老太啦啦队

No, I can't?
不 你当然能
No, of course you can!
我要上传一下我陌陌犹太版的头像
'Cause I'm taking pictures for my Jdate profile.
我不知道你是犹太人
I didn't know you were Jewish.
我不是
Oh, I'm not.
很高兴你没成为猫的盘中餐
I'm glad you're not cat food.
谢谢哈
Yeah, thanks.
-再见 -再见
- See ya. - Yeah, see you.
有人在吗
Hello?
-有人在吗 -嗯呐
-Hello? -Hey.
谢丽尔不在
Sheryl's not here.
你谁呀 我是说
Who are you anyway? I mean...
别跟我说你是她的园丁 我才不信
And don't give me that nonsense about being the gardener--
我住这 他们不让55岁以下的人住这
I live here. They don't let anyone under 55 live here,
所以我要尽量保持低调
so I gotta keep a low profile.
所以谢丽尔挺喜欢年轻人的 是吗
So Sheryl likes 'em young, does she, huh?
啥
What?
-啥 -谢丽尔是我的奶奶呀
- What? - Sheryl is my-- my grandma.
就是这样
Yeah.
那她到底在哪
And where is she anyway,
她在我的学校代课
She substitute teaches at my school
当她想赚点外快的时候就会去
when she needs the extra cash, so she's down there.
谢丽尔是个老师吗
Sheryl's a teacher?
你说是就是吧
If you can call it that.
她一上课我就假装生病
I pretend to be sick whenever she's there.
她有点丢人
It's kinda humiliating.
菲利斯老师休了病假