背锅船长（2023）

‎那好吧 我想拥有美好的回忆
Okay then. I would love to have fond memories.
‎（欢迎来到里约！）
‎哇 好大一架直升机呀
Wow, that's a big helicopter.
‎是啊
It is.
‎就像一只大黄蜂‎只不过它是金属做的
Ah, it's like a giant bumblebee.-Except that it's made of metal. -Sure.
‎没错 观察力很好 船长
Very good observation, Captain. -Yeah.
‎还有一些油基材料
And… And some oil-based materials also.
‎比如塑料还有其他制品
Like, uh, plastic and… the works.
Uh-huh.
‎嘿 我的朋友 嘿 你没有手表
Hey, hey. My friend, my friend, my friend. Hey.You don't have no watch, eh?
‎没错
Oh. That is true.
‎我父母总说‎我的手腕太细 不适合戴表
My parents always told me my wrists were too slim for me to wear a timepiece.
‎不 你手腕的形状很好
Your wrists are… They are great. Eh…No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
‎它们几乎不丑
They are……almost not hideous, eh?
‎嘿 戴上试试
Hey, try this on, eh?
-Oh. -Ah?
‎这表带多合适
Cá ver? Like a glove.
‎哇 真好看
Wow. So beautiful. I…
‎我一直梦想拥有一块真正的劳力士
I always dreamt of owning a genuine, authentic Rolex.
‎这是真的劳力士吧？
It is a real Rolex, right?
‎我听说有人制♥造♥假表
I've heard they actually make fake watches.
‎不是假的 好吗？我卖♥♥的是真货
Mm-mm. No fakey, okay? I'm real deal.
‎好的 抱歉 我得问一下
Okay, sorry, I had to ask.
‎就是以防万一 小心为上嘛 多少钱？
Just a precaution. You can never be too careful. How much?
‎两千 在商店买♥♥ 价格至少要翻倍
Dois mil. Two thousand, eh? In stores, at least double the price.
‎-真的吗？‎-是啊
Oh, really? -Mm-hmm. Yeah.
‎给你特别优♥惠♥ 我的瘦子朋友
Special deal for you, my skinny friend.
‎哇 真友好啊
Oh, wow, so friendly.
Um…
‎我买♥♥了
I… I'll take it.
‎我要把存款花光了‎但我认为这是一项投资
but I… I… I look at this as an investment.I'll just have to empty my savings account,
‎另付一百答谢你优质的服务‎我的朋友
And a hundred dollars extra to you for excellent service, my friend.
‎嘿！
Hey-hey! Hey!
‎上帝保佑你
Que Deus te abençoe. God bless you.
‎谢谢你 弱智的家伙 回头见！
Thank you, my feeble fella. Ha!-Oh. -I'll see you later!
‎哇 真是幸运‎我们赶在他收摊前买♥♥到了
Wow. That was lucky. We made it just before he closed for the day.
‎是啊 很幸运
Yes, lucky.
‎显然他是急着回家‎可能是个顾家男人 瞧瞧它
Obviously in a rush to get home. Probably a family man.Ah, look at that.
‎嘿 交出来 瘦猴
Hey, give it, unmuscular man.
Oh!
‎给 你拿去
Here, you can have this.
‎钱！妈的把钱拿来
Money! Passa grana, poha.
‎你要知道 那只表要价两千呢
For your information, that was a $2,000 watch,
‎实际上它价值更高
and it's actually worth much more.
‎是假的 顶多五块
It's a fake. Five dollars max.
‎其实你错了 先生 它是有口头保证的
Actually, that… that's where you're wrong, sir.It came with an oral guarantee.
‎给钱 现在！
Cash. Now!
‎不然我把你的鸡鸡切成四块
Or I'll slice your cock in four.
‎哦不！不用了 谢谢
Oh no! No, no, no, no. No thank you, no.
‎然后你会得到四个鸡鸡
Then you'll get four separate mangled penises.
‎-没一个能用的‎-我不想那样
None of them working properly. -I don't want that.
‎给 我就这么多钱
Aqui. Isso é tudo que eu tenho.
Ah! Whoa!
-Oh!
-Ah!
Eh…
‎你要知道 刚才发生的事是完全正常
Just so you know,
what just happened back there is totally normal.
‎可以说是无聊了‎这种事每时每刻都在发生
I mean, it's almost boring. It happens all the time.
‎是正常现象 就是告诉你一声
A normal occurrence, uh… just so you know.
‎有趣的是‎里约每周都有八千多起凶杀案发生
Fun fact. Rio has more than 8,000 homicides every week.
‎现在连应受惩处的罪行都算不上
They say it's not even a punishable offense here anymore.
‎你能相信吗？
Can you believe that?
‎所以很有趣吧
So that's kind of fun.
‎想想就很有趣
Huh? A fun thing to think about?
‎是吧？
Huh? Yes?
‎船长 我能做些什么让你好受点吗？
Captain, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
‎帮你拿杯汽水 冰淇淋？
Uh, get you a soft drink, an ice cream?
‎不 谢谢你 佩德罗 你做得够多了
Oh, no, no, no thank you, Pedro. You've done enough.
‎杀了那三个人 你可能也累了
You're probably tired anyway after killing those three people.
‎其中一个是被公交车撞死的
Well, you know, one of them was killed by a bus,
‎那个人可以不算的
so you can subtract that one from the equation.
