爱情零距离（2013）

你没事吧
Aww, you okay?
我们干掉那些楼上的混♥蛋♥吧
Let's crush those upstairs douches.
凯文 凯文 凯文 凯文
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin!
凯文 莫耶先生 莫耶先生
Kevin! Mr. Moyer! Mr. Moyer!
漂亮
Game!
温先生
Mr. Wen!
他们叫他公车司机
They call him the bus driver
因为他刚载你去学校[给你点颜色瞧瞧]
because he just took you to school!
-棒小伙 -干得好
- Thataboy! - Great job.
顺便说一句 我之前在研究费用结构
By the way, I was looking at the fee structure,
我感觉很有机会...
and I feel like there's a real opportunity --
集中精力比赛 小凯 集中精力比赛
Head in the game, Kev-o. Head in the game.
接下来谁想挑战我们
Who wants us next, baby?
各位 实际上 我们走快点
Hey, guys. Actually, let's walk faster.
我觉得他们在等我们了
I think they're waiting for us.
我穿着这条短裤没法走很快
I can't walk much faster in these shorts.
你为什么要穿那条短裤
Why would you wear those?
这是我上次打篮球时穿的
It's from the last time I played.
七年级的球服 现在还能穿上呢
Seventh-grade uniform, and it still fits.
好吧 首先 你看起来好可爱
Okay, first, you look adorable.
其次 如果我要跟你比赛
Second, if I'm playing against you,
我可不会手下留情
I'm not gonna show you any mercy.
首先 你看起来也超级帅
First, you look super cute, too.
谢谢
Thank you.
其次 放马过来吧 碧池
Second, bring it on, bitch.
瞧瞧谁来看我比赛了
Well, look who came to watch me play.
实际上 我是来工作的
Actually, I came here to work
因为跟我现在的办公桌相比
because the stench of sweaty men and gym socks
出汗的人和运动棉袜的恶臭就像是蛋糕店一样香
smells like Cinnabon compared to my desk right now.
好了 谁想来争夺控球权
All right. Who wants to shoot for outs?
我来
I'll do it.
好了
All right.
我们先发球
Our ball.
-真厉害 -你说得太对了
- That's impressive. - You're damn right.
我差点赢得了大学奖学金
I almost got a college scholarship.
我并不奇怪
Well, I'm not surprised.
你让我想到了年轻版的丽莎·莱斯莉
You remind me of a -- a young Lisa Leslie.
那就是她的名字
That's her name!
你死定了
You are going down.
你的蛋蛋[音似你个疯子]
Uh, your nuts.
是啊 没错 我是个疯子
Yeah. Damn right. I'm crazy.
不 胡子男 我能看见你的睾丸
No, bearded one. I can see your testicles.
好了 好了 开始吧 废物们
All right, all right. Let's do this, suckers. Come on.
我现在真的想吻你
I really want to kiss you right now.
-不要 不要 -不 绝对不要
- Not going to. Not going to. - No. Absolutely do not.
传球 传球 传球
Pass! Pass! Pass!
干得好
Thataboy!
等等 暂停 暂停
Wait a minute! Wai-- ah, time-out! Time-out!
什么 3V3可没有暂停
What?! There's no time-outs in three-on-three.
什么 也没有抱怨啊
What? There's also no whining.
各位 我们需要策略
Okay, you guys. We need a strategy.
德里克 你能做什么
Derrick, what can you do?
我可以倒地
I can fall down.
很棒 让他们犯规 哈佛生 你有什么本领
Okay. Great. Draw some fouls. Harvard, what do you got?
非同寻常的愤怒
Unbridled rage.
现在 这坡跟平底女鞋让我更为愤怒
And right now, this wedgie is feeding it.
太棒了 利用这一点
Awesome. Use that.
我们要拿树人格鲁特怎么办
What are we gonna do about Groot?
我来搞定他
I'll take care of him.
曼斯菲尔德先生
Hey! Mr. Mansfield!
我很惊讶你觉得
I'm kind of surprised you feel okay
靠作弊来赢得比赛没关系
about having to cheat to win.
-你说什么 -好了 暂停
- I beg your pardon?! - Okay. Time-out.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我负责临时雇员的文书工作
I do the paperwork for the temps,
我觉得这有些意思
I just think it's kind of interesting
你雇佣了前NBA球员
that you hired someone to do data entry
来进行数据输入
that used to be an NBA player.
