背锅船长（2023）

What, what? If you don't wanna know the truth,
‎就别偷听别人的对话
stop listening in on other people's conversations.
‎我觉得他…‎老实说 我觉得这孩子有点迟钝
I think he… Honestly, I think this one's slow.
‎这边 你们何不上船去？谢谢
Here. Why don't you go on the ride? Thank you.
‎生日派对很疯狂吧？
Insane birthday party, huh?
‎我喝了六瓶啤酒 醉得像一个傻子
I had, like, six beers. I'm hungover like a mofo.
‎好吧
Okay.
‎是啊 完全失控了
Yeah, it got totally outta hand.
‎操了三个小妞 还是小姐姐的
Fucked three chicks, or hens, or whatever.
‎我还以为昨晚大部分都是老人呢
I thought there were mostly senior citizens there last night.
‎我能说什么呢？
What can I say?
‎我就喜欢有韵味的葡萄干‎跟葡萄一样好吃
I like the taste of raisins just as good as grapes.
‎好吧
Okay.
‎不管怎样 真不敢相信‎我已经33岁半了
Anyway, I can't believe I'm finally 33 and a half.
‎工作生活两不误的日子
Wow, time flies when you're doing great and having tons of fun at the same time,
‎就是过得快啊
both at work and in private.
‎当然 是的 我懂的
Sure… Sure. Yes, I get it.
‎嘿 这船怎么了？‎就不能再快一点吗？
Hey, what's wrong with this ride? Can't it go any faster?
‎这已经是这艘船‎允许驾驶的最快速度了
Well, this is as fast as I am allowed to take this… old lady.
‎拜托 小乔
Come on, Tiny J.
‎你知道我是真正的船长吧？‎如果我想 我就可以命令你
You know I'm a real captain, right? I could order you if I wanted to.
‎我觉得你不能这样做
Ah, I… I don't think you could do that.
‎你想考验我吗？
Oh. Oh, you wanna test me? Do you?
‎-是吗？‎-没有
‎你真想考验我吗？
No. -Do you seriously wanna test me?
‎-我没…‎-我特此征用这艘船
I really don't-- -I hereby commandeer this ship.
‎不要！
No!
Yay-hey! Whoo!
Oh! Oh!
‎天啊 乔纳森！刚才太危险了！
God, Jonathan! That was so dangerous!
‎我的孩子呢？
Where's my baby?
‎鲸鱼喷水了！
Thar she blows!
Oh…
‎好吧 我的衣服都湿了呢
Okay. Well, okay. And now my clothes are wet.
‎乔纳森弗尔
Jonathan Fall, you have shown a lack of responsibility,
‎你表现得毫无责任心
‎我别无选择 只能解除你的职务
and I have no choice but to remove you of your stripe.
‎求你了 先生 你不能这样做
Please, sir. You can't do this.
‎我就做了！
Well, I just did!
Ah!
‎可恶 好伤自尊
Darn, that hurts.
‎妈妈？
Mom?
‎爸爸？
Dad?
‎有人在家吗？
Anyone home?
‎妈妈？爸爸？
Mom? Dad?
‎有人吗！
Hello?
‎有人在吗？没有 大家都去哪里了？
Anyone in here? No. Where are you guys?
‎有人…
Hel… Oh!
‎-怎么回事 乔纳森？‎-嗨
What the hell, Jonathan? -Hi.
‎你很清楚那台节拍器的意义
You know very well what that metronome means.
‎只有每分钟以此节拍做♥爱♥
It's lovemaking at a BPM that makes us come
‎才能让我俩同时达到高♥潮♥
at the exact same second.
‎是的 我知道 抱歉 我知道
Yes, I know. Sorry, I… I know.
‎所以呢？怎么了？
Well? What?
‎我在工作中被降职了 我想问问
and, um… I was just wondering
It's just that I was, uh, demoted at work,
‎你们能不能跟坦纳谈谈
if you could speak to Tanner
‎让我去他的船上积累一些工作经验
about me maybe getting some work experience on his ship.
‎他不听我的话
He… He won't listen to me. -On Tanner's ship?
‎去坦纳的船上吗？
‎这就是你想要的生活吗‎靠施舍得到你想要的东西？
Is that how you wanna live your life, taking handouts to get what you want?
‎而不是靠自己的努力？我觉得不可行
Not working for it? I don't think so.
‎这可不是弗尔家族的行事风格
That's not how the Fall family works.
‎不可能的
No way.
‎乔纳森 亲爱的
Jonathan, darling.
‎什么事 妈妈？
Yes, Mom?
‎你为什么不离开房♥间‎让你父亲和我快点完事呢？
Why don't you get out of the room so that your father and I can finish?
‎无意冒犯 但你的出现让我非常扫兴
No offense, but your presence is a huge, huge turnoff.
‎是的！快滚出去吧！
Yes! Now, get the hell out!
‎天啊 我们开始吧
Jesus. There we go.
‎你们…好吧 是的 我该走了
Oh, you're s… Okay, yes. That's… That's my cue.
‎好了 我们到了
Okay. We're here.
