职介破事儿（2013）

A jazz mag, and a socket set.
一本爵士乐杂♥志♥ 一个插板
I went to the shops and I bought a banana,
我去商店 买♥♥了一条香蕉
a BMW motorbike,
一辆宝马摩托
a pair of nunchucks, a jazz mag,
一支双节棍 一本爵士乐杂♥志♥
a socket set,
一个插板
and a can of WD-40.
还有一罐润滑油
Graham, you're up.
Graham 该你了
OK.
好的
I went to the shops and I bought some tinned burgers...
我去商店 买♥♥了罐装汉堡...
an individual fish pie,
一份鱼肉馅饼
a packet of Snack A Jacks
一包零食
and a tube of Germolene.
和一管药膏
No, Gray, that's not right. I know, I meant to get toothpaste.
不 Gray 不是这样 我知道 我本来要买♥♥牙膏
You're supposed to repeat what the last person said.
你只需重复上一个人的话就行了
But that's not what I bought.
但我没买♥♥那些
I don't even like UB-40.
我不喜欢UB-40乐队
Shall we play something else?
要玩别的吗?
So, come on, then, spill the beans. What did you get up to?
好了 说说看吧 你怎么了?
Can't stop. I'm going to poo my lungs out.
腹泻停不了 我都快把肺拉出来了
Everyone knows you're an absolute whiz on these things.
大家都知道你在这方面是个专家
No, completely self-taught, but what I don't know, they can't teach you anyway.
也不是 我是自学的 但我不懂的他们教不了你
Excellent, because I need you to go into a website
好极了 我需要你进一个网站
and change Angela's profile page. Hang on a minute, Trish.
改Angela的简介 等等 Trish
Are you asking me to access a secure domain without permission from the webmaster?
你要我不经网站管♥理♥员♥许可就进入安全域?
I don't know. Am I?
我不知道 是这样吗?
You want me to hack into Angela's private account.
你要我侵入Angela的私人账户
It's completely unethical and highly illegal.
这样很不道德 而且是非法的
Not a prob. I'll need to know what I'm dealing with first.
好吧 我得先弄清到底要做什么
Right, well brace yourself.
很好 加油干吧
Oh, no, no, no. Sorry, this is the staff toilet.
不不不 抱歉 这是员工专用的厕所
Not today, it's not.
不 今天不是
' I'm a real animal lover.'
'我很喜欢动物'
'In fact, I'm a bit of an animal myself.'
'其实 我自己也很野性'
Oh, dear.
天哪
'Stroke my fur to make me purr,'
'轻抚绒毛 我会舒服得呜呜叫'
'but rub me the wrong way and this kitten bites!'
'要是惹恼了我 喵咪可是会咬人的!'
'Meow.'
'喵'
George, you need to promise me you won't tell anyone about this.
George 你要保证你会保密
I didn't know Angela had a conservatory.
Angela竟然还有个暖房♥
'Let's hook up for fun, maybe dinner.'
'找找乐子 比如共进晚餐'
'But I warn you, I can be a bit of a messy eater.'
'话说在前面 我吃相可不好'
Is that a Dairylea triangle?
那玩意儿是奶酪块吗?
We're in the news today because of this factory shutdown.
我们今天上报是因为工厂倒闭了
If people search the world wide web for the manager of Brownall job centre,
有人搜Brownall职介所经理的话
they don't get me, they get Angela doing herself a cheesy mischief.
找到的就不是我 而是Angela在耍她的奶酪闹剧
Now, can you change it or not?
好了 你到底能不能改过来?
Course I can. Probably just a simple firewall.
当然 大概只需防火墙就行了
There's usually a back door into most systems. OK.
多数系统都有秘密通道 很好
Technically you're only ever six clicks away from nuclear Armageddon.
理论上来说 点几下鼠标就能挑起核大战
Oh.
噢
Well, it's not supposed to do that.
得 这样行不通
What?
怎么了?
Karl, come here a minute.
Karl 过来一下
What do you want? Just come here, quick.
有什么事? 过来 快点儿
Angela, is your computer working? No.
Angela 你电脑能动吗? 不能
I think the system's gone down.
我想是系统崩溃了
How are we gonna sign people on without computers?
没有电脑 我们怎么登记?
Karl, go and tell Trish.
Karl 去叫Trish
I can't. I'll tell her.
我去不了 我去找她
Ooh!
哦!
Oh, my God.
天哪
How long is it going to take?
需要多长时间?
You don't know, do you? No.
你不知道吗? 不知道
System's gone down.
