周末生日游（2018）

Cheap-ass motherfucker.
他在阿根廷的所有修道院都写了个这玩意儿
He wrote this note to all these convents in Argentina, like,
然后这些修女 "我们必须反对同性恋婚姻"
all these nuns, like, "We have to pray against gay marriage,"
说什么"这是魔鬼的印记
like "This is the devil's work,
这是邪恶的 我们必须祈祷反抗它"
this is evil,we have to pray against it,"
然而7年之后 教堂反倒要
and then seven years later,it was like the church
-向同性恋者道歉 -对对对
- should apologize to gay people. - Right, right.
还有这个教皇 他就像是个新的......
This is our Pope,he's like the fresh...
太糟糕了 太糟糕了
It's horrible,it's horrible...
-就像个年轻而冷漠的新教皇 -哥们
- Like the fresh, young, cool new Pope... - My man...
-你还好吗 -滚石杂♥志♥还让他登上了封面
- You good? - ...like Rolling Stone magazine put him on.
你知道吗 仅仅因为你不是纳粹分子
You know, just because you're not a Nazi
并不意味着你是一个好人
doesn't mean you're a good person.
他要向那些不相信他的
He's going around giving an apology toward people
和不关心他的人们道歉
who don't believe in Him and don't care.
喔 你闻起来像杏仁
Ooh. You smell like almonds.
你做了咖啡了吗
You made that coffee?
噢 妈的 我忘了给你留一杯了
Oh, fuck, yo,I forgot to save you a cup.
噢 不是吧
Oh, no shit.
你说"不是吧"是什么意思
What do you mean,"no shit"?
我现在就多做点咖啡 哥们
I was just going to make more coffee, man.
-这里就只有我的这份 -不用了
- Here just, have mine. - Nah, I'm good.
老兄 没关系的 给你 我做一壶新的咖啡
Dude, it's fine, here,I'll make a new pot of coffee.
-不用了 -我要煮一壶新的咖啡
- I'm good. - I'll make a new pot of coffee.
你就不能拿着吗 别做贱♥人♥了
Would you just take that? Stop being a bitch
喝了它 好吗 我再做一壶
and drink that, all right? I'll make another pot,
别担心 我们还有咖啡吗
don't worry. We got any more coffee?
整个图都很血腥
The imagery of it is all bloody.
如果耶稣看到了肯定得当场去世
If Jesus were here, he would fucking be over it himself.
哦 天哪 他肯定不喜欢
Oh, my God, he would hate it! He would hate it!
这只是一堆废话
It's all just a bunch of rapey bullshit.
如果耶稣进了教堂 他会说
If Jesus went into a church, he'd be like,
"你♥他♥妈♥的在干什么
"What the fuck are you doing?
为什么我在流血 戴着一顶带刺的王冠…"
Why am I bleeding,with a thorny crown...?"
或者"干脆让我挂掉吧"
Like,"Put me on rollerblades!"
简直是一场恐怖秀
It's like a horror show!
当然 我懂
Absolutely, I know!
泰 还记得我们都快快乐乐享受的时候吗
Ty. Remember when we were all having fun?
现在全他妈都消失咯
Now it's turned into a fucking fiasco.
是啊 总是如此
I know! It always does.
一切皆如此
That's where it always goes.
一切就是宗教 政♥治♥ 宗教 政♥治♥
It's like religion, politics,religion, politics.
-现在世道就是这样 -唷 艾伦
- This is what happens. - Yo Alan.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
你为什么会拿着那个 那是什么
Why do you have that? What is that?
住在这里的那些该死的贮藏者的东西
The fucking hoarders that lived here had it.
-你在干什么 哥们 -他们有十幅这样的画
- What are you doing, man? - They had like ten of them.
-这里 -我受不了你们了
- Here. - I can't with you guys.
你为什么还不把它扔掉
Why haven't you thrown it away?
好的 所以 这里发生了什么
Okay, so, like,what is happening here?
为什么这么吓人
Like, why is it so scary?
这个婴儿就像一个恶魔婴儿 他就像
This baby's like a demon baby. He's, like, about
要从她的脸上咬一口
to take a bite out of her face.
不是 你知道吗 如果你想找乐子
No, you know what,come in the living room
-就去客厅里 好吗 -这是什么
- if you want to have fun, okay? - What is this?
为什么他像是要咬她那样
Why is he about to take a bite out of her?
还有 这个婴儿看起来超轻
And, like, the baby doesn't weigh anything.
-好像他们要亲热似的 -是啊
- It's like they're gonna make out or something. - Yeah!
那耶稣呢 那幅"神圣不可侵犯"的耶稣呢
What about the Jesus? The unfuckable Jesus right there?
为什么耶稣总是带着一只羔羊
Why is Jesus always with a lamb?
羔羊是什么意思 它没有任何意义
Like, what does the lamb mean? It means nothing!
它意味着它的母亲失踪了
It means its mother's missing.
泰勒 为什么 这是什么
Like, Tyler, why...what is this?
耶稣在经营一个宠物动物园吗
Is Jesus running a petting zoo?
