地狱天使（2016）

- We're out of beer. - We're out of beer.
多拿啤酒来 爱爱也快来 是吧
Get some more beer. Love is in the air, huh?
抱歉 是的
Oh, sorry, yeah.
我要两箱铁锚牌蒸气啤酒送到
I need two cases of Anchor Steam delivered to...
奇了怪了
Weird.
不 不是说你 不
Uh, no, not you. No.
两箱铁锚牌蒸气啤酒送到...
Two cases of Anchor Steam delivered to...
我的幸运手链
My clover charm?
奇怪
Weird.
嘿
Hey.
- 嗨 - 你的幸运手链是不是丢了
- Hi. - Hey, are you missing your clover charm?
我们在爱尔兰买♥♥的那个
The one we got in Ireland?
是啊 你怎么知道的
Yeah. How'd you know?
因为它在伊文的办公室里
Because it was in Evan's office.
在他的沙发上
On his couch.
伊文和我搞一起了
Evan and I hooked up.
天哪 我很抱歉
God, I'm so sorry.
- 什么 - 什么?!
- What? - What?!
是在我们一起做视频的时候发生的
It happened when we were making the video.
事情失控了 我发誓再也不会发生了
Things got out of hand. I promise it'll never happen again.
- 你认真的? - 你认真的?!
- Seriously? - Seriously?!
你先别说了 布莱德
Not your moment, Brad.
- 你在跟我开玩笑吗? - 你在跟我开玩笑吗?!
- Are you kidding me? - Are you kidding me?
不不不 我
No-no-no. I-I...
我们没有搞一起
We did not hook up.
好吧 确实有 但是
Okay, I did, but...
给我一分钟解释一下
just give me one minute to explain.
解释哪部分
Which part?
是你出轨的部分
The cheating or the-the making me feel horrible
还是让我误会你出轨而感到内疚那部分
for accusing you of cheating while you were cheating?
好吧 这次搬家给我带来很多问题
All right, this move-in has brought up a lot of issues for me.
- 什么问题 - 好吧 好
- What issues? - Okay, uh, well, uh,
首先 我们俩是两类人
first of all, uh, we're very different people.
- 好 - 因为我非常高冷
- Oh, okay. - 'Cause I'm super chill
但是你 你很热情
but you, you're so intense.
而且你不是在打电♥话♥ 就是在办公室
Plus you're always on the phone or you're at the office.
我们在一起之后你几乎每个周末
You have literally worked about every weekend
都在工作
since we have been together.
好吧 我俩总得有人工作赚钱啊
Well, somebody's got to work around here.
终于说出口了
So there it is.
你不相信我的商业计划能成功
You don't believe in my business plan.
你是说那个能给你照片上人的皮肤
An app where you can choose different skin colors
选择不同颜色的应用吗
for your photos?
这就像是班尼顿
Uh, it's like Benetton.
班尼顿 : 全球知名的优闲服装品牌
好吧 它能打破种族肤色差异
Okay, it promotes tolerance.
就是让人们扮成黑人
It promotes blackface.
不 才不是 它
No, it-it doesn't. It...
好吧 我们得冷静下来
Okay, we're just gonna need to cool things off here
在我们说些后悔终生的话之前先冷静下来吧
before someone says something they're going to regret.
好 那 这个怎么样
Oh, okay, well, how about this?
你从这离开 再也别回来怎么样
How about leave and never come back?
我认真的 你走
I'm serious. Go.
我正打算走
I'm going to go.
这就是我说的 对
That's what I said. Yeah.
然后我也说了
And then I said it.
我的天
Oh, my God.
呃 嗨 各位
Uh, yeah, hi. Uh, everybody,
这派对是在庆祝我分手
the, um, party celebrating my relationship
现在都分手你 你们慢走
ended when my relationship ended.
都听到她说的了吧 大家 散了吧散了吧
You heard her, folks! Move it or lose it!
好吧 谢谢 再见
Okay. Thanks. Bye.
孩子
Oh, kiddo.
我听到他欺骗了我但我不愿意相信
I heard he was cheating and I didn't want to believe it.
你值得拥有比他好更多倍的男人
You deserve so much better than him.