系统崩溃了
Yes, I am aware of that, thank you, Angela. We are dealing with it.
我知道 谢谢 Angela 我们正在处理
George is perfectly in control.
George能搞定
Come on, sunshine, play the game!
快啊 宝贝儿 动起来!
I hope so. There's a lot of people out there that are relying on you.
但愿如此 外面的人都指望你了
Yes, thank you. OK.
知道了 谢谢你 好的
Why does it just say "Error"?
为什么显示"错误"?
That means it's working. Oh, George.
这表示正在处理 噢 George
Ladies and gentlemen, we're having a few problems with the computer system,
各位 我们的计算机系统 出了一点小问题
so we're going to sign you all on using our paper forms.
所以我们要用纸质表格进行登记
It'll just take a tiny bit longer.
只不过需要多花点儿时间
You know it's ten to five, Trish.
差十分钟就到五点了 Trish
So I'm pleased to announce that Brownall Job Centre will stay open
我宣布 Brownall职介所将一直开放
as long as it takes to sign you all on.
直到所有人都登记完毕
Yes?
好吗?
Isn't that right, everyone?
诸位 这样行吗 ?
You won't let me down, will you?
你没有异议吧?
No.
没有
No, I'm happy to stay.
没有 我愿意留下来
We'll all stay.
大家都留下来
Yeah, I don't mind. There we are, then, sorted. Thank you Karl.
是 我不介意 安排妥当了 谢谢 Karl
Are you going somewhere Angela? Keep fit.
Angela 你去哪儿? 去健身
Everyone else is staying late.
大家都要加班
Everyone else doesn't block book their Zumba.
他们又没有预约尊巴舞课程
OK, Angela, you go.
行 Angela 你走吧
I wouldn't want to rub you up the wrong way. I know you can bite.
我可惹不起你 你会咬人的
Sorry? Word of advice.
什么? 奉劝一句
If you do it in a conservatory, close the blinds. Someone might see your...
做那种事之前要拉下百叶窗 免得别人看见你的...
Dairylea triangle.
奶酪块
Perhaps I will stay.
我应该留下的
Super!
好极了!
Look, everyone, even Angela's staying late to help. Isn't that great?
瞧 诸位 Angela也来帮忙 很棒吧?
You see? Team work does make the dream work.
瞧见没? 团结就是力量
In you come, chick.
进来 小伙子
So I'm black.
我是黑人
I'm a rapper and I was killed in a Las Vegas drive by.
我是个说唱艺人 在拉斯维加斯被飞车撞死了
Am I Gary Wilmot?
我是Gary Wilmot吗?
No!
不是!
Have you done any work today, Paul Franks?
Paul Franks 你没事可做吗?
I'm keeping up morale.
我在鼓舞士气呢
Here you are. Join in.
这个给你 一起来吧
Who's Linda Lovelace?
琳达·拉芙蕾丝是谁?
A classical actress.
一位女演员
Beautiful, she was.
她很漂亮
Absolute spit of you.
跟你一样
Ugh! I'm knackered!
我快累死了!
I haven't used a pen that much since I was at school.
毕业之后我就没怎么用过笔
Thanks, Angela. Yes, yes, thank you, everyone. Much appreciated.
谢了 Angela 是啊 谢谢大家 非常感谢
I know we're all exhausted from finishing everyone off by hand.
我知道人工登记把大家都累坏了
Last one's just left.
最后一位也走了
You all right, Karl? I've crashed.
Karl 你没事吧? 我不行了
Oh, dear.
天哪
Have you tried him with some Calpol?
你给他喂退烧药了吗?
I would do, Mum, but we're still working. Sorry.
我会的 妈妈 但我还没下班 抱歉
I think it's going to be a late one.
要到很晚才行
I'll be back as soon as I can.
我会尽快赶回去的
Right, bye.
好的 就这样
Pub? Oh, yes, please. I need a humongous gin.
去酒吧? 好啊 我要来杯大大的杜松子酒
All right, hair of the dog.
好啊 去清醒一下
Is George coming? He's working late, still fixing the computers.
George来吗? 他还忙着修电脑
He said to go on without him.
他说让我们先去
Right.
好吧
'I'm not looking for love,'
'我不找情人'
'just someone who likes a bit of adventure.'
'只要个喜欢冒险的人就行'
'For me life's all about having fun.'
'对我来说 生命在于享受'
'I'm crazy for poetry and long walks in the rain.'
'我热爱诗歌♥ 喜欢雨中漫步'
'I just love to laugh.'
'我喜欢大笑'