‎还有丽莎‎请尽量不要引起别人的注意
Oh, and Liza, try not to attract any attention please.
‎-快去快回‎-当然 佩德罗
Just quick in and out, hmm? -Sure thing, Pedro.
‎你知道我的 我会谨慎行事的
You know me. I'll be discreet.
‎很好
Muy bien.
‎（数独）
‎有什么能为您效劳的？
So what can I do for you?
‎我的老板‎正在招聘一名高级游轮的船长
My employer is looking for a captain for a high-end cruise ship.
‎太好了 我们有全国最优秀的人选
Perfect. We have some of the best candidates in the country.
‎太好了‎我们是一家非传统的游轮公♥司♥
Great. We are an unconventional cruise line,
‎我们的宗旨是给每个人一次机会
and we are all about giving everyone a chance.
‎-听起来不错‎-是的
Sounds good. -Yes.
‎所以我希望‎我们可以从最底部的人选开始看起
So I was hoping we could start at the bottom of your deck
and work our way up from there.
‎所以你想要最差的人选？
So you want the worst candidate?
‎也许吧
Mm… Maybe.
‎最糟糕的人选‎是一位名叫乔纳森弗尔的人
Well, the very worst candidate is a man by the name of Jonathan Fall.
‎他是全班最差的‎一名领袖应有的特质
He was at the bottom of his class,
and he has all the qualities that you're not looking for in a leader,
‎他全都没有 你可以看看
as you can see here.
‎极易上当受骗
Hmm. Gullibility through the roof,
‎缺乏权威 领导力差 不易起疑
extremely low on natural authority, alphaness, suspiciousness. Uh!
‎-看起来很合适‎-真的吗？
This seems like a great fit. -Really?
‎哇 那可太好了
Wow, this is so great to hear.
‎我要好好宣扬这件事 告诉所有人
I'm gonna make a huge deal about this and tell everyone.
‎拜托 波特太太
Hey. Please, please, Mrs. Porter.
‎对我的老板来说 谨慎是非常重要的
Discretion is of immense importance to my employer.
‎你在开玩笑吗？我已经在发照片墙了
Are you kidding? I'm already making an Instagram post.
‎我们有超过90万粉丝 传播很广的
We have over 900,000 followers, so the reach is pretty spectacular.
‎肯定会轰动的
This is bound to go viral,
‎你和你老板的面孔也会被疯传的
and you and your employer will have your faces all over it.
‎我很抱歉 但我们不能这样做
You know, I'm so sorry, but we can't have that.
‎抱歉
Ah! -Sorry.
‎抱歉
Sorry. Uh, sorry. Sorry.
‎该死
Shit.
‎（小心轻放 此端向上）
‎是啊 所以…
Yeah, so, uh…
‎抱歉了
Sorry.
‎该死
Merde.
‎好吧…抱歉
And… sorry.
‎顺利 丽莎 非常顺利
Smooth, Liza. Very smooth.
‎（加勒比海女王 乔纳森弗尔）
‎真是见鬼了
Well, I'll be cocked.
‎乔纳森！
Jonathan!
‎亲爱的！
Darling!
‎早餐准备好了！
Breakfast is ready!
‎-给我做的？‎-是的 给你做的 我的小混♥蛋♥
For me? -Yes, for you, my little scoundrel.
‎乔尼 天啊 我们好想你
Johnny, good God, we've missed you so much.
‎-从昨天开始？‎-是的 从昨天开始 你睡得好吗？
Since yesterday? -Yes, since yesterday. Did you sleep okay?
‎好吧 什么？怎么回事？
Oh… Okay. What? What is going on?
‎拜托 妈妈 太恶心了 太讨厌了！
Please, Mom, this is disgusting. Ya… Revolting!
‎怎么啦？我不能对我最爱的儿子
What? I am not allowed to tell my favorite son
‎说我爱他和想念他吗？
that I love him and miss him?
‎什么？爱乔纳森 想念乔纳森？
What?! Love and miss Jonathan?
‎我才是最爱的儿子 爸爸 你告诉她
I'm… I'm the favorite son. Dad, tell her.
‎抱歉 坦纳 我们不会偏爱某个孩子
Sorry, Tanner. We don't favor any of our children.
‎但如果我要选择 虽然我不会那样做‎我现在会选乔纳森
But if I was to choose, which I won't, right now it would be Jonathan.
‎我也是 如果非要选 如果逼我选
Me too.
If I had to. If I was pushed into a corner.
‎好吧 这是什么奇怪的把戏？
Okay. What kind of bizarre charade is this?
‎你们总是说‎他出生那天 回想起来很可怕
You guys always say that you dread the day he was born,
‎他是废柴 你一直希望
and that he's a loser, and that you hoped for so long
‎是医院抱错了‎你们就能找回真正的孩子了
that there was a mix-up at the hospital, and you'd get your real child back.
‎你们总是这么说
You always say that.
‎够了 坦纳 走开！
That's enough, Tanner. Shoo! Shoo!
‎加勒比海女王今天给你寄来这份包裹
You received this today from the Caribbean Queen.
‎你收到正式的工作邀请了