9号秘事

That was going to be my moment.
现在一切都毁了
Now it's gone.
那是我的错吗
Is it my fault?
亲爱的 不 怎么会是你的错
Darling, no, why would it be your fault?
我当时让他吹气球给我
I wanted him to blow up the balloon.
你又不知道会发生这种事
Well, you weren't to know.
他的灵魂会升入天堂吗
Will his soul go to heaven?
会的
Yes.
会的 一定会的
Yes, it will.
我们要怎么处理这事
So, how are we going to do this?
作为中立人
Well, as a neutral,
我觉得最公平的办法就是大家平分
I'd say the only fair way is equal shares.
是啊 没错
Yeah, absolutely.
你1/3 我1/3 这家人1/3
Third for you, third for me, third for the family.
那听上去很公平
That sounds about right.
等等 你刚说"这家人分到1/3"是什么意思
Hang on a minute, what do you mean "A third for the family"?
那可是很多钱了啊
That's a lot of money.
没错 但我们可有3个人
Yeah, but there's three of us.
那你什么意思
So what are you saying?
应该平分成5份
Well, you should split it in fifths.
我 珍 塔美辛 你和莎莉
Me, Jan, Tamsin, you and Sally.
1/5 多年来我拿着低工资为他工作
A fifth. I worked for him all those years on shitty wages
最后却只能得到1/5吗
and all I get is a fifth?
但那才叫平分啊 不是吗 总共5个人呢
But that's equal shares, isn't it? It's five people.
不如我们都退一步 分成4份吧
How about we compromise and say quarters?
4份
Quarters?
-是的 每个人分到25% -那把谁排除在外了
- Yeah. each. - So who loses out?
没有谁 你和你妻子分到一半
Nobody. You and your wife get half, and
剩下的一半我和他平分
we split the other half between us.
是吗 那塔美辛怎么办
Yeah, and what about Tamsin?
-她未成年 -那又怎样
- She's underage. - So?
她只是个孩子
She's just a kid.
-她不该得到那么多钱 -那是她挣来的
- She shouldn't get that much money. - She's earned it.
怎么挣的 让他吹气球
What, by making him blow into a balloon
导致他动脉瘤爆裂而死吗
and giving him an aneurysm?
维克斯先生 恕我冒犯
Mr Vickers, with respect,
如果我们让塔美辛也分到1/5
if we give Tamsin an equal fifth, well,
那些钱很快就会归你所有 不是吗
that's going to revert back to you pretty quickly, isn't it?
什么
What?
我是说 你先别激动
I mean, without being emotional,
当她在疾病面前倒下时 你和你妻子就会
when the inevitable happens, you and your wife are going to be
坐拥3/5的钱 而你们只有两个人
sitting on three fifths between the two of you and
萨蒙和我觉得那不是很公平 不是吗
Simon and I don't think that's particularly fair, do we?
-等等 -放下来 放下来
- Now, just a minute... - Put it down. Put it down!
这个气球其实是属于我们的
This balloon actually belongs to us.
我们花钱买♥♥的 珍还保存着收据
We paid for it. Jan'll have the receipt somewhere,
你们两个给老子玩蛋去吧
so you two can just fuck off!
你说什么
I beg your pardon?
你们听到了 滚蛋吧
You heard me. Fuck off!
这是我的家 我的派对 我的气球
This is my house, my party and my balloon!
你邀请我们来的 维克斯先生
You invited us here, Mr Vickers.
帕森斯先生百忙之中抽时间前来
Mr Parsons gave up time from his busy schedule...
我他妈才不管呢
I don't give a shit!
他已经死了 我要你们都给我滚出去
He's dead now and I want him and you out of my house!
我们会走的 但你得先把属于我们的东西分给我们
We'll go, just as soon as you give us what's rightfully ours.
属于你们的东西
What's rightfully ours,
是说一包12个 售价1.99英镑的气球吗
you mean. Pack of 12, 1.99?
气球里面的东西可不是你的 不是吗
What's inside it isn't yours, is it?
气球皮是你的 但里面的气息不是你的
You own the skin but you don't own the air.
说得对啊
That's right.
那里面的气息不属于任何人
Nobody owns the air.
好吧
All right.
好啊 如果你们想要里面的气息
All right. Well, if you want the air,
-那就给你们吧 -别 别这样
- you can have it... - Stop, stop!
-是这个吗 你们是想要这个吗 -快放下来
- Isn't it?! Is this what you want?! - Put it down...
-是这个吗 -住手
- Is it?! - Stop it!
从沙发上下来 格兰姆
Get down off the sofa, Graham.
