尴尬时刻（2014）

I can only imagine.
能想象得到
I didn't know whether to cry or go kill myself.
我不知道是该哭啊还是该自杀
What are you laughing at,Bill?
比尔 你在笑什么？
L like this guy,Ell.
我喜欢这孩子 艾莉
I like this guy.
我喜欢他
Don't encourage him,Dad.
你别鼓励他啊 爸爸
Don't encourage him.
别鼓励他
So?
那么
So?
怎么？
What do Jason and Mikey think about this?
杰森和米奇知道吗？
What do you mean?
什么意思？
Well,I mean,like,whatever we're doing.
我是说 他们知道我们的事吗？
What have you told them?
你跟他们说了吗？
I mean,I told them everything.
我什么都跟他们说的
Yeah. They're really happy for you.
他们为你感到高兴
Sorry. They're happy for me? They're happy for both of us.
什么 为我感到高兴？ 为我们俩感到高兴
They're just so happy for the two of us.
他们为我们俩一起感到高兴
That's what they... Yeah,they're just really happy.
他们就是这么感觉的 很高兴而已
And Jason's taking it okay?
杰森也没什么意见吗？
Yeah. I mean,he was a little angry at first,
刚开始他是挺生气的
but now he's in the fourth stage of grieving.
不过现在他已经到了悲伤的第四个阶段了
Denial?
否认吗？
Masturbation.
是撸管
You know what's so cool?
你知道最有意思的是什么吗？
When I'm being really serious and you're like,
当我认真跟你说事的时候 你总是一副
"Hey,I'm Daniel. I'm,like,really funny."
"看我呀我是丹尼尔我特别搞笑"的样子
I don't sound anything like that.
我说话才不是这样的
You sound exactly like that.
绝对就是这样的
"Hey,I'm Daniel."
"嘿 我是丹尼尔"
You sound like you have peanut butter in your mouth.
你说话的时候嘴里好像有花生酱一样
No. What do you want me to say?
不是 你想让我怎么说？
They think it's cool that I'm slumming it?
他们觉得我放下身段追你很有趣？
Slumdogging?
是吗？
No. Honestly,I'm just happy you told them.
没有啦 我只是很高兴你告诉他们了
I know how you are with girls.
我知道你对女孩子什么态度
Or at least how you've been.
至少是以前你对女孩子什么态度
You know what?
知道吗？
Your dad...
你♥爸♥爸
Awesome.
真的很棒
Well,he likes you,too,even though you had that thing on.
他也很喜欢你 尽管你还带着那根鸡鸡
Maybe that's why he liked me.
说不定他就是因为这根鸡鸡喜欢我的
You know you don't have to clear up anything.
你没必要留下来跟我收拾的
You don't have to help.
你不需要帮忙的
No,I want to.
我自愿的
You can't wake up to this. It's disgusting.
你可不能大早起来看着这堆恶心的垃圾
The apartment or you?
你说我房♥间恶心还是你恶心？
You've always hated me.
你一直都很讨厌我吧
Just stop talking for one minute.
你能不能把嘴闭上一分钟
I know it's really hard,but you can just try.
我知道这很难 但你总得试试看
You've always hated me.
你一直都讨厌我
I'm gonna take a shower.
我要去洗个澡
OK OK
好的 好的
Last night was amazing.
昨晚真棒
And this morning.
今天早晨也是
Do you think you could grow old in New York?
你要在纽约安度晚年吗？
I'm not gonna get old.
我才不会变老
Getting old looks so tiring.
变老真是件累人的事
I know. You just,like,wake up in the morning
我知道 每天早晨起来
and have to figure out what to do in between meals.
你还得考虑三餐之间你要干些什么
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
告诉你我准备怎么办
I'm gonna get an old Jaguar XK-E,completely restored.
我要找一辆旧的捷豹车 把它修好
And then I'm gonna eat a ton of acid.
嗑上好多的药
Like,so much acid that if you went to go see Cirque du Soleil,
特别特别多的药 多到 你去看太阳马戏团的表演
you'd think you were in Connecticut.
都会以为是到了另外的州一样
And then I'm gonna speed up the West Side Highway,
然后我会在西区高速路上驰骋
as fast as a car can go,crash through the divider,
开的要多快有多快 把一路的间隔板都撞飞
and careen off into the Hudson.
然后猛冲进哈德逊河
In slow-motion,of course.