- 谢谢你 爸爸 - 爱你 孩子
- Thanks, Dad. - Love you, kiddo.
太吓人了
So creepy.
我正打算把盘子拿走
I was just going to leave the plate,
但是我想 谁会吃放在路边的露营食物 对吧
but I thought, x80x9cWho eats unattended camp food, huhx80x9d
告诉你 这是有史以来最好的烤棉花糖饼干
FYI, best s'more ever.
现在是个星期天的早晨
Well, here it is on a Sunday morning
医生在这里
and the doctor is in.
我个人见解 这简直是悲剧
nerdialence.
听着 我不知道你是怎么知道的
Look, I don't know how you knew
但你真的知道
but you knew.
伊文和吉尔确实有一腿
Evan and Jill were hooking up.
你是对的 好好骂我一翻吧
You were right, go ahead, throw it in my face.
对不起 孩子
Aw, sorry, kid.
那肯定不好受
That must feel terrible.
确实
It does.
来 吃一口
Here, take a bite.
没有人给我做烤棉花糖饼干
Nobody's made me s'mores
- 自从我是小孩以来 - 自从你是个小女孩以来
- since I was a kid... - Since you were a little girl.
-你妈妈以前做这些给你 -是啊 我妈以前
Your mom used to make them for you. -Yeah, my mom used to...
她以前常常做给我当我…
She used to make them for me whenever I
她以前做给你…
She used to make them for you...
好吧 能让我一个人怀旧一下吗
Okay, can I please finish a nostalgic thought.
当然
Sure.
她过去做这些
She... used to make them
给我只是因为
for me just because.
她说是 我做我自己的回报
She called it my reward for being me.
每几个月她都会拿一盘来给我当作惊喜
She'd surprise me with a plate every few months.
这就是我做这个的原因
That's why I made the s'more.
我想让你回忆起那段被爱的时光
I wanted to remind you of a time when you felt really loved.
好吧 这可不是我现在的感觉
Well... that is not how I feel now.
可悲的派对 但你的人生会展开新一页
Pity party, your table's ready.
什么 我才刚分手呢
What? I barely got choked up.
你知道你的问题是什么吗
Do you know what your problem is?
你照顾好了每一个人 唯独少了你自己
You take care of everybody but yourself,
这就吸引了那些占小便宜的人
and that attracts people who take advantage.
我是说 你一直在支持你的男朋友
I mean, you basically supported your boyfriend,
你还让你的弟弟睡在你的车♥库♥
your let your brother sleep in your garage.
你想说什么
What is your point?
为他人而活只会无疾而终
Living for others never end well.
这只会榨干♥你♥ 亲爱的
It drains you, honey.
现在 吃一口
Now, take a bite.
真是不可思议
That's amazing.
看看这个笑容
Look at that smile, huh?
这才是开心的孩子会有的笑容
That's the smile of a happy kid, huh?
活在当下
Living in the moment,
不要顾忌大家的期望
free from everybody's expectations.
镇定点
Settle down.
给我点私人空间
Personal space.
艾里逊 我能帮助你
Oh, Allison, I could help you.
你只是需要有人来唠叨你
You just need somebody to nudge you,
来说 放下电♥话♥
to say, get off the phone,
在工作日来杯玛格丽特 找点乐子
have a weekday margarita, have some fun,
跟陌生人来搞一♥夜♥情♥ 爽翻天
let some random guy take you to O-town.
除了一♥夜♥情♥外 其他我都同意
Oh, I was with you right up until the end.
你不仅仅是值得拥有幸福和被爱的
Ah, you don't just deserve to be happy and to be loved.
这是你与生俱来的权利
It's your birthright.
我希望你什么都不缺
And I want nothing less for you.
你可能甚至会说
You might even say...
这是我的使命
it's my mission in life.
但是
But...
如果这些天使什么的你感觉很离奇 我明白
if all this angel stuff is too bizarre for you, I understand,
我懂 而我就离开吧
I get it... and I'll leave you alone.
慢慢的走
Walk very slowly...
以防万一 如果她要改变想法呢
just in case she wants to change her mind.
并不是说 我相信你是个天使
It's not that I believe you're an angel.
- 但是...? - 但是
- But...? - But...