背锅船长（2023）

Sh!
‎好 走吧
Okay. Let's go.
‎快滚
Piss off. -Hmm?
‎好了 三 四…
Okay. In three, four…
‎祝你生日快乐！
‎祝你生日快乐！
‎祝你生日快…
‎她还活着吗？
Is she alive?
‎亚历山德拉 亚历山德拉 醒醒
Alexandra. Alexandra, wake up.
‎她醒过来了 再唱一次生日歌♥
Oh, she's waking up. Birthday song now, again.
‎16岁生日快乐 亲爱的
Happy sweet sixteen, my love.
‎我的礼物呢？
Uh, where is my gift?
‎说你呢 快把礼物拿来
You. Give gift immediately.
‎这是什么？
What is this?
‎我的公主 这顶皇冠是六百多年前
That tiara, my princess, was worn by the Queen of England
‎英国女王戴过的 怎么样？
more than 600 years ago. Mm?
‎不喜欢旧东西 下一个
Don't care about old things. Next.
‎这是在故意搞笑吗？
Is this supposed to be a joke?
‎根本不合身
This doesn't even fit.
‎只是暂时不合身
Maybe not yet.
‎（左 右）
‎（嘴唇）
‎-嗒哒！‎-跟我想的一样吗？
Ta-da! -Is that what I think it is?
‎是的
Oh, da.
‎那些世界顶级的医生是你的生日礼物
Those world-class doctors are your birthday present.
‎他们会给你‎所有16岁女孩都梦寐以求的
They will give you the biggest tits and lips
‎最大的胸部和唇部
any 16-year-old girl could ever wish for.
‎谢谢你 爸爸
Thank you, Papulya.
‎这是有史以来最棒的16岁生日派对
It's going to be the best 16th birthday party ever.
‎现在我们可以一起拍性感的全家福了
Now we can take sexy family photos together.
‎我会教你怎么挺背 显得屁♥股♥翘
I will teach you how to arch your back to make that ass pop.
‎你知道我讨厌老旧的东西‎再说了 他们以为自己是谁？
You know I hate old things. Who do they think they are anyway?
-Ah-ah! Ah!
‎对 今晚
Da. Da, tonight.
‎对 非法
Yes, illegal.
‎非常重要 大型交易
Very important. Huge deal.
‎到处都是特工 是的 巴雷尔女士 对
Agents everywhere. Yes. Yes, Ms. Barell. Da.
‎（游戏）
‎片名：背锅船长
‎好 我大概明白了
Okay, okay. I think I got you,
‎不过你能重复一遍任务的重要性吗？
but, uh, could you repeat that part of the importance of the mission?
‎-刚才信♥号♥♥不好‎-我记了笔记
You were breaking up there. -I took notes.
‎-我们可以晚点说‎-不用
We can go through it later. -No.
‎我希望你们完全清楚
I want this to be absolutely clear.
‎这是我们多年来风险最大的任务
This is our most risky mission in years,
‎但回报丰厚
but the reward is outstanding.
‎好 很好 我明白了 继续
Okay, good. I got that part. Keep going.
‎这位俄♥罗♥斯♥寡头受到警方全天监视
This Russian oligarch is under police surveillance 24/7,
‎所以你们唯一的机会‎是混入他要举办的一场聚会
so your only chance is to blend in at a party he is holding
‎转交放射物
and make the delivery of the radioactive thing.
Oh.
‎简直就像詹姆斯邦德电影
It's just like, uh, in a James Bond movie, almost.
‎太棒了
That's awesome.
‎什么？
What?
‎就像詹姆斯邦德一样 知道吗？‎或者说 像詹姆斯邦德的电影
It's like James Bond, you know? Or you, uh… like a James Bond movie.
‎就是很酷
So… very cool.
‎詹姆斯邦德？
James Bond?
‎从没听说过这个人
Never heard of him.
‎你从没看过詹姆斯邦德的电影？
You never seen a James Bond movie?
‎没有
No. -Uh…
‎詹姆斯邦德是一名特工‎里面的女人都很美艳…
You see, James Bond works as an agent, and the women are, like, gorgeous--
‎这里是现实 尼科
This is real life, Nico,…
‎不是什么系列电影‎你觉得这一切都是玩笑吗？
…not some series of films. Is everything a joke to you?
‎不是 只是打比方说这次任务有多酷
No, no. I… It… It was just a… a… a reference to how cool this mission is.
‎这是一项艰巨的任务
It's, um… It's… It's an outstanding mission.
‎所以我才提到他‎因为这是一个很酷的项目
That's why I, like, mentioned him because it's a… it's a cool project.
‎我没有恶意
I meant no harm.
‎-这次任务不许失败‎-当然 泰伦特先生
Failure is not an option on this mission. -Certainly, Mr. Tyrant.
‎我希望你们都清楚
I want you all to know
‎以防你们失败 我在准备一个鲨鱼缸
that I'm preparing a shark tank, just in case you fail me.
‎鲨鱼缸？
A shark tank?
‎我自己的创意 没有参考别人
My own creation, not in reference to anything else.
‎可能有点过头 但我向你们保证
It might be a bit over the top, but I can assure you
‎这给我们组织上下‎传递了一个有力的信息
it sends a powerful message throughout our organization.
