坏猴子（2024）

Bad Monkey S01E01

Part 1 Oct. 4, 2024, 4:48 p.m.

钓鱼的故事都有个特点...
So, here's the thing about fishing stories...
总是从船上开始
they always start on a boat.
这是佛罗里达炎热的一天
It was a thick, hot Florida day.
从他昂贵的装备上没法看出
You wouldn't know it from all the expensive gear,
这其实是詹姆斯梅贝里第一次钓鱼
but James Mayberry had never fished before.
锁住了可以了行吗 - 可以吗就是这样
Locked in? I'm good. Is it good? - Good? There you go.
对开始钓吧 - 好了开始吧
Yeah. Let's do it. - All right, here we go.
就如他们所说的第一次总是令人难忘
You know what they say, you always remember your first time.
卢卢易莎亲爱的我还是没有啤酒
Lou! Louisa! Honey, I still don't have that beer.
能给我拿一瓶吗 - 好的
Can we fix that, please? - Okay.
我已经说“好”了
I said okay.
太喜欢蜜月包船了让人感觉温暖
Gotta love a honeymoon charter. Warms the heart.
和你聊天很有趣你真是充满活力
You're fun to talk to. You got a real spark.
鱼上钩了好戏上场了哥们儿
Fish on! Game time, boys!
天啊
Christ.
能让开点吗 - 天啊
Will you give me some space, please? - Geez.
我钓到鱼了看我把它拉上来
I got a fish. I'm getting it.
快拉上来就是它
Get it up. There it is.
对把它拉上船宝贝
Yeah! Bring it in, baby.
搞什么鬼该死 - 我的天啊
What the fuck! Shit! - Oh, my God!
这是什么 - 这不是鱼
What is that? - That's not a fish.
我的天 - 船长这不是鱼
Oh, my God! - Captain, that's not a fish!
是的看见了 - 天啊
Yeah, I see that. - Oh, my God!
唷看看他的手指兄弟 - 恶心
Yo, check out his finger, dude. - Sick!
你觉得呢也许是被鲨鱼咬了我想是大白鲨
What do you think, maybe a shark got him? I'm thinking Great White.
我看过的鲨鱼电影可不少
Seen my fair share of shark shows.
都是这样的前一分钟的你还很轻松一眨眼间就完蛋了
That's how it happens. One minute, you're kicking it. Next minute, boom!
被嚼烂了
Chewed to shit.
得用无线电通知海岸警卫队
I gotta radio the Coast Guard.
你去通知我要给朋友发短♥信♥ 马戈肯定会被吓得尿裤子
You do that. I'm gonna text my friends. Muggo's gonna shit his pants.
我们从事的是创造回忆的事业
We're in the memory-making business.
真好
Oh, yeah.
(中西部移♥动♥医疗)
安德鲁扬西的手♥机♥整个上午都在响
Andrew Yancy's cell phone had been ringing all morning,
但他完全不理会今天的天气太好了
but he had chosen to ignore it. It was too nice a day.
他这人很简单所以他享受简单的快乐
He was a simple man, and as such, he enjoyed simple pleasures.
偶尔喝上一杯好酒坐在椅子上看风景
A good drink now and then. A chair with a view.
最重要的是有个可以称之为家的地方
And most importantly, a place to call home.
这一切就是他的心头爱
He loved damn near all of it.
他甚至不介意偶尔“到访”...
He didn't even mind the occasional uninvited visitor
啃咬他的灌木的不速之客
that munched on his bushes.
这是他的人间乐土
This was his happy place.
扬西你难道从不接电♥话♥吗
Yancy, you ever answer your phone?
别紧张大声公
Easy, loud feet.
看看那边的帅小伙儿
Look at this handsome guy over here.
这些动物身上满是虱子
Those things are covered in ticks.
老天
Jesus.
最近周围的建筑工程也太多了
You know, there's so much construction around nowadays
以至于礁岛鹿几乎都不怎么来了
that the Key deer barely even come around.
这破房♥子竟然这么大我要把它给烧了
Can you believe the size of that dump? I'm gonna burn it down.
别把它烧了
Don't burn it down.
我会确保里面没人但肯定会烧的
I'll make sure no one's inside, but it's gonna burn.
好吧你要烧就烧桑尼想你尽快开车去趟迈阿密
Okay. Burn it down. Sonny wants you to take a quick road trip to Miami.
县规是不超过11米而这破烂货有14米高
The county code is 35 feet, and this shitheap here is 45 feet.
这里是礁岛群老兄没人遵守建筑规范
It's the Keys, bro. No one follows the building code.
好了你去迈阿密办点警♥察♥事务
Okay, you, Miami, a little police business.
快手快脚地快去快回 - 我没法去罗
In and out. - I can't do it, Ro.
严格来说我已经不是警探了
I'm technically not even a detective anymore.
我们真有必要就此事来回周♥旋♥
Do we really have to do this dance?
谁在周♥旋♥ 没人在这么做
Who's dancing? There's no dance.
我被停职了什么...我怎么周♥旋♥了
I'm suspended. What-- How am I dancing?
不就是...这来来回♥回♥的 - 没有来来回♥回♥
No, it's the, like-- The back-and-forth. - There's no back-and-forth.
我的兄弟你非常希望能复职对吗
My brother, you want your job back very badly, right?
是的 - 我车里有样东西
Yes. - Well, I've got something in my car
是县警长想让你送去迈阿密的
that the sheriff wants you to drive to Miami.
看看我我就快睡着了
Look at me, I'm falling asleep.
我太累了 - 是的我知道你有自尊心
I'm so tired. - Yeah. I know you have your pride.
所以如果你想花一分钟的时间
So, if you wanna pretend for a minute
假装不想做这个差事那倒也行
that you don't wanna do this errand, that's fine.
但别让我在这里一直无所事事地站着
But don't make me stand around here for fucking ever holding my dick.
他们不能停我职后又期待我办事
People can't suspend me and then expect things from me.
不能这样 - 随你便
It's not how it works. - Whatever.
这是巴班古朗姆酒对吧
That's Barbancourt. Right?
很庆幸是的
Thankfully, yes.
但很遗憾我没杯子给你
But I unfortunately don't have a glass for you.
把你这杯给我
I'll take yours.
在扬西被停职之前他和罗是工作搭档
Before he got suspended, Yancy and Ro were partners,
真的有时候这甚至比结婚还糟
and hell, sometimes that's even worse than being married.
多年来罗已经学会了如何让他的这位朋友就范
Over the years, Ro had learned how to get exactly what he wanted from his friend.
只需要一点耐心
All it took was a little patience.
车里的到底是什么
So what's in the car?
坏猴子
第一季第一集

