一如既往（2018）

God, it was so humiliating.
天啊 太丢脸了
So you both screwed up.
所以你们俩都搞砸了
You each take a gimme and move on.
你们互相原谅一下 凑合过呗
I just got an email from him.
我刚收到他的电子邮件
Oh my gosh, it's so sweet!
哦 天哪 太可爱了
He just sent me the cutest apology.
他刚刚给我发了最可爱的道歉
See?
看到了吗
He's a peach.
他是个讨人喜欢的人
Do something nice for him tonight, like really nice.
今晚为他做点好事 很好的那种
Did you get that link I sent you?
你收到我发给你的链接了吗
Oh, that site was nasty.
哦 那个网址好污
Exactly.
确实哦
Not in the bedroom.
不要在卧室里
Lower.
放低
This is ridiculous.
这太荒谬了
They've been making this racket for hours.
他们已经吵了好几个小时了
What the hell are they trying to prove?
他们到底想证明什么
Dan, maybe you should come to bed.
丹 也许你该上♥床♥睡觉了
Yeah, yeah, in a minute.
是的 是的 等一会儿
Oh my god.
哦 我的上帝
Oh, that was incredible.
哦 太不可思议了
Okay, I gotta pee.
我要小便
I'm sure it's nothing serious.
我肯定没什么大不了的
You haven't had problems down their before, have you?
你以前没有遇到过问题 是吗
Never.
从未
Brandon Conroy.
布兰登·康罗伊
Hello Mr. Conroy.
你好 康罗伊先生
Hi.
你好
I'm Dr. Sahni.
我是萨尼医生
Oh, yeah, I normally see Dr. Kurtzman?
哦 我通常看库尔茨曼医生的
Oh, he retired five or six months ago.
哦 他五六个月前退休了
This is my first week.
这是我的第一周
Welcome.
欢迎
So, what's the problem?
那么 有什么问题
It's like someone took a sand blaster to my boom stick.
就像有人拿着喷沙枪对着我的鸡儿打
Let's have a look.
让我们看看
Oh my god.
哦 我的上帝
This looks like something I saw
这看起来像我在热带病研讨会上
in my tropical disease seminar.
看到的东西
How long's it been like this?
这样多久了
Just since this morning.
就从今天早上开始
And before that, was your penis normal
在那之前 你的阴♥茎♥是正常的吗
or has it always been disfigured?
还是它一直都是被毁容的样子
Normal, it's normal.
正常 正常
Do you work with toxic chemicals?
你有使用有毒化学品吗
No.
不
Have you recently spent time in the African bush?
你最近在非洲丛林里待过吗
No.
不
Have you had sex with any prostitutes from that region?
你和那个地区的妓♥女♥发生过性关系吗
No!
不
Any exposure to monkey feces?
有接触猴粪吗
Monkey feces?
猴子粪便
So, no interspecies intercourse?
所以 没有跨种交♥配♥吗
Oh, for fuck, no!
哦 去他妈的 不
Mr. Conroy, I'm going to need the names
康罗伊先生 我需要
of your sexual partners.
你所有性♥伴♥侣♥的名字
Get Dr. Palmer down here right away to look at Mr. Conroy.
马上叫帕默医生过来看看康罗伊先生
We have a possible miasmic STD of unknown origin.
我们可能有一种未知来源的传播性疾病
Is it that serious?
那是认真的吗
He's had sex with 21 women in the last four years.
他在过去四年里和21个女人发生过性关系
Go, go, go.
去 去 去
I've never seen anything like this before.
我以前从没见过这样的东西
It looks like a mix of genital herpes,
看起来像是混合了生殖器疱疹
syphilis and a gun shot wound.
梅毒和枪伤
Maybe it's a mutant hybrid?
也许是变异杂交
You ask him about money feces?
你问他猴粪的事了吗
I did, and negative.
是的 他说没有
Sterile swab.
无菌拭子
Whoa.
哇
What's up with the swab?
拭子是什么鬼
I'm gonna insert this into your urethra, get a culture,
我要把这个插入你的尿道 做细菌检查
run a test and see if we can figure out
进行一个测试 看看我们是否能发现
what's goin' on with you, okay?
你怎么了 好吗
'Kay.
好
Hmm.
嗯哼
Oh god.
哦 天哪
There we go.
好了
That wasn't so bad, was it?
没那么糟吧
I'm so sorry.
我很抱歉
It's okay, we got another one.
没关系 我们还有一个
No that's good.
不 没关系
I'm sure that's fine.
我相信没关系的
Come on, the three second rule, right?
来吧 三秒钟规则 不是吗
It's okay, let's try this again, shall we?
没关系 我们再试一次 好吗
Please no.
请不要
Hey.
嘿
Oh sweetie, thank god you're here.
哦 亲爱的 感谢上帝你来了
How you doing, honey?
你好吗 亲爱的
They don't know what I have.
他们不知道我有什么病
Oh, I'm sure everything will be okay
哦 我相信一切都会好起来的
once they figure out which one of your 21 sluts
只要知道你21个荡♥妇♥中的哪一个
gave you the disease!
把病传染给了你
Whatever happened to quality over quantity?
说好的质量比数量重要呢
The numbers don't matter, I always wore condoms.
数字不重要 我一直戴避孕套的
Except with you.
除了你
Oh please!
哦 拜托
I only slept with one man for 14 years.
我只和一个男人睡过14年
But who did he sleep with, huh?
但是他和谁睡过觉
You're so full of shit!
你真是狗屎
I'm his wife!
我是他的妻子
Oh yes, I imagined so.
哦 是的 我想是的
I'm Dr. Dietz, now let's see
我是迪兹医生 现在让我们看看
what all this excitement's about.
这些病症的原因是什么
You already checked for monkey feces, right?
你们已经问过猴粪的事了 对吧
I did.
是的
Mr. Conroy, you have cystitis.
康罗伊先生 你得了膀胱炎
Oh god.
哦 天哪
Shit.
该死
Commonly known as honeymoon disease
俗称蜜月病
from too much intense sexual activity.
过多的激烈性行为导致的
You just need to give the little fellow a rest.
你只需要让这个小家伙休息一下
Avoid sex for four or five days.
四五天内避免性生活
Only touch it when absolutely necessary
只有在绝对必要的时候才触摸它
and you'll be right as rain in no time.
不用多久就好了
Oh, thank god.
哦 谢天谢地
Oh, thank you.
哦 谢谢
You can put that down.
你可以把它放下了
I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
So, let me get this straight,
所以 让我直截了当地说
they swabbed your schlong twice, yet they didn't have to?
他们插了你的尿道两次 但其实是没有必要的
Yeah.
是啊
Oh boy, that is marriage in a nutshell, ain't it?
哦 伙计 那简直就是婚姻的始末了 不是吗
Mrs. Halvorsen, I was just getting ready for tomorrow.
哈沃森太太 我刚为明天上课做好准备
I'm afraid there's a problem.
恐怕有问题
We just received your background check.
我们刚收到你的背景调查结果
You were arrested for a felony.
你因重罪被捕过
But I received a deferred adjudication.
但我收到了延期的裁决
I wasn't convicted.
我没有被定罪
I was still able to teach in West Virginia.
我仍然可以在西弗吉尼亚州教书
Obviously we hold a higher standard here
很明显 在我们凡奈斯基♥督♥教学校