老娘还没死（2023）

（布鲁克摩公♥寓♥）
天啊 你在吃玻璃碎片吗
Oh, my gosh. Are you eating shards of glass?
是水果谷片
It's Crunch Berries.
你可以吃小声一点 或是加点棉花糖吗
Well, could you please chew them a little quieter or add some marshmallows?
我在忙 我真的需要专心
I'm working, and I really need to concentrate.
我们不是每分每秒 都是想要拯救世界的环保战士
Sorry, we're not all environmental warriors trying to save the world
真不好意思呢
every second of the day.
你也不是 这是什么
Neither are you! What is this?
绿色交友 爱护地球人士的交友软体
Green Swipe? "A dating app for earth lovers"?
对 我希望我的伴侣也爱地球
Yes. I want my lover to love her mother.
和夏洛特分手后 我不想再隐藏自我了
After Charlotte, I don't want to hide the real me anymore.
我想让潜在交往对象认识真实的艾德华
I want any potential ladies to know the real Edward.
我希望个人档案呈现出我最完整的面貌
So I need this profile to be the epitome of me.
你也该考虑这么做 因为你总是一个人
You should consider it, given the fact that you're always alone
一边吃香辣奇多一边看真实犯罪节目
and watching true crime and eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
节目和点心一样劲爆 我用过交友软体 不适合我
The drama's as spicy as the snack. And I've been on apps. They're not for me.
说真的 问别人 「你会带哪三样东西去无人岛 」
I mean, seriously, what do you learn from somebody by asking them,
真的能了解对方吗 好蠢
"What are your three items you'd bring to a deserted island?" That's...dumb.
这反映出你的优先顺序为何
Where your priorities lie,
危机思考能力和分♥析♥危急情境的能力
critical-thinking skills, ability to analyze a disaster scenario?
搞得好复杂
That's all so complicated.
我真庆幸我不会急着展开下一段恋情
Oh, I'm just so glad I am not in a rush to get into another relationship.
我也松了一口气
I'm just relieved to know
因为你平淡无奇的感情空窗期 是自己选择的
that your very arid dry spell's a choice that you're making
而不是别人帮你决定的
instead of choice that others are making for you.
我渐渐觉得你可能是剩女 奈儿
I was beginning to think that you might be a spinster, Nell.
我怎么会是剩女
How am I a spinster?
我又没有养猫 好吗
I don't have any cats.
我不会成天打毛线…我的确会玩宾果
Okay, I-I-I don't weave for a living. And I-I-I -- I do play bingo,
但只有喊数字的人是变装皇后 我才会玩
but that's only if a drag queen is calling it.
再说 我最近才刚结束很久的关系
Hey! Plus, I recently got out of a very long relationship.
以宇宙的历史来看 也许算最近的事
I guess maybe if you consider the history of the cosmos, it's recent.
去死啦 艾德华 我过得很好
Suck an egg, Edward. I'm doing just fine.
（还不快乐 还没准备好 还没结婚 还无法活得自♥由♥自在）
（还没有成就感 还没成功 还没赚大钱 还没了却遗憾）
（还没长大）
老娘还没死
第一季第十一集

我在想时候到了
So, I've just been thinking, it's time, you know?
我之前的确需要一点时间放下菲利浦 但老实说
I definitely needed to take a little while to get myself over Phillip, but, honestly,
我最后一次看到裸体的男人就是他 这样下去不行
he was the last person I got naked with, and that is just not okay anymore.
-你有什么打算 -我要找人玩玩
So what is the plan? I'm gonna have a fling.
我相当支持你去认识别人 好好享乐
Well, I'm very supportive of you getting out there and getting some.
但要小心一点
You know, just, uh -- just be careful.
毕竟你以前总是会马上爱上对方
I mean, you just have a history of falling into relationships kind of fast.
这是好事 代表你是重感情的人
Which is a good thing. It means you feel very big feelings.
就我的印象 你从不会只和对方上♥床♥ 完全不谈感情
I've just never known you to just hook up with somebody and not get attached.
那是以前的奈儿 我已经脱胎换骨 变成了情场高手奈儿
Well, that was the old Nell. This is the new Nell -- "Playa' Nell."
-我也想习惯这样的你 -没错
-Eh! I'm trying to get into it. -Yeah.
重点只放在火♥辣♥辣的性♥爱♥
Well, it's just gonna all be about hot and steamy sex,
毫无牵挂 没有负担
no strings, no baggage.
我支持你
Well, I am here for it.
说到火♥辣♥辣
Ooh, speaking of hot and steamy...
昨晚发生一件超火♥辣♥的事
...the sexiest thing happened last night.
基斯在帮孩子们做恐龙鸡块
So, Keith was making dino nuggets for the kids,
有只超大苍蝇飞到台面上
and this huge fly landed on the counter.
他踢一脚 把烤箱门关起来
And so he just -- Bap! Kicked the oven door closed with one leg
一手拿着一整盘刚出炉的鸡块
while holding a whole tray of hot nugs.
然后用另一只手杀了那只苍蝇
He then just killed the fly with the other hand.
太性感了
It was so hot.
因为你们之后做♥爱♥了吗
Because you had sex after that?
才没有 我们要累死了
Oh, God no. We were so exhausted,
我们哄孩子上♥床♥后 就回各自的房♥间睡
we just fell asleep in separate rooms after we had put the kids down.
看到你的表情后 我真后悔跟你分享
And now that I see that look on your face, I am really regretting sharing that.
-抱歉 -嗨 我刚传了下一份讣闻的电邮给你
-Sorry. -Hey. Just e-mailed you your next obit.