他们就只发现这个
That's all they found?
不兄弟头在副驾座上
No, man, the head's in the passenger seat.
如果你脾气暴躁不想回答
If you're too grouchy to answer the question,
就说“我脾气暴躁不想回答”
just say, "I'm too grouchy to answer."
无需说“头在副驾座上”
Don't have to hit me with the "head in the passenger seat."
他说已经交给验尸官了
It's already been over to the coroner. He says
死者是一名45岁左右的白人男性
the vic was a "white male, mid-40s."
他说这比中指姿势应该可能只是“凑巧的尸僵姿势”
Says that the middle finger thing was probably just "random rigor mortis."
他还拿着它照了张相
He still took a picture with it.
真是个笨蛋
Such a dipshit.
娜塔莉的足球赛要开始了我要迟到了
I'm late for Natalia's soccer game.
我当然很想去
I would absolutely love to come,
不过看儿童们踢足球
except I would rather do literally anything
那我宁可做其他任何事但我明白的
other than watch children play soccer. But I got it.
嘿帮我个忙
Hey, do me a favor.
别在场边指导不许发飙和大喊大叫
No coaching from the sideline, not getting hot and yelling.
我知道你是波多黎各人但尽量吧
I know you're Puerto Rican, but do your best.
你确定要把它晾在外头一晚上兄弟这可是证物
You sure you wanna leave it out there all night? Shit's evidence, man.
谁会偷胳膊
Who's gonna jack an arm?
我不知道也许浣熊会它们有小指头
I don't know, raccoons? They got those little fingers.
又来了把它拿进去就是了
Here we go. We're taking it in.
谢谢 - 好不客气
Thank you. - Yep. You got it.
到了迈阿密给我打电♥话♥
Call me when you get to Miami.
我听不见你说什么我们已经说完了
I can't hear you. I'm already done talking with you.
就像我说的他俩就像一对夫妻
Like I said, just like a married couple.
爱你
Love you.
(基韦斯特县警长办公室)
安德鲁我不能收下这胳膊
Andrew, I can't have that arm here.
这样的“负面宣传”会影响生意
Negative publicity like this, not good for business.
这会损害旅游业 - 胡说八道桑尼
It'll hurt tourism. - That's horseshit, Sonny.
县警长是一个名叫桑尼萨默斯的当地乡下人
The sheriff was a local bubba named Sonny Summers.
他能成为县警长是因为他是唯一没被联邦政♥府♥拘留的候选人
He won office 'cause he was the only candidate not in federal custody.
首先那只漂浮胳膊并不会影响旅游业
First of all, that floating arm can't hurt tourism.
没什么能阻止这些白♥痴♥们出海的
Nothing's gonna keep these fucking idiots out of the water.
里肯巴克堤道的海滩到处都是未经处理的污水
That beach on the Rickenbacker Causeway is filled with raw sewage.
人们还是天天到那里泡在屎汤里游泳桑尼
People are still out there every day just swimming in shit, Sonny.
听着这不一样好吗
Look, this is different, okay?
那个钓上那胳膊的家伙已经把照片发在社交媒体上
The clown who reeled in the damn thing already posted a pic on social media.
(詹姆斯今天的大收获)
该死的我要在这件事未发臭前处理它
Goddamn it. I'm gonna nip this in the butt.
是“发酵” 对吧在事情未发酵前处理
Bud, right? You nip things in the bud.
也许你能做到需要你把那只胳膊弄走
Maybe you do. I need that arm gone.
桑尼那胳膊漂流到这里的可能性非常之小
Sonny, the odds of that limb floating down here are pretty fucking slim.
墨西哥湾暖流是向北流的
The Gulf Stream flows north.
对废话我生于此地
No, duh. I was born here.
万一迈阿密不接收这胳膊呢
What if Miami doesn't take the arm?
说服他们
Persuade them.
最重要的是我明天会宣布
Bottom line, tomorrow I'm announcing
调查工作已经移交给
that the investigation has been turned over to the authorities