背锅船长（2023）

‎把平头螺丝刀给我 谢谢
Flat screwdriver, please. -Roger.
‎收到
‎谢谢 这种工具真不错
Thanks. Wow, this is one nice tool.
‎我就喜欢这样的螺丝刀‎平整顺手 戴着手套也能用
Just as I like my screwdrivers, nice and flat, sits good in the glove.
‎是的 当然
Yeah, sure.
‎再把那根超大号♥的撬棍给我 谢谢
And the jumbo size crowbar, please.
‎哇 真长啊 有两米多长呢
Wow, that is truly huge. Over seven feet long.
‎我想很少有人‎见过这么长的撬棍 不过…
I guess few have seen such a huge crowbar before, but, uh…
‎这就是我们在太空中使用的尺寸
that's the size we use here in space.
‎尺寸的确不小 是的‎但集中精神抓住它吧
It's a decent size, yes, uh, but concentrate on grabbing it.
‎-别说那么多话‎-糟糕
Don't talk so much. -Oops.
‎可恶
Dammit.
‎天啊 我没抓住 工具丢失‎重复一遍 我们的工具丢失了 真该死
Oh man, I didn't get that. Tool lost. I repeat. We lost a tool. Goddamn it.
‎干得漂亮
Great job.
‎现在撬棍会绕轨道运行两年半‎然后冲进地球大气层
Now it'll orbit for two and a half years before entering Earth's atmosphere.
‎过段时间 地面的人可要小心了
Heads up down there. In a while.
‎抱歉 伙计 这都是我的错
Sorry, fellas. That was my bad.
‎当然 这还用说嘛
Yeah, obviously.
‎（坦桑尼亚 两年半后）
‎喂！
Hey!
‎-嘿 玛玛杜！‎-嗨 玛玛杜！
Hey, Mamadou! -Hi, Mamadou!
‎哇 看看你们呀
Wow. Look at you guys.
‎你们都戴着类似的项链 恭喜呀
You got yourself similar necklaces. Congrats.
‎但那些假手指是怎么回事？
But what's the deal with those fake fingers?
‎手指都是真的 这些是白化护身符
Oh, they are real. These are albino charms.
‎实际上花了一大笔钱呢
Actually cost a fortune.
‎什么？你们买♥♥那些‎可怕的巫术垃圾了吗？
What? You have actually bought that horrible witchcraft crap?
‎是啊 权衡利弊了好一阵呢
Yeah. Been weighing the pros and cons for a while,
‎但我们最终还是决定买♥♥了‎能带来好运呢
but we finally decided to go for it. They're for good luck.
‎能带来好运？你的书都白读了
For good luck? You have a master's degree, for Christ's sake.
‎你可是科学家！是学者啊！
You are a man of science! A scholar!
‎那又怎样？天地间有许多事情
So what? There are more things in Heaven and Earth
‎是你的哲思无法解释的
than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Mamadou.
‎但为什么白化病患者的手指‎会给你带来好运呢？
But why would an albino finger bring you luck? Huh?
‎真是可怕又迷信
That is just gruesome and superstitious.
‎至少我敢做一点政♥治♥上不正确的事
Well, at least I dared to be a little politically incorrect
‎而不是一直任大多数人的想法
instead of just going with what the majority seems to think
‎左右自己的行为
at all times.
‎是啊 活得轻松点吧 玛玛杜‎不要做装在套子里的人
Yeah. Live a little, Mamadou. You're walking around with blinders.
‎况且如果真有用呢 玛玛杜？
Uh-uh-uh, and what if it actually works, Mamadou, eh?
‎如果能给我带来好运‎也许能让我找到我的灵魂伴侣呢？
What if it gives me the luck to maybe find my soulmate
‎或者以某种炫酷的方式暴富
or get filthy rich in some cool, random way?
‎你想剥夺我变好的权利吗？不是吧？
Do you want to take that away from me? Really?
‎继续生活在黑暗时代吧‎伙计们 忘记进步和科学吧
Keep living in the Dark Ages, guys. Ah, forget about progress and science.
‎好样的
Great job.
‎人们信仰不同 这点你应该接受
You should just embrace that people believe in different things.
‎这叫做宗教自♥由♥
It's called freedom of religion.
‎是的 你知道苏格拉底说过什么吗？
Yes. And you know what Socrates said?
‎我唯一知道的是我一无所知
The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.
‎说得太对了
Mm, that is actually true.
‎是的 没错
Yes, exactly.
‎所以也许我们是对的‎而你是错的 玛玛杜 谁知道呢？
So maybe we are right and you are wrong, Mamadou. Who knows?
‎你就不能试一次吗 玛玛杜？
Can't you just try it on, Mamadou?
‎就一分钟‎看看会不会有什么幸运的事发生
Just for one minute, and we'll see if something lucky happens, huh?
‎是啊 就当玩了‎来吧 把我的给你戴上
Yeah, just for fun. Here, have mine.
‎这太蠢了
‎来吧 最坏还能怎么样呢？
Come on. What's the worst thing that could happen, eh?
‎看看你的运气会有变化吗？
That you get equal luck as you already have?
‎当心！我不想让那根死人手指碰到我
Careful! I don't want that dead finger touching me.
‎玛玛杜 过来吧 我们看看吧 给你
Mamadou, come here. Let's see, here.
‎现在 感觉到幸运了吗？
Now, feeling lucky yet?
‎什么鬼…
What the…
‎天啊 他死了 不是吧
Ah! -Oh my God, he's dead. Oh no, no, no.
Oh. Oh my God.
‎我的天啊
Oh my God. -Ahh.
Oh!