‎请告诉大家
Please spread the word.
‎也可以在网上发个帖子
Maybe do a piece on it on the Internet.
‎这确实传达了有力的信息 长官
That does send a strong message indeed, sir.
‎鼓励了大家尽全力确保一切顺利
It motivates everyone to do our utmost to make sure everything runs smoothly.
‎丽莎 你是任务的主角
Liza, you are the lead on this.
‎你必须亲自转交…放射物
You must personally deliver the… radioactive thing.
‎-为什么我…‎-再见
Why do I-- -Farewell.
‎先生？
Sir?
‎鲨鱼缸
Shark tank.
‎对
Yeah.
‎太酷了
So cool.
‎情况怎么样？
How are we doing here?
‎等我们拿到了放射物 就可以开始了
When we get the radioactive thing, we should be good to go.
‎很好 太棒了
Ah, great! That is just great.
‎是的 对您来说很棒
Yes, for you, it's great.
‎对世界的大部分地区来说 没那么棒
For a large part of the world, not so much.
‎但对我和我的家人来说‎这很棒 我把家庭放在第一位
Mm, but for me and my family, it's great, and I put family first.
‎你不把家庭放在第一位吗？
You don't put family first?
‎家庭是很重要 但话说回来
Family is important, but again,
‎对地球上三分之一的人来说没那么棒
it is not so great for one third of the people on earth.
‎我真的不喜欢这种逆反的态度
Ugh, I really don't like that counterproductive attitude.
‎团队精神在哪里？
Where is the team spirit?
‎抱歉
Sorry.
‎只是我模拟了海平面上升情况 然后…
It's just that I'd ran a simulation of increasing sea levels, and it--
‎呃 我有点吃惊
Well, it kind of freaked me out a bit.
‎你可以在私人时间里吃惊
Well, you can freak out on your own time.
‎这个项目是为了‎我和我家人的经济未来
This project is about me and my family's economic future,
‎我不需要某些科学家‎一有机会就道德绑♥架♥我
and I don't need random scientists guilt-tripping me at every opportunity.
‎抱歉 先生
Sorry, sir.
‎好了 各位 理论上很简单
Okay, boys, this is pretty simple in theory.
‎我们带着两个一模一样的手提箱
We bring two identical briefcases.
‎在我们安全进去之前‎弗尔拿着真的箱子
Fall has the hot one until we're safely inside.
‎尼科拿着另一个‎然后我们进行交换和送货
Nico has the other. Then we make a switch and the delivery.
‎-所有的风险都在他身上 小菜一碟‎-听起来不错
All risk is on him. Easy-peasy. -Sounds good.
‎尼科 你打扮成服务生‎可以轻松混进去
Nico, you'll be dressed as a waiter, so you can blend in easily.
‎-可以扮成其他人吗？‎-什么意思？
Uh… Can I be something else? -What do you mean?
‎除了服务生以外的其他人？‎只是感觉有点老套 无意冒犯
Something else than a waiter? It just feels a bit cliché. No offense.
‎好吧 你有什么建议？
Okay. What do you suggest?
‎就是酷一点的角色 不行吗？
Well, just something a bit cooler, no?
‎比如21点的庄家 直升机维修师
Like a blackjack dealer or something. Helicopter mechanic,
‎也许戴着眼罩‎叼着雪茄之类的 我不知道
maybe with an eye patch and a cigar or something. I don't know.
‎服务生可以在房♥子里自♥由♥行动
A waiter can move freely throughout the house.
‎维修师根本不会出现在房♥子里‎因为他会在机库
A mechanic wouldn't even be in the house because he would be in the garage.
‎对 除非他把工具忘在房♥子里了
Yeah, unless he forgot some tools in the house or something.
‎厨师怎么样‎比如个性十足的戈登拉姆齐
Or what about a chef, like Gordon Ramsay with lots of attitude,
‎在厨房♥里大闹一场 肯定很酷
making huge scenes in the kitchen? That… That would be kinda cool.
‎-你要扮成服务生‎-好吧
You will go as a waiter. -Fine.
‎佩德罗‎你拿着狙♥击♥枪♥守在外面 负责监视
And Pedro, I need you outside with a sniper rifle. You will be my eyes.
‎弗尔船长呢？
‎在最坏的情况下 他是牺牲品
He's collateral, in a worst-case scenario of course.
‎-真的吗？泰伦特先生这么说的？‎-对
Really? Mr. Tyrant said that? -Yeah.
‎好吧 我还没做好准备呢
Oh. Well, I wasn't really prepared for that yet.
‎我知道 我一点也不喜欢这样
Yeah, I know. I don't like it one bit,
‎还真是会渐渐喜欢上他 但你知道的
and he really grows on you, but you know the deal.
‎我们不能对船长动感情 所以…
We aren't supposed to get emotionally attached to the captain, so…
‎我知道
I know, I know.
‎嘿 船长
Whoa! -Hey, Captain.
Oh. Hah!
‎你在这里做什么？
What are you doing here?
‎你吓到我了
Oh, you scared me there.
‎我的朋友‎你被邀请参加有史以来最棒的派对了
You, mi amigo, are invited to the best party ever.
‎-是吗？‎-是彼得洛夫潘戈罗夫寄来的
Am I? -It's from Petrov Popangelov.