地狱天使（2016）

and it's a little weird.
他是不是总是这样
Is he always like this?
紧张兮兮的像条吉娃娃
Shaking with worry like a little Chihuahua?
你在干啥呢
What's happening?
你的女儿已经
Your daughter is
已经挺不错了
just... fine.
还有 你可不可以告诉我你的休息室在哪里
And, now, if you'll kindly direct me to your restroom,
我要在你的水槽那里稍微清洗一下
I'd like to take a little birdbath in your sink.
那边
That way.
你是什么时候开始跟穿背心的
When did you start palling around
牡蛎小贩当朋友的
with an oyster peddler in a vest?
她帮我发现了伊文在背着我搞外遇
She did help me find out that Evan was cheating on me.
我认为她出身应该还是挺好的
I think she comes from a good place.
她上厕所都不关门的哎
She's going to the bathroom with the door open.
我去 不好意思
Oops! My bad!
我都忘了我身在比佛利山庄了
Forgot we were in Beverly Hills.
- 你这儿咋回事 - 谢谢光临
- What's going on? - Thanks for coming by.
请坐下
Have a seat.
好
Okay.
目前你今天过得怎么样
How's your day so far?
听着 我有一个坏消息
Listen, I got some rough news,
要当面告诉你
and I want to tell you in person.
我签约租了一间新公♥寓♥
I signed a lease on a new apartment.
- 我要搬出去了 - 那很好啊
- I'm moving out. - That's great.
对我来说很好 但最近你也不太好过
Yes. For me. But things have been so brutal for you.
你男友背着你劈腿
With your boyfriend cheating on you.
还是和你最好的朋友 还是在你家里
With your best friend. In your own house.
我只知道 布莱德大哥哥在这 你很有安全感
I just know that you-you felt safe with Big Bro Brad here.
我唯一一次被吓到是那天夜里你看到一只蝙蝠
The only time I was scared was the night you screamed
吓得嗷嗷尖叫
when you saw a bat.
我没有尖叫 我是在干扰它的声纳
I wasn't screaming. I was scrambling its sonar.
有蝙蝠
Bat.
- 拿扫帚 - 你们好啊
- Get the broom. - Hello!
原来你在这儿
Oh. Hey, there you are.
嘿 艾里逊 你知道的
Hey there, Allison. You know,
今天吃中饭的时候忘带钱包
I felt terrible about forgetting my wallet
真是太糟了 所以我想来看看你
today at our lunch, so I wanted to come by,
送上这些花聊表谢意
give you these flowers to say thank you.
你想得真周到
That's so thoughtful.
所以这里就是神鬼也不来的车♥库♥啊
So, this is where the magic doesn't happen.
我知道了
I get it.
不再是了 我就搬出去了
Not anymore. I'm moving out.
不错 那么 你是要摆脱
Good for you. So, you're escaping the
单身狗的命运
vortex of celibacy.
够了
That's enough.
我也不会对你住的地方说什么
I don't take shots at where you live.
- 你住哪 - 就在这儿的南边
- Where do you live? - Just south of here.
有看门人的豪华大楼
Gorgeous doorman building,
超时髦 住的全都是名流
very hip, full of beautiful people.
你知道什么东西能给这个地方助助兴吗
Hey, you know what might help the vibe in this place?
一个巨手形的椅子
One of those chairs shaped like a giant hand.
知道么
You know?
而且我觉得
And I think
应该正好能通过这个门
it would just fit through.
是不是交友软件上有速配对象
Do we have a match on your dating app?
事实上 对 是有一个
Actually, yes. Yes, we do.
这人看起来很有趣
And this one looks interesting.
他在市里工作 是一名辩护律师
He works downtown. He's a defense attorney.
听起来很有前途 右划同意
Sounds promising. Swipe right for yes.
不过 等等
Though, hold the phone
嗯
You are.
他喜欢喝晚收马尔贝克干红葡萄酒
He likes a late harvest Malbec.
算是个驳回的理由 我不喜欢
Could be a douche. No, I'm out.
左划拒绝 可是他热爱阅读
Swiping left. Though he loves reading.
主要是科幻小说
Mostly science fiction.
你小妹当机了 怎样重启
Your sister just froze. How do we reboot her?
我来
I got this.
