泰布机密（2015）

L thought, why him?
为什么不是我?
Why not me?
沃尔特结婚了，有七个孩子。
Walt was married, and he had seven children .
我记得抓住那一刻，闭上眼睛，说，
L remember taking the moment, closing my eyes, and saying ,
沃尔特，我会帮你赢下这门课的。
walt, l ' m gonna win this class for you.
那天晚上我的马赢得了比赛。
And my horse won the class that night.
然后我回到了谷仓。
And then afterwards l went back to the barn .
当我和我的马在马厩里的时候，我完全失控了。
And when l was in the stall with my horse, l totally lost it.
我害怕自己的影子。
L was scared of my own shadow.
是我哥哥打开了人生的大门
My brother was the one who opened the doors of life
给我。
for me.
我真的很尊敬他。
L really looked up to him so much .
我母亲对我哥哥的死很淡定。
My mother was very stoic about my brother's death.
她在好转，但花了一段时间。
She was getting better, but it took a while.
我很担心她的健康
L was very concerned about her well-being ,
我会比我小时候更常见到她
and l would see her a great deal more than l had when l was
到处看电影。
running around with the movies.
我在长滩给她找了个小公♥寓♥。
L found her a little apartment in Long Beach.
无论她需要什么，我都会在她身边。
Whatever she need , l would be there for her.
我答应过我妈妈要照顾她。
Well , l made a promise to my mother to take care of her.
我肯定会留着它的。
And l definitely was going to keep it.
我必须以某种方式做功。
L had to create work in some way.
我发现了晚餐剧场。
L discovered dinner theater.
晚餐剧院是一个人们可以来的地方
Dinner theater was a place where people could come and stuff
他们的脸，然后坐回去，当他们得到
their faces, then sit back, and while they were getting
要打嗝，看你正在做的节目。(笑)
to belch , watch the show they you were doing . (LAuG H l NG)
它们变得非常非常受欢迎。
They were becom ing very, very popular.
在餐厅工作是一种耻辱。
There was a stigma attached to working dinner theaters.
他们说那是老演员死的地方。
They said that it was the place that old actors went to die.
我在晚宴剧院赚的钱更多
L was making more money at dinner theater
而不是时不时地在好莱坞等着拍电影
than l was waiting for a picture now and then in Hollywood ,
那是肯定的，来了六周，
that' s for sure-- six weeks here,
那里八个星期，这里四个星期，在全国各地。
eight weeks there, four weeks here, all over the country.
我觉得一旦你穿上那套衣服，我就得继续前进。
L felt l had to keep going once you put yourself in that gear.
我一直在路上。
L was on the road constantly.
主持人:你在《Here Lies》中的故事
L NTERvl EwER: Your story in " Here Lies
杰里米·特洛伊"在大饭店
Jeremy Troy, " which is at the Grand
阿纳海姆的晚餐剧院
Dinner Theater in Anaheim--
没错。
That' s right.
我们将在那里呆八个星期。
We' ll be there for eight weeks.
就在迪斯尼乐园入口的正对面。
It's right opposite the entrance to Disneyland .
这是一种非常孤独的存在。
It' s a very lonely, lonely existence.
你在1500人面前表演，
You perform in front of 1 ,500 people,
然后你回到了一个荒无人烟的旅馆房♥间
and you go home to a hotel room in the middle of nowhere
由你自己。
by yourself.
在晚餐剧院工作很累。
Working at dinner theater was very exhausting .
每天晚上都这样做让我付出了代价。
And doing that every single night took a toll on me.
我把自己累垮了
L wore myself right into the ground
以至于我心脏病发作了。
to the point of where l had a heart attack.
我确信这就是结局。
L was sure that it could be the end .
我还在想我能不能去呢
L was wondering if l was going to be able to make it,
我经常祈祷。
and l was praying a lot.
在那之后我确实放弃了晚宴戏剧。
L did give up dinner theater after that.
我学会了试着放松一点。
L learned to try to relax a bit.
我学会了珍惜每一刻
L learned to be grateful for every moment
感激——感激。
and thankful-- thankful .
我爱教堂。
L love the church .
我爱我的宗教。
L love my religion .
但我仍然觉得自己是一个被遗弃的人
But l still just felt like l was such an outcast
因为我的性取向。
because of my sexuality.
我花了很长时间才找到回来的路。
It took a long time for me to find my way back.
很平静，很重要
It was so peaceful , and it was so important
我想成为其中的一员。
that l try to be a part of it.
我和一个牧师聊了起来，我觉得他
And l struck up a conversation with a priest who l felt
能和我真正交流的人。
l can really communicate with.
