剧集 | 背锅船长(2023) | 导航列表
Ha, yes, that's it, isn't it, Jonathan?
这并不丢人 人们经常混淆词语的
No shame in that. People mix up words all the time.
-当然-他就是一个白♥痴♥
Of course. -He's an idiot.
Hmm.
好吧 帮帮我 让我搞搞清楚
Okay, so, back up. Let me get this straight.
这是《风月俏佳人》的剧情 是吧?
This is a Pretty Woman thing, right?
-他花钱雇你的?-不是
You're an escort? -No.
我去 坦纳对不起 我说脏话了 抱歉
Dog garn it, Tanner. I'm sorry for swearing. I'm sorry.
我跟你们说过无数遍了丽莎是我的女友
I… I told you guys a hundred times now. Liza is my girlfriend.
为什么如此难以接受?
Why is that so hard to process?
-当然了 亲爱的 我们明白的-是啊
Of course, sweetie. We understand. -Yeah.
-我们懂的-我们懂的
We get it. -We get it.
我们很潮的
We are hip.
我们知道 现在的男女约会
We know the dating scene is completely different
跟我们年轻时完全不同了
from when we were young.
是的 现在都是用交友软件发送老二的照片
Yes. Now it's all about apps, and sending penis pics,
在商场后面用电♥话♥卡交换性♥爱♥什么的
and trading phone cards for sex behind the mall and all that.
-我觉得不是这样的-是的
Mm, not really, I think. -It is.
天知道 你父亲也经历过这种阶段
God knows your father has gone through a phase
就像你现在经历的一样
just like you're experiencing right now.
还记得那次你救下那个妓♥女♥吗 布莱克?
Oh! Remember that time you were "saving" that prostitute, Blake?
-啊?记得吗?-是啊
Oh, remember that? Ha! -Yeah.
太好笑了
That was priceless.
是啊 花了我一大笔钱结果她还是更喜欢以前的生活
Yeah. Cost me a fortune, and in the end, she preferred her old life.
她还在高速公路下面卖♥♥身呢
She's actually still turning tricks under the freeway.
但是回首往事
But when I look back at it,
我们的关系从一开始就注定了
what we had was doomed from the beginning.
我的第一个错误就是相信了她的皮条客
My first mistake was trusting her pimp.
太可恶了 他们当然是相爱关系了
Ah, so mischievous. Of course they were in love.
我拼命想重新赢得她的好感
I tried like hell to get back into her good graces,
但这是一段被毁掉的美好爱情故事
but it was a beautiful love story that was ruined.
我被整件事弄得心灰意冷到现在还很生气
I was gutted by the whole goddamn thing, and I'm still pretty pissed off about it.
-天啊 太伤心了-你又在自言自语了 布莱克
For Christ's sake. It's heartbreaking. -Now you're rambling, Blake.
但你的观点是成立的有其父必有其子
But the point stands. Like father, like son.
好了 各位 我要打断你们了
Okay, guys, I am going to stop you right there.
我不是乔纳森想要拯救的妓♥女♥
I am not a prostitute that Jonathan is trying to save.
-当然了!无意冒犯 丽莎-没有的
No, of course! No offense, Liza. -No.
我只是提醒我儿子!一朝被蛇咬 十年怕井绳 你懂吗?
I'm just looking out for my son! But once bitten, twice shy, you know?
我是加勒比海女王号♥的船员
I am an officer on the Caribbean Queen,
我非常爱你们的儿子
and I am very much in love with your son.
他是我见过的最可爱的人
He is the sweetest person I've ever met.
是人工智能吧?一定是的
AI. It's AI, right? Mm? It has to be.
你不是真人你就像一个高级版的真人娃娃
You are not a real person. You're like an advanced RealDoll
因为说实话…我能说吗?
because, honestly… Can I say it?
乔纳森很讨人厌 人人都知道
Jonathan is unlovable, and everyone knows that.
闭嘴 坦纳!并不是人人都知道的 快别说了!
Stop it, Tanner! Not everyone knows that. Shoo now!
-回你的小屋吧!-坦纳!快走!
Go to your hut! Away! -Tanner! Go!
-快走吧!-去!走吧!
Now go on! Get! -Shoo! Go!
听你妈妈的话!蠢货!
Listen to your mother! Get!
谢谢你 康苏拉 看起来非常清爽
Thank you, Consuela. It looks fantastically refreshing.
干杯!
Cheers!
你父亲和我感到非常骄傲
Your father and I are so proud of you.
Mm.
-真的吗?但我们刚吃过午饭-别太在意细节
Really? But we just had lunch.
Don't get too caught up in the details, Jonathan.
好啊!听起来不错 你要去吗 丽莎?
Okay! That sounds great. You up for that, Liza?
我在这里收拾行李休息一下吧 你们玩得开心点
I think I'll just unpack and relax here, and you guys, you go have a great time.
Oh, um…
我不需要你说的空间
I… I don't need that, uh… space you were talking about or… or anything.
其实恰恰相反
Quite the opposite.
不了 你们去吧
No, no. You just go ahead.
请带乔纳森的可爱女性朋友去客房♥
Please show Jonathan's lovely female friend to the guest room.
好吧 我去梳洗一下 换身衣服
Okay, maybe I'll just freshen up and get changed.
-不-不
No, no, no. -No.
穿着制♥服♥吧 你带工作证了吗?