我辅修了商学
Hey! I minored in business.
顺便说一句 你的债券公开很危险...
By the way, your bond exposure is dangerously --
小凯 没人在乎 下场
Kev, no one cares. Ride the pine.
温先生 你上
Mr. Wen, you're in.
我不知道该怎么打篮球
I don't know how to play.
什么 你跟曼斯菲尔德先生说你很棒
What?! You told Mansfield you were great.
我说我很擅长"B"球
I said I was great at b-ball.
"B"是指布希球[鸡尾酒] 我只是一般啦
The "B" Stands for boccie, and I'm just okay.
莫耶先生
Mr. Moyer!
传球进去 我在禁区
Bring it in. Look for me down low.
-接球吧 -好
- Pick it up. - Mm-hmm.
犯规了
Ow! That was a foul!
犯规 你说什么呢
Foul?! What are you talking about?
我的比赛中可没有犯规
There's no fouls in my game.
詹妮 去给曼斯菲尔德先生
Jenny, go ahead and order an ambulance
订一辆救护车
for a one Mr. Mansfield.
我会把你的胡子
Oh, I will man-slap your beard
打回到生你的那座山上去
all the way back to the mountain that spawned you.
你简直是水泥做的
Oh, you are... made out of cement.
抱歉
Excuse me.
三连冠 居然敢侮辱女士
Whoo! Threepeat, insult for milady?
这一定不是周日 因为银行开门了[擦板投篮进了]
It must not be Sunday, 'cause the bank is open!
天啊
Oh, my god.
勇敢者的游戏
Jumanji!
-滚走吧 -天啊
- Get out of here! - Ohh, god, man!
防守曼斯菲尔德先生的人是谁
Who's that guy guarding Mr. Mansfield?
因为他算是个疯子
'Cause he's kind of a maniac.
我就知道 对吧
I know, right?
他穿着那条短裤
He is wearing those shorts.
我接不了 接不了
I'm not open. I'm not open.
犯规
Foul!
三连冠 吐槽
Threepeat, smack.
你们姑娘们一定很喜欢肯德基
Your girl must love KFC,
因为她刚买♥♥了全家桶[投篮进了]
'cause she just got a bucket.
-我们是同一队的 哥们 -我错了 哥们
- We're on the same team, man. - My bad, dude.
莫耶先生 这里 我没人防守
Mr. Moyer! Here! I'm open!
才怪
Like hell you are!
10比10 谁进了下一个球谁就赢了
Yes, 10-all. Next point wins.
好吧 传球 不暂停 开始吧
All right. Ball in. No check. Let's do this.
我不会让你得分的
I'm not gonna let you score.
你没法阻止我 好吗
Well, you're not gonna be able to stop me, okay?
这就是让我成名的动作
This is the move that made me famous.
好棒 砸你一... 膝盖
Oh, yeah! In your -- knee.
你到底在干什么 莫耶
What in the hell are you doing, Moyer?!
那可是你女朋友
That's your girlfriend.
比赛真不错
Hey, great game out there.
那不是我发明的
Well, I didn't invent it.
我只是使之完美了
I, uh, just perfected it.
等等
Hold up. Okay.
你知道俗话说得好 海里的鱼有很多吧
You know how they say there's a lot of fish in the sea?
那可不适用于你 好吗
Well, that's not true for you, okay?
你是古怪池塘里的孤单水母
You're a lone jellyfish in a weird-ass pond.
你很走运 另一只水母误打误撞来了
Luckily for you, another jellyfish stumbled in there.
不要无视那只水母
Do not ignore that jellyfish.
首先 水母不是真正的鱼
Okay, first of all, jellyfish aren't real fish.
你居然觉得它们能出现在
And the idea that they would be found
淡水中 那真是太搞笑了
in freshwater is comical.
瞧瞧 现在你俩互相聊那些疯话吧
See, now talk that crazy shit with each other.
你喜欢看我比赛吗
So, you liked watching me play out there?
是啊 你展示了很大的勇气[蛋蛋]
Yeah. You showed a lot of balls.
对此我很抱歉
Sorry about that.
不 我是说你无所畏惧
No, I mean that you're fearless.