背锅船长（2023）

‎目的是促进世界和平 遏制全球变暖
to promote peace on earth and to stop global warming.
‎如果您不想参与…
If you don't want to participate,
‎我们建议您站近点 精神上参与一下
we urge you to stand close and participate in spirit.
‎请务必前往
We have to insist.
‎我们有尽情抛媚眼政策
And we have an ogle-all-you-want policy.
‎您可以肆意抛媚眼‎因为这是一项神圣的事业
You're allowed to ogle shamelessly because the cause is so noble.
‎比我们任何一个人都要崇高‎谢谢大家
This is bigger than you or me. Thank you.
‎站近点 别害羞
Come on closer. Now don't be shy.
‎大家都就位了 行动开始
Everyone is in place. Commence operation.
‎收到
Copy that.
‎大家早上好 很高兴见到各位！
Good morning, everyone. I am so glad to see you all here.
‎放轻松 听从我的指示
Just relax and follow my every instruction,
‎你们将获得极大的活力和内心的平静
and you will find yourself completely rejuvenated and peaceful.
‎我们开始吧
Okay, let's get started.
‎（所有乘客已就位）
‎时间到 准备待命
It's go time. Stand by.
‎所有人躺下来 呼吸 好吗？深呼吸
Everybody lie down on your backs and breathe, okay? Deep, deep breaths.
‎闭上眼睛 所有人一起
And close your eyes. Everyone now.
‎深呼吸
Deep, deep breaths.
‎吸气 呼气 吸气…
In, out, in…
‎释放气体吧
And… release the gas.
‎呼气
Out.
‎糟糕 抱歉 我的错
Oh, crap. Sorry. My bad.
‎这是小意外 有点不专业
That was a little unfortunate. A little unprofessional.
‎（伊丽莎白号♥）
‎你就是负责人？是个女的？
You are the one in charge? A female?
Mm-hmm.
‎弗尔船长不舒服 但他向你问好
Captain Fall isn't feeling well, but he sends his regards.
‎好吧
Oh. Okay.
‎度过漫长且快乐的一生‎祝好 弗尔船长” 给你
in your human zoo. All the best, Captain Fall." Here.
‎很好 太激动人心了
Good. So, this is so exciting, eh?
‎我太太非常期待这个惊喜
You know, my wife is looking so much forward to the surprise.
‎我真心认为‎这会把我的理念提升到一个新高度
I… really think it will take my whole concept to a new level.
‎成为我园的又一大亮点
A great addition to my park.
‎先给钱
Mm. Money first.
‎是的 当然
Yes, yes, of course. Hey.
Money.
Wow.
Magtag!
‎他们真漂亮
They are beautiful.
‎如此纯净
So pure.
‎扬 最好不要让他们感染
Jan, it would be a good idea not to expose them
‎我们的各种细菌 好吧？
to any of our germs. Okay?
‎他们从来没接触过其他人类之类的
You know, them never having had contact with other humans and so on and so forth.
‎当然
Yes, yes, yes, of course.
‎慢慢欣赏吧
Enjoy.
‎毒气停止倒计时 三 二 一
Gas effect ceases in three, two, one.
‎就是这样
That's it.
‎好了 大家回归有意识的自我吧
Now come back to your conscious self.
‎大口呼吸 让身体灌满纯氧
Humongous breaths now to fill you with pure oxygen.
‎有些人刚才应该睡着了
I think some of you fell asleep there for a little while.
‎没什么好丢脸的
Nothing to be embarrassed about.
‎好 再来两次 吸气 呼气
Okay, two more times. In and out. -Ah!
‎慢慢坐起来 把头低下
Slowly sit up. Let's bow our heads.
‎我的内心之光致敬各位的内心之光
The light in me honors the light in you.
‎双手合十 谢谢大家
Namaste.
‎-身体很柔软 真是很放松‎-你喜欢就好
So limber. That was incredibly relaxing. -Glad you enjoyed it.
‎天啊 我的鼻子
Ah. Oh, my nose.
‎我的下巴感觉像被卡车撞了
And my chin feels like I was hit by a truck.
‎一辆迷你卡车 但是…
A very tiny truck, but…
‎我猜你睡着时摔倒了
I guess you fell over when you fell asleep.
‎常有的事
Happens all the time. -Ha-oh.
‎是啊 听着 我想聊一下…
Yeah, listen. I just wanted to touch base on, uh…
‎那天发生的事
you know, the thing that happened the other day.
‎-哪件事？‎-你知道的 那个…射♥精♥的事
Which thing? -You know, the… ejaculation thing.
‎哦 那件事呀
Oh. That.
‎我还是像以前一样尊重你
‎对 当然
Yeah. Sure, of course.
‎是的 而且整段体验让我感到很愉快
Yeah, and I am… I am mellow about the whole experience.
‎没什么大不了
No biggie.
‎当然了 没什么大不了
Of course, yeah. No biggie.
‎没错 我们就坦然面对吧
Yeah, let's just treat it like what it was.
‎两位你情我愿的成年人‎从对方身上吸取…性能量
Two consenting adults feeding off each other's… sexual energy?
