坏猴子（2024）

Bad Monkey S01E07

Part 3 Oct. 4, 2024, 4:48 p.m.

...but only for a moment.
尽管房♥子让他大出血
Even though he was hemorrhaging cash,
埃文仍然有信心能卖♥♥掉它
Evan was confident he'd still sell the house.
他需要拍摄一组新照片以便放上网
He needed new shots for his website,
但他站得不够远无法捕捉到整栋房♥子的壮丽景观
but he just couldn't get back far enough to capture all its glory.
邻居你好
Hi, neighbor!
该死
Fuck.
嘿老兄还好吗
Hey, dude, what's going on?
很高兴听说你不是杀人犯
Glad to hear you're not a murderer.
顺便说一句我已经很久没伤害过任何动物了
By the way, I haven't hurt any animals in a really long time,
如果这是你想知道的事
in case that's what you're wondering.
有只超大的蜘蛛出现过我碰都没碰它
There's a big ass spider. I haven't even touched it
因为它的体积跟飞盘一样大
because it's the size of a fucking Frisbee.
请别打我伙计
Please don't hit me, dude.
你的脸是我在高尔夫球场之外见过的最欠扁的脸
You know, you have the most punchable face I've ever seen not on a golf course.
我不会伤害你的
I'm not gonna hurt you.
好的
Okay.
顺便说一句我的差点是3
I'm a three handicap, by the way.
等我复职后
You know, when I get my badge back,
我会跟一位公务员同事做朋友
I'll make friends with a fellow civil servant,
一旦我给他指出这房♥子违反了所有的建筑条例
and once I point out to him all of the code violations,
等着你的就是很多随机检查
you're gonna be hit with so many random inspections
你也得花上一大笔整修费此外各种官方程序
and expensive fixes and just piles and piles of red tape that,
将让你不仅永远卖♥♥不出这破黄箱子
not only are you never gonna be able to sell this piss-yellow shit box,
还会让你后悔买♥♥下这该死的玩意儿
you're gonna wish that you never even bought the damn thing.
埃文其实已经有点后悔了
Evan already did kinda wish that.
很高兴见到你
Great to see ya.
重回警局的扬西很是兴奋
Yancy was excited to get back to the station.
鲍比你有全辖区最好的发型啊真好看
Bobby, best head of hair in the precinct. Looking good.
克雷格你儿子还好吗
Craig, how's your son?
他大学毕业搬回家住了
Oh, well, you know, he left college and moved back home.
结果发现他神经正常只是不想跟我们说话
Turns out he's neurotypical. Just doesn't want to talk to us.
他见到克雷格并不像见到其他人那样兴奋
He was not as excited to see Craig.
完全是两码事
That's another matter altogether.
克雷格这是客套話正确答案是“他很好”
Craig, it's a pleasantry. The correct answer is, "He's fine."
好再看吧
Fine. We'll see.
天啊克雷格还是那么讨人厌
Oh, man. Craig is still awful.
真不是盖的
No shit.
我得等他离开办公桌才去买♥♥咖啡
I have to wait till he leaves his desk to get coffee.
这就是整件案子的完美呈现
Well, here is the whole case wrapped in a bow.
天啊还真是如假包换的报告
Wow, this is a real report.
我甚至做了拼写检查
I even spell-checked stuff.
我让联调局的人看看好吗
I'll have the Feds take a look at it. Okay?
太好了里面也提到了证实这事的证人内维尔
Great. And the corroborating witness in there, Neville,
在回安德罗斯岛之前他会很乐意接受任何人问话
he would be happy to talk to anyone before he went home to Andros
因为他肯定不是非法进入我们国家
because he definitely did not come into the country illegally
而且他目前也没在我家钓鱼
and he is not currently fishing at my home.
听着知道这事我提了无数次
Look, I know I'm a broken record on this,
但你觉得这案子能让我复职吗
but do you think this helps me get my job back?
如果结案的话肯定没问题
If this pans out, I can't see why not.
这就是我想听的桑尼谢谢你
That's what I wanted to hear, Sonny. Thank you.
好消息克雷格离开了如果你还想喝咖啡的话
Good news. Craig is gone, if you still need that caffeine fix.
这就去 - 好的
That's what I'm talking about. - All right.
内维尔其实已经钓完鱼了
Neville was actually done fishing,
但他被要求至少再钓12分钟
but he was told to keep at it for at least 12 more minutes.
这可真是个有趣的庆祝方式
Well, that was a fun way to celebrate.
我们本来可以出去吃冰淇淋的但我更喜欢这个方式
I mean, I guess we could have gone out for ice cream, but I preferred this.
好的气氛都被你毁了
Okay, you're ruining it.
你要去哪里
Where are you going?
桑尼说如果县委员会看到我
Sonny said it'll be easier to reinstate me
尽责把食物稽查员一职做好那我复职一事将会更容易
if the county commission sees that I am doing my food inspector job.
还有尽管这不是我一贯的作风
And, you know, even though it's not usually my style,
