背锅船长（2023）

But he… he'll come around.
‎以德报怨 他们不就是这么说的吗？
Kill them with kindness. Isn't that what they say?
‎喂？
Yes?
‎是 好的 收到
Yes. Okay. Roger that.
‎古德拉克和他的船员们正在靠近
Mr. Goodluck and his crew are approaching.
‎就在那里 地平线上
Oh! There, on the horizon.
‎啊 他们真远啊 但我能听得很清楚
Ah, they're so far away, but I can hear them real well.
‎我这是怎么了？‎仿佛我有超级听力一样
What is happening to me? It's like I… Oh, it's like have super hearing.
‎也许我终于发现了我不为人知的天赋‎在海上听力特别好
Maybe I finally found my hidden talent, hearing exceptionally well at sea. Huh.
‎（欢迎！）
Oh.
‎古德拉克先生‎欢迎莅临加勒比海女王号♥
Welcome, Mr. Goodluck, to the Caribbean Queen.
‎我是你们的船长 乔纳森弗尔
Uh… I am your captain, Johnathan Fall. Hah. Uh…
Oh.
‎我很高兴泰伦特先生安排了这次会面
I am so happy for Mr. Tyrant setting up this meeting.
‎请把我的谢意和这个一起带给他
Please, bring him my many thanks along with this.
‎哇哦 看起来真是货真价实‎我肯定他一定会喜欢的
Huh. Wow, it looks completely real. I am sure he will love it.
‎好 请上船吧 我们正等着你们呢
‎谢谢你 船长
Thank you, Captain.
‎给你的
Oh! One for you.
‎给你的
One for you.
‎不好意思
Oh! Oh, excuse me.
‎你耳朵里是什么呀 小家伙？
What's that in your ear there, little fella? Ah!
Ah!
‎住手！
Arrête ça.
‎哦 哇哦 好强壮
Oh wow, so strong.
‎嗯 真好玩
Huh! Well, that was fun.
‎所以 你们在刚果‎也喜欢玩警♥察♥抓劫匪 是吗？
So we like to play cops and robbers over there in Congo, do we?
‎太棒了 既有趣又好玩
That is just… swell. Fun and games is, uh… is good.
‎千万别抛弃你们的童趣‎你们这些小淘气们
Never lose your playfulness, you little rascal.
‎动作真是太快了
Ooh. That was so fast.
‎电池 这个赋予生命的能量储存器
The battery, this life-giving energy reservoir,
‎从卡车到电♥话♥ 为一切事物提供燃料
fueling everything from trucks to telephones.
‎没有它我们该怎么办？
Where would we be without it?
‎而没有钴还会有电池吗？
And what would a battery be without cobalt?
‎只是一块昂贵的无用的材料…材料？
Just an expensive piece of useless material.
Material? Hmm-hmm.
‎材料
Material.
‎只是在准备我要给孩子们表演的节目
Just preparing for a show that I am treating those kids to.
‎你没注意到他们看上去有多沮丧吗？
Did you not notice how sullen they looked?
‎我猜我不太擅长察言观色‎我真没注意
‎嗯 我很擅长‎这些孩子迫切需要好好玩玩
Well, I am, and those kids are in dire need of a good time.
‎嗯 也许他们只是想放松一下
You know, maybe they just want to relax
‎享受一段远离日常生活的时光
and enjoy some time off from the daily routine.
‎我的意思是‎他们很少有机会像这样放松一下
I mean, it's not often they get to do relaxing stuff like this.
‎我猜他们一直都很忙
I think they are kept pretty busy, if you ask me.
‎孩子就是孩子 欢乐是共通的
Kids are kids, and fun is universal.
‎我准备了笑话
I have prepared jokes,
‎谜语、顺口溜‎还有他们所渴望的一切
and riddles, and rhymes, and everything they could ever crave.
‎哇哦 好吧
Wow. Okay.
‎我觉得 还是把你的老鼠装
Uh… Just lose the rat outfit.
‎脱了吧
I think.
‎行 好吧 不过这是兔子
Oh, f… Yeah, fine. It's a bunny,
‎但这个表演的其他部分‎我是不会妥协的
but I'm not compromising on the rest of the show.
‎也许是我太操心了‎但孩子就是我们的未来
Maybe I care too much, but children are our future,
‎而且我也没看到其他人‎想让他们打起精神来
and I don't see anybody else trying to lift their spirits around here.
‎所以 这个…
So this one…
-Oh.
‎哦 不好
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
‎这不是…
That is not… Ah, ah. Ah-ah.
Ooh. Wh… I…
‎有什么可以帮您的吗‎古德拉克先生？似乎有点棘手
M… May I help you, Mr. Goodluck? It's a… a bit tricky.
‎不用 我可以轻松搞定 我很懂电脑
Uh, no. I can do this easily. I'm very computer literate.
‎行 有什么需要我帮忙的尽管说
Yeah. Just tell me if there's anything I can do.
‎什么都没有
There is nothing.
‎我是不同电缆和连接领域的专家
I'm an expert in the different cables and connections area,
‎所以这对我来说没有问题
so that poses no problem for me.
‎-好吧‎-好的
Okay. -Okay. Okay. Mm.
‎只要连到那里的HDMI2插口就行了
Just connect to the HDMI 2 there.