‎没错
Yup.
‎这次我高♥潮♥了 下次可能是你
And this time I climax, next time it could be you.
‎这种事情应该是很随机的
Those things are supposedly pretty random.
Mm-hmm.
‎嘿 我得走了 回见 船长
Hey, um, I've gotta run, but I'll see you around, Captain.
‎当然 是的 如果你还想再试一次
Sure. Yes. I… I will be around,
‎或者尝试类似的体验 我随时都在
uh, if you wanted to experience that again,
‎我们可以再来一次
or something in that nature… We can circle back on it.
‎哦…我要做什么来着？
Oh… What was I going to do?
‎对了 做这个
Oh yeah, this thing.
‎（范德瑞特动物园）
‎大家好 喂喂 测试
Hello, toot-toot, testing.
Testing.
‎亲爱的朋友们 家人们‎亲爱的伊丽莎白
Dear friends, dear family, dear Elizabeth.
‎如你们所知 因为伊丽莎白心地善良‎才会有这处人类动物园
As you may know, this human zoo was built because of Elizabeth's big heart.
‎她非常关心别人 钟情异域
She cares so much for people. She is a true xenophile
‎对外国人的文化和习俗‎有强烈的兴趣和关注
with so much interest and care for foreign people's cultures and customs,
‎大家给她一些热烈的掌声吧
so give her a warm round of applause.
-Oh!
‎谢谢你 扬 谢谢
Thank you, Jan. Thank you.
‎我想为她献上一份前所未有的礼物
I wanted to buy her a gift unlike anything she had before.
‎我们的收藏中最昂贵稀有的珍宝
The most expensive and rare gem in our collection.
‎我将为大家呈现‎来自亚马逊雨林最深处
Now let me introduce to you, from the depths of the Amazon rainforest,
‎未接触过人类‎彻底与世隔绝了数千年
untouched by humans, they have lived in total isolation for thousands of years.
‎几近灭绝的贾瓦鲁纳部落！
They are among the last of their kind. Meet the Javaruna Tribe!
‎什么？
What? -Oh!
‎什么？不！
What? No!
‎疾病！
Disease!
‎他们带来了瘟疫 瘟疫来了
They brought the plague! The plague is upon us!
‎他们想杀掉我们！大家快离开这里！
They're trying to kill us! Everybody get out of here!
‎这是怎么回事 扬？‎真丢人！太丢人了！
What the hell is this, Jan? A disgrace! It's an utter disgrace!
‎对不起 他们提过免疫系统很弱的事
I'm sorry. They said something about the bad immune systems.
‎我不知道
I don't know.
‎白♥痴♥！你买♥♥了一批烂货
Idiot! You bought damaged merchandise.
‎这哪是惊喜 简直是惊吓 我们被耍了
This surprise sucks swollen balls, and we have been made fools of.
‎让开！
Get out of my way! -Oh!
‎（释放囚犯 不得按压）
‎实施计划！
Implement the plan!
Oh, ah.
-Whoo!
-Americans are fucking free! -Woo-hoo!
USA! USA! Fuckin'…
‎我要回家了 宝贝！
I'm coming home, baby!
Run, Johannes! Run like the wind!
This way!
‎把他们围住 都抓起来！
Round them up! Capture everyone!
Oh!
‎把武装部队找来！我要报仇！
Get the militia now! I will revenge this!
‎没人敢耍扬昂特卡特范德瑞特！
No one makes a fool of Jan Onthercaart von der Recht!
‎抱歉 老板 你刚才说话了吗？‎警报声音太大了
Sorry, did you say something, boss? The alarm.
‎我说现在把武装部队找来
I said get the militia now.
‎我要报仇 没人敢耍‎扬昂特卡特范德瑞特！
I will revenge this. No one makes a fool of Jan Onthercaart von der Recht!
‎把武装部队找来？
Get the militia?
‎是的 你这个笨蛋
Yes, you…
‎那个弗尔船长死定了！
That Captain Fall is going down!
‎-我不行了 吉姆‎-别停下 伙计
I can't do this, Jim. -Just keep going, buddy.
‎我的身板受不了这种运动量
This engine ain't built for exercise.
‎加油 布巴 你可以的‎我们最好赶快动身 起来吧
Come on, Bubba. You can do this. Now we gotta haul ass. Come on.
‎这样跑比世上任何一间监狱都糟糕
No prison in the world is worse than running like this.
‎不要龟缩 布巴
Don't you turtle up on me now, Bubba.
‎抱歉 吉姆 我要龟缩在这里听天由命
Sorry, Jim. I'm turtling up and hoping for the best.
‎别这样 布巴 我们是一条船上的
Don't do this, Bubba. We're in this together.
‎如果你要龟缩 那我就跟你一起
If you're turtling, shit, I'm turtling.
‎真棒啊 刚才跑得我精疲力竭
Ah, this is so nice.
That sprint took everything I had in me.
‎是啊 挺好的 不知道晚餐吃什么
Yeah. It's pretty nice. I wonder what's for dinner.
‎我要揭发这个可怕的地方‎哪怕这是我做的最后一件事
I will expose this horrible place,