我想还是稍微遵守游戏规则吧
I kind of figured I'll just play the game a little bit more.
对我想我也该去上班了
Yeah, I guess I should go to work too.
不管还会发生什么这是我一天中最美好的时光
Well, no matter what else happens, this was the best part of my day.
别试图浪漫这不是你擅长的
Do not try to be romantic. It's not your thing.
明白
Understood.
怎么不打算亲一下才离开
Excuse me? Where's my goodbye kiss?
这真是自相矛盾令人困惑
Talk about sending mixed messages.
这算不算逢场作戏
I mean, was this just kind of a casual hookup?
你是我的女朋友吗
Are you my steady girl?
闭嘴
Shut up.
我们何不就开心相处先别谈这个
How about we just have fun and not talk about it?
是的不谈这个开心相处就好
Yeah. Stop talking about it. Let's just have fun.
嘿我真的很高兴我们能随性不把事情复杂化
Hey, I'm really glad we can keep this casual and not make a big thing out of it.
我大约十分钟后给你发短♥信♥
I'm gonna text you in about ten minutes.
你如果不回应我就当你和别人拍拖了
If you don't pick up, I'll just assume you're dating someone else.
罗莎甚至都不确定自己是否想谈恋爱
Rosa wasn't even sure she wanted to be in a relationship,
但她知道自己很开心
but she did know she was happy.
而另一方面
Nick, on the other hand,
尼克则一心想着修复一段对他来说非常重要的感情
just wanted to get his most important relationship out of the toilet.
(凯特琳我爱你还好吗 )
别这样亲爱的
Come on, honey.
看看这鬼短♥信♥
Will you look at this shit?
记住《圣经》中关于宽恕是怎么说的亲爱的
Remember what the Bible says about forgiveness, sweetheart.
谢谢你宝贝 - 不客气
Thanks, baby. - Of course.
(凯特琳去死吧你)
你知道我一直在想什么吗
You know what I can't stop thinking about?
那个龙后的肌肤
That Dragon Queen lady's skin.
她会帮忙让岛上的居民乖乖听话
She's gonna help keep the locals in line,
但我们还是有很多事得做
but we still have so much shit to do.
一定得想办法对付扬西这家伙
We definitely need to figure out what to do with this Yancy guy.
他长得一副色情片明星的模样
He's got a real porn star vibe.
他“又到了”
He just keeps coming.
宝贝我刚说了个很好笑的笑话
Babe, I just made a really funny joke.
你究竟在想什么
Where the fuck are you?
抱歉
I'm sorry.
来吧蒂莉我们走真无趣
Come on, Tilly. Let's go. So lame.
随着自己和凯特琳的关系渐行渐远
As Caitlin drifted further and further away,
让尼克感到欣慰的是
Nick was grateful that,
至少今天他太太也不想跟他说话
for today at least, his wife didn't feel like talking to him either.
嗨我很闷
Hey, you. I bored.
旷工吧一起去海滩伙计
Play hooky, and come to the beach, man.
我把吊带衫叠好了...
I finished folding the halter tops--
迪亚到城里一趟给我们买♥♥两杯柠檬饮
Run into town, Drea. Get us two switchas.
这女孩之前对我的态度糟透了
That girl was a little bitch to me.
我昨天看到你和那女开♥发♥商在一起
I saw you yesterday with that developer lady.
别紧张伙计我不过卖♥♥给她一块地
Relax, man. I sell her a piece of land.
迪亚告诉我你从她家偷走了那块地
Drea told me you stole that land from her family.
我说她疯了
I said she was crazy.
告诉我这些都不是真的
Tell me I'm not a liar.
我没必要告诉你什么
I don't have to tell you shit.
你们在背后说我的坏话
Talking trash about me.
不别想转移话题
Uh-uh. Don't try and turn it.
我之所以能说你是因为我们彼此认识很久了
The reason I can call you out is 'cause we have known each other for a long time.
在你进行入会仪式时
When you went through your initiation or whatever,
我是唯一一个留在你身边的人
I was the only one who stayed around.
我不是谢过你了吗
Did I forget to thank you for that?
拜托格雷西
Oh, come on, Gracie--
别再叫我格雷西
Don't bother calling me Gracie no more.
我是龙后
I am the Dragon Queen.
(斯托尼蟹屋)
给我滚
Go away.
真不敢相信你又想让我的餐馆停业
I can't believe you're trying to fucking close me down again.
老实说我很惊讶你居然这么惊讶
If I'm being honest with you, I'm shocked you're shocked.
我们走进厨房♥
I mean, we walked into that kitchen.
那些老鼠连跑都懒得跑
Those rats don't even scurry anymore.
也许是我脑子出了问题
I mean, maybe my mind's playing tricks on me,
但我个子很高
but I'm a tall man,
而当其中一只老鼠踮起后腿它几乎跟我一样高
and one of them got up on its hind legs, and I swear we were eye to eye.
是的我见过那只它可刻薄了它甚至都不是它们的头儿
Yeah, I've seen that one. He's mean. He's not even their leader.
事实上以我们在谈论的
The fact that we're talking about a civilization of rats