一如既往（2018）

to raise a child and that's before college.
需要花费超过25万美元
You can't put a price tag on happiness.
你不能给幸福贴上价签
True but I was an only child and I have to say,
是的 但我是独生子女 我不得不说
I was very happy.
我很高兴
Oh come on, Brandon.
哦 别开玩笑 布兰登
You use to always want a younger brother.
你以前总是想要一个弟弟
And a matter of fact, Brandon was an accident.
事实上 布兰登是个意外
We thought long and hard
我们犹豫了很久
about whether or not we should keep him.
关于我们是否应该留下他
You were gonna put him up for adoption?
你们本来打算让他被收养吗
Oh god no, I wouldn't have the heart for that.
哦 天哪 不 我才不想那样做
We were gonna abort him.
我们本打算让他流产
Jesus.
天啊
But we were in Burma,
但是我们在缅♥甸♥
we couldn't find anyone to perform the procedure.
我们找不到任何人来做这个手术
Thank god.
感谢上帝
I think we made the right decision.
我认为我们做了正确的决定
I do too.
我也是
Most of the time.
大部分时间吧
Oh, Jerry.
哦 杰瑞
Hey, you know, we better get going,
嘿 你知道 我们最好走了
we got a flight to catch, we gotta get to Buenos Aries.
我们要赶飞机去布宜诺斯艾利斯
Oh, leaving so soon?
哦 这么快就走
We're gonna the Antarctica,
我们要去南极洲
we're gonna scuttle some Japanese whale killers.
我们要消灭一些日本捕鲸者
If it were up to me,
如果由我决定
I'd have those boats sunk in the ocean
我会让那些船沉入大海
and have any remaining survivors fed to the sharks.
让剩下的幸存者喂鲨鱼
I hear you, I respect your feelings.
我听到了 我尊重你的感情
Now, get you things we gotta go, we gonna be late.
拿上你的东西 我们得走了 我们要迟到了
Charlotte, it's been so lovely meeting you.
夏洛特 见到你真高兴
Likewise.
我也是
Carly, till next time.
卡莉 下次再见
Okay, let's go.
好吧 我们走吧
She gets so blood thirsty when it comes to the Japanese.
每次谈到日本人时 她都非常嗜血残忍♥哦
Those are some weird fucking people.
他们好他妈奇怪
Okay, I don't know, they're unique.
好吧 我不知道 他们很特别
It's kinda refreshing.
有点新鲜
You need to be thankful
你需要感激
that their DNA skipped a generation.
他们的DNA跳过了一代人
But isn't, Brandon's pretty amazing, right?
但 布兰登很不错 对吧
You did good, girl.
你做得很好 女孩
And he can't freak if he finds out that you're a jail bird.
如果他发现你也蹲过监狱他也不会吓一跳吧
'Cause with parents like that,
因为有这样的父母
he was probably conceived in the joint.
他自己可能都是在监狱里被怀上的
Why would you tell Charlotte the Stang is yours?
你为什么要告诉夏洛特那辆车是你的
You're the one who told me to lie.
是你让我撒谎的
When you're trying to lure her to the honey pot!
当你想把她引诱到蜜罐里的时候才要撒谎
You can't keep it going now that you're married.
既然你结婚了 就不能再继续下去了
It's insane.
太疯狂了
Just let me break it to her slowly, okay?
让我慢慢地告诉她 好吗
Can you go along with it for a couple weeks?
你能把它借我几个星期吗
Come on man, you have another car.
求你了 伙计 你还有一辆车
Please, I'll owe you.
拜托 我欠你的
With what?
用什么还
You don't have any money.
你没有钱
Which you also told me not to tell her about.
这也是你叫我不要告诉她的
And now she's talking about honeymoons and houses and kids.
现在她在谈论着什么蜜月 房♥子和孩子
Well, you screwed up, man, you took my advice.