当然一定要是慢动作的
Of course.
那当然
And that would be it.
就是这样
My death,premeditated.
如何离开这个世界 我都计划好了
Okay.
好吧
I mean,here's what's actually gonna happen.
我告诉你实际情况会是什么样
What?
什么？
You'll be 70 years old.
很快你就70岁了
So you'll think you're going 150,
你觉得自己能开到150时速
but actually you're going 25 at best,15 at worst.
但你至多能开到25 可能连15都达不到
You can't see,so the acid you think you're eating
你根本看不清 所以你以为你嗑的是药
will actually be an errant Lipitor.
其实你吃的只是降血脂的药
You're going to forget what you were doing in the car in the first place,
你坐进车里的时候连你要干什么都想不起来了
bump into the divider,wet yourself,ruin the car,
然后你撞上隔板 尿了一身 车也被你毁了
lose your license,and your dignity in one fell swoop.
你的驾照被吊销 还有你的自尊也都全没啦
And then you're gonna be ushered off into some rest home,
然后你会被送到养老院去
where you have to wake up in the mornings,
你在养老院早晨起床
and figure out what the hell to do in between meals.
还是会考虑三餐之间你要干什么
You know,you don't have to be right about everything all the time?
你知道吗 你不必要每次都说得这么对啊
How's Ellie?
艾莉怎么样？
What do you mean?
什么意思？
What do you mean what do I mean?
你说什么意思？
Nothing. What are you talking about?
没什么意思 你说什么呢？
What are you talking about? So? What's up?
你说什么呢？我问问你好不好
Nothing. Where's Chelsea?
挺好 切尔西呢？
What do you mean?
什么意思？
I mean,where is Chelsea is what I mean.
我问你切尔西在哪儿
I gotta talk to you about Chelsea.
我得跟你谈谈切尔西
What's going on?
大家都好吗？
Why are you so happy? Yeah?
你怎么这么高兴？ 怎么了？
I can't be happy to see my two best friends?
我看到我的两个好朋友 高兴点不可以吗？
That's not a happy-to-see-your-two-best-friends face.
你这不是看到好朋友的高兴
No?
不是吗？
What is going on?
怎么回事？
You're girl happy-
你这是找到姑娘的高兴
Look at me. Did you bone again?
看着我 你是不是又打炮了？
You boned again,didn't you?
肯定打炮了吧
No. What are you... Did you?
没有 你说什么 打炮了吗？
No. That's ridiculous. Can you stop looking at me like that?
没有 别扯了 你们能不能别这样看着我了？
You're a fucking animal! Yes,you did! Did you?
你这个禽兽 你就是打炮了 有吗？
Did you?
你有吗？
Who was it? Glasses girl? Was it?
谁啊？是眼镜妹子吗？ 是吗？
Glasses girl. Was it?
眼镜妹子 是她？
Wow. Mikey.
哇 米奇
It's the beginning of a beautiful roster,buddy.
不错的制花名册的开始 哥们儿
Yeah,man. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you.
我真为你骄傲
Thank you. I'm also proud of you.
谢谢 我也为你骄傲
Your phone is ringing.
你电♥话♥响了
Are you going to answer that? No.
你不接电♥话♥？ 不接
You should. It might be a hot lonely girl looking to talk to me,
你应该接的 可能是一个漂亮寂寞的姑娘 本来想跟我说话的
but she has your number.
但她碰巧有你的电♥话♥罢了
No. It's Ellie. No,it's not.
哦 原来是艾莉 不是的
I can read it. It's right there on the bar. It says,"Ellie." See that?
你来电显示写着艾莉 我这里能看见
I'll get it later.
我待会回电♥话♥给她
That's real mature.
你心智真成熟
Yeah. You should answer it,because she's your girlfriend.
你快接吧 她都已经是你女朋友啦
It's... Yeah. My girlfriend.
是 没错 我女朋友
Shit. She's calling again.
看啊 她又打过来了
Back to back?
连着打啊
Answer that phone! She might need you to pick up diapers!
快接电♥话♥吧 她可能是让你买♥♥尿布呢
Or,like,tampons,or something like that.
或者是卫生巾之类的
I'm outwith you guys. I'm not fucking answering it.
我是跟你们一起出来玩的 不会接她的电♥话♥的
Well,I'm gonna answer it. I wish lwasn't.
你不接我接 我真希望没跟你们出来