老娘还没死（2023）

(出租中) (布鲁克摩公♥寓♥)
我还是无法适应
Still not used to that.
这个地方有几坪
What's the square footage in this place?
如果我没被公车撞死 就能租这里一天
I could rent this in a day if I were still alive and hadn't been hit by that bus.
对 你说过很多次了
Yeah, you've said that, many times.
你其实不需要刷牙
You know, you don't need to brush your teeth.
水里面已经有氟化物 光明会能藉此追踪你
There's already fluoride in the water, and that's how the Illuminati tracks you.
你真幸运 不必再担心这种事了
Well, lucky for you, you don't have to worry about that anymore.
你又不知道
You don't know that.
-干嘛 -你还要很久吗
- What?! - Is it gonna be much longer?
你搬进来时我们就说好了 用厕所不能超过十分钟
We agreed when you moved in, 10 minutes of bathroom time,
我需要上大号♥
and I got one in the chamber.
等我一下 恶耶
Give me a minute! That's gross.
-他知道这个情况吗 -不 没人知道
Does he know about this whole deal? No. Nobody does.
你疯了吗 他们会把她关起来 说出真♥相♥的人都会被关
Are you crazy? They'd lock her up. That's what happens to truth tellers.
我真的得叫丹尼斯 不要同时给我太多份讣告
I really got to tell Dennis to stop giving me multiple obituaries at once.
快点啦 你在跟谁讲话
Come on! Who are you talking to, anyway?
没有 我只是在听很讨厌的播客
Nobody. Just listening to a very annoying podcast.
说谎是种罪过
You know lying is a sin?
你对这一切做何感想 神父
How do you feel about all this, Father?
我对于这一切感到相当困惑
I'm very confused about everything that's happening.
也许你该跟圣公会教♥徒♥谈谈
Maybe you should talk to an Episcopalian.
(还不快乐 还没准备好 还没结婚 还无法活得自♥由♥自在)
(还没有成就感 还没成功 还没赚大钱 还没了却遗憾)
(还没长大)
《老娘还没死》
第一季第六集
本WEB版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 双语合并
真不敢相信他们让你筹备这个活动
I can't believe they put you in charge of this festival.
就是说啊 这是报社最赚钱的活动了
I know, right? It's the newspaper's biggest moneymaker,
他们往年都会让专栏主编筹办
and usually, they give it to, like, a section editor,
然后我就惊觉 我已经是专栏主编了
and then I realized, yeah, your girl's a section editor.
好耶
- Okay.
他们知道你在这个活动的黑历史吗
Do they know your sordid history with the festival?
我们以前还是穷正职写手时 偷了所有厂商的东西
How when we were broke staff writers, we would just steal from all the vendors?
我还是没办法吃椰子虾
I still can't eat coconut shrimp.
我很快就学到了不要把竹签放进口袋
Oh, I learned real quick not to put skewers in your pocket.
我还记得
I remember that.
IT部门人员的发型真美
Whoa. The IT guy got a blowout.
珊姆 你一定不会介意
Oh! Sam, I'm sure you don't mind.
我想查「公主病」是什么 我以为这有性暗示
I needed to find out what a Karen was, and I thought it might be a sex thing,
所以我不想用自己工作的电脑查询
so I didn't want to Google from my work computer.
结果这是种称赞呢
Turns out it's a compliment.
天啊 你真的很跟得上 时代精神呢 莱克希
Wow, you really got your finger on the zeitgeist, Lexi.
我知道
I know.
有个坏消息 11号♥餐酒馆不能参加珍馔美酒节了
Oh! Bad news. Bistro Eleven has had to drop out of the food and wine festival.
我知道哪间餐厅能顶替 你还记得「美味餐厅」吗
I know who could replace them. Do you remember Nyam Mat,
就是我们之前超爱的 瑞典和牙买♥♥加混合料理餐厅
that Swedish-Jamaican fusion place we were obsessed with?
当然记得 他们的盐腌鲱鱼帮我们撑过了隔离时期
Of course! Their jerk herring got us through quarantine.
再说 他们的风格很切合
Plus, they're really kind of on-brand
我们对活动的想法 对吧
with what we were envisioning for the event, right?
随性的时髦和性感 就像...
Chic, sexy, but in a casual way, just like...
蒂妲史云顿
Tilda Swinton! - Tilda Swinton!
对 我爱蒂妲史云顿 她好瘦弱
Ha ha, yes! I love Tilda Swinton. She's so... gaunt.
珊姆 你今晚应该来我家
Sam, you should come over to my place tonight.
我请你吃晚餐 算是答谢你辛苦筹备活动
Dinner on me as a little thank-you for all of your hard work.
我们能一边确认活动场地的配置
We can finalize the layout for the event
一边啜饮粉红酒 嘲笑我们的丈夫
while sipping rosé and mocking our husbands.
当然好
Yes to that.
抱歉 改天再去葵克莉的酒吧吗
I am so sorry. Rain check on Cricket's?
没问题 我知道你忙得分身乏术
Sure. No problem. I know you have a lot on your plate.
谢谢
- Thanks.
如果这有帮助 我可以请葵克莉摆个葡萄酒摊位
- Oh, if it helps, I bet I can get Cricket to do a booth for her wine bar.
那真的是帮了大忙
That would help so much.
-谢谢你 -真贴心
Thank you. How sweet.
珊姆 要不要来我的办公室 试坐我的按♥摩♥椅
Sam, why don't you come up to my office, try out my new massage chair?
我请他们移除限流板 按♥摩♥力道很猛
I had them take out the restrictor plate so it really gets in there.