你搞砸了伙计 谁让你接受了我的建议
Okay, okay, okay okay, you can take the Stang
好的 好的 好的 好的 你可以再用这辆车
for a couple more weeks but, but
几个星期 但是
if I see you drive it more than twice,
如果我看到你开了两次以上
I will bring down your house of cards.
我就把你这个纸片房♥子给拆了
Understood, thanks.
明白了 谢谢
I'll see you at dinner.
晚饭时见
No, this is yours now, you have to take care of it!
不 这是你的了 你得照顾它
Oh!
哦
Our first dinner party as a married couple.
我们结婚后的第一次晚宴
Yeah.
是啊
What are you making?
你打算做什么菜
Well, I thought maybe you could make your homemade pasta.
嗯 我想也许你可以自♥制♥意大利面
I remember on our honeymoon, we went to a movie in Maui
我记得我们度蜜月的时候 我们去毛伊岛看电影
and Dan was playing with his wedding ring,
丹在玩他的结婚戒指
it fell off and rolled down the floor.
它掉了下来 从地板上滚远了
Ting, ting, ting, ting.
叮 叮 叮 叮
We had to wait till the movie was over
我们不得不等到电影结束
and then search through all this popcorn
然后摸开所有的爆米花
and crud and found it in a puddle of Pepsi.
在一滩百事可乐的水渍里找到了它
She was really mad.
她真的很生气
And then the next week, he does it again!
接下来的一周 他重蹈覆辙了
And she punched me right in the dick.
然后她给了我的鸡儿一拳
You're lucky I didn't divorce you.
你该庆幸我没有和你离婚
It turned out he done it intentionally.
结果他是故意的
Well yeah, so I had tied it to a string
是的 所以我把它绑在绳子上了
and I was pulling it along and she kept going after it.
我一直在拉 她一直后面追
That was really.
那真的
Oh god, weren't you furious?
天哪 你不会很生气吗
Yes.
对
But then I realized that this is who Dan is
但后来我意识到这就是丹
and that's why I love him.
所以我才爱他
That's why she loves me.
所以她才爱我
He's a lovable jackass.
他是个可爱的小屁孩
My ass is very jacked.
我的屁♥股♥是真的很疼
Moving on!
换个话题
Brandon, what is your biggest regret?
布兰登 你最大的遗憾是什么
My choice of best friends.
我选错了最好的朋友
I was just being honest.
我只是说实话
I'm just being honest.
我只是说实话
I guess maybe not visiting my grandpa enough
我想可能是在爷爷死之前
before he died.
我没有多去看看他
He was living in this nursing home
他住的疗养院
like a mile from our house and,
就在离我们家一英里的地方
I don't know, I guess I was too busy
我不知道 我想我忙于
being a teenager or something.
做个十几岁的孩子或者别的什么
Anyway, I hope he forgave me.
不管怎样 我希望他原谅我
Of course he did.
他当然原谅了你
He knew you loved him.
他知道你爱他
Okay, I gonna say what we're all thinking.
好吧 我要说我们都在想的事儿了
Four-way.
我们4p吧
Hey!
嘿
Hey, how come you never wear that necklace I gave you?
嘿 你怎么不戴我给你的项链
Don't you like it?
你不喜欢吗
I love it.
我喜欢
I absolutely love it.
我非常喜欢
And you know what else I love?
你知道我还爱什么吗
That pretty little ass of yours.
你的小屁♥股♥
You remember the three amigos?
你还记得这三个朋友吗
Arriba!
阿瑞巴
Whoo!
哇哦
Schweitzer Polizei Frau.
施韦策·波利泽夫人
What are you working on?
你在做什么
Welfare application.
福利申请
You?
你呢
Suicide note.
自杀遗言
Touche.
说得好
You know, screw it!
去死吧
I guess I'm gonna call that slimy prick Matthew
我打算打电♥话♥给那个混♥蛋♥马修
and see if he'll throw us a bone.
看看他会不会给我们一块骨头
Oh man, that's gonna suck.
哦 伙计 那太糟糕了
You just know he's gonna make you feel like a pathetic,
你要知道他会让你觉得自己很可悲