‎是 我想我需要一些时间‎来消化发生的一切
Yeah. I… I just think I need some time to process everything that's happened.
‎-希望你不介意？‎-当然
I hope that's okay? -Sure.
‎别忘了‎稍后你要进行第一次船长广播
Oh, and don't forget you have your first announcement later.
‎-会很顺利的‎-是啊
It's going to be swell. -Oh. Yeah.
‎（服务台）
‎我是接线员 有什么需要帮助的吗？
Operator. How may I help you?
‎你好 请转接巴西的报♥警♥热♥线♥好吗？
Hi. I would like to talk to the Brazilian 911, please?
‎当然 请稍等
Of course, hold on.
‎里约警方 有什么需要帮助吗？
Rio Police. How may I help you?
‎嗨 我的名字是乔纳森弗尔
Hi, um, my name is Jonathan Fall,
‎我卷入了一起可怕的事件
and I have been involved in a terrible incident.
‎-请继续‎-好的
Go on. -Yes. A, um…
‎具体来说是三重凶杀案
A triple homicide, um, to be specific.
‎我会调查的
I will look into it.
‎但实话实说
But I've got to be honest with you, you know,
‎我们不会优先处理三重凶杀案‎因为这太常见了
triple homicides aren't really something we prioritize since they are so common.
‎在很多情况下 受害者是自找的
In many cases, the victims, they asked for it.
‎被杀是他们自找的吗？
They asked to be killed?
‎是的 他们会试图抢劫某人之类的
Sí, yeah, by trying to, you know, rob someone or something like that.
‎在那种情况下 他们是咎由自取
In those cases, they had it coming.
‎你想举报的凶杀案‎是这种情况吗？先生
Was that the case in the homicide you want to report, sir?
‎他们确实想要抢劫我 是的
They… They did try to rob me, yes.
‎看吧？就是这样
Mm. See? Well, there you have it.
‎但你给我们打电♥话♥是对的
But you did the right thing by calling us, eh?
‎现在案子结了‎我们都可以继续我们的生活了
And now the case is closed, and we can all move on with our lives.
‎好的 所以这里就是这样行事吗？
Okay, so tha… tha… that's how it works here?
‎是的 先生 这里的行事风格就是这样
Sí, sir. That is exactly how it works here.
‎简而言之 这就是里约的司法系统
That is Rio's judicial system in a nutshell.
Um…
‎嗯 我想我明白了 谢谢你 女士
Well, uh… understood.-Thank you… -Mm-hmm.
…ma'am, I guess.
‎再见！
Bye-bye now!
-Uh…
‎干得漂亮啊 带我们的新船长‎见识了里约的美妙生活
Well, great job showing our new captain the sweet life in Rio.
‎多温馨的欢迎
What a welcome.
‎我很抱歉 我知道有点失控了
I'm sorry about that. It got a little out of hand, I know,
‎但我的反应和直觉掌控了我‎我能怎么办？
but my reflexes and instincts took over. What can I say?
‎给他一两个小时 我相信他会没事的
Give him an hour or two,and I'm pretty sure he'll be perfectly fine.
‎你真的这么觉得吗？
Do you really think so?
‎是啊 我已经没事了‎所以对他来说应该不是问题
Yeah, I'm already over it, so shouldn't be a problem for him.
‎-嘿 船长！‎-我的天啊 你吓到我了
Hey, Capitán! -Jesus Christ almighty. Oh, you scared me.
‎抱歉 我的朋友
Sorry, my friend. -Oh!
‎是时候做自我介绍并播报目的地了
But it's time for you to introduce yourself and make a destination announcement.
‎好的
Yes. Okay. Um…
‎嗨 我是弗尔船长 我们正开往…
Hi, I am Captain Fall, and we're heading--
‎开麦克风说 船长
In the mic, Captain.
‎哦 当然了 不然没人能听到
Oh, of course, yeah. Or else no one hears it.
‎没错
Exactly.
‎好的
Okay. Okay.
‎各位游轮乘客 大家好
Hello, cruise p… passengers.
‎嗨 我是乔纳森弗尔‎我是你们的 我是弗尔船长
Uh… Hi. I'm… Jonathan Fall. I'm your… I'm Captain Fall.
‎我29岁…
Uh… I am 29--
‎我们正驶离里约 将巡游大西洋
We are leaving Rio for an Atlantic Ocean cruise
‎下一站将到达开普敦
with Cape Town as our next destination.
‎好好享受吧 愿舒适和快乐与您相伴
Enjoy your yourselves, get comfortable, and have fun.
‎你应该休息一下 船长‎我们明天再试一次
You should get some rest, Captain.-And we'll try this again tomorrow.
‎是哦 休息一下就好了
Yeah, yeah. Uh… Some rest would be good.
‎肯定的
Definitely.
‎该死
Fuck me.
‎他废了
He's a wreck. -Pff!
‎他可真是想不开‎是时候翻篇了 不是吗？
Talk about living in the past. Time to move on, no?
‎我没想到他会这么脆弱
I didn't think he would be this fragile.
‎也许是我们经历了‎这么多年的暴♥力♥ 已经麻木了
Maybe it's we who are desensitized after all this violence for so many years.
‎也许他这样只是近距离目睹了
Maybe his is just a normal human reaction
‎非常残忍♥的三重谋杀后的正常反应
after witnessing a super brutal triple murder up close.