纽约客@上海（2012）

我的意思是，我不想再做那个人了。
My point is, I don't want to be that guy anymore.
要证明给你看可不止三个小时
And proving that to you is going take more than the three hours
我在飞机起飞前就离开了。
that I have left before my flight takes off.
所以求你了，帮我找到这个人。
So please, just help me find this guy.
这是我唯一能争取更多时间和你在一起的机会。
It's my only shot at buying a little more time here with you.
把地址给我。
Give me the address.
不。进去。
No. Come inside.
好吧，林，林，林。
Okay, Lin, Lin, Lin.
我没看到任何电♥话♥号♥码，
I am not seeing any phone numbers,
但看起来他最近卖♥♥掉了
but it looks like he recently sold
好吧。线索就是线索。我去看看。
all right. Well, a lead's a lead. I'll check it out.
等待。坚持下去。还有别的东西。
Wait. Hang on. There's something else.
他还刚刚在常州买♥♥了一处商业地♥产♥。
He also just bought a commercial property in changzhou.
那是什么，是邻里关系吗?
What is that, like a neighborhood or something?
不。它是上海郊外的一个工业城市。
No. It's an industrial town outside of Shanghai.
他们在那里有工厂吗?
Do they have factories there?
是的,很多。
Yeah, lots.
事实上，他拥有的这个看起来像是一家工厂。
In fact, it looks like this one that he owns is a factory.
你觉得呢?
Do you think?
是的。我做的事。
Yes. I do.
就是这样!那是他制♥造♥电♥话♥的地方。
That's it! That's where he's making the phones.
你找到了。你真是我的救命恩人!
And you found it. You are a lifesaver!
你能不能别这样?
Would you stop doing that?
好吧,我很抱歉。我很兴奋。
Ok, I'm sorry. I was excited.
去找林，好吗?
Just go, find Lin, ok?
给我点时间想想。
And give me time to think.
喂?
Hello?
唐纳德·!嘿，嘿，我是山姆。
Donald! Hey, hey, it's Sam.
听着，我知道林的工厂在哪。
Listen, I know where Lin's factory is.
显然他拥有一些工业产权
Apparently he owns some industrial property
在一个叫chan-zoo的地方。
in a place called uh, chan-zoo.
常州。
Changzhou.
正确的。不管他们刚才说什么。
Right. Whatever they just said.
听着，我觉得我还能挽救这事。
Listen, I think I can still salvage this thing.
我该如何对这家工厂申请禁制令?
How do I file an injunction against the factory?
常州在江苏省。
Changzhou is in the Jiangsu province.
你需要向江苏的
You need to file a complaint with the Jiangsu administration
工商局投诉。
of industry and commerce.
好的。
Ok.
预约，为你的案子投诉
Make an appointment, plead your case,
说服他们派一个执法员
and convince them to get a Magistrate out there
关闭工厂可能需要几周时间。
to shut the plant down. It might take a couple of weeks.
几周?我没有几周时间了。
Couple of weeks? I don't have a couple of weeks.
能，肯定有更快的办法。
Can--there has to be a faster way here.
除非你和江苏工商局有关系。
Not unless you have some guanxi with the Jiangsu AIC.
我要怎么得到它?
How am I gonna get that?
我有个表兄在那里工作。
I have a cousin that works there.
唐纳德，我再打给你。
Donald, I'll call you back.
你有一个表兄，阿光。你是认真的吗?
You have a cousin, Guang. Are you serious?
听我说，你今天救了我。
Listen to me, you just made my day.
请帮我给他打电♥话♥。
Please call him for me.
这些花正在凋谢。
The flowers are dying.
别管花了。
Forget about the flowers.
我们说的是表兄。
We're talking about cousins here.
你能帮我给他打个电♥话♥吗?
Can you please call him for me?
我不知道。
I don't know.
我还在为你玩弄芳芳的心而生气。
I am still upset with you for toying with fang fang's heart.
我没有玩弄芳芳的心!
I didn't toy with fang fang's heart!
我和芳芳之间什么都没有，好吗?
There was nothing going on between me and fang fang, ok?
她生我的气是因为因为我是个混♥蛋♥，
She was pissed at me because because I was a jerk,
这就是她辞职的原因
and that's why she quit.
这是真♥相♥。现在请帮我给你表兄打电♥话♥。
That's the truth. Now please, call your cousin for me.