老兄 杯垫
Dude, coaster.
我们现在有一名老爱多想的绝症患者
what we have here is a terminal case of overthinking.
唯一的疗法就是 一晚上什么都不要想
And the only cure? A night of underthinking.
你今晚跟我出去
You and I are going out tonight.
今晚不行 我说好了和爸爸打牌
I can't tonight. No, I have cribbage with my dad.
从来没有人说过自己喜欢打牌
Oh, I love cribbage is something no one has ever said.
和我一起去个小酒吧 叫
Go out with me to a little club called
奥拉
Aura.
奥拉 我们不能去那儿
Aura? Yeah, we can't get in there.
我认识那儿的保安 放心 能去
I know the bouncer. Yes, we will.
艾里逊 随心而行
Allison, go with your gut.
来一个史诗式的女生之夜怎样
What do you say to an epic ladies' night out?
去吧去吧
Do it. Do it. Do it.
这有助于你转移注意力 不再想我搬走的事
It'll help you take your mind off me moving.
- 好的 去 - 对嘛
- Oh, uh, yes! Yes. - Yes!
不 我不能失约于我爸爸
No, I can't bail on my dad.
已经定了 致电马文
Uh, it's already happening. Go for Marv.
- 嘿 宝贝 - 嗨 爸爸
- Hey, sweetie. - Hi, uh, Dad.
告诉你个不幸的消息 我得取消今晚的活动
I've got some bad news. I'm gonna have to cancel tonight.
- 我 - 随心而行
- I... - Go with your gut.
是我...心脏出事
I... It's my gut.
我得了心漏症
I have leaky gut.
- 你太不擅长撒谎了 - 对
- Wow, you're terrible at this. - Yes.
绝对是那些牡蛎引起的
That's 110% oyster-related.
我知道
I know.
他们只是看起来挺好
They just looked so good.
对 我吃了一个甲板上的
Yeah, I had one out on the deck
就我自己 大约6:19的时候
by myself. Around 6:19.
赶快聊完走人
Wrap it up.
好的 爸爸 我得 我得走了
Okay, Dad, I got to... I got to go.
办公室见
I'll see you at the office.
那么晚上的狂欢正式开始
And so the night begins.
好了 艾里逊 今晚你准备穿什么出去
All right, Allison, what are you gonna wear out tonight?
不要考虑那么多 开动
Don't think about it. Go.
衣橱里那件红色的连体裤
The red jumpsuit in the back of my closet.
- 赞成 - 不 我不能穿连体裤
- Yes! - No, I can't pull off a jumpsuit.
没人能穿
No one can.
太可笑了 那就像成人穿的连体衣
They're ridiculous. They're like adult onesies.
但你的心说要穿
But the gut has spoken.
接下来 左手的止痛药 还是右手的止痛药
Next, left-handed painkiller or right-handed painkiller?
- 都不 - 随便你
- Neither. - Suit yourself.
嗨起来
Rock and roll!
好吧
Okay. All right.
有事打我电♥话♥
Have my phone.
伏特加还是龙舌兰 直接选
Vodka or tequila? Go!
伏特加
Vodka!
- 舞池 - 走着
- Dance floor! - Okay!
好了 牛女 接下来得给你找个男人
All right, cowgirl, we need to find you a man.
你喜欢什么样的 不要想 就是选
What are you into? Don't think about it. Go.
大屁♥股♥ 我是屁♥股♥控 我都不知道
Great ass! I'm an ass girl. I had no idea.
我来搞定 现在 你想
I'm on it. Now, do you want to
见识见识现实生活中的约会程序吗
see a dating app in real life?
你说 我来替你左划右划
You tell me, and I will swipe right or left
好吗 相信你的直觉 开始
for you, okay? Trust your gut. Let's go!
不行
No.
也不行
Nope.
我叫艾里逊
I'm Allison.
嗨 我叫道格 我们见过吗
Hi. I'm Doug. Have we met?
天哪
Oh, my God.
你就是在交友软件上和我速配成功的那个
You're the guy I got matched with on my dating app.
真是太巧了 难以置信
What a bizarre coincidence!
这里并没有所谓的巧合
here's no such thing as a coincidence.
这是百分百纯粹的天使魔法
This is 100% pure, uncut angel magic.
现在 接受这个家伙吗