尴尬时刻（2014）

You came because you needed my help. Mikey.
你只是想要我帮忙 米奇
I just... I've been thinking about you.
我 一直在想着你
It really was just a simple misunderstanding.
之前发生的事是个误会
Yeah,it was like,"What kind of girl would I be
是啊 我自己想过了 如果我连这点幽默感都没有
"if I didn't eventually find it funny?"
我算是个什么样的人啊？
You'd be probably every other girl in the world. I think.
那你就跟其他姑娘一样咯
I'm really sorry.
真的很抱歉
But I'm not every other girl in the world.
我跟其他人不一样
No.
对
I guess you're not.
我觉得你也不一样
And then I kind of developed my own style,I guess.
然后我就发展出自己的生活方式咯
And now you...
那现在你
Design book covers.
主要是设计书封
Amongst other things.
也干些别的
Well,I guess you get people to believe in something enough
那你一定能很容易让人相信
to want to buy it.
让人想买♥♥你设计的封面的书
I get people to believe in the surface.
我做的就是让人相信表面
To do the one thing your parents told you not to do.
正好就是小时候父母教育我不要去做的
To judge a book by its cover.
以貌取人
Exactly.
确实
We weren't supposed to do that. You weren't supposed to do that.
难道我们不该这么做吗？ 当然不应该
See? I was encouraged.
看吧 还有人鼓励我
Another example of just plain awful parenting.
父母教育真是太失败了
But,like,the job that you have right now,
那你现在这个工作
like,is it something that you actually want to be doing?
是你真正想要做的吗？
You know what? it can be fun.
知道吗？有时候挺有意思的
But do I love it?
但是我想不想做呢
You don't. No.
不想吧 不想
Don't you want to love something?
难道你不想找个你热爱的工作吗？
What? Do you love what you do?
什么？你热爱你的工作吗？
I started this new lecture series.
我现在在做一个系列演讲计划
And authors can come along and they can talk about their work.
请作者们来做关于他们作品的演讲
That's awesome. Yes. So great.
这很不错啊 是 挺好的
And people come? No.
有人去吗？ 没有
No? No.
没人去？ 没有
But I...
但是我
It's okay. I mean,I figure that if I keep doing It,
没什么的 我想 如果我一直这样坚持下去的话
it could be a really,really amazing thing.
这也许会是个了不起的成就
You should come along to one of them if you're around.
如果你有空的话可以来听听啊
I don't know.
我不知道
I can't really tell if it's important to you.
我又不知道这事对你有多重要
I'm sorry. That's a weird laugh.
对不起 刚才那笑声太诡异了
This is my favorite place in the city.
这是这座城市里我最喜欢的地方
Yeah. It's beautiful.
挺漂亮的
I know that I'm romanticizing the idea,
我知道我总把一切看得过于浪漫
but come on.
但是 你看啊
That's kind of my dream. To have the key to Gramercy Park.
我一直都梦想能拿到葛莱美西公园的钥匙
New York's charm is you're surrounded by things you can't have.
纽约的魅力就是你周围 都是你得不到的东西
New York's charm is it makes you think you can have them.
纽约的魅力是它让你觉得你可以拥有它们
You know,I'd love to look inside before we buy.
在我们买♥♥下这里之前 我很想到里面去看看
Me,too.
我也是
In the meantime,we can go back to my place.
同时呢 我们可以回我家去
It's very similar,actually.
跟这儿差不多
Except for everything about it.
不过基本上还是很不一样的
I gotta get home.
我得回家了
Okay. Yours,it is.
好吧 那就去你家吧
You're one hell of a negotiator.
你真会讨价还价
This kind of stuff just rolls off your tongue doesn't it?
你真会讲话
I'm just trying to make you laugh.
只是想让你开心嘛
I don't like how well it's working.
我们进展得也太顺利了
Fuck...
妈的
Wait,so you guys still haven't gotten Mikey laid?
等等 你们两个还没让米奇上♥床♥啊？
No. What's wrong with you?
没有 你们怎么了？
You're like the worst wingman ever.
你这个红娘当的最糟糕了
Are you kidding me,Chelsea? I'm an incredible wingman.
你开玩笑嘛 切尔西？我做红娘很拿手的
I know,but,like,nothing?
但是 什么进展都没有啊？
It's just harder than you think with him.
他那个人太事儿了
Like,what about a blowjob?
