背锅船长（2023）

‎什么？我做错什么了吗？‎难道我没有遵守礼仪吗？
Uh… What? Di… Did I do anything wrong? Did I not follow etiquette?
‎我没见过这种寡头派对场合
I… I'm… I'm new to this whole oligarch party scene.
‎我看到你了 他们在你的左边
I've got you. They're on your left.
‎好 佩德罗 等待接吻的时机
Okay. Pedro, wait for the kiss.
‎尼科 准备交换和善后
Nico, be ready for the switch and clean up.
‎好了 打开箱子 皮诺曹
Okay. Open it, Pinocchio.
‎你怎么知道我父母给我取的绰号♥？
How do you know my parents' nickname for me?
‎立刻打开
Open it now.
‎不行 这不是给你的‎我收到了严格的指令
No, this is not for you. I've got strict orders.
‎-我不在乎…‎-哦！乔纳森！
Je m'en fous-- -Oh! Jonathan!
‎嗨 丽莎 我正在跟这些人解释
Oh! Hi, Liza. I was just trying to explain to these people
‎这个礼物不能打开
that this present is off-limits.
‎你真是的
Oh, you.
‎放下那个愚蠢的手提箱 再吻我一次
Well, put down that stupid briefcase and kiss me again.
‎我需要再尝尝你灵活的蜥蜴舌头
I need some more of that swift reptile tongue.
‎真浪漫
Oh, how romantic.
‎仿佛他们放了烟花来庆祝我们的吻
It's like they set up fireworks to celebrate our kiss.
‎只是没什么美感
Just, uh… without the entertaining aesthetics.
‎我们去找一个可以做♥爱♥的地方吧
Let's find somewhere where we can… make love.
‎真的吗？太好了 我完全同意
Really? Oh yes. I am all-in.
‎你在吃避孕药吗？还是要用避孕套？
Oh, are you, uh… on the pill, or should I use a "rubber"? Um…
‎-什么…‎-你知道吗？
What-- - Oh, you know what?
‎你能去拿几杯精致的鸡尾酒吗？
Can you get us some very elaborate cocktails of some sort?
‎我好像在地下室看到了夏威夷酒吧‎我得再去一下洗手间
I think I saw a tiki bar in the basement. I'll have to go to the bathroom again,
‎在我们做♥爱♥之前
you know, before we… penetrate.
‎该死 我忘了礼物
Oh! Darn. I forgot the gift. Ugh.
‎好 去拿吧 我马上去楼下等你
Okay. Go get it, and I'll… meet you downstairs in a bit.
‎好主意
Oh, great plan.
‎抱歉 小小的意外
Sorry. Little mishap.
‎很小 没什么值得提的
Just minor. Nothing worth mentioning to anyone.
‎我完全理解
Ah, I totally understand.
‎有时候最狡猾的计划也有漏洞
Sometimes the most cunning plan has holes.
‎我相信泰伦特先生想知道一切
I'm sure Mr. Tyrant would like to know all about it.
‎我不知道 他很忙的 就像你
I don't know. He's a very busy man. Like yourself.
‎也许我们不该让他担忧这些细节
So, um… maybe we shouldn't bore him with details.
‎我也许会告知他 也许不会
Maybe I will inform him or maybe not.
‎再说吧
We'll see.
‎很好
Ah, very well.
‎好
Da.
‎因为我很有钱
Because I am so rich. -Oh.
‎-真好‎-是的 我很幸运
Good for you. -Yes. Yes. I have been very fortunate.
‎-真的吗？‎-是的
Really? -Da.
‎我想买♥♥什么都行
I can buy anything I want.
‎去好餐厅不用担心账单
Go to nice restaurants without worrying about the bill for a second.
‎最贵的菜？没问题
Most expensive dish? No problem.
‎好吧
Okay.
‎我可以买♥♥1000条牛仔裤‎5000件毛衣 眼都不眨
I can buy 1,000 pairs of jeans, eh? 5,000 sweaters. Easily.
‎-好多牛仔裤呀‎-是的 10万个汉堡
Mm. That's a lot of jeans. -Da. Da. 100,000 hamburgers.
‎吃掉一个 然后把剩下99999个扔掉‎也不会在我的财富上
Eat one and throw the other 99,999 in the trash, and it wouldn't make a dent
‎留下一个坑
in my fortune.
‎这就是我的人生 这就是我的生活
That is my life. That is the kind of life I am living here.
‎非常富有 极其富有‎但我一直保持谦虚
Very. Extremely wealthy, but I have kept my humility.
‎我记得自己的出身 这对我很重要
I remember my roots and where I came from. That is important to me.
‎很好
Great.