太好了
Mm! Great.
好棒 玩按♥摩♥椅玩得开心喔
Heh. Awesome. Yeah, have fun in that massage chair.
有坐骨神经痛的本人 就继续痛苦地坐着写讣告吧
Me and my sciatica will just be here uncomfortably writing obituaries.
(来自丹尼斯辛伯琼斯) (你的下一份讣告)
嗨 我刚把下一份讣告寄给你了
Hey, hey. Mm-hmm? Just sent you your next obit assignment.
泰莉劳伦斯 1980年代的操偶师
Terri Lawrence, the puppet lady from the '80s.
嗨 我是猪脚
Oh. Hi. I'm Ham Hock.
真棒 是操偶师 太好了
Oh, great, a puppet lady. Awesome.
我不只是布偶 我是朋友
Oh, I'm more than a puppet. I'm a friend!
(葵克莉轻松小酌)
奈儿 我当然愿意参加活动
Oh, Nell, I would love to do your festival.
我和蒙提以前常常参加 我们都会玩得很开心
Honey, Monty and I used to do them all the time, and we'd have so much fun.
-但一个人做不来 -也许我能帮忙
But it's a two-person job. - Maybe I can help.
-你懂葡萄酒吗 -略有涉猎
- You know anything about wine? - I dabble.
-略有涉猎 -对
- You dabble? - I do.
好 跟我说说这杯
- Okay. Tell me about that.
在嘴里很湿
It's very wet on the palate.
不行
No.
深石榴红
Deep garnet color.
水果香 菸草味
Fruit punch, pipe tobacco.
香醇的单宁酸味 是欧洲产区 南义大利
Velvety tannins. Old World. Southern Italy.
是2016年的金芬黛吗
Is this a 2016 Primitivo?
-对 -我超讨厌
- Yes! - I hate it.
你怎么这么懂葡萄酒
How do you know so much about wine?
我之前想追我的女友
Well, when I was trying to get my girlfriend,
就读了《魅力》杂♥志♥的一篇文章 「女人最爱的十大事物」
I read an article in Glamour-- "Ten Things Women Love."
而葡萄酒是第一名
Wine was at the top of the list.
想当然 我就尽可能钻研相关知识
So, naturally, I learned everything I could about it.
但很遗憾的是她不喝酒
Unfortunately, however, she doesn't drink.
你这周末要出远门真可惜
It's too bad you're out of town this weekend.
-我没有 她叫我不要去 -为什么
I'm not. She asked me not to come. - Why?
女人很难懂 就像2019年的波尔多
- Women are complex. - Like a 2019 Bordeaux.
我真是讲个不停
Oh! Can't turn it off.
那你就能帮葵克莉
So, you can help Cricket?
我的确买♥♥了一件新衣服
- I did get a new shirt.
没有标签 超级柔软
No tag, super soft.
我很期待要穿
I'm very excited to get into it.
那好啊
- Okay. - Yay!
万岁 你们一定会很喜欢
You guys are gonna love it.
我和我朋友常常偷拿摊位的东西
Oh, me and my friends always steal from all the booths.
但当然不会偷你的摊位
But not yours, of course.
天啊 我好想念面包
God, I miss bread.
我要在珍馔美酒节上暴饮暴食
I am gonna eat and drink all the food and wine
一直到结束为止
at the food and wine festival until it is just a festival.
对喔 你在节食
Right. You're starving yourself.
精♥子♥排毒计画进行得如何
How's the Great Sperm Detox going?
我和班今天下班后会去存放精♥子♥
Well, Ben and I are making our deposits tonight after work.
我们这三周都滴酒不沾 也没吃什么像样的食物
We haven't had a single drop of alcohol or a decent bite of food in three weeks.
得让那些小虫子动起来
Gotta keep those wigglyboys a-squigglin'.
-不 不要这样 -快啦 扭一下
Ew! No. Don't do that. No. Yes. Do it.
天大的好消息 珊姆
- Wonderful news, Sam.
我父亲要来参加活动 亲眼见证
My father will now be attending our event to see firsthand
我们向社区行销自我的成效有多好
how well we're marketing ourselves to our community.
我真是高兴得不得了
I just could not be more... pleased.
他是一家相当成功的 媒体兼保健食品帝国的执行长
Just because he's the CEO of a very successful media/health-supplement empire
也不代表他会很挑剔 不 他很随和
does not mean that he's particular. No, he's very easy to deal with,
尽管如此 我应该增加一些
but that said, I think adding just a couple of things
我知道会得到正面回应的东西
that I know will get a positive response could be the move.
莱克希 莱克希 我知道你♥爸♥让你压力很大 你还好吗
Lexi. Lexi, I know your dad kind of stresses you out, so you doing okay?
对 很好啊
Yeah, totally.
-我要被勒死了 -要更紧一点 很好
You're choking me. Needs to be tighter.
听我说 我想到一些小细节
Yes, listen, I think just a couple of small things,
也许能摆一个手卷菸的摊位
like perhaps have a booth set up with people hand-rolling cigars.
这...这应该不难达成
That-- That'd be something easy to do,
我可以把他的客制菸草配方传给你 这很容易
and I can text you the customs forms for his tobacco concierge. So that'll be easy.
我们也要换掉爵士乐团 因为爵士乐会让他不爽
We also need to switch out the jazz band, because, um, jazz agitates him.
其实他讨厌 会让人想要舞动身体的所有东西
In fact, he doesn't actually care for anything that inspires people to move their bodies.
也许换成什么呢 我不知道...风笛