口♥活♥也不行吗？
I'm good right now,but thank you. Maybe in,like,10 minutes?
我不用 不过谢谢你了 或者 十分钟以后？
Maybe after this beer?
喝完这瓶？
Sorry,I'm just making a mental list
不好意思 等我在脑子里列出个
of all the things I'd like to do before giving you a blowjob.
我要在做口♥活♥之前要做的事的清单
Wow. Really?
哇 真的？
Kill myself is number one.
自杀是第一件事
Are you serious? Jesus. What's number two?
真的？上帝 第二件是什么？
Just,like,awaiting trial in Guantanamo.
在关塔那摩等待候审？
Yup. Yeah.
是吗 是的
Come on,man. The blues? Are you fucking serious?
拜托了 大哥 布鲁斯？你♥他♥妈♥在搞我？
What the fuck does Captain Attractive have to be so sad about?
这么帅的大哥 有什么需要难过的？
I don't know.
我不知道
I think he's going for brooding and dark,mysterious.
我觉得他就是想走这个路线 忧郁 阴暗 神秘
It's kind of working for me.
我喜欢这样的
That is working? Yes.
就喜欢这样的？ 对
You cannot be that attractive and have a skill. That's bullshit.
他长得那么好 还会弹琴 这根本不可能
Well,I'm gonna play,so you're wrong.
怎么不可能 我还会弹琴呢
Then somebody's in trouble.
有人要沦陷啦
Cheer up,asshole. You're the guy.
高兴点 混♥蛋♥ 你就要被她迷上啦
Buckle up.
过来了
Hey,excuse me? I just wanted to tell you great job.
打扰一下 我只想跟你说 你刚才弹得很棒
I almost cried right there.
听得我都快哭了
It was really some powerful stuff.
太有力量了
Yeah. it was brooding,dark,and mysterious,apparently.
很忧郁 黑暗 又很神秘
Yeah. Thanks. That's what I was going for.
是的 谢谢 我要的就是这种效果
Told you.
我早说了嘛
This is my friend,Chelsea.
这是我的朋友切尔西
She's not much to look at,but wait till you hear her play the piano.
长得可能一般吧 但是你一定得 听听她弹钢琴
Really good. I can't wait. I'm Diego.
她超棒的 好啊 我叫迭戈
I know you are.
我知道
I warn you,though. She can be really aggressive sometimes.
我警告你哦 她有时候挺暴♥力♥的
Is that right?
是吗？
But you can tame her with tequila and compliments.
但是灌她两杯龙舌兰酒 说说好话 她就服帖了
Yeah. So...
是啊 那
Super aggressive. Yeah?
超暴♥力♥哦 是吗
Hey,are you home? No. I'm at the hospital. Where are you?
你在家吗？ 我在医院呢 你在哪儿？
I'm headed back.
我正往回家走
All right. So?
好吧
How was it?
约会怎么样？
It was amazing,man. She was amazing.
超棒 兄弟 她真是超棒
So is she coming back to the house or what?
她跟你回家了吗？
Not exactly.
没有
Hey. After midnight? Really?
你好 这都过了半夜了 你认真的？
I couldn't sleep.
我睡不着
It's good to see you.
见到你真好
So what happened with you and the piano man? Rodrigo?
你跟那个钢琴男怎么样了？罗德里戈？
Diego? Diego.
迭戈？ 迭戈
I don't know.
我不知道
I don't want to date a guy that's prettier than me. You know?
我不想跟一个长得比我好看的男人约会 明白吗？
Yeah. Me neither.
是的 我也不想啊
Plus,he works out.
此外 他还健身
I don't want a man that works out.
我不喜欢健身的男人
Yeah. I worked out once. 2004.
我只在2004年健过一次身
Got on the 15 dumbbells.
举起了15磅的哑铃
I was like,"Those are way too light,let me go to the 30s."
我就想 这样太简单了 然后我决定试试30磅的
Nice. And if you feel it...
挺行啊 你来感受下
Don't. I don't wanna touch it.
不要 我不想摸
And then I hit the hammies.
然后我做了做腿部练习
Some quads. And if you feel that. You definitely got the lingo down.
你再来感受下 你行话还说的一道一道的
Do you see that? No.
看到了没有？ 没有
Well... Fat.
那好吧 都是脂肪
That's what happens when you work out
健身嘛 就是这样的