‎片名：背锅船长
‎（加勒比海女王）
‎-早上好‎-嗨！
Good morning. -Hi!
‎船长？船长！
Captain? Oh, Captain!
‎嗨 你可能很忙‎但我能打扰你一下吗？
Hi, you're probably very busy, but may I bother you for a second?
‎当然 女士 有什么事吗？
Sure, ma'am. What can I do you for?
‎只是想跟船上最帅的男人合影啦
Just a photo with the most handsome man on board.
‎-如果这要求不过分的话‎-好的 他是谁？我能帮你找到他吗？
If that's not too much to ask. -Okay, who is he? Can I find him for you?
‎他真搞笑 就是你啦 傻瓜！
He's hilarious. It's you, silly!
‎我吗？
Me?
‎什么？你是认真的吗？
What? Are you… Are you being serious now?
‎是的
Yeah.
‎当然了
Of course.
‎你懂的 我并不值得关注
you know, so… something to, uh, rest your eyes on.
‎但你懂的…合影没问题
But, you know, sure. Sure thing. Yeah. -Okay.
‎-是的 我很荣幸‎-好呢
Happy to. -Um…
‎说“茄子”
Say cheese.
‎-“茄子”！‎-“茄子”！
Cheese!
‎是的
Yes. Mm-hmm.
‎是的 不是 当然‎泰伦特先生 东西很稀有 需求量很大
Yes, no, of course, Mr. Tyrant. They are rare. They are in demand,
‎每根手指的价格‎都是天文数字 我注意到了
and the price per finger is astronomical, I see that,
‎但会不会还是有点…
but isn't this still a bit--
‎我们将提供这项服务
We will provide this service.
‎我们不能让个人道德影响我们的判断
We cannot let personal morality clutter our judgment.
‎道德只是一种主观感受 丽莎
Morality is just a subjective feeling, Liza.
‎知道了 先生
Uh, noted, sir.
‎再说了 他们根本不会上船的
Besides, they will never even board the ship.
‎我们只是‎利用“加勒比海女王”把他们引出来
We will only use the Caribbean Queen to lure them out of hiding.
‎我在努力了
I'm trying.
‎我们在帮助有需要的人
We are aiding people in need,
‎为他们在纷争不断的世界里‎带来一丝希望
giving them a glimmer of hope in a strife-torn world.
‎是啊 也许可以这样看待
Yeah. Maybe it is possible to look at it like that.
‎确实是的 去做吧
It sure is. Make it happen.
‎妈的
Fuck.
‎（坦纳）
‎康苏拉！我要吃早餐 快点！
Consuela! I want my breakfast. Chop-chop!
‎早餐就在你的盘子里 小弗尔先生
It is on your plate, Mr. Fall the Younger.
‎如果你没给我切吐司‎就不算给我做早餐了
You have not made my breakfast if you have not cut my toast!
‎你知道的 这是你的工作‎这是你做了30年的工作
You know this. It's your job!
It has been your job for 30 years!
‎恕我直言 你并不是我的老板
You are not my boss, with all due respect.
‎是的 严格来说不是的‎但你是我父亲雇来的
No, not technically, but you get paid by my father to do this.
‎他不在这里 既然我是他的继承人
He is not here, and since I am his heir,
‎我就是你的间接上司‎你在我的管辖范围内
I'm indirectly your superior, and you're under my jurisdiction.
‎是的 你♥爸♥爸是我的雇主‎他就在外面的花♥园♥里
Well, your dad is my employer, and, uh, he's just out in the garden.
‎别跟我顶嘴 康苏拉
Do not talk back to me, Consuela,
‎因为如果你不乖乖听话
because then I'll have to petition to get your tubby ass fired
‎我就会去请求爸爸把你炒掉‎我可不想这样做
if you don't fall in line, and I don't wanna do that.
‎好把 坦纳 乖乖吃你的早餐吧
Okay, Tanner. Finish your breakfast.
‎等被解雇你就不觉得好玩了 康苏拉
Oh-ho! It's all fun and games till you're fired, Consuela.
‎（大坦纳）
‎耶！滚吧 小鸟们！
Yeah! Fuck you, birds!
‎嘿 姑娘们‎午休时间来场三人行怎么样？
Hey, girls. How about a ménage à trois at nap time?
‎能再说一遍吗 先生？
Um… Come again, sir?
‎我说等孩子们睡了 我们做♥爱♥吧
I said, let's fornicate when the babies are asleep.
‎-拜托‎-你能相信吗？
‎你俩又不是在这里散步的清白处♥女♥
It's not like you're two innocent virgins walking here.
‎大家都知道你们以前做过的
Everyone can see that you've done it before.
‎所以才会有孩子
Hence the babies.
‎你快滚吧 怎么样？
How about screw you?
‎你们显然对传统的性♥交♥并不陌生
You're obviously not strangers to the old intercourse,
‎所以让我♥操♥一下又有什么问题呢？
so what's the problem with letting me have a little go?
‎抱歉 你有什么问题吗 先生？
I'm sorry, what's wrong with you, sir?
‎你有什么毛病吗？用我们叫人来吗？
Do you have a condition or something? Should… Should we…
-Should we call someone? -Uh!
‎我没毛病
Nothing is wrong with me.
‎我只是一位英俊的恶魔‎提出了一项诱人的提议
I'm just a handsome devil making a tempting proposition.
‎因为这肯定是史上最糟糕的提议
the worst proposition in the history of propositions.
‎好吧 这是你们的损失 女士们
All right, your loss, ladies.
‎但要知道 我曾把最干燥的沙漠
But know this, I've been known to turn the driest desert