尴尬时刻（2014）

ONCE.
健身一次
What are you doing here anyway?
你到底来干嘛的？
What do you mean? I don't know.
你什么意思？ 我不知道
Weren't you supposed to hang out with that girl from Trinity?
你难道不应该跟那晚酒吧 认识的姑娘一起吗？
Yeah. I had to tell her I wasn't looking for anything too serious.
我跟她说了 我不想认真谈恋爱
'Cause if it ever stopped being fun for you guys,you'd want to just call it off?
所以只要事情变得无趣了 你们就要分手了？
That's... Yeah. I know.
嗯 没错 我就知道
You got it down.
你明白了
Brother. I know the spiel. Brother.
哥们儿 我懂你们这套话 哥们儿
Yeah.
是啊
I don't know. I just thought you liked her.
我不知道 我觉得你挺喜欢她的
I did like her.
我确实喜欢她
She was cool,really smart,funny,well-read.
她很酷 又聪明 有趣博学
Great family. Loveit
家庭出身也不错 不错
And gave the best blowjob in recorded history.
她的口♥活♥在口♥活♥史上也是一绝
I feel like every blowjob you get,you think is the best in recorded history...
每次女孩给你口♥活♥ 你都说是口♥活♥史上的一绝
Well,if you look at the common variable across all encounters,you'll find that it's me.
如果你综合这些口♥活♥的共同点来看 你会发现我才是关键
So maybe I'm the best in recorded history at receiving blowjobs.
所以呢 我可能是口♥活♥史上最好的接受者
Bam. Bam.
很厉害把 厉害
Think about that. Don't want to.
好好想想 我才不要想
Cheers to me getting awesome blowjobs and just being good at it.
为我接受优秀的口♥活♥而干杯
You're such an idiot.
你真蠢
So? Jason,where is this going?
那么 杰森 现在这算什么？
Fuck.
妈的
Look,I think you're an amazing girl.
我觉得你是个很好的姑娘
And if I was in a different place,maybe,
如果现在是不同的情况 我可能
but,I mean,you know that I'm not really looking for anything serious.
但是 你也知道 我现在不想认真谈恋爱的
Yeah. Yeah,yeah. As soon as this stops being fun for one of us.
我知道了 只要这件事对我们之间任意一方 开始无聊起来
Hey,J-Go! How'd it go with that hooker?
嘿 杰森 跟那个鸡的事儿怎么样了？
Did you just call me a hooker?
你刚才叫我鸡？
No,I meant the other...
不是 我是说另外一个
Yeah. I just said the wrong thing just now.
我说错话了
You think?
你以为？
Yes.
是的
Hey,Mikey?
嘿 米奇？
Mikey?
米奇？
Can you shut the door? Shit.
出去带上门行吗？ 哦 糟糕
Okay. I'd like to apologize.
我得道个歉
Don't worry about it.
没关系
Caffeine?
喝咖啡吗？
No,thanks. I gotta run.
谢谢 不用了 我得走了
But at least he offers.
不过他还关心我了
I offer.
我也关心过啊
You've never offered.
你从来没有关心过
For the record. I'm sorry for anything I said.
事先说一下 我提前道歉
Am saying. And might say in the future.
为我以前 现在甚至以后说的错话
An apology. So sweet.
还会道歉 真贴心啊
I like him better than you. For the record.
跟你比起来 我更喜欢他
For the record,he is better than me.
告诉你 他比我好多了
This is true.
这倒不假
Bye.
再见
So you went out with... Ellie.
你昨天晚上约会对象是 艾莉
Then you came home and had sex with... Alana.
晚上回家上♥床♥的对象却是 阿兰娜
Jesus!
上帝啊
I did that for you. You did it for me?
我是为了你才这么做的 为了我？
Yeah. You had sex with a beautiful woman for me?
对 你跟漂亮姑娘上传是为了我？
Yeah. For you.
对 为了你
Thank you. Thank you.
我多谢你了
If I need anything else,I'll be sure to let you know.
如果以后我要你帮忙的话 我保证告诉你
I'm just building my roster,man.
我只是在排花名册而已
Roster? Yeah,my roster.
花名册？ 对啊 我的花名册
Ellie's on the way in.
艾莉马上就要进我的花名册了
Alana just gave me the "so."
阿兰娜刚刚问了我"那么"
The "so"?
"那么"？
Yeah,the "so."
对
When it comes to girls,nothing good ever follows the word "so."
"那么"从一个姑娘嘴里问出来 后面不会跟什么好事
"So," where is this going?
