尴尬时刻（2014）

I knew I shouldn't have given her those flowers.
我不该给她带那些花的
She's coming for me.
她来爱我了
Jesus. What the fuck?
上帝 搞毛啊？
Okay. Hey. Oh,my God!
上帝啊
Hey,dude. What the fuck are you doing in here?
嘿 哥们 你们他妈的在那里干啥呢？
Don't look at my fucking dick,man!
别盯着我鸡鸡看
Oh,my God. You guys are fucking?
天啊 你们是在打炮吗？
It doesn't mean what you think it means.
不是你想象的那样
It doesn't? It doesn't?
不是吗？ 不是吗？
No. It doesn't mean that.
不是的
What does our relationship mean to you,Daniel?
那你怎么看我们两人之间的关系 丹尼尔？
Relationship? You guys are in a relationship?
关系？你们两个恋爱了？
You didn't tell him?
你没告诉他？
You told me you told him! You fucking lied to me.
你跟我说你告诉他了 你骗我
What I should have said in this situation was that I didn't.
这样情况看来 我确实是没告诉他
Of course. I didn't tell him.
当然了 我还没告诉他
Jesus Christ,Daniel. We're not dating,okay? If that's what...
上帝啊 丹尼尔 我们没在约会 如果你想问这个
Oh,my God. Fuck you.
上帝啊 你去死吧
What the fuck?
搞毛？
What the fuck? What the fuck?
搞什么？ 搞什么啊？
What the fuck is right! What are you doing here?
对啊 搞毛 你来这干嘛？
Jesus! Does no one in this house lock a door?
上帝啊 有没有人锁门的？
Where are you coming from? I was with Vera.
你干嘛去了？ 跟维拉一起
What the fuck? What the fuck?
什么？ 什么？
Your ex-wife?
你的前妻？
Why were you with Vera? 'Cause I was trying to work it out.
你干嘛跟维拉在一起？ 我想修复跟她的关系
But it's over now.
不过现在都结束了
Oh,my God. Hey,man.
天啊 嘿 兄弟
Do not hug me with no pants on.
没穿裤子的别抱我
Do not hug me with no pants on.
没穿裤子的别抱我
You're right. Respect. Respect.
好吧 我尊重你
What were you doing trying to work it out with Vera?
你干嘛要试着修复跟维拉的关系？
Because that's what I do,Jason. I try to make things work.
因为我一直就这样 杰森 我试着修补任何事
But you wouldn't know anything about that
你从来都不修补任何事
'cause you always playing shit safe.
你就只会为了自己
No. Because we had a deal.
不是的 我们有约定
We were staying single. Wait. Single?
我们都要保持单身 等等 什么单身？
It's a long story. We'll talk about it later.
说来话长了 我们待会再聊
I didn't go to a funeral. You both lied to me
因为你们俩个的谎言 我错过了那场葬礼
I did that for you. I did that for both of you.
我为了你们两个 我是为了你们才没去葬礼的
Wait,wait,wait. You didn't do any of this shit for us.
等等 你怎么是为了我们
You do everything for you.
你做事情都是为了你自己的
You want us to be just like Jason.
你想让我们跟你杰森一样
And I can't think of anything I want more than to be nothing like you.
我就是不想像你一样
Your wife fucked some other dude and you're mad at me.
你妻子跟别人上♥床♥ 你却把气撒到我身上
Man. You wanna say that again?
兄弟 你再说一遍？
She might still be fucking this dude.
她可能现在正在上那男人呢
Stop it. You guys,stop it! Get the fuck out!
停下 别打了 快出去
Stop. Come on,man.
别打了
Your dick is touching me,man! I'm sorry.
你鸡鸡碰到我了 对不起
You know what? Fuck you guys!
知道吗 你们去死吧
I can go back to my life! My roster,my fun!
我现在要回到自己的生活里去 我的花名册 我自己享乐
All my shit! And do it without you!
所有我喜欢的事 除了你们两个
Okay? We weren't getting into relationships! That was the deal!
我们说好了 保持单身不谈恋爱的
It really wasn't about anything other than
我这么做 只是为了
having my two best friends and I back together again.
和我两个最好的朋友重新在一起
That was it.
