尴尬时刻（2014）

But in reality,the only prostitute here is you.
但事实上 你才是出♥卖♥♥♥身体的人啊
No one came again.
继续没人来啊
Again? Why don't you get better authors?
继续？你应该多找几个有名的作家
You know,I never even thought of that.
这么好的主意我怎么可能从来没想过呢
Yes,I've tried that. I've been trying.
我试过了 我一直在试呢
Well,come by my place after for a drink.
待会过来我家喝一杯吧
I'll come by after.
好的 我会过去的
I don't understand why you won't tell me. Just tell me where you did it.
我不明白你为什么不愿意告诉我 就告诉我你们在哪儿做的
I'm not telling you,so stop asking.
我不会告诉你的 不要问了
Why? You know you're gonna tell me. You tell me everything.
为什么？你最终还是会告诉我的 你什么都告诉我
I do. But I'm not telling you this right now.
确实 但是我现在不想告诉你
Why? 'Cause I'm whupping your ass.
为什么？ 因为我现在正赢着你呢
You get all precious with this stuff and you throw down,
你每次都是假装很正经地说什么 然后突然就不说了
and slap me in the mouth.
然后你就把我扔下了
Whenever you start losing,you just get upset.
你每次输的时候都无端闹情绪
Dude,did you just take another shit in there?
哥们 你不会又拉屎了吧？
No,I'm not. Every time.
不是的 他每次都撇
Why do you care so much about what I'm doing in there?
你怎么总关心我在厕所干什么？
I wasn't taking a shit.
我没有拉屎
You're so disgusting. Dude.
哥们 你算恶心透了
Why do you guys care so much what I do in the bathroom?
你们干嘛这么关心我在厕所里干什么？
And I wasn't taking a shit.
我真的没有拉屎
Every time. Yes,you...
你每次都撇 你有
Have a little faith. What are you guys talking about?
相信我一下可以吗 你们聊什么呢？
Mikey won't tell me where he had sex last night.
米奇不告诉我昨天晚上他在哪儿上♥床♥了
Mikey,where did you have sex last night?
米奇 昨天晚上你在哪儿上的床？
Why do you care so much about where I had sex?
你们干嘛这么关心我上♥床♥的地点？
'Cause we're your friends. We wanna know.
我们是你的朋友啊 关心你啊
Where'd you have sex,Mikey?
你在哪儿上的床 米奇？
The hospital.
在医院
With the glasses girl? Are you serious?
跟眼镜妹子？ 没开玩笑吗？
Oh,my God! You Grey's Anatomy motherfucker!
天啊 你还玩儿起格雷医生了
Mikey,that is awesome.
米奇 挺不错啊
Dude,your wife never would've had sex in the hospital.
哥们 你媳妇就从来不会跟你在医院上♥床♥
She's too uptight. Not in a million years.
她那个人太保守了 一辈子也不会的
I'm fucking proud of you. Really am proud of you.
我真♥他♥妈♥为你自豪啊 真的很骄傲啊
What is that?
谁啊？
I don't know.
我不知道
You order food? I mean,we're all here.
你订外卖♥♥了吗？ 我们刚刚在一起啊
I didn't order food. Did you order food? No.
我没叫外卖♥♥ 你叫了吗？ 没有
So. It's Ellie.
呃 是艾莉来了
What the fuck? Are you serious,dude?
搞什么？你♥他♥妈♥搞我？
Jason,this is a den of testosterone,man.
杰森 这一屋子的睾丸激素啊
This is a pregame. This is my apartment.
你们俩已经开始前戏了吧 这是我自己家啊
That's a good point.
这倒没错
It's not a good point. First of all,guys,I just took a shit in there.
这完全就有错 首先 我刚刚在厕所了
I knew it. It's every time.
我就知道 每次都这样
Why don't you take a shit at your own apartment?
你为什么不在你自己家拉屎？
You can't invite a girl to a place like this.
你不能约女孩子来这种地方
I didn't invite her. You didn't invite her?
我没有约她 你没有？
No. That's worse.
没有 那就更糟糕了
That's some girlfriend shit.
这他妈就是要谈女朋友的节奏啊
Some I-have-a-girlfriend shit.
是你要谈女朋友的节奏
Okay,well,I'm gonna buzz her in.
好吧 我要让她进来了
Don't buzz her. Don't buzz her in.
不要 别让她进来
I'm gonna buzz her in. Jason,don't buzz her in.
我要放她进来了 杰森 不许放她进来
Don't buzz... Don't buzz her in,man.
不要 别放她进来
We're having such good guy time right now. Oh,shit.
我们三个本来挺好的 哦 糟糕
I just buzzed her in.
我放她进来了
He fucking buzzed her in. Okay. He buzzed her in.
他居然放她进来了 好吧 他放她进来了
Really? Okay
你认真的？ 好吧
Both you guys need to calm down.