"那么"我们现在怎么继续？
"So," what're we doing?
"那么"我们现在算什么？
And you just got the "so"?
她刚刚问你了"那么"？
Yeah,I just got the "so."
没错
So that's when you get out.
这就是你该抽身的时刻了
Always? Always.
永远？ 永远
You're a fucking idiot.
你真♥他♥妈♥人♥渣♥
So Chelsea worked her magic again?
切尔西又施展红娘大♥法♥啦？
Yeah,yeah. In a sense,yeah. Really?
对 可以这么说吧 真的？
So,is she,like,hot. She smart,cool?
所以 这个姑娘是漂亮聪明又有趣吗？
Yeah. Yeah,all of the above.
是的 以上皆有
Wow,really?
哇 真的吗？
Yeah. I'm not gonna date her.
不过我不会跟她约会的
She's not datable if that's what you're getting at,okay?
如果你想问的话 她不适合约会
So let's just calm down.
淡定下来
What about you? Did you see what's-her-name?
你呢？跟那个叫啥来着的见面了吗？
Ellie? Yeah.
艾莉？ 对
Yeah. We,like,went to the park. We hung out.
见了 我们去公园待了一会
Went to the park,hung out?
去公园？待着？
You liked this girl when you thought she was a hooker.
你当她是鸡的时候都很喜欢她啊
Are you falling in love? No,man.
你是不是爱上她了？ 没有啊
I think you are. I can hear it in your voice.
我觉得你有 从你声音里可以听得出来
I had sex with Alana.
我刚跟阿兰娜从床上下来
You had sex with both of them? No.
你跟她们俩都上♥床♥了？ 没有
You fucking double gophered?
你居然脚踏两条船？
I didn't. Sorry,sorry,sorry.
我没有 不好意思
You double gophered? I love that.
你真的搞了两个？我喜欢这样
You had sex with both of them. That's awesome.
两个姑娘同时搞 真棒
No,I didn't. Ellie went home. Alana came over.
我没有啊 艾莉回家了 阿兰娜过来找我
That's what I love about you.
我喜欢你的就是这点
Like,you never push too hard.
你从来都不会用全力
You always have a backup. Yeah.
总有后备计划 没错
You're like Judge Reinhold in Beverly Hills Cop.
你就像比佛利山超级警探里的 因霍尔德法官一样
I'm not getting in a relationship. Except you're an asshole.
我没有谈恋爱啊 你真是个混♥蛋♥
Hello. This is Ellie.
你好 我是艾莉
Hey-
你好
It's Jason.
我是杰森
All right,we're going on a date tomorrow.
明天晚上跟我出来约会
Gramercy Park. Dress nicely.
在葛莱美西公园 穿得漂亮点
No questions.
别问问题
You in?
你来吗？
Yeah.
好的
Vera,we have to talk.
维拉 我们得谈谈
Mikey,did you call the glasses girl,yet?
米奇 你是在给那个眼镜妹子打电♥话♥吗？
Can you come see me tonight? It's important.
你今晚能跟我见面吗？这件事真的很重要
Dude. Tell us how the call went.
哥们儿 给我们报告一下电♥话♥情况吧
Nope. I'm not pissing. Okay.
我没在尿 好
Come on in. First of all,
进来吧 我先得说
your dick looks like it found Nemo. Stop.
你的鸡鸡看起来好像已经找到了尼莫 别说了
Second of all,are you gonna see glasses girl?
其次 你是要跟眼镜妹子约会吗？
She gonna come see me tonight.
她今晚要见我
First of all,I think your dick looks like a snowman's nose.
我先得说 你的鸡鸡就像雪人的鼻子
Can you stop? Second of all,
你能别说了吗？ 其次
I thought you worked tonight?
我记得你今晚不是医院值班吗？
She might come by the hospital. No.
她会来医院找我
Mikey,I love your thinking on this,man.
米奇 我喜欢你的想法
The work-date combination.
工作和约会的完美结合
It's very impressive. Yeah.
真不错 是的
I'm just thinking on my toes. He knows shit,man.
我用脚趾头想的 他真渊博啊
It's casual. It's innovative. I love your work,man.
我喜欢你的工作 又休闲又有创意
I love that jacket. Where are you going tonight?
我喜欢你的外套 你今晚要去哪儿？
I have a pretty big night ahead of me.
今晚我有很重要的计划
I'm playing the incredibly wealthy Mr. Von Ferrington.
我要假扮成富翁冯·费灵顿先生
That's so awesome!
不错嘛