这是让观众理解什么啊
What are you supposed to think when you see this?
为什么2017年了 人们还会喜欢这种画
Why, in 2017 are people,like, in love with this imagery?
-为什么是2017呢 -是啊
- Why is it 2017 in the first place? - Yeah!
为什么人们会把它贴在墙上还为它哭泣呢
Like, why are people posting this to their wall and crying?
任何相信这种耶稣什么的的人
Anyone who believes in this kind of Jesus
一定是一个低等的人
must be,like, an inferior human.
我不希望这些人去参加投票或者接触我......
I don't want these people voting, or touching me...
让我们雇一个演员……
Let's hire an actor...
伙计们 让我们把它们放火炉里烧了吧
Guys, why don't we go to the fire and burn all this shit?
我就问一下 还有没有更多的古巴小故事啊
Please, can I just ask,no more Cuba stories?
但是 我的意思是 我知道你们去了古巴了
But still! I mean, I get you guys went to Cuba.
泰 泰
Ty, Ty!
他还在那边嚷嚷吗
Is he still going off in there?
他就爱这样 不停不停地吵
It's what he does. He just goes on and on and on...
烧了 烧了
Burn! Burn!
我们带来了耶稣 然后我们会看着他燃烧
We brought the Jesus and we'll watch Him burn!
烧死女巫
Burn the witch!
我们要把他烧死
We're going to burn him!
-不 不 -好 烧了
- No, no! - Yes! Burn!
不 不 这不是个好主意
No, no. Not a good idea!
嘿 别把这事太当真 好吗
Yo, don't take this shit too seriously, okay?
这不关宗教的事 他们只是喜欢烧东西
It's not a religious thing,they just like to burn shit.
嘿 麦克斯 麦克斯 等等 他感觉不到疼痛
Hey, Max, Max, wait. He can't feel pain,
他们很神奇 圣母玛利亚不用做♥爱♥
they're magical,the Virgin gave birth to a baby
就生下了一个孩子
without ever having sex.
他妈的到底发生了什么
What the fuck is going on!
妈的
Motherfuckers!
嘿 等等 配个乐 婊♥子♥ 配乐
Hey! Wait! Soundtrack, bitches, soundtrack!
别把我的房♥子搞塌了 哥们
Don't fuck up my fucking house, man!
伙计们 拜托了 别再破坏其他东西了
Guys, please,don't break anything else!
拜托 说真的
Yo, please, seriously.
皮特……
Pete....
嘿 伙计们 别玩火了 拜托
Yo, guys,not in the fire! Please!
尼科 等等 你要去哪里 哥们
Nico, wait! Where are you going, man?
跳舞 婊♥子♥ 跳舞
Dance, bitch! Dance!
是啊 这些该死的管子又被冻住了 哥们
Yeah, these fucking pipes froze again, man.
-那太糟糕了 -是的 它们被冻住了
- That's fucked up. - Yeah, they're frozen.
嘿 你看到我的外套了吗
Hey, have you seen my jacket anywhere?
嘿 尼科说我可以烧了它
Hey, Nico says I can burn shit!
嘿 伙计们 不管了 来吧
Yo, guys, fuck that shit,come on,
尼科说我可以随便烧
Nico says I can burn shit!
不是 嘿 说真的 远离易燃物
No, hey, seriously, no, yo,stay away from flammables!
哦 我的外套 我的外套 我的外套
Oh, my jacket, my jacket,my jacket.
-我喜欢这个外套 哥们 -我需要它
- I love this coat man! - I need it.
等等 伙计 皮特 皮特
Hold on, man. Pete? Pete?
把我的兔子大衣给泰勒
Get Tyler my bunny coat.
-让我穿着它 我现在就想穿着它 -那我该穿什么
- Here, let me wear it, I want to wear it right now. - What am I gonna wear?
嘿 你在干什么 跟我们一起跳舞吧
Yo, what are you fucking doing? Come dance with us.
嘿 打火机在哪里
Hey, where's the lighter fluid?
你在这晃晃悠悠做什么
What are you fucking around for?
-你在跟我开玩笑吗 -给他点汽油
- Are you kidding me? - Give him the gas!
我想看到皮特被活活烧死
I want to see Pete burn himself alive!
他妈的没门
There's no fucking way!
噢 耶
Ooh, yeah!
把沙发旁边的那玩意儿
Bring the big tequila bottle by the couch next to...
上的龙舌兰拿过来
the thing next to the couch.
满的那瓶 把整个都给我拿来
The big bottle that's full. Bring the whole thing.
让他们来吧
Get the guys to come!
-唷 他们在玩火 -在外面吗
- Yo, they got fire. - Outside?
噢 不是吧
Aw, really?
他妈的
Fuck!
嘿 你好吗
Hey, how you doing?
你好吗 夫人 你好吗
How you doing, ma'am? How you doing?
怎么了 怎么了
What's going on? What's the matter?
你还记得我吗 我们的汽油用光了
You remember me? We ran out of gas,
我和我的朋友强尼
me and my friend Johnny?
噢 记得记得 发生了什么事