周末生日游（2018）

别做个小猫咪 胆小鬼
Don't be a pussy,motherfucker.
你行的
You've got it!
好吧 你把乳液涂在你的皮肤上 看 宝贝
"All right, you put the lotion on your skin, look, baby.
懂我意思吗 在皮肤上 不好意思
All right? On its skin, 'scuse me.
好吧 你得好好地擦
All right? You rub it in real good.
你把它擦一遍
All over, you rub it in.
不然就又会变软了
Or else you're gonna get the hose again."
就酱 你知道的吧 就这么简单
It's just, you know,it's simple.
你知道的吧
You know?
-很好 -是啊 太好了 伙计
- That's good. - That was great, man.
我喜欢你
I like you.
好吧 好吧 来吧
Okay. Okay, come on.
让我们再来玩另一个游戏 呃
Let's, uh... Let's play another fucking game, uh...
好 请吧
Yes! Please.
能不能... 给我一杯啤酒
Can I...? Give me a beer.
是啊 是啊 去他妈的那个游戏
Yeah, yeah. Fuck that game.
让我们玩个新的
Let's play a new game.
你 呃……那个什么来着
You, uh...What's that fucking, uh...?
哦 呃……什么都不说
Oh, uh... Talk about nothing!
-就是那个维♥基♥百♥科♥的游戏 -对对对
- The Wikipedia game. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
胡说八道
Talking without knowing!
-胡编乱造 -对 就是胡说八道
- Talk about knowing. - Talk without knowing!
你玩过这个游戏吗 泰勒
You ever played this game? Tyler.
基本上是 我们给你一个主题 诸如此类
Basically, we give you a subject, something like that,
然后你开始就它胡扯
and then you've got to bullshit it.
但你必须尽可能地说得专业点
But you've got to sound a professional as possible.
即使你真的不知道 你也要假装
Even if you don't know it,you've got to pretend
-你知道并相信自己说的胡话 -好的
- that you know your shit. - Okay!
罗迪 变性
Roddy, sex change.
变性 变性 变性
Sex change? Sex change, sex change.
变性主要是和阴蒂有关
So we're dealing with the clitoris,
由于荷尔蒙激素的作用 它会充血
which is already engorged,because of the hormones,
但是我们可以通过皮肤移植
but we've further enhanced the new penis
来增强新造的阴♥茎♥
with a graft of skin taken from the body,
最好是从一个没有毛发的地方取皮
preferably from a place with no hair.
做好了一个大阴♥茎♥后
Make the bigger penis
如果你愿意的话 我们可以把阴♥唇♥
and then we take the labia
做成一个阴囊
and form it into a ball sack,if you will.
最后大功告成了
And voilà.
-一个新的阴♥茎♥ -你是个天才
- A new penis. - You're a genius!
-太棒了 -谢谢
- Bravo! - Thank you.
-好的 好的 -很优秀
- All right, all right. - Beautiful.
谢谢夸奖 谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you,thank you.
你作弊了吗 你在维♥基♥百♥科♥上查过吗
Did you cheat? Did you look it up on Wikipedia?
到你啦 到你啦
I got you, I got you.
嘿 嘿 嘿 泰勒
Hey! Hey! Hey! Tyler!
泰勒
Tyler!
黑洞
Black holes.
-噢喔 -黑洞
- Ooh! - Black holes.
-这很好 这很好 -德格拉斯
- This is good. This is good. - DeGrasse.
-他是谁 -我不...... 我一点都不懂 伙计
- Who's his name? - I'm not... I don't even understand, man.
-尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森啊 老兄 -尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森
- Neil DeGrasse Tyson, dude. - Neil DeGrasse Tyson!
学他讲讲黑洞 你看过他那本书吗
Sound like that motherfucker. You seen that shit?
不用了 伙计 我不...... 不玩了
I'm good, man, I don't...I'm good.
我给我的狗也取了那名字
That's why I named my dog that shit.
-我不打算玩这个了 -来吧
- I'm gonna sit this one out. - Come on!
-我为什么就不能不玩呢 -泰勒
- Why can't I just sit this one out? - Tyler!
-这很有趣的 -拜托 我们都是他妈的
- That's a fun one. - Come on, we all fucking,
要让我们看起来都像傻瓜 伙计
we all looking like jackasses, man.
这他妈的才是关键
That's the whole fucking point.
来吧 这是一个有趣的话题 真的 就玩吧
Come on, it's a fun subject. This is a fun one, just do it.