‎我早就知道了 但这不是我要做的
I knew that, but that is not what I was trying to do.
Hmm.
‎（加勒比海女王号♥）
Eh…
Uh…
‎欢迎来到JSF‎即少年安保队宣讲会现场
Welcome to this presentation of JSF, the Juvenile Security Force.
Uh…
‎后面的人都能清楚地听到我说话吗？
Uh, can everyone hear me fine all the way there in the back?
‎当然了 这只是个小房♥间
Of course. This is just a small room.
‎哦 那就好 不错 真不错
Oh, okay, good. Uh… Uh-uh… G…
Um, good.
‎欢迎你 洪先生 还有你的同事们
Welcome to you, Mr. Hong, and to your associates.
‎很荣幸您拨冗‎在这艘美丽的船上与我们…
It is an honor that you took the time to meet us here in this fine… vessel.
‎会面
‎好吧 那我们就直接开始谈正事吧
Okay, let us get straight to business.
‎现在你们对我有了更多的了解
Eh… Now you know more about me.
‎那里总是充满了希望 不是吗？
That is always positive. Yeah?
‎总之 我说到哪儿了？
Anyway. Uh, where was I?
‎对了
Uh, yes.
‎当你们今天离开这个房♥间时
When you leave this room today,
‎你们会坚信少年安保队
you will be convinced that the Juvenile Security Force
‎是守卫你们钴矿的正确选择
is the right choice for guarding your cobalt mines.
‎因为就像我们常说的：‎“重点不在你认识谁
Because like we used to say, "It's not who you know,
‎而是你炸飞了谁”
but who you blow… up."
‎这个说法非常好笑
It is a… a very funny twist on the saying.
‎接下来是“讹传还是事实”环节
Eh-heh. I'll move along to myths or facts.
‎与成年士兵相比‎童子军需要的食物更少
Child soldiers need less food than grown soldiers
‎因此他们是更加实惠的选择
and are therefore a more affordable choice.
‎这是讹传还是事实呢？
Myth or fact?
‎船长？
Capitán?
‎有多少孩子报名参加了魔术表演？
Uh, how many of the children have signed up for the magic show?
‎一个都没有
Mm… No one.
‎什么？这些孩子有什么毛病？
D… What? What the freckles is wrong with these children?
‎我准备了一场精彩的演出
I have a heck of a show prepared. -I am aware. Yes.
‎我知道 确实
‎你有没有跟他们说‎我准备了精彩的节目？
Did you tell them I have a heck of a show prepared?
‎说了 我告诉他们了
Ye… Yes, I told them.
‎你是这么说的吗？
In those words?
‎是的
Yes.
‎哦 真不妙‎他们肯定以为“精彩”不是什么好词
Oh, not good. Then they heard the H word. Ugh.
‎他们没会错意
I think they'll be fine.
‎他们对演出很期待吗？‎他们说了些什么？
Were they excited about the show? What did they say?
‎什么？
‎你也知道 船长 小孩子的玩笑罢了
Eh, you know, Captain, it's just kids' humor.
‎好吧 马上召开员工紧急会议
Okay, call an emergency staff meeting, pronto.
‎我有办法收拾这个烂摊子
I have a plan to solve this mess.
‎每个人都必须加入 我不接受拒绝
Everyone has to join, and I… I won't take no for an answer.
Whoo!
‎一起来吧 朋友们！快来！
Join in, friends! Come on! Come on!
‎有什么好怕的？太好玩了
What are you scared of? This is so fun.
‎太好玩了
‎所有的杯子、锅子、刀子、叉子‎和勺子都可以按比例缩小
All the cups, uh… pots, uh… the knives,
uh, the forks, and the spoons can all be scaled down,
‎从长远来看‎可以为您节省一笔不小的开支
and in the long run could save you a considerable amount.
‎您想让我详细阐述‎光是选择体格比较小的童子军
Do you want me to elaborate on the savings
‎就能节约多少费用吗？
just because of the sheer lack of size of the soldiers?
Eh?
‎不想？还是想？
No? Or yes?
‎还是不想？
O… Or no?
‎有人想跳康加舞吗？‎想跟我们一起跳康加舞吗？
‎有人想跳康加舞吗？有人想…
‎然后调头！
And reverse!
‎没人来跳康加舞
‎没人来跳康加舞
‎他们不想跳康加舞‎我们就不打扰你们了
‎大家继续往后退
Keep backing up, everybody!
‎我们休息一下吧‎这样可以吗 洪先生？
Let's take a break. Huh? Is that okay for you, Mr. Hong?
‎稍微休息下？让头脑清醒一下
Yeah? A… A short break, eh?
Eh… To… To… To clear our heads.
Eh-hah.
‎可以？还是不可以？
Yes? O… Or no?
‎哦 哇哦 谢谢 我累死了
Oh wow, thanks. I am so exhausted.
‎-康加排舞是最好的锻炼方式‎-真的吗？
Conga line is the best form of exercise. -Really?
‎真的 我在某个地方读到过
Yeah, I read that somewhere.
‎我希望我没有破坏他们的会面 但是…
Oh, I hope I didn't ruin their meeting, but, uh…
‎能让这些孩子的脸上露出笑容‎那这一切都是值得的
being able to put a smile on all those children's faces made it all worthwhile.