（下一份讣闻）
一只狗 我太喜欢了
A dog? Oh, I love this one.
史考特真的是英雄
Scout was a real hero.
它担任搜救犬的生涯中 救了超过两百个人
He saved over 200 people in his career as a search-and-rescue dog.
-它还拿过奖牌 -天啊
He even got a medal for it. Wow.
我的搜救犬只会冲撞纱门和咬我的小孩
I mean, all my rescue dog does is run into screen doors and bite my children.
我确定芒果鸡公主是郊狼
I'm pretty sure Princess Mango Chicken is a coyote.
-不是吧 -就是
- No. - Yes.
天啊 看看你
Oh, my God. Look at you.
谁是可爱的小宝贝啊 就是你
Who's a cute, little baby boy? Yes.
看看那件小外套 这个帅哥是谁啊
Look at that little jacket. Who's a handsome boy?
我猜你在说我吧
Well, I guess that would be me.
这是香蕉共和国的
And it's Banana Republic.
他们这一季的衣服品质变好了
But, you know, I really think they upped their game this season.
没有啦 我只是在看IG上的狗狗影片
No. Oh, I was -- I was just watching, like, an Instagram video with a dog in it.
不是在说你 我…
Not you, of course.
但你在IG上一定很受欢迎
Uh, but I'm sure you do real well on Instagram.
我的化妆教学影片的确爆红了几次
Well, my makeup tutorial page has gone viral a few times.
-所以我遇到名人了 -算是
So I'm in the presence of a celebrity? Yeah, kinda.
我是詹姆斯
I'm James.
大家注意
Attention!
-嗨 詹姆斯 我… -嗨
-Hi, James. I'm -- My name's Nell. -Hi.
-我有事要宣布 -我是奈儿
- Announcement, everyone! - I'm Nell.
-奈儿 很高兴认识你 -你们的老板有事宣布
- Nell. Your leader has an announcement. - Nice to meet you.
-很高兴认识你 -詹姆斯
- Nice to meet you. - James?
-她在叫我 -对
-That's me. -Oh, yes.
我记得 你两秒前说过
I remember that from two seconds ago.
詹姆斯
James?!
-我也得过去 好 -好 你先请
- I also have to go, too. Okay. - Okay, after you.
各位 我要向大家介绍詹姆斯葛斯基
Everyone, I would like to introduce James Gorski.
-好 -詹姆斯是战地记者
- Hey. - James is a war correspondent
他过去多年来 为我们报社撰稿
who has done some freelance work for the paper over the years.
我们很开心他能回来报社几天
And we are so excited to have him back for a few days.
那个詹姆斯葛斯基
Now, that James Gorski,
他能杀掉苍蝇 懂我的意思吗
he could kill a fly. You know what I'm saying?
姐妹 拜托你为了我把标准提高一点
Girl, I'm gonna need you to raise the bar right up off the floor for me, please. While James is here,
我们要和美国广播公♥司♥地方新闻台 一起推出新的电视节目
we'll be launching a new on-air segment with our local ABC News affiliate.
由于我辅修电影研究 而且多才多艺
And as I have a minor in film studies, and a major in talent,
我将担任导演 或所谓的电影导演
I will be your director. Or auteur, if you will.
梅森 这是法语的「嘘」 谢谢大家
Shh, Mason. That's French for "Shh." Thank you, everyone!
詹姆斯如何 跟他玩玩可以吧
So, uh, what about James, huh? Could he be my fling?
环游世界的风流才子
Ooh, the world-traveling Casanova
他的工作还不允许认真谈感情吗
whose schedule doesn't allow for a relationship.
如果你不行动就辜负人家的好意了
I would consider it a betrayal if you didn't.
好 非常好 一时风流 不带情感 然后他就会离开
Okay, this is great. In and out, no feelings, and then he's gone.
-太棒了 -再见
-Amazing. -Byyye!
真为我们感到开心
Happy for us.
莱克希 我爱詹姆斯制♥作♥电视节目的构想 但他很快就会离开
Lexi, I love the idea of James doing on-air segments, but he'll be gone soon.
如果不继续制♥作♥就太可惜了
And it'd be a shame if we couldn't keep it up.
除非我们找到接替的人选
You know, unless we had a replacement.
我知道你的意思
I see what you're saying.
我们得找个和詹姆斯一样帅气的才子
I need to find someone as talented and charming as James.
我
Me!
不好意思
I'm sorry.
我是说我可以
I-I meant me.
我就读新闻学院第二年时必须选主修
Listen, in my second year of journalism school, we had to choose a track.
我想专研电视 但我的教授建议我选新闻
I wanted to do TV, but my professor recommended I do journalism,
于是我就照做了
so that's what I did.
但我常常在想
But I always wondered...
「如果我选择另一条道路 会发生什么事呢 」
what would've happened if I had chosen the other path?
我能借此知道结果
This is my chance to find out.
就像《双面情人》里的葛妮丝派特洛 只是少穿点高领毛衣
Like Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors, but with fewer turtlenecks.
真是动人 我一向很喜欢听我员工的梦想
Oh, that's beautiful. I always love hearing about my employees' dreams.
-谢谢 -喂 假来电
-Thank you. -Hello? Fake phone call...
好让我避开尴尬的情况
...to get out of awkward situations?
嗨 我正好要打给你
Oh, hi! I was just going to call you!
-不 他没有要进电梯 -好
-Oh, no, he's not getting in the elevator. -Right.
对 豌豆和胡萝卜 豌豆和胡萝卜 对
Yes. Peas and carrots, peas and carrots. Yes.