地狱天使（2016）

公园里发生了什么
What happened in the park?
呃 警♥察♥来的时候我在找你
Well, I was looking for you when the cops came,
但我没找到
but I couldn't find you,
然后那个和我一起的男人把我送回了家
so this guy I was talking to gave me a ride home.
男人 我们还没堕落到那个地步 是吧
A guy? We're not slipping, are we?
因为你刚决定要做自己的主人
Because you just dedicated yourself to be on your own,
自食其力
to work on your issues.
我可没这么说过
Never said that.
放轻松
And relax.
我并没有坠入爱河
I'm not falling in love.
达伦和我只是喝了杯咖啡
Darren and I are just having coffee.
等等 达伦
Wait, Darren?
这个达伦姓什么
What's Darren's last name?
詹森 我想是
Jensen, I think.
达伦·詹森 天哪
Darren Jensen, oh, my God.
这是场灾难
This is a disaster.
- 为什么 - 这事麻烦了
- Why? - I screwed up huge.
我的意思是 我可能会因此失去和你的联♥系♥
I mean, it's bad enough that I lost track of you.
有什么乱七八糟的快说 我要睡觉了
Just say the crazy thought so I can go to bed.
达伦·詹森是你的真命天子
Darren Jensen is your soulmate.
这不错啊
There's the Nutter Butter.
但你应该在一年之后
And you weren't supposed to meet him
遇见他
for another year.
愈讲愈乱了
Oh, double-stuffed.
我不敢相信我就这么让你遇见了真命天子
Oh, I can't believe I let you meet your soulmate.
该死的 艾米
Ah, damn it, Amy!
这是天使101紧急情况
This is Angeling 101.
好啦 冷静点 即使达伦是我的真命天子
Okay, calm down. Look, even if Darren were my soulma...
没什么即使 他就是
There is no "if"
你想看看证明文件么
Would you like to see the paperwork?
- 想 - 很不幸它在宾馆里
- Yes. - Well, sadly it was destroyed
被香烟点着烧掉了
in a cigarillo fire in the guesthouse.
回去后我应该给那里装个烟雾探测器
Love to get a smoke detector back there.
那次差点引起火灾
It was a close call.
艾米 作为朋友
Amy, as a friend,
我找到了合适的人你难道不高兴么
wouldn't you be happy for me if I met the perfect guy?
不 在开始一段新关系之前
No, you have a mountain of issues to work on
你还有很多问题要解决
before you can get in another relationship.
你甚至都还没准备好和普通人约会
You're not even ready to date a regular guy,
更别说你的真命天子了
much less your soulmate.
"很多问题" 你指的是什么
"Mountain of issues" ? What are you talking about?
其一 你对批评反应过度
Well, for one, you overreact to criticism.
你也还没学会如何放松
Also you don't know how to relax.
你总是摆者一张臭脸
You have sneezing bitch face.
最重要的是
And most importantly
为了你未来关系的健康考虑
for the health of your future relationships,
你要学会信任他人
you have unresolved trust issues.
我知道了 你是担心我开始和别人约会
Oh, I get it, you're worried if I start dating somebody,
就没人陪你玩了
you're gonna lose your skating buddy.
拜托 有很多人可以陪我玩
Oh, please, I have plenty of skating buddies.
比如首席法官 火箭队和其他贝弗利山的富豪
I have CJ, Rocket and the rest of the Beverly Hills Blitz Crew.
贝弗利山 美国富豪聚居地
好吧
Okay.
只是喝杯咖啡 可以吗
It is just coffee, all right?
我保证我们还会一起出去压马路
I promise you we will still be able to hang out.
好吧
You know what
我听你的
I hear you.
这不像你的风格
That doesn't seem like you.
你只管去约会好了
You go out on your date
我会给你们私人空间的
and I will give you your space.
好的
Okay.
好了 待会见
All right, I'll see you soon.
- 玩得开心 - 好的
- Have fun, okay? - Okay.
- 好的 孩子 - 好
- All right, kid. - Okay.
我想我是唯一一个8岁以上
Okay, I thought I was the only person
还喜欢泡泡糖冰淇淋的人
over the age of eight who liked bubblegum ice cream.
