纽约客@上海（2012）

它们让一切看起来都很容易。
They make everything look easy.
在水面上，
Out there on the water,
就好像他们在这个世界上没有烦恼一样。
it's like they don't have a care in the world.
但如果你从表面下看…
But if you look below the surface...
你可以看到他们的生活有多艰难。
You can see how hard their lives really are.
只是把他们的小屁♥股♥划掉。
Just paddling their little asses off.
就像这样。
Just like that.
你知道这是一句中国谚语吧?
You know that's a chinese saying, right?
鸭子的事。
The duck thing.
我认为那是美国的。
I think that's American.
好吧，谁更了解鸭子?
Oh, ok, who knows more about ducks?
在北♥京♥，他们吃了几百万个。
They eat millions of them in beijing.
好点。
Good point.
啊，我一定比我想象的更中国化。
Ah, I must be more chinese than I thought.
来吧。
Come on.
谢谢。
Thanks.
好吧，让我补偿你。
Ok, let me make it up to you.
不可能。
No way.
但是,
But-
少啰嗦我受够外国人了。
no buts. I'm done with expat guys.
好吧，他们要么有亚裔癖，
Ok, they've either got an asian fetish,
或者他们……
or they're...
土耳其秃鹰。
Turkey vultures.
我朋友就是这么叫他们的。
That's what my friend calls them.
因为他们在附近徘徊，
Because they hover around,
等着收拾掉的白肉。
waiting to pick up the discarded white meat.
哦,上帝。
Oh, God.
噢!
Ow!
我告诉过你做足底按♥摩♥前不要吃东西。
I told you not to eat before a foot massage.
她能感觉到一切。
She can feel everything.
好吧……
Ok...
现在给我解释一下山姆和这事有什么关系。
Now explain to me what Sam had to do with this.
是山姆把菲利普赶走的。
Sam's the one who chased Phillip away.
男人要打架的时候就会这么做。
By doing that thing guys do when they're about to fight.
然后突然间，
And then out of nowhere,
他只是……吻了我。
he just...Kissed me.
谁,菲利普?
Who, Phillip?
不,山姆。我为什么要让菲利普吻我?
No, Sam. Why would I let Phillip kiss me?
我不知道。
I don't know.
你为什么要让山姆吻你?
Why would you let Sam kiss you?
我没有。不。
I didn't. No.
阻止它。
Stop it.
他吻了你。
He kissed you.
在捍卫了你的荣誉之后。
After defending your honor.
哦,我的上帝。我就知道他喜欢你。
Oh, my God. I knew he liked you.
我们没有一样的。
We're nothing alike.
完全正确。相反，像阴和阳。
Exactly. Opposites, like Yin Yang.
你很热情，他很凶。
You know, you're warm, he is fierce.
你很随和，他很有紧迫感。
You are easygoing, he is driven.
你是中国人，他是美国人。
You are Chinese, he is American.
你知道还有什么吗?
You know what else?
我住在这里。他是短期投资者。
I live here. He's a short termer.
他的工作一完成，他就回家。
The second his job is done, he's going home.
也许他会改变计划。
Maybe he will change his plans.
看在上帝的份上，他和凯蒂相处得很好。
For God's sake, he gets along with Katie.
你的生活需要一些浪漫。
And you need some romance in your life.
不。我受够浪漫了。我只是
No. I'm done with romance. I was doing just--
或者我只是脚疼。
or maybe I just have sore feet.
有人想过吗?
Anybody ever considered that?
提醒一下，我们有个见面会
Just a reminder, we've got a meet and greet
与商♥务♥部♥长惠特森会面。
with commerce secretary whitson on the evening of the 29th.
今天是29号♥，对吗?
It is the 29th, right?
-是的。——好。
- Yeah. - Good.
他要来城里开会
He's gonna be in town for some meetings
还有一些照片，如果有人有什么不满，
and some photo ops, so if anyone's got any gripes,
关于贸易补贴，你的机会来了
about trade subsidies, here's your chance
跟他当面谈谈。
to have some face time with the man.
我在跟你说话，珍妮特。
I'm talking to you, Janet.
我也爱你，唐纳德。
I love you, too, Donald.
现在轮到泰德·霍姆比了。
Now it's time to turn things over to Ted holmby.
谁获得了今年美国商会的选举结果?
Who's got this year's amcham election results.
这个座位有人坐吗?
Is this seat taken?
不,不。请坐。
No, no. Please, sit.
我不知道你会来。
I didn't know you were coming to this thing.
是的。唐纳德今天早上给我打电♥话♥了。
Yeah. Donald called me this morning.
我想我应该来。向他表示我的支持。
I thought I should come. Show him my support.
相同。
Same.
是的。
Yeah.
他们说这是多年来最接近的一次选举。
It's the closest election they said in years.
是的。是的。
Yeah. Yep.
所以…
So...
接近。接近。
Close. Close.
跟了不起的小王谈得怎么样了?
So how'd it go with um, awesome wang?
我可能会把自己从这个坑里挖出来。
I may just uh, dig myself out of this hole.
我在等他的电♥话♥。
I'm just waiting for him to call.
太好了。
That's great.
是的。
Yeah.
那个法国人怎么样了?
How'd it go with the um, the french guy?
——呃,菲利普?-是的。
- Uh, Phillip? - Yeah.
是的。没有更多的麻烦。
Yeah. No more trouble.
我觉得你把他吓跑了。
I think you scared him off pretty good.
好。
Good.
吓唬人不是件好事。
Not that scaring people is a good thing.
我只是，我很高兴你…好了
I'm just, I'm glad you're...Ok.
听着，如果我昨晚越界了…
Hey, listen, if I overstepped any boundaries last night...
三个月，是固定不变的吗?
Three months, is that set in stone?
因为，你知道，有时候人会待得更久。
Because, you know, sometimes people stay longer.
也许吧。
Maybe.
我是说，我可以留下来。
I mean, I could see myself staying.
稍微长一点。
A little bit longer.
好吧。
Okay.
好吧。
Okay.
哇。
Wow.
谢谢你！
Thank you.
等待。刚才发生了什么?
Wait. What just happened?
伊舍尔 吴是美国城的新市长。
Esther wu is the new mayor of americatown.
谢谢你！非常感谢。
Thank you. Thank you very much.
这真是个惊喜。
This is such a surprise.
我完全没想到会这样。
I was not expecting this at all.
干得好，伊舍尔!
Way to go, Esther!
非常感谢。这是伟大的一天。
Thank you so much. This is a great day.
唐纳德。
Donald.
48%。
48 percent.
就这些吗?
That's it?
是的。
Yeah.
我以为每个人都喜欢他。
I thought everyone loved him.
他们有，或者他们以前有。
They do, or they did.
我想终究是时候了。
I guess that times are finally catching up with him.
我得去看看他。
I should go check on him.
看看我能不能联♥系♥到加拿大城的市长
See if I can get the mayor of Canada town
让他振作起来。
to come cheer him up.
好主意。
That's a good idea.
听着，我有美国电影节的票
Listen, I have tickets to this American film festival--
下个星期。我很确定所有的电影都是英文的。
next week. I'm pretty sure all the films are in english.
但我不知道你是不是太忙了
But I didn't know if maybe you weren't too busy--
如果你想…去吧。
if you'd want to...Go.
了不起。
It's awesome.
哦。
Oh.
我是说，了不起的小王。他打给我。嗯,我要—
I mean, awesome wang. He's calling me. Uh, I gotta--
正确的。不，从那个…洞里爬出来。
right. No, dig yourself out of that...Hole.