你们两个淡定一点
We're not supposed to see them more than twice in one week,all right?
我们每周跟姑娘见面不应该超过两次的
And you're seeing this chick twice in one day.
而你跟艾莉一天之内就见了两次
Dude. Relax.
放松点 哥们
Invite her up then,man!
那你就请她进来吧
She's not gonna wanna talk about Xbox.
她对Xbox肯定也没什么兴趣
So,I'm gonna be sitting here being like,"I have to fart but maybe I can't right now."
我坐在这沙发上想放屁 但我也不能放
She better have some hot friends. Dude,you're pissing me off.
她最好能给我们介绍些漂亮的朋友 哥们 你真惹我生气了
Open the door. I don't care. I'm getting wasted.
把门打开吧 我不在乎 我坐这儿喝酒就够了
Hey. I hope I'm not interrupting. Hi.
嘿 希望我没打断你们 嗨
No. You're not interrupting. You're not interrupting anything.
没有 我们没干什么
So this is this is Daniel. This is Mikey. We went to college together.
这是丹尼尔 这是米奇 我们一起念的大学
Guys,Ellie.
这是艾莉
Daniel is a manipulative idiot.
丹尼尔是个白♥痴♥控制狂
And Mikey has an orange dick. Hi.
米奇的鸡鸡是橘黄色的 嘿
Really,dude?
拜托 哥们
That's really good to know.
知道了
I brought scotch. I don't know if you guys drink scotch.
我带了威士忌 我不知道你们喝不喝
She brought scotch?
她带了威士忌诶？
You should try it.
你们应该喝喝看
Let's try it.
那就喝喝看吧
What are you guys playing?
你们在玩什么？
A little Xbox. Can I play?
玩一会Xbox 我能一起玩吗？
Yeah.
好啊
Apparently,her ex-boyfriend played a lot of Halo.
显然她前男友很会玩最后一站
You know what? It's late. I gotta go. I gotta go to West Side.
知道吗 太晚了 我该回去了 我得回西区去
No,you're not. We're not letting you. No. We're not letting you go.
不行 你不能回去 我们不让你回去
I promise you we get funnier.
我们玩的正开心呢
But tonight is Mikey's night. You know,I can feel it.
今天晚上都是米奇在赢 我能感觉到
I pray to God it is. That's what I was telling you,too,baby.
上帝保佑我一定要是 我刚才就这么说的
I forgot to tell you,it's my birthday coming up soon.
忘记告诉你了 我生日快到了
Really?
真的？
Usually people are more subtle about this.
一般人们对于自己生日都很低调的啊
No,not like that.
不是那样啦
I'm going to throw myself a surprise birthday party.
我要给自己办一个生日惊喜爬梯
You're throwing yourself a surprise party? Yeah.
你要给自己办惊喜爬梯？ 对
Well,I'm surprised. Yeah,
哟 真惊喜哈 是啊
everybody's gonna get dressed up and decked out.
每个人都要打扮好来参加
And you should do the same.
你也应该来
It's a dressup party? Absolutely,yeah.
要打扮的爬梯？ 是的
I'm so in. I love getting dressed up. Sweet.
我去定了 我喜欢打扮 那好
He's actually giving her eye contact?
他俩是在视交吗？
He's engaged.
一副订了婚的模样
Bye. Bye.
再见 再见
That's a great painting,by the way.
顺便说一句 画儿不错
Thank you.
谢谢
That's nice. It was beautiful,man.
不错嘛 多美妙啊 哥们
That was really nice. That was quite nice.
真不错 相当不错
And I do love her. I do.
我很喜欢她
I really like her.
我真的很喜欢她
I really liked it when she came by without telling anybody.
我喜欢她没跟你说一声就来了
I really liked it when she kissed you on the cheek.
我喜欢她亲你的脸
And I really like that you're about to lose this bet.
我喜欢她马上就要让你输掉这个赌了
Yep. Jason,do you remember
是啊 杰森 你还记得吗？
when we said we're all gonna stay single?
我们说好了要保持单身的
Yeah,well,it looks like you're fucked.
现在看来 你完蛋啦
I'm not fucked.
我没有完蛋
You are so fucked!
绝对完蛋了
I'm not fucked. Let's go out.
我没有 我们一起出去吧
Hey,Chels! Hey. Sorry,guys.
嘿 切尔西 嘿 抱歉
Can we get tequila shots,please?
给我们来几杯龙舌兰酒
Sotheby's kept me late.
工作的事拖累我迟到了
Then they can take care of these drinks.
那就让他们买♥♥单吧
They will? Hey.
是嘛？ 嘿
It's good to see you. You,too.
见到你真高兴 我也是
I'm still going. That's not cool.
咱们继续 一定要这样吗
All right cheers! Cheers!
干杯 干杯
Chels,you're up.
切尔西 看你的了
Get it.
快去牵线