我告诉他我是天主教♥徒♥，我告诉他我
L told him l was a Catholic, and l told him l
有一些可怕的保留意见。
had some terrible reservations.
他非常善于接受。
He was so receptive.
他让我对自己感觉好多了。
And he really made me feel better about myself.
他发现了一些关于他自己的真理的东西。
He was discovering something about his own truth.
一个人要活在别人的假设里
For a man to have to live in someone else's presuming
关于你应该爱谁，你怎么知道你自己?
about who you should love, how do you ever know yourself?
他要去他内心告诉他要去的地方。
He was going to go where his heart told him to go.
回到我的教堂和信仰，真的，
By going back to my church and my beliefs, that really,
真的帮我度过了一段非常困难的时期。
really helped me through a very difficult period .
渐渐地，我感受到了这个世界的重量
And little by little, l just felt the weight of the world
从我身上被夺走了。
was lifted from me.
我知道Tab是个形象，你知道吗?
L knew Tab is an image, you know?
这对我来说是非常重要的
And that was the thing that was so very important to me
以及为什么我那么希望他能加入聚酯队。”
and why l so much wanted him to be in Polyester. "
我是托德，亲爱的。
lt's Todd , honey.
托德?
Todd?
托德明天?
Todd Tomorrow?
约翰·沃特斯打电♥话♥给我说，
John waters called me up on the telephone and said ,
我有一个剧本，我想让你读一下和Divine合作的电影。
l 've got a script l ' d like you to read for a film with Divine.
你觉得呢，亲爱的?
What do you think, sweetheart?
哦，这很高雅，托德。
Oh , it's very high brow, Todd .
然后他说，你会有什么感觉
And then he said , how would you feel
关于接吻
about kissing a
(笑)我只是说，我确定
(LAuGH l NG) And l just said , l ' m sure
我吻过更糟糕的人。
l 've kissed a hell of a lot worse.
约翰的电影令人发指。
John 's films were outrageous.
我祈祷他永远不要去看《粉红火烈鸟》
L prayed that he would never go watch " Pink Flamingos. "
生日快乐，胖子。
Happy birthday, fatso.
哦!
Oh!
他做到了。
And he did .
怎么会有人比神还肮脏?
How could anyone be filthier than Divine?
即使在那时，他也没有说，哦，好吧，没关系。
Even then , he didn 't say, oh , well , never mind .
他一点也不害怕。
He was unafraid.
我记得当时一个经纪人对我说，
L remember an agent saying to me at the time,
你不能拍那部电影。
you can 't do that film .
我的回答是，我有什么好失去的?
And my response was, what have l got to lose?
我的事业现在在哪里?
Where's my career now?
我想这会很有趣。
L thought this will be a lot of fun.
带我看看你的卧室吧，亲爱的?
Why don 't you show me your bedroom , honey?
妈妈，我可以吗?
Mother may l ?
是的，你可以。
Yes, you may.
噢!
Ooh!
我只能请他住一个星期。
L could only afford him for one week.
我敢肯定这是Tab H猎人得到的最低报酬，
L ' m sure it was the least Tab H unter was ever paid ,
这是迄今为止我付给别人最多的钱。
and it was by far the most l had ever paid anybody.
给约翰拍电影，你得在地板上找个位置
Doing a film for John , you got to find a spot on the floor
你可以在拍摄间隙坐下来——两点吃冷披萨
where you can sit down between takes-- cold pizza at 2 :00
点。(笑)
AM . (LAuG H l NG)
你是我的小肉罐吗?
Are you my little flesh pot?
嗯哼。
Mm-hmm .
那是我们第一次
It was the first time ever we had
原话是"一个真正的电影明星"进来
quote, "a real movie star" come in
和我的电影明星一起工作。
and work with my movie stars.
泰布和穿着男扮女装的Divine亲热过。
Tab made out with Divine who was in drag .
人们简直不敢相信自己的眼睛。
People could not believe their eyes.
这就是电影成功的原因，因为他们在一起
That' s why the movie worked because they together
我们是荧幕上的一对好搭档。
were a great screen couple.
一些人说，哦，不用担心。
A couple of people said , oh, don 't worry about it.
没人会看这部电影的。
Nobody' s gonna see this film .
电影上映了。
The movie came out.
它很受欢迎。
It was a hit.
这也让我的事业重新焕发了活力。
And it definitely revitalized my career.
Tab H hunter先生，耶!
Mr. Tab H unter, yay!
有一群全新的观众
Well , there was a whole new audience
没听说过Tab H猎人的人