就这么简单
Now look at the shit you guys are in!
看看你们现在摊上的烂事
You're a sad man.
你真可悲
Yeah. Fuck you,Mikey.
去死吧 米奇
Wow.
哇
happy Thanksgiving,everyone.
各位 感恩节快乐
Such a special time of year.
真是一年中特别的时刻
Ellie?
艾莉？
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
Hey,look,I'd love to.
我想
Love to what?
想干嘛？
Get a coffee. Talk for a few hours.
一起喝杯咖啡 聊一聊
Get a drink after. Maybe some tequila? Jason.
之后或许喝点酒？ 杰森
What? Is that not what you just said?
什么 你刚才没这么说吗？
I could have sworn I just heard you say that you wanted to...
我发誓 我听见你说你想
Jason.
杰森
What?
怎么了？
You weren't there for me.
在我最需要你的时候
On a day when I really,really needed you.
你没有来陪我
And being there for someone when they need you?
在别人需要的时候去陪她
That's all relationships are,Jason.
这才是恋爱 杰森
That's all they are.
爱情就是这样
You Okay?
你还好吗？
Yeah,I'm fine.
我很好
I just can't...
我只是
Can't stop thinking about what she's doing.
忍♥不住去想她
Like,when I'm not there.
虽然我不在她家
I know what the couch looks like at her place.
我仍然知道她家里沙发是什么样子
I just can't stop imagining the different people that are all sitting on it.
我总是想象 别的人坐在那沙发上会是什么样子
A guy-
别的男人
A different guy.
不一样的男人
A new guy-
新的男人
Just every guy but me.
任何男人 但不是我
Sitting on that couch.
他们坐在那沙发上
Well,it sounds to me like you just need to get laid.
听上去你得打一炮
I know this is gonna sound crazy.
我知道这听起来很疯狂
Then don't say it. No.
那就别说了 不行
This is gonna sound even more crazy,given the new information.
这样一来 可能听上去更疯狂了
No,listen.
你听着
I'm sorry. I can't do this.
不好意思 我做不到
Wow. What?
什么？
I'm just still getting over someone.
我还没忘记别的人
Come on. You're gonna go full-girl with it?
拜托 你真的认真谈恋爱了？
I think I made a terrible mistake.
我觉得自己犯了个大错
I know I can be selfish,arrogant,distant and emotionally retarded.
我知道自己很自私 自大 疏远 而且情商为负
I'm just gonna stop you right there because
你还是别说了 我知道
whatever it is that you're doing right now is not what we do.
你要说的话跟我们要做的没有任何关系
I just needed somebody to talk to.
我只想找人谈谈
Jason?
杰森？
Don't you have any friends?
你没有朋友吗？
These actually do go together.
配起来还挺好吃
Didn't see that coming.
真没想到啊
I'm sorry.
对不起
I know.
知道啦
I just...
我只是
I don't know,to be honest,I'm having so much fun hanging out,you know,
我不知道 我喜欢出去高高兴兴地玩
and chasing girls. And doing the thing and...
追女孩子 然后约炮
"Doing the thing"? Yeah,I miss that.
"约炮"？ 是 我很怀念这一切
And I'm not gonna be able to do that if I'm with Chelsea.
如果我跟切尔西在一起的话 我就无法做到这些了
You know that.
你知道的
I know.
我知道
Okay.
好吧
Go tell her how you feel.
跟她说说你是怎么想的
Go make a scene. Yeah.
搞得大点 好
Make a public spectacle. Yeah.
弄出个公众奇观 好
Dude. Go big. Do it like the movies.
声势壮大一点 跟电影里一样
Like the movies. Yeah.
对 像电影里一样
Like Jerry Maguire. I love that movie.
就像《甜心先生》 我喜欢那电影
I love that movie,man! So good.
我也喜欢 好电影
"You had me at hello." What?
"你跟我说你好的时候我就沦陷了" 啥？
Don't ever do that again. Okay? Sorry.
别那么说 好吗？ 对不起
But tell me what you love about her,man!
跟她说说你喜欢她什么地方
What do you love about her? I love the way she laughs.
你喜欢她什么地方？ 我喜欢她笑起来的样子