职介破事儿（2013）

Between you and me, he's a right miserable git.
悄悄说一句 他是个悲剧的饭桶
I can hear you.
我能听到你说的
Hi, hi. Hi, welcome. I'm Karl.
你好 欢迎 我是Karl
Sorry about the sweaty hands. I've just been with a big man.
不好意思手上都是汗 我刚才和一个大只佬在一起
Not like that.
不是你想的那样
You try to be a good wife. I know. I know.
你努力当一个好老婆 我懂 我懂
When Chris left me,
Chris离开我的时候
I couldn't help wondering, could I have done more?
我忍♥不住去想 我是不是当初可以做得更多?
I just can't believe he's lied to me. Of course you can't.
我真没想到他居然对我说谎 肯定没想到
When Chris left me, it was the biggest shock of my life.
Chris离开我的时候 我觉得这是我一生里最大的坎
I just... I feel embarrassed. Stupid.
我只是 我觉得很难堪 太愚蠢了
No. No. I will not have you talk like that.
不 不 我不会让你那么说
When Chris left me, I felt like a fool...
Chris离开我的时候 我觉得自己像个傻子一样
but you have to keep telling yourself it's not your fault.
但你得一直告诉自己 这不是你的错
I know It's not your fault.
我明白 这不是你的错
I don't think It's not your fault. It's his fault.
我不觉得 这不是你的错 全是他的错
Women, eh?
女人 嘿?
You, in. Now.
你 进来 马上
I've brought in my own computer.
我把自己的电脑带来了
You don't need to download anything or open any attachments.
你不用下载或者打开什么文件
No chance of getting any viruses. So can I please borrow your printer?
不可能中什么病毒 我能借用你的打印机了吗?
If you must.
要是你坚持的话
Hold on. What now?
等等 又怎么了?
Is it PAT tested? What? I don't know.
PAT检查过了吗? 什么? 我不明白
Has it got a sticker on it saying it's been Portable Appliance Tested?
上面有已通过便携式装置测试的标签吗?
No. Well, then, you can't plug it in in here.
没有 那你不能在这用它
You could blow the place sky high.
你会把这地方炸开花的
I use it every day.
我每天都在用
Electricity at work regulations 1989.
1989年电力使用条例
If you plug it in, I will be forced to call the police.
你如果插上了电源 我就必须要通知警方了
You gotta believe me, bab. I'm not a dishonest bloke.
你要相信我 亲爱的 我不是个不忠的家伙
You're joking.
开玩笑呢你
You don't throw shapes like that with osteospondylosis.
脊椎有毛病的话不可能拍出这样的照片来
I just wanna know why, Eddie. Yes, why?
我只想知道为什么 Eddie 没错 为什么?
Why would you say you love someone
为什么你要跟一个人说我爱你
and then break their heart in two like a dry twig?
然后又把她的心像作树枝掰成两节?
I didn't mean to -
我不是故意
Do you know what it's like to have everything you've ever loved
你知道让所有你深爱过的人或物
shattered in front of your eyes like another dry twig.
在你面前粉碎是什么感觉吗?
Honestly, Trish To lose all selfrespect.
Trish 其实 失去所有的自尊
To find yourself wandering the streets of Kidderminster at 3am
半夜3点发现自己在基德明斯特大街上游荡
in your best nightie
穿着自己最好的睡衣
with absolutely no idea of how you got there? Do you?
完全不知道自己怎么去到那里的 你明白吗?
No.
不
Trish, I have only got the room booked for ten more minutes
Trish 这房♥间还有十分钟就超过预定时间了
What's more important? Benefit fraud or a broken heart?
那个比较重要? 福利欺诈还是破碎的心?
Benefit A broken heart.
福利 破碎的心
You're in a fraud interview, Trish.
这里是欺诈审讯 Trish
You must be kidding me! Don't do this, Eddie.
开玩笑呢吧! 别这样 Eddie
What is this? Amateur hour?
这算什么? 欢乐时光吗?
Why is no one taking this seriously?
怎么就没人把这当回事呢?
Jane, you look wonderful every night. And in the daytime.
Jane 你每天晚上都很美 白天也是
Go. Go on. What?
走吧 什么?
Quickly, before I change my mind.
快点 趁我改变主意之前
Go and love the heck out of each other.
快走 回去以后深爱对方吧
Thank you. Come on, Eddie.
谢谢 走吧 Eddie
Am I going mad?!
我要疯了吗?!
We've done a wonderful thing.
我们做了一件好事
They just cheated the system out of ￡30,000!
他们从福利系统里骗取了三万镑!
What would your mystery jobseeker say about that? Really?
你那神秘求职者知道了会怎么说? 真的吗?
I didn't think it was that much.
我没想到有那么多
That's major fraud. Go and get them now, George.
这是严重欺诈 快把他们拉回来 George
Quickly! Run!
赶紧的! 快跑!
