纽约客@上海（2012）

屏幕上。你是怎么做到的?
The screen. How did you do that?
使用被电荷吸引的衬底
Using a substrate that's attracted to the charge
人类的皮肤。
of human skin.
发明者是个天才，一个叫郁百杨的中国人。
The inventor's a genius, a chinese guy named yu baiyang.
总隐士。
Total recluse.
有时会消失几个月，然后
Disappears for months at a time and then
弹出一个小玩意，改变了一切。
pops up with a gadget that changes everything.
但他是个有创造力的人
But he's a creative type,
所以他通常销♥售♥产品
so he usually sells the product
给第一个找到他的人。
to the first person who finds him.
我发现他。
I found him.
现在我需要你
Now I need you
起草一份购买♥♥协议
to draw up a purchase agreement
在别人发现这手♥机♥之前。
before anybody else finds out about this phone.
我不建议这么做。
I wouldn't recommend that.
不，我是说，这只是因为
No, I mean, it's simply because
购买♥♥协议可能需要很长时间才能完成。
purchase agreements can take a long time to close.
你得处理版权和商标，
You have to deal with copyrights and trademarks,
你还需要验证专利。
and you have to also verify a patents.
我的意思是，理想情况下，你想要的是一个许可协议。
I mean, what you want, ideally, is a license agreement.
它更快，如果发明者
It's faster, and if the inventor
他在合同方面不是很有经验
isn't too experienced in contracts,
我可以花一小部分钱给你买♥♥那部手♥机♥。
I can get you that phone for a fraction of the price.
假设这手♥机♥值五千万美元。
Say the phone is worth $50 million.
我们授权五百万。
We license it for five million.
发明者拥有所有的专利，
The inventor keeps all the patents,
你马上就开始生产手♥机♥。
and you start producing phones right away.
如果它很受欢迎，每个人都能赚钱。
If it's a hit, everyone makes money.
但如果失败了呢?
But what if it's a flop?
这也没关系因为我们把你的风险降到了最低。
See, that's okay, too because we minimized your risk.
你不是花五千万买♥♥的手♥机♥，
You didn't buy the phones for $50 million,
你授权给它5英镑。
you licensed it for 5.
所以通过这条路线
So by going this route--
哇,哇。举起。
whoa, whoa. Hold up.
我给自己留了4500万，
I save myself 45 million,
我还能拿到电♥话♥?
and I still get the phone?
你确定他会同意吗?
Are you sure he's gonna go for this?
绝对的。
Absolutely.
好吧。让我们做它。
All right. Let's do it.
山姆，我很高兴你是这里的负责人。
Well, Sam, I'm sure glad that you're the one in charge here.
——谢谢。——好的。
- Thank you. - All right.
-我会给你打电♥话♥的。——说话很快。
- I'll call you. - Speak soon.
那是什么鬼东西?
What the hell was that?
嗯?你在刚才的客户面前质疑我。
Hmm? You second guessed me in front of the client back there.
一个巨大的客户。
A huge client.
不要再这样做了。
Don't ever do it again.
理解吗?
Understood?
山姆。我只是想帮忙。
Sam. I'm only trying to help.
哦。你好。我是阿光。计算机专家。
Oh. Hello. I'm Guang. The computer specialist.
我和芳芳一起工作。
I work with fang fang.
你好。鲍威尔和戴维斯。
Hello. Powell and Davies.
我是纽约来的乔伊。
It's Joey from New York.
嘿，这个座位有人坐吗?
Hey, is this seat taken?
我以为我的女朋友问题已经解决了，对吧?
I thought my girl problems were supposed to be over, right?
别对自己太苛刻了，伙计。
Don't be so hard on yourself, man.
我们都有干燥期。
We all have our dry spells.
你不明白，伙计。
You don't get it, dude.
我的一生都是一段干旱期。
My whole life has been a dry spell.
这就是我搬到这里的原因。
That's why I moved here.
但就在我出现之前，消息终于传开了
But just before I showed up, word finally got around
那个英语老师来这里只是为了找人上♥床♥。
that english teachers only came here to get laid.
唐纳德·!你做到了。
Donald! You made it.
很高兴见到你，唐纳德。
Great to see you, Donald.
你好。你好。
Hello. Hello.
你在这啊，我到处找你呢。
There you are, I've been looking all over for you.