我绝望了。
I am desperate.
有多绝望吗?
How desperate?
嗨。我的名字叫山姆。我在找芳芳。
Hi. My name's Sam. I'm looking for fang fang.
我和她一起工作。我其实是她的老板。
I work with her. I'm her boss actually.
我有一张名片。
Uh, I have a business card.
哦,好吧。
Oh, all right.
你想要什么?
What do you want?
很抱歉那天侮辱了你。
I'm sorry for insulting you the other day.
这太傲慢无礼了……
It was condescending and rude...
我，我太过分了。
I was, I was way out of line.
是的,对的。你想要什么?
Yeah, right. What do you want?
我想让你跟阿光约会。
I want you to go on a date with Guang.
你疯了吗?
Are you crazy?
求你了，芳芳，你要什么我就给你什么。
Please, fang fang, I'll give you anything you want.
任何东西。
Anything.
任何东西。
Anything.
雇佣我。
Hire me back.
完成了。这是…。
Done. That's...Done.
帮我准备法学院入学考试。
Help me with my law school entrance exam.
帮你准备法学院入学考试。
Help you with your law school entrance exam.
绝对的。我会帮助你的。
Absolutely. I will help you.
现在你能不能…
Now will you just...
求你了，跟阿光约会吧?
Please, go on a date with Guang?
山姆?
Sam?
我可以吗?
May I?
哦,是的。绝对的。
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
不管他刚才说了什么，我相信都很浪漫。
Whatever he said right there I'm sure is really romantic.
怎么样，芳芳?就一次约会?
How about it, fang fang? Just one date?
我怎么跟你说的?
What'd I tell you?
所以我们一边聊着芳芳正在传真合同证据
So fang fang is faxing the contract evidence
给江苏工商局，
to Jiangsu AIC as we speak,
假设一切正常，
so assuming everything is in order,
他们要派一个执法员去工厂。
they're sending a Magistrate to the factory.
听起来你都搞定了。
Sounds like you got this all wrapped up.
猜猜谁开着他的新车来了，贱♥人♥们?
Oh, guess who just drove here in his new ride, bitches?
我不再是什么好色的英语老师了。
I'm not just some horny english teacher anymore.
我是个有车的好色英语老师!
I'm a horny english teacher with a car!
你还在这里。
You're still here.
是的，我可能还得再待一段时间。
Yes, and I might be for a bit longer.
但我需要你帮个忙。我需要搭车去常州。
But I need a favor. I need a lift to Changzhou.
不如我们坐你的新车吧
So how about we take this new ride of yours
试驾?
for a test drive?
我很乐意。公路旅行!
I'd love to. Road trip!
-他想一起来——太棒了。我们走吧。
- He wants to come with. - Great. Let's go.
哇。
Whoa.
林先生。
Mr. Lin.
啊，很高兴再次见到你。你看起来很好。
Ah, good to see you again. You look good.
我这里有个执法员。他想和你谈谈。
I have a Magistrate here. He'd like to speak with you.
求你了，你不能这么做。
Please, you can't do this.
我把家里所有的钱都花在了这个工厂上。
I spent all my family's money into this factory.
然后拿出这个手♥机♥。
And produce this phone.
如果你关闭它，我就会破产。
I'll be bankrupt if you shut it down.
是的,伙计。任务完成
Yeah, dude. Mission accomplished.
法律成了。
The system worked.
是的。林也完了。
Yeah. And Lin's out of business.
我终于，终于摆脱了麻烦。
And I am finally, finally out of trouble.
那是什么声音?
What is that noise?
麻烦的声音!
The sound of trouble!
再一次，真棒，用门卫的伪装?
Again, awesome, with the janitor disguise?
我告诉过你——
I told you this--
听。林告诉工头
listen. Lin told the head worker
来领遣散费
to come and collect the severance pay.
只有你们俩看起来可能有。
Only you two look like you might have it.
所以呢?我就告诉他们我们不和林合作。
So? I'll just tell them that we don't work with Lin.
我们不为…工作林先生。
We uh, we, we don't work for...for Mr. Lin.
我觉得他不了解你，伙计。
I don't think he understands you, dude.
是的，我看得出来，布莱德。我们该怎么办?
Yes, I can see that, Brad. What do we do?
——跑!——是的!
- Run! - Yeah!