Eh, George? Not now, Janette, I'm on a foot chase.
George? 现在没空 Janette 我要去追人
Nice meeting you. Sorry again about the wait.
很高兴认识你 还是很抱歉让你等了那么久
It's no problem. You've been really helpful. It's what we do.
没关系 你帮了很大的忙 应该的
Thanks so much for popping in. I do hope we've been of service.
很感激你能来 希望我们服务到位
Thanks, Karl.
谢谢 Karl
You all right? All I want to do is print off my CV.
你没事吧? 我只想打印一下我的简历
I'll help you with that.
我来帮你吧
Oh, thank you.
太感谢了
And they say good-looking people are never unemployed.
他们还说帅哥美女不会失业
Do they? Some people do. Idiots.
是吗? 是有些人这么说 太傻了
Cos you're unemployed and you're definitely good-looking.
因为你失业了 但你绝对很漂亮
Thanks.
谢谢
If you don't get this job,you could try modelling.
这份工作要是没成功 你可以去试试当模特
You've definitely got the right erm... face.
你有非常好的 脸蛋
Anything else I can help you with?
还有什么我能帮你的吗?
Yes, actually. I've got a friend who needs to make an appeal,
还真的有 我有个朋友想要申诉
and she asked me to get a GL24 form?
她让我来拿一张GL24表?
Would you excuse me?
失陪一下?
Just a little clue? Anything? Give us a sign. Good, bad, in the middle?
一点点提示? 随便什么? 来个手势 好评 差评 不好不坏?
What are you talking about?
你在说什么?
I don't think he's the mystery jobseeker.
我觉得他不是那个神秘求职者
That's what I've been trying to say. It's her. She asked for a GL24.
我正想这么说啊 是她 她要GL24表格了
A woman?
女人?
I'll take that, thank you.
我来拿吧 谢谢
That bit's mine!
那是我的!
Fine. Have it.
好吧 拿着
Hello, madam. Can I have a quick word?
小姐您好 能说句话吗?
Was everything satisfactory to your requirements today?
今天一切都还顺利吗?
We pride ourselves...
我们为自己感到骄傲
Ten more minutes and we get him out.
再过十分钟 我们把他弄出去
I'll call my mate with the trailer.
我叫人把拖车开过来
He's gone again.
他又来了
Are you feeling better, chick?
觉得好点了吗?
Oh, er, Janette, I'm afraid I've got a bit of bad news.
呃 Janette 我想我有个坏消息
You remember when Rocky the budgie died?
你记得鹦鹉Rocky死的时候吗?
And you replaced him, you got Rocky II.
为了代替 你又养了Rocky二世
He was never the same. No, but
他总是不一样 是的 不过
He kept rubbing himself on the cuttlefish.
它老是把自己往乌贼身上摩
The thing is, the same thing's happened with Graham.
现在问题是 同样的事发生在了Graham身上
Oh, that's disgusting!
太恶心了!
No, not that, Janette. She means he's... passed away.
不 不是那样 Janette 她是说Graham去世了
What's he reading then, his obituary?
那他在看什么 自己的讣告吗?
Graham... I thought you were dead.
Graham 我以为你死了
Must have nodded off. I checked your pulse, nothing.
肯定是打瞌睡了 我试了你的脉搏 什么都没有
I am a very heavy sleeper.
我睡得很沉
I must have been out for quite a while, it's gone dark.
我一定是出来太久了 都天黑了
Is that better?
好点了吗?
I'll get you some tea.
我去给你倒杯茶
You dunder-heads!
你们这两个白♥痴♥!
So, job points - seven out of ten,
招聘区 七分
windows and posters - seven out of ten,
布告栏 七分
overall cleanliness eight out of ten. Only eight?
整体清洁度 八分 只有八分?
Er, phone bank... What about the advisor that dealt with her?
电♥话♥问询处 接待她的那个顾问如何?
Good.
很好
How good? What did I get?
有多好? 我得了几分?
Er... nine. So not perfect.
呃 九分 还不够完美
That's exceptionally high, isn't it? What did I do well?
特别高了 不是吗? 我哪些地方做得棒了?
You carried out your workplace exercises.
你做了办公室体操
And?
还有?
And you were efficient, knowledgeable and followed IT procedure to the letter.
还有你效率高 知识渊博 按照规定进行IT步骤
Oh, well done, Angela!
干得好 Angela！
So we did do well? Did we beat Great Barr?
我们做的不错吧? 我们赢了格瑞德巴尔吗?
No. Unfortunately, another member of staff then broke the IT policy
没有 不幸地是 另外一位员工没有遵守IT守则
and attempted to flirt with the mystery jobseeker. Yeah... as a joke.
并且试图和神秘求职者调情 就开个玩笑
She's recommending you go on a sexual boundaries in the workplace course.
她建议你去参加关于工作场所内性边界的课程
Check out Casanova!
情圣!
So, overall we got below 75%
最后 我们低于7.5分