消消气（2000）

Maybe we'll try again next year.
也许明年再试一次吧
Yeah.
好啊
F**kin' Albert.
－该死的艾伯特
－可不是嘛
- Oh, I know, right?
- Let's get out of here.
－走吧
－好
Yeah. Oh, wait, babe,
I left my coat outside.
等一下，我把外套忘在外面
Oh, oh, okay. Okay, okay.
好‥
可恶
F**k.
Oh, shit.
糟糕
I'm done with her, man.
我和她没戏唱了
Once you do that shit,
you can't go back.
一旦看见就回不去
不可能删除记忆
You can't unsee that shit.
也没办法另眼看她了
You can't think of the person
any other way.
I'm sure Lucy Liu felt the same way.
刘玉玲肯定也是这种感觉
Even in the f**king animal world
拿动物来说好了
when pigeons fly
into a motherf**king glass
撞到玻璃或办公大楼的鸽子
motherf**king office buildings
and shit
they're ostracized
from the other pigeons and shit.
牠们也会被群体排挤
You see a whole school
of these motherf**kers.
当你看见一群飞禽
Whether it's pigeons or geese
or whatever.
不管是鸽子，雁或什麽的在飞
They f**kin' flyin'.
And it's one motherf**ker back there.
却有一隻飞在后头，为什麽？
Know why?
'Cause that goofy motherf**ker ran
因为那隻蠢蛋上週撞到大楼
into a goddamn building last week
and they don't f**k with him no more.
没半隻想跟牠混了
That's why Mary Ferguson had to go.
所以玛丽佛格森得走人
But what are you gonna do?
You paid for the plane ticket.
那你怎麽办？
机票都买♥♥了
It's got Mary Ferguson's name on it.
It's non-refundable.
上面印有玛丽佛格森，无法退票
What are you gonna do? Eat it?
－怎麽办，吃掉吗？
－不是
No, I'mma find me
another Mary Ferguson.
我会找另一位玛丽佛格森
What are you talking about?
你在说什麽？
I'm gonna put an ad out.
I'm gonna get 'em all here.
我会刊广♥告♥，把人全叫来这裡
I'm gonna audition
a bunch of Mary Fergusons.
然后面试一堆玛丽佛格森
Find the one I like,
take her ass to Asia.
找到我喜欢的，就带她去亚州
What random Mary Ferguson
is gonna go to Asia
哪个玛丽佛格森
会随便跟可能有反♥社♥会♥人格的
陌生人去亚洲？
with some stranger
who's probably a sociopath?
You're forgettin'
one key thing here. "Free."
你忘了一个重点，＂免费＂
Who wouldn't wanna go
to Asia for free?
谁不想免费去亚洲？
They'll take that chance
waking up dead
我保证就算冒生命危险
也有人想免费游亚洲
for a free trip to Asia.
I promise you.
I think you might have something.
说不定真能成功
Okay. I'm gonna take me
a little dip in the pool.
好了，我要去游个泳
There was a dead body in there just
a couple days ago, just so you know.
提醒你，池裡两天前有具死尸
Ain't in there now.
现在没有了
＂兹维贝＂
Oh, yeah, Susie. Boy,
you popped this right out of there.
没错，苏西，有颗鑽石掉了
- How'd you do that?
- Oh, Larry. You know Larry.
你怎麽会搞丢呢？
都是赖瑞，你认识他吧？
- Yeah, I'm not a fan.
- Yeah, well, he plopped
认识，但不欣赏他
他弹坐到沙发上害手镯飞起来
and then it went flying in the air.
And then it came out
and I couldn't find the stone.
鑽石因此掉落就找不到了
But then I remembered you gave me
a lifetime guarantee, so here I am.
但后来我想起你提供终身保固
所以我就来了
－什麽，终身‥？
－终身保固
- A what? A lifetime...
- A lifetime guarantee, Dennis.
丹尼斯，你不记得了吗？
You don't remember?
I mean, Susie,
I don't have to remember.
苏西，我不必记得
因为我们从不提供终身保固
We don't... We've never given
lifetime guarantees.
但你跟我说过的
Well, you gave me one.
No, Susie,
I never said that. That's...
苏西，我不曾说过
丹尼斯，你说过
Well, yes, you did, Dennis.
－怎麽会呢，我不会这麽说
－我哪知道？
I didn't... Why would I say that?
I don't know why. Maybe because I buy
so much f**kin' jewelry here.
可能我是你的大客户
我很感激，但很抱歉
我完全没印象保固的事
Right, and we appreciate that.
But Susie, I'm sorry.
I just have no memory of that.
你听清楚了，失智小子
Let me tell you something,
"Dementia boy."
You gave me a lifetime guarantee
你给过我终身保固
and I don't care if you don't
remember your dog's f**king name.
我不管你记不记得你家狗的名字
你要修好我的手镯
而且不收一毛钱
You're gonna fix this
and it's not gonna cost me
a goddamn thing, you hear me,
Zweibel? You got it?
明白吗，兹维贝？
- Got it.
- I'll be back Friday.
－明白
－我週五再来
＂试镜签到表＂
＂赖瑞青春时代＂
＂玛丽
佛格森＂
Mary Ferguson. Oh, oh, my bad.
玛丽佛格森
不好意思
- How about you? You come on inside?
- Oh, me?
－你好了，进来吧
－我吗？
- Hi, guys.
- Hey.
－大家好
－你好
This is Bretty Rider, Larry David.
布芮蒂莱德，见过赖瑞大卫
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
－幸会
－幸会
我一直热爱旅游
I've always loved traveling
而且渴望去亚洲好多年了
and I've been dying
to go to Asia for years.
Would you have a problem
faking a disability
你有办法假扮残疾人士
just so we can get in the wheelchairs
就能坐轮椅
让人推著过机场吗？
and they could push our ass
through the airport?
I don't think I would like that.
我应该没办法
我要你吃这颗丸子
I want you to eat this matzo ball,
come on.
－快吃吧‥
－别逼我吃丸子
- Come on. Push it.
- Don't put the matzo ball on me!
要吃你自己吃
Eat the whole matzo ball! Eat it!
- That was great. That was fantastic.
- Oh, thank you, guys.
－很好，演得很棒
－谢谢
- You guys have a great day.
- Good job.
－祝你们今日愉快，再见
－做得好，再见
- Bye.
- Bye.
- She's f**king hilarious.
- Wow.
她超好笑
Yeah, well, yeah, let's see who else.
对，但再看看还有谁吧
好‥
Okay.
Next!
下一位
Bye.
再见
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
－谢谢‥
－谢谢
Mary Ferguson five, thank you.
玛丽佛格森五号♥，谢谢
Okay. Next.
好了，下一位
- No.
- Nah...
不行‥
- Very good. Thanks a lot.
- She's amazing.