把气球交给塔美辛
Give the balloon to Tamsin.
今天是她的生日 那气球是属于她的
It's her birthday. It belongs to her.
-她是中立人 -我以为我才是中立人呢
- She's neutral. - I thought I was neutral.
你不再是了
Not any more, you're not.
你一下从中立国瑞士变成了纳粹德国
You went from Switzerland to Nazi Germany in one fell goose step.
给
Here.
一定要非常非常小心地对待 塔塔
Be very, very careful with it, Tam-Tam.
你不是一直想去迪斯尼乐园吗
You know you wanted to go Disney?
真正的迪斯尼 不是冒牌的那个
The proper one, not the froggy one?
把这想象成进去的门票吧
Well, imagine this is your ticket in.
没错 你的黄金门票
Yeah, your golden ticket.
别许下你无法兑现的承诺 格兰姆
Don't make promises you can't keep, Graham.
她受的罪已经够多的了
She's been through enough.
相信我
Trust me.
现在我们坐下 稍微吃个午饭
Now let's sit down, have a spot of lunch,
我们要像真正的成年人一样理智商讨这事
and we'll talk about this like adults.
你的工作成就感一定很高吧
Must be very rewarding, your job.
是的 我想确实是吧
Yes, yes, I suppose it is.
当你看到一个小男孩因为收到
When you see a little boy's face light up
球星约翰·泰利送来的签了名的
because John Terry's brought him
英格兰队球衣而高兴不已时
a signed England shirt, well,
那种成就感真是无价的
you can't put a price on that.
但是却可以给一个流行明星的最后一口气定价吗
But you can put a price on a pop star's last ever breath?
那只是瞎猜罢了
It's just a guesstimate.
稍微增加点收入嘛 明白吗
Something to put in the budget. You know?
你已经实现的最美好的梦想是什么
What's the best dream you've ever made come true?
我经常被人问到这个问题
I'm often asked that.
不得不说 我觉得这个问题很傻
I'd have to say - and it sounds silly, really -
但有个小女孩
but there was a little girl with...
好像是患了 霍奇金病
I think...Hodgkin's disease.
我不太懂疾病方面的事
I don't get involved with the illness side.
她的梦想是当个邮递员
And her dream was to be a postman.
英国粘土动画中的人物
仅此而已
That's all.
不是要给女王送信 也不是要见邮递员派特
Not give a letter to the Queen, or meet Postman Pat.
就想当个普通的邮递员
Just be a postman.
奈吉把这事扔给我
Nigel shunted it my way.
当然了 媒体也完全不感兴趣
Zero press interest there, of course.
但当我们把信交到她手上
But when we gave her that letter
让她帮忙投递时
and told her to put it through the letter box,
她完成之后就笑出来了
the little giggle after it landed.
说这对她来说比什么都重要
Said it meant the whole world to her.
说完就死在了台阶上
Then she dropped down dead right there on the doorstep.
媒体知道这事之后都疯了
Press went mad for it.
所以 去你的 奈吉
So, up yours, Nigel.
这是我最喜欢的一个故事
That was my favourite one.
弗布伊斯说他20分钟后
Mr Forboise said he'll be here in 20 minutes
-和验尸官还有救护车一起来 -好吧
- with the coroner and ambulance crew. - Ok.
他们不想引起注意 所以不开警铃
They'll be incognito, so they don't raise any alarm.
-说想让他走得有尊严一点 -当然了
- Said he wanted to do this with dignity. - Absolutely.
-你没告诉他... -没有没有
- You didn't tell him about... - Oh, no, no, no.
-我就装傻好了 -这样最好
- I'll just claim ignorance. - Yeah, probably best.
-他是个好老板吗 -谁 帕森斯先生吗
- Was he a good boss? - Who? Mr Parsons?
老实说 有点混♥蛋♥
Bit of a dick, to be honest.
我是说 他是个很有音乐才华的人
I mean, he knew how to work it and all that,
但我觉得他并不开心
but I don't think he was a happy man.
你真该听听
You should have heard the way
来的路上他是怎么抱怨的
he was bitching about having to come here.
-不会吧 -"看望生病小孩的事不该我做"
- No? - I shouldn't have to be around these sick kids.
"他们让我很压抑"
"They make me depressed."
太让人失望了
Oh, how disappointing!
别告诉珍好吗 她会很伤心的
Don't say anything to Jan, will you? She'd be mortified.
当然不会
No, no, no, of course not.
你瞧 这就是作为名人的坏处
You see, that's the trouble with being famous, isn't it?