看来你见过布莱德了。那就告诉我吧。
I see you met Brad. So lay it on me.
到目前为止，你觉得中国怎么样?
What do you think of China so far?
这很有趣。
It's interesting.
对不起，我脑子有点坏。
Sorry, my brain's a little fried.
我进来之后就没合眼过。
I haven't slept a wink since I got in.
到过那里。别担心。
Been there. Don't worry.
这将是你做过的最好的决定。
This is gonna be the best move you ever made.
等我回家再看会发生什么。
Well, we'll see what happens after I get home.
家是给笨蛋的。
Home is for suckers.
让我给你讲个故事。一会回来,
Let me tell you a story. Awhile back,
路易斯维尔来的油炸厨师
a fry cook from louisville
申请jfc的管培计划。
applies to the exec program at jfc.
他被录取了，但大家都认为他是个笑话。
He got in, but he was considered a joke.
后来，该公♥司♥在中国开设了门店。
Then the company opened up shop in China.
没人想去，所以他自告奋勇。
Nobody wanted to go, so he volunteered.
20年后,
20 years later,
他是公♥司♥薪酬第三高的高管，
he's the third highest paid exec in the company,
还有美国城的市长。
and the mayor of americatown.
这是一片充满机遇的新土地，山姆。
This is the new land of opportunity, Sam.
你好，很高兴见到你。
Hi there, nice to meet you.
这是阿曼达。她是单身。
This is Amanda. She's single.
你好,是的。我马上就来。原谅我。
Hi, yeah. I'll be right there. Excuse me.
你的朋友很直率，不是吗?
Your friend is rather direct, isn't she?
-是的。——我是蔡斯。
- Yeah. - I'm Chase.
——阿曼达。嗨。-嗨。
- Amanda. Hi. - Hi.
阿曼达，你来上海多久了?
How long have you been in Shanghai, Amanda?
四年。但这些酒吧不是我通常的去处。
Four years. But these bars are not my normal hangout.
我的都没有。
Mine neither.
我在乡村学校教书
I teach at a rural school,
所以我不常进城
so I don't get into town very often.
哦。
Oh.
你是做什么的?
So uh, what do you do?
搬迁专家。
Relocation specialist.
我帮助外国雇员找地方住
I help foreign employees find places to live
当他们的公♥司♥送他们——
when their companies send them--
嗨,漂亮。
hi, gorgeous.
你知道的，这让我很忙。
It, uh, you know, it keeps me busy.
尤其是客户有家庭的时候。
Especially if the client has a family.
我得让孩子们去国际学校上学
I have to get the kids enrolled in the international schools--
你真的很美，你知道吗?
hey, you're really beautiful, do you know that?
是的，完全可以接受。
Yeah, that's totally acceptable.
——嗯?——嗯?
- Hmm? - Hmm?
漂亮的中国女孩。
Pretty chinese girl.
在哪里?
Where?
任何你看。
Anywhere you look.
阿曼达!
Amanda!
布莱德。山姆。
Brad. Sam.
唐老鸭在哪儿?我以为他今晚是在炫耀你。
Where's Donald? I thought he was showing you off tonight.
是的，直到他被叫去舞池。
He was, until he got called out to the dance floor.
山姆，你的公♥寓♥怎么样?
So, Sam, how's the apartment?
它是安静的。我告诉过你我的主意行得通。
It's quiet. I told you my idea would work.
正确的。我不确定它是不是。
Right. I'm not sure that it did.
他们真的笑了
They actually kind of laughed
当我告诉他们你的诉讼威胁时
when I told them about your lawsuit threat.
承认我是对的让你很痛苦，是吗?
It really pains you to admit that I was right, is that it?
我给你找了个帅哥。
Hey, I found another cute guy for you.
他只有22岁。我们走吧!
He's only 22. Let's go!
阿曼达，她是单身，对吧?
So Amanda, she's single, right?
我以为她有个孩子。
I thought she had a kid.
离婚了。离婚后就搬来了。
Divorced. Moved here right after the split.
现在她的孩子长大了一点，
Now that her kid's a little older,
她的朋友们都想把她拉回约会的圈子。
her friends are trying to get her back in the dating scene.
嗯。
Huh.
不，不，不。你不能去那里。
No, no, no, no. You do not go there.
你来中国不是为了见白人女孩。
You didn't come to China to meet white girls.