Wear that uniform. Do you have an ID with you?
是的
Uh… Yes.
很好 一定也要带上
Great! Great. Be sure to bring that as well.
如果你有盖章的劳动合同也记得一定带上
And if you have a stamped labor contract, be sure to bring that along too.
说得好 宝贝
Good call, sweetheart.
好棒呀 真正的家庭旅行 这是第一次
Wow, this is so nice. A real family trip. That's a… a first.
别傻了 乔纳森 宝贝
Don't be foolish, Jonathan, baby.
我们经常去家庭旅行呢
We've been on tons of family trips.
大峡谷 阿斯蓬 夏威夷 哥斯达黎加
Oh, Grand Canyon, Aspen, Hawaii, Costa Rica,
印度 泰国 各处都去过
India, Thailand. Well, all over.
是带坦纳去的我从没去过 是你们仨一起去的
Yeah, with Tanner. I never went. It was the three of you.
你不记得了吗?
Oh, but don't you remember?
有太多行李了车里没法同时坐下你们俩人
We didn't have room for both of you in the car with luggage and everything.
但你们都是坐飞机去的
But… But you… You flew to all those places.
是啊 但你听说过一家人走着去机场吗?
Yes, but have you ever heard of families walking to the airport, son?
没有 但这是我的第一次家庭旅行我就是这意思
No, no. But this is my first family trip. That… That was my point.
-这不是重点啦-一点也不重要
And that's not really a point. -Not a point.
因为你在精神上一直与我们同在
Because you were always with us in spirit.
这才是最重要的 亲情最重要
Mm-hmm. -And that is what's important.
It is the thought that counts.
对
Yeah.
Oh.
你吓到我了 有什么事吗?
You scared me. Can I help you?
也许吧
Maybe. Maybe.
天啊 你真是经典的美女
God. You are such a classic beauty.
以你的长相 可以轻松登上色情杂♥志♥
With your looks, you could easily be in a porn mag.
好吧
Okay.
也许是《私体》杂♥志♥你可以做私体女郎
Mmm… Private magazine probably. You could be a Private girl.
谢谢哦 你到底有什么事?
Thank you, I guess, um, but what do you want?
我无法离开你就像是磁铁吸引着我的象鼻
Well, I couldn't stay away. You're like a magnet for my trunk.
你的象鼻?
Your trunk? -Mm-hmm.
我把我的老二叫做“象鼻”因为大象的鼻子又粗又长
I call my penis "the trunk" because elephants have trunks,
这是一种类比或隐喻
so it's an analogy or a metaphor.
好吧 所以你的老二有象鼻的形状?
Oh. Oh, okay. So your cock has the shape of an elephant's trunk?
你能用它抓住树枝或捡起花生吗?
You can clutch branches and pick up peanuts with it?
厉害了
Well, good for you.
不行 做不到 我指的是尺寸
No, no, no. I can't do that. I'm referring to the size.
看起来不像我没看到下面有一条1.8米的老二
Mm, doesn't look like it. I don't see a six-foot penis under there.
你不想来看看吗?
Oh, wouldn't you like to find out?
你看起来像是一个能听直话的小妞
because you look like a chick that can handle it.
-好吧-别误会
Okay. -Don't take this the wrong way.
乔纳森是好人我也盼着他能幸福 真的
Jonathan is a nice guy and all that, and I want the best for him. I really do.
但是呢?
But?
但是你应该马上甩掉他赶紧跟我搞在一起
But you should ditch him right away, and we should hook up immediately.
长痛不如短痛 把他踢一边
Just rip off the Band-Aid and kick him to the curb.
-为什么?-看着我 宝贝
And why is that? -Just look at me, babe.
我讨厌自己说这些 但我很性感
I hate that I have to say this myself, but I'm hot as fuck!
我能给你的远比他多
And I have so much more to offer you than he has.
多得多
So much more.
真的吗?比如什么呢 坦纳?
Really? Like what, Tanner?
好吧 首先是超过平均水平的老二
Okay, uh, well, for starters, um… a cock that's on the north end of average.
超过平均水平?
It's above average?
是啊 也许吧 只要用正确的测量方法
Yeah, probably, with the right measuring technique,
而且我的老二非常光滑漂亮
and it's real smooth and beautiful too.
好吧
在乔纳森回家之前
And what I would like to do before Jonathan comes home
我想做的是给你演示一下…
is give you a sample of…
-Whoa!
(大坦纳)
很好 你醒了
Good. You're awake.
我想告诉你我刚收到乔纳森发来的短♥信♥
I just wanted to let you know that I just got a text from Jonathan,
他大概两小时后回来
and he'll be back in approximately two hours.
我觉得时间足够我把你肢解
I think that gives me enough time to have you parted, wrapped up,
打包好 把你的四肢装进手提箱
and get all your limbs into this suitcase,
还有足够的时间洗个澡 嘿?
and still have enough time for a shower. Hey?
你知道吗?用这根钻头
Do you know that with this bit,
我可以钻穿你的眼窝 直达顶叶
I can drill through your eye socket and into the parietal lobe?
一直钻到你的后脑勺
All the way in the top back of your brain.
Mmm.
但既然你对乔纳森还有点价值
But since you may have some value to Jonathan,
我就给你一个选择
I'll give you a choice.
也许可以让你逃过这一切 坦纳
剧集 | 背锅船长(2023) | 导航列表