呃 好的 嗯
Um, okay. Um...
黑洞
Black holes.
黑洞是......在
Black holes are a...a place in...
-在太空里的 -嗯
- in space... - Yeah?
在空间与下一个黑暗空间相遇 然后……
...where space meets the next space of dark, and...
很好 继续 加油 加油 加油
It's good, keep going. Come on, come on, come on!
作为一艘宇宙飞船 它 这太......我不知道了
As a spaceship, it...This is so s... I don't know
不是的 你说得很好 伙计
No, you're doing good,man!
你说得很好 继续
You're doing really good! Keep going,
-继续 加油 -好的 冷静点 老兄
- keep going! Come on! - Okay, chill out, dude.
如果有一艘宇宙飞船怎么办
What if there was a spaceship?
你们有洗手间吗
You got a bathroom?
楼下有浴室吗
Do you have a bathroom downstairs?
如果你想尿尿 就到外面去 伙计
If you want to pee,just go outside, man.
-随便在什么地方小便 -好的
- Just pee anywhere. - Okay.
我只是...... 我要用一下洗手间 很快的
I just... I gotta use the bathroom real quick.
-我马上回来 -行行 知道了
- I'll be right back. - Yeah, yeah. You got it man.
-谢谢 -好了 下一个是谁 下一个是谁
- Thank you. - All right, who's next, who's next?
我想来 我想来
I want to go,I want to go.
好的 割礼
All right, circumcision.
嘿
Hey.
-怎么了 -怎么了
- What up? - What up?
-唷 -唷
- Yo. - Yo.
麦克斯真是个混♥蛋♥
Max is a fucking asshole.
是不是很尴尬
Was that...Was that awkward?
我没事
It's all good.
我没有生气 我很好
I ain't tripping,I'm chilling.
好吧
All right.
噢 妈的
Oh, shit.
哟 不要在走廊上撒尿
Yo, don't pee on the porch!
不要在走廊上撒尿
Don't pee on the porch.
皮特 你说那个能收到 呃
Pete, where'd you say that spot was to get...
-啥 -能收到手♥机♥信♥号♥♥的地儿是哪来着
- What's that? - ...cell phone reception?
往那边走半英里 伙计
Half a mile down that way,man.
其实半英里不到 你懂的
But not even half a mile,you know what I mean?
你要去哪里
Where you going?
我要去打电♥话♥给卡门
I'm just 'bout to go call Carmen real quick.
我就去这座桥那里 然后就回来
I'm going to this bridge and coming right back.
-帮我向她问好 -好的
- Tell her I said hi. - A'ight.
-好的 -好
- A'ight. - A'ight.
嘿 科斯莫
Hey, Cosmo!
皮特 科斯莫在那里
Pete, Cosmo's right there.
嘿 宝贝 你怎么样
Hey, baby, how are you?
嘿 宝贝 你在做什么
Hey, babe,what you doing?
天啊 妈妈她疯了
My God,Mom's being crazy.
她在骗大家 她没有在做透析......
She's bullshitting everyone,she's not doing dialys...
米吉塔
Mijita.
-好 我来了 -你在哪里
- Yeah, I'm coming, un segundo. - Where you at,
你要我晚点再打给你吗
you need me to call you back?
我们的房♥子真是他妈的一团糟
Our house is a fucking mess.
他们现在正在做祈祷
They're doing a prayer right now.
宝贝 你想听听吗
Do you want to listen in, babe?
如果你在这给我精神上的支持 那就太好了
It would be really good if you were here in spirit.
好啊
Yeah, it's cool.
给我一秒钟
Give me a second.
好了
Here we go.
嘿 这是安东尼 请留言
Hey, this is Anthony Please leave a message.
你这小婊砸不接电♥话♥是吧
Your bitch ass ain't picking the phone up, huh?
是吧 但是 妈的 我不知道了
Yeah, though, fuck. I don't know.
我感觉是你哪个女朋友在听 所以......
I feel like one of your females on the phone so...
告诉他我留了个口信 而且我是直的
I just left you a message,let you know I'm straight, dawg.
嘿 嘿
Hey. Hey, you.
你想进去吗
You want to come inside?
来吧
Come on.
怎么了 伙计们
What's going on, guys?
嘿 怎么了
Hey! What's up?
什么事这么好笑
What's so funny?
唷 不是的 是
Yo, it's not, it's
-太他妈的愚蠢了 -太蠢了
- fucking stupid. - It's so stupid.