尴尬时刻（2014）

Black and white. Cool and spare.
就用黑白 简单明了
Now,a recent study using MRls
一份最近的市场调研报告显示
showed that women's brains lit up like fireworks
女性的大脑神经会变得异常喜悦
when they were showed pictures of...
当她们看到
A penis.
鸡鸡的图片
What?
什么？
No. No. No.
不是的 不是
No. No.
不是的 不是
No.
不是的
Women's brains lit up like fireworks
女性的大脑会变得异常喜悦 火花四溅
when they were showed pictures of
当她们看到
shoes. Shoes.
鞋子的图片的时候 鞋子
Shoes.
鞋子
And nothing says wish fulfillment like Christian Louboutin.
没有能比布托牌高跟鞋更能让她们愿望成真的了
Ask any girl in the room.
随便问这屋里的一个姑娘吧
I love it.
我喜欢
Dude,are you taking a shit in there?
兄弟 你是在里面拉屎吗？
Absolutely not.
绝对没有
Every time you come over,you take a shit in there.
每次你来我家 你都要在我家拉屎
I'm not taking a shit. I'm using self-tanner.
我没有拉屎 我在涂美黑霜
Self-tanner?
美黑？
Yeah. I told that assistant at Vogue
没错 我告诉那个《时尚》杂♥志♥的小助理
I couldn't hang out 'cause I was in Toulon.
我不能跟她出去 因为我去法国土伦度假了
Trying to phase her out of my roster.
想把她从我的花名册里抹出去
Also,I am taking a shit.
对了 我确实在拉屎
Every time.
每次都这样
Every time.
每次都这样
You did the retrieve? Huh?
你把东西都收拾出来了？
I just grabbed whatever I could.
就拿了些我能拿的
Yo,Mikey! Were you taking a shit in there?
嘿 米奇 你是不是在厕所拉屎？
Yep. Jesus! Every time.
是的 天啊 每次都这样
We're going the fuck out. Is that ice cream?
我们要出去玩一玩 那是冰激凌吗？
You bought ice cream,Mike? Come on.
你买♥♥了冰淇淋 迈克？拜托啊
Yeah. It's peanut butter chocolate.
是啊 花生黄油巧克力味
That's a great flavor. Let me see it.
很不错的口味 让我看看
Hey. We're going out. No ice cream. No. No.
听着 我们要出去混 不能吃冰淇淋 不行
You see,whiskey doesn't mix well with ice cream.
你看吧 威士忌跟冰淇淋吃不到一起去
I need it. You need it?
我需要这个 需要？
Yes. You need it? What're you,a fat teenage girl?
没错 你需要冰淇淋？你多大了？青少年肥妹？
What're you,Bridget Jones? Really?
你是布里奇特·琼斯吗？ 啥意思？
Name calling? Is that what we're doing? Yeah.
都开始叫我外号♥了？我们这就开始了？ 没错
Give me the ice cream. No.
把冰淇淋给我 不给
Give me the ice cream. I know that look. Get away from me.
给我 我知道你想干嘛 滚开啊
Give me the ice cream. Back up,little man.
给我冰淇淋 小人退后
Give me the ice cream. Get off,man.
给我 快滚开
Nobody gets ice cream!
大家都别吃冰淇淋了
That was awesome.
这就对了
Did you throw it out the window? We're going out.
你干嘛把冰淇淋扔到窗外去？ 我们出去玩
I mean,I bet you thought you were never going feel this again,man.
我打赌你肯定没想到自己还能 再次享受这种感觉
The excitement. The energy. You don't get this in relationships.
这种兴奋 浑身干劲的感觉 谈恋爱的人是没有这种感觉的
I've been out of the game so long I forgot how much I miss this.
我很久没出来混过了 都忘了我自己有多想念这一切
You were never in the game. You were a married doctor.
你从来就没混过 你是个结了婚的医生
Whatever. Hey,do you guys want a mint?
管他呢 你们想吃薄荷糖吗？
Yeah. Here we go. That's for you.
想 来 这个给你
That's for you.
这是你的
That's a weird mint,dude.
哥们 这薄荷糖味道很奇怪
Yeah,I know. It's Viagra.
我知道 这是伟哥
You've got four hours to drink like Keith Richards and still get hard.
吃了它你可以狂喝四个小时 然后还可以硬起来
Every good action movie has a ticking clock. Right?
每部精彩的动作片都会有计时器 对吧？
Fucking idiots.