‎多亏这笔交易 这只是一个开始
Mm, and thanks to this deal, this is just a start.
‎接下来就是统治世界
I'm talking world domination.
‎所有其他寡头和大亨都会向我折腰
All other oligarchs and tycoons, they will bow to me.
‎完成了
Ah, there we are.
‎很高兴和你做生意 潘戈罗夫先生
Well, great doing business with you, Mr. Popangelov.
‎别忘了 小意外不值一提‎泰伦特先生不会有兴趣的
And remember that little mishap was minor. Not very interesting to Mr. Tyrant.
‎他是大忙人
He's a busy man. -Hmm? Uh… Da. Da.
‎是的 享受派对吧
Enjoy the party.
‎你在这里 我给你拿了喝的
There you are. I got you this.
‎谢谢
‎很渴 对吧？
Ooh, thirsty, huh?
‎好了 我们把礼物送给那个女孩‎然后离开这里吧
Okay. Let's give this girl her gift and get our arses out of here.
‎我还希望我们能有时间
Oh, I was hoping we would have time
‎用来做♥爱♥ 你刚才提到的
for that lovemaking thing you talked about previously.
‎-我们没有‎-好吧 我…
We don't. -Okay, well I…
‎不过老实说 我觉得这是好主意
I thought that was a great idea, though, to be honest.
‎是一个很棒的…提议
It's a… It was a great, um… initiative.
‎-生日快乐 小姐‎-走吧
Oh, happy birthday, Miss! -Come on.
‎不过 慢慢发展是聪明的做法
But, uh, you know, it's… it's smart not to rush things.
‎这样不错 好吧
That's a good move. Okay.
‎嗯 现在的关键是我们正式稳定了
Yeah, the main focus now is that we are officially going steady.
‎是的 等我们觉得合适的时候再做♥爱♥
Yes, and… and we'll just do the sexing bit when it feels right
for, uh… for both of us.
‎好吧
Well, well, well.
‎我本来希望‎我的小鲨鱼缸不会这么快派上用场
I had hoped my little shark tank wouldn't come in handy so soon.
‎长官 行动成功了
Sir, the operation was successful.
‎我们拿到钱了 也善后了
We got the money, and we cleaned up after us.
‎我们不能犯错
We cannot have mistakes.
‎潘戈罗夫打电♥话♥给我 他不太满意
Mr. Popangelov called me. He was unimpressed.
‎是吗？但是长官 拜托 这只是小事
Oh, he did? But, sir, please, this was minor.
‎对吧？你看 没有影响
Okay? Look, no harm done.
‎是的 拜托 泰伦特先生‎我们不应该是这种下场
Yes, please, Sir Tyrant, we don't all deserve this.
‎你们应得的
Oh, you do.
‎-不 先生 不是我们所有人‎-拜托 先生…
No, sir, not all of us. -Please, sir--
‎说出你们最后的祷告吧
Say your last prayers.
‎三 二 一
Three, two, one.
Ah!
‎显然是他的错 这是他应得的
It was clearly his fault. He deserves this fate.
Ah! Ah! Ah.
‎鲨鱼准备开餐了
And they're about to chow down.
Ah. Ah! Ah! Aah!
‎鲨鱼应该攻击他 为什么不攻击他？
They should be attacking him. Why are they not attacking him?
‎（鲨鱼缸 使用手册）
Ah?
‎请开始四处泼水
Start splashing around, please.
‎我以为它们会被水花吸引‎这样它们也许会认为他是猎物
I think they are attracted to, uh… splashing.
You know, so they think he's prey, maybe?
‎泰伦特先生 告诉你一个有趣的知识‎人类不是鲨鱼的天然食物来源
Fun fact, Sir Tyrant. Humans are not a natural food source for sharks.
‎根据亚型的不同‎它们更喜欢海豹或鱼
Depending on the subtype, they prefer seals, fish,
‎或者鱿鱼 甚至浮游生物
squid and even plankton.
‎别踩那个梯子 你会后悔的
Don't step on that ladder. You'll regret it.
‎还有什么比在鲨鱼缸里更糟糕？
Ah! Wh… What's worse than being in a shark tank?
‎他说的确实有道理
That's… actually a good point.
‎这个
This.
Agh!
Ah!
‎他说得对 确实有更糟的东西
He was right. There is something worse!
‎我要死了
I'm dying!
‎我终于要死了 糟糕
Oh, I'm finally dying. Oh no!
‎这是死亡
It's death! It's death!
Oh!
‎我的血都流走了 全流出来了
All my blood's leaving. It's all going!
Ow!
‎好冷 这…
Ah, so cold. It's…
Ah! Ah!
‎奶奶！
Grandma!
Ah!
Oh!