不止 我叫达伦 32岁 最爱泡泡糖冰淇淋
Nope. Name's Darren, I'm 32 and I love it.
好了 该我问了
Okay, my turn.
你最喜欢的电影是什么
Uh, what's your favorite movie?
- 摇摆者 - 天哪 我也爱死那部电影了
- Swingers. - Oh, my God! I love that movie.
好吧 现在你是不是要说
Okay, no. Now you're gonna tell me
它也激励你学了摇摆舞
it inspired you to take swing dancing classes, too?
我真这么做了
It totally did.
我还穿过阻特装
And I may have worn a zoot suit
阻特装 40年代流行于爵士音乐迷的服装
去参加中等学校的周♥年♥庆♥典
to my secondary school jubilee.
- 那还是我在澳洲的毕业典礼 - 什么
- That's the Aussie prom. - What?
不是吧 天呐
No way. Oh, come on.
这太巧了 世界真小
This is so random. What a small world.
天哪
Oh, my God.
- 艾米 真是惊喜 - 我知道
- Amy, what a surprise. - I know!
我只是一个人在这棵树后面野餐
I was just having a one-on-none picnic behind this tree...
然后你们就从这经过了
and you guys just walked up!
达伦·詹森
Darren Jensen.
第一次是在枕头大战上
First you're at the pillow fight,
现在你又到公园里了
now you're at the park...
这家伙是有正经工作的人么
Does this guy have a job?
我只是开个玩笑
Ah, I'm just bustin' your acorns.
你怎么知道我名字的
How do you know my name?
这位是艾米
This is Amy.
她住在我家后屋
She lives in my back house.
我说 我的乡村肉酱做多了一个人吃不完
Listen, I made way too much pate for one person.
然后有什么能比半磅乡村肉酱
And what goes better with hot coffee
更配得上热咖啡呢
than half a pound of pate?
我想我们对鹅肝的态度是一样的
I think we're good on the goose liver.
是 不太喜欢
Yeah, not my favorite.
来一个吧 张嘴
Come on. Open up.
- 啊... - 不试试吗
- Uh... - Really?
- 打住 打住 - 啊 吃吧
- Nah, nah. - Aw, come on.
艾米
Amy!
你在这儿做什么
What are you doing here,
和...这么近
so close to, uh, mmm!
艾里逊 达伦 这是小李
Allison, Darren, this is Lee.
他在 呃 商贸业工作
He works in the, uh, business industry.
听起来挺正经的啊
That seems legit.
等等 你们俩是在约会吗
Wait, are you two on a date?
算是吧
Sort of.
我们在喝咖啡
Yeah, uh, coffee.
艾美 坐双轮马车吗
Oh. Amy, sidecar?
双轮马车 噢 好啊
Sidecar. Oh.
这是个商贸术语
It's a business industry term.
- 这里面有什么 - 什么都没有
- What's in that pate? - Nothing!
只有鹅肝和可待因
Nothing but goose liver and codeine.
可待因 什么 你想把他们放倒吗
Codeine? What, you trying to knock them out?
呃 可待因确实会这样
Hm. Yeah. That's codeine.
只是再确认一下而已
Just double-confirming.
他是她的真命天子啊 小李
He's her soulmate, Lee.
什么 艾里逊还没有准备好
What? Allison's not ready for that.
她现在还没从上一段感情中走出来
She's still emotionally incapacitated
现在还是感情无力的小羔羊
from her last relationship.
我知道 小李 这就是为什么
I know, Lee. That's why I have to
我要在他们接吻之前拆散他们
break them up before they kiss.
因为一旦他们做了
Because once they do that,
他们就相亲成功了
they're on the relationship train,
除非他们能够走到最后
and instead of this thing lasting a lifetime,
否则一定会在半年内掰了
it blows up in six months.
文件里都是这样写的吗
And that's all in the paperwork?
因为我还挺想看看的
Because I'd like to see that.
好吧 可悲的是 现在有点紧急 小李
Well, sadly, there was a fire, Lee.
所以别挡我的路
Now get out of my way!
他们走了 他们很可能跑去接吻了
They're gone! Ooh, they probably went off to smooch!