两个白♥痴♥
Idiots.
白♥痴♥
I know!
我知道
I'm fucking drunk right now.
我现在已经醉了
Yeah,that's right.
这就对了
I can't wait to get drunk.
我也等不及要喝得大醉了
I can't do this. I can't do this.
我做不到 我不行的
Hey,come here. Yes,you can.
没事的 你可以的
Yes,you can. You just need to be like,"Hey! I'm a good-looking doctor."
你可以的 你就摆出一副"我是个帅气医生"这样子就好
No,it would work for me,Mikey.
我就很喜欢你这样啊 米奇
Would it? Yeah,it would.
会吗？ 真的
That would totally work for me.
我一定会很喜欢
Hey! Chels!
你好 切尔西
Oh,my God! I love your shoes! I've been looking for those.
天啊 我好喜欢你的鞋子 一直想买♥♥这样的
Thank you!
谢谢
Wow! You are beautiful.
你真漂亮
This is my friend,Daniel. He's amazing.
这是我的朋友丹尼尔 他人很好
But he's a virgin.
但他还是处♥男♥
There's always a catch.
总会有机会的
I'm just trying to get laid before I graduate high school.
高中毕业前我一直在努力破处的
Hi,I'm Sophie.
你好 我是索菲
I know you are.
我知道
Whiskey. .. Yeah.
威士忌 好
I love you. We're doing it... I love you,too.
我爱你 我们喝起 我也爱你
I've never met that guy before.
我不认识那人谁啊
What's up,buddy? How's it going?
兄弟 你这边怎么样？
Well,
噢
I'm drinking alone in a bar full of assholes.
我在一个全是混♥蛋♥的酒吧里 一个人喝闷酒
And all these girls,they seem to like the assholes more.
而这里所有的姑娘 反而更喜欢那些混♥蛋♥们
Dude,do you remember when for,like,two years in college,
哥们儿 你记得吗 在大学的前两年
every single girl that I liked liked you?
每个我看上的姑娘都喜欢你？
Rebecca Daniels... Yeah. Rebecca Daniels.
丽贝卡·丹尼尔斯 对啊 丽贝卡·丹尼尔斯
She was hot. She was.
她超漂亮 对
She was all right.
她真是好姑娘
Where's the Mikey that got her?
当年那个追到她的米奇呢？
Because that guy was fucking awesome.
当年的米奇他妈的超棒
That girl's staring at you at the end of the bar.
吧台那边有个姑娘在盯着你看
Should I look? No,not yet.
我要看吗？ 不 先别
Now. No.
现在 别
Now. No.
现在 不
Now. No.
现在 不
Yeah,go ahead and look.
现在可以看了
Night away?
一个人消磨时间？
Yeah. She was fucking Harold.
没错 她跟哈罗德上♥床♥了
There's always a Harold.
总会有个哈罗德的
There's always a Harold.
总会有哈罗德
When I was a kid,I used to open all the windows in my bedroom
当我还是个孩子的时候 我总是把自己卧室的窗户都打开
when it was freezing,and just lay on top of the covers.
天气很冷 然后我就躺在自己的被子上
Why?
为什么？
I wanted to understand what it felt like to be homeless.
想知道无家可归是什么感觉
Do you understand that feeling?
你知道那种感觉吗？
Just needing to know?
就感觉你一定要去知道？
Wow.
哇
I know.
我知道
He fucking looked like Morris Chestnut.
那人长得像莫里斯·切斯纳特
Who looks like Morris Chestnut?
谁会长得像莫里斯·切斯纳特？
It is not a good look. Nobody should look like Morris Chestnut.
根本就不好看 没人像莫里斯·切斯纳特
Okay,who is Morris Chestnut?
好吧 莫里斯·切斯纳特是谁？
Apparently,he's a great lawyer.
看起来他是个不错的律师
Well,I wrote my number on this.
我写给你我的电♥话♥
Use it when you're ready.
准备好了你就打给我
Look,is this the part where we go home?
听着 现在你是想要我跟你回家吗？
'Cause I'm not really in the mood.
我今晚没有心情
You're sitting on my coat.
你坐着我的外套额
I am.
哦 对
I'm sorry about that.
不好意思
It's okay. Thanks.
没事 谢谢
Good night. Good night.
晚安 晚安
Hey.
嘿
I'm gonna get a drink. You want a drink?
我想喝点东西 你要吗？
No. I'm good. Let me get you a drink.
不用了 我请你喝东西吧