背锅船长（2023）

Nico, you don't have to explain the joke. It takes the coolness out of it.
‎自然地说出“打炮舱”这个词就好了
Just say "fuckabin" like it is the most natural word in the world.
‎-说得时候要自信一点‎-是的 当然
And say it with confidence. -Oh. Oh yeah, sure. Yeah. Totally.
‎抱歉 你说得太有道理了
Sorry. So… That makes total sense.
‎记得喝点蛋白‎事先补水 拿出你们的最佳状态
‎好呢 当然 迫不及待了
Okay. Yes. Sure. Can't wait.
‎大家能听我说几句吗？
Uh, can I have everyone's attention please?
‎大家好 我叫乔纳森弗尔‎是这艘船的船长
Hello. My name is Jonathan Fall, and I am the captain of this ship,
‎欢迎大家来到单身游轮！
and I would like to welcome you all to the Singles Cruise!
‎我感觉空气中好像有什么东西？
Wh… What is that I'm feeling in the air?
‎你们感觉到了吗？
Can you… Can you guys feel that?
‎我感觉到空中弥漫着浪漫的氛围
It's romance… is in the air, what I'm feeling.
‎你们懂的 我们不是每天‎都能看到丘比特行动
And, you know, it's not every day we get to watch Cupid in action,
‎所以确实很令人兴奋啦
so that sure is exciting.
‎不过我能邀请丽莎巴雷尔小姐‎跟我一起站在台上吗？
But can I have Miss Liza Barell join me onstage, please?
‎丽莎？你在那里啊 丽莎
Liza? Oh, there you are, Liza.
‎-舔遍你全身‎-丽莎？
Lick you up and down. -Liza?
‎-什么？‎-上来吧 亲爱的
Wh… What? -Come on up here, sweetheart.
‎我很高兴‎巴雷尔小姐和我不用四处奔走
I am just so happy Miss Barell and I don't have to run around
‎就能找到灵魂伴侣‎因为我们已经找到彼此了
trying to find a soulmate because we've already found ours.
‎祝各位单身人士好运！玩得开心
Good luck, singles! Have fun.
‎所以不要对她出手了
So hands off.
‎好了
Okay.
‎-哇 船长 好浪漫哦‎-谢谢
Wow, Captain. That was so romantic. -Oh, thanks.
‎希望有一天‎我也能体验你们这种强烈的爱情
I'm just hoping that one day I will experience the intense love
you guys have going.
‎我好羡慕你俩啊
I'm so envious of you two.
‎好吧 别放弃 我的朋友
Well, don't give up, my amigo.
‎你的心动之人必定就在某处
That special someone is out there somewhere.
‎希望如此吧
I sure hope so.
‎佩德罗 当你决定破处时
And Pedro, when you lose your virginity,
‎要确保是跟对的姑娘
just make sure that it's with the right girl.
‎静静等待 直到你找到那位姑娘
Wait until you find the one.
‎谢谢 我的朋友
Thanks, amigo.
‎这真是很好的建议
That's some good advice there. Definitely.
‎-我会记在我的日记里的‎-很好
I will make a note of that in my journal. -Great.
‎丽莎 我还为你准备了一个惊喜
And Liza, uh, I have another surprise in store for you.
‎是吗？
Okay?
‎你准备好‎迎接一次非比寻常的体验了吗？
Are you ready for an experience out of the ordinary?
‎本来是的 是的
I was. Very much. Yeah.
‎太好了 跟我来吧
Oh, great. Come with me.
‎各位？搞什么啊？
Guys? What the fuck?
‎-船长 你的饮料‎-谢谢 贡特
Captain, your beverage. -Oh, thanks, Günther.
‎看起来很好喝
Looks delicious.
‎太棒了
Mm! Ah. Ooh. That's great.
You know, nothin' beats that sparkling feeling
‎没有什么能比‎一杯高品质汽水带来的气泡感更爽了
you get from a quality soda.
‎这是真正的可乐
And this is real Cola.
‎这里没有廉价的假可乐 没有的 先生
So no cheap imitation Cola here. No, sir.
‎-很好‎-是吧？
Good. -Mm. It is, right?
‎我还在值班呢 我真得回去工作了
So I'm kind of on duty. I really have to get back to work.
‎跟船长约会的好处之一
Oh, well, one of the perks of dating the captain,
‎离开楼下的单身派对 互相培养感情
Isn't it great to just get away from the meat market downstairs
‎这样不是很好吗？
and just cultivate each other instead?
‎我敢打赌‎佩德罗他们现在一定很羡慕我们
I bet Pedro and them are… …pretty envious of us now.
‎是的 我相信他们肯定是的
Yeah, I am sure they are.
‎是的 因为你想想看
Yeah, because, you know, when you think about it,
‎这正是他们所追寻的
this is exactly what they're looking for.
‎你懂吗？就是我们…所拥有的
You know? What we… have here.
‎（佩德罗发来一张照片）
Mm!
‎天啊 这罐可乐真棒呀‎比我想象的还好喝
Holy mama, that was a great can of Сola.
Even better than I expected. Hoo!
Mm-hmm.
Ooh.
‎人气小姐
Miss Popular. -What?
‎什么？没什么 只是工作上的事啦
Uh… N… Uh, no, it's just a work thing.
‎你懂的 你现在可以忘掉所有工作
Oh, well, you know, you can forget all about work now
‎因为我制♥作♥了对话卡‎这样我们就可以用自然的方式
because I have made conversation cards,
so that we, in a natural way, can learn everything there is
‎了解彼此的一切 毫无强迫感了
to know about each other without it feeling forced.
‎好吧 我准备好了
Okay, I'm here.
‎好吧 所以你最讨厌什么？
All right. So what's your poison?
‎天气？物价 过去还是现在？
Uh… Weather? Prices of things, before and now?
‎爱猫人士还是爱狗人士？
Uh… Cat person or dog person?
‎我们又见面了 我心心念念的大白鲸
We meet again, my white whale.
‎今晚我们一起跳舞吧
Tonight, we dance.
‎-喂‎-喂 约会愉快吗？
Hey. -Hey. Good date?
‎不 那扫兴鬼‎搞得我整晚都没睡到帅哥
No! That little cuntblocker blocked cunt all night and beyond, really.
‎-现在帅哥都对我避之不及‎-很遗憾听到你这样说
I'm a marked woman on this cruise, boys. -I'm sorry to hear.
‎是啊 真是糟透了 因为昨晚太疯狂了
Yeah, that sucks because yesterday was wild.
‎我们连续做♥爱♥了五小时
We were tapping asses for like five hours straight.
‎-什么？‎-是呢
What? -Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
‎经典的团队合作 我们一个人在做♥爱♥
Classic tag teaming with one of us going at it
‎另一个人补充水分 加油助威
while the other was hydrating and encouraging.
‎真的太棒了
It was awesome,
‎但说实话 比我想象中更累人
but it was way more exhausting than I thought it would be, to be honest.
‎做到第四或第五小时‎真就精疲力尽了
When you reach hour four and five, you're just running on fumes.
‎完全是靠意志力在打桩
You're hitting that poontang on pure will.
‎-你们今晚还去吗？‎-不了
Are you going back at it tonight? -No, no, no.
‎不可能了 太痛了
Not a chance. Too sore.
‎我老二的皮肤火烧火燎的‎再也经受不住几小时的摩擦了
My dick skin has these crazy burns.
It couldn't handle all those hours of friction.
‎你好 阿尔贾曼
Greetings, Al Jamain.
‎你好 亲爱的丽莎 我的美人
Hello. Habibti Liza, my beautiful.
‎我想确保交货的事宜都准备妥当了
I wanted to make sure everything is in place for the delivery.
‎当然 先生 我们有让你失望过吗？
Yes, sir. Have we ever let you down?
‎没有 我要感谢你们‎为我送来如此多的妻子
No. I can thank you for so many of my wives.
‎我知道
I know.
‎好了 我已经看过所有照片‎了
Okay, I have looked at all the photos.
‎她们都很漂亮
They are all so beautiful.
‎这会是非常艰难的选择
It's going to be very hard to make a choice.
‎跟随自己的心意就好
Just follow your heart
‎组建后宫这件事 没有对错之分
‎丽莎 你确定我不能‎引诱你加入我的后宫吗？
Ah, Liza, are you sure I can't tempt you to join my harem?
‎你绝对会成为我的十大妻子之一
You'd be one of my top-ten wives, definitely.
‎抱歉 阿尔贾曼 条件很诱人 但是…
Sorry, Al Jamain. It's… It is very tempting, but, um…
‎你懂的 我的心思‎都在贩卖♥♥人口上 所以…
you know, my heart is in human trafficking, so…
‎（拍不立得）
‎太耗费时间了
So time-consuming.
‎（准许进入）
‎我不理解 你们为什么会觉得
I don't even understand why you would think
‎在一间多人共用的小屋里放屁‎并不是问题
it is okay to fart in a little room that is being used by multiple people.
‎我很抱歉‎但谁让里面没有放屁风扇呢
I am sorry, but there isn't a fart fan in there.
‎世上根本没有‎放屁风扇这种东西 贡特
There is no such thing as a fart fan, Günther.
‎像正常人一样 去房♥间外面放屁吧
Leave the room and fart like a normal person.
‎是啊 这次我站丽莎这边
Ja, I am actually on Liza's side on this one.
‎我只能道歉了‎但我知道这也无事无补
I can only apologize, but I know it doesn't make things right.
‎我让你失望了 但更重要的是
I let you down, but more importantly,
‎我让自己失望了
I let myself down.
‎（证据33 弗尔船长）
‎（乔纳森弗尔船长 证据）
‎（我和船长一起！）
‎我很荣幸 欢迎各位来参加
It is my great honor to welcome you
‎加勒比海女王的强制泡沫派对！
to the Caribbean Queen's mandatory foam party!
‎祝大家在泡沫里玩得开心！‎我知道我会的
Have fun in the foam! I know I will.
‎（加勒比海女王）
‎她
Her, her, her,
‎还有她
and… her.
‎丽莎！
Ah, Liza!
Mwah, mwah!
‎真不敢相信‎我未来的妻子就躺在她们其中
‎摸摸我的心脏 小鹿乱撞了呢
Feel my heart. It's racing with love!
‎是呢 我看得出来 你们都很激动‎这些就是你选出的前五名
Yes, I can tell you're all giddy. So these are your top five.
Huh.
‎细节决定成败
Uh, the devil is in the details.
‎牙齿很漂亮
Beautiful teeth.
‎可能戴过牙套
Probably wore braces.
‎-补过几颗牙齿‎-仔细检查总是没错的
A few fillings. -You can never be too anal.
‎丽莎 我不喜欢太瘦的
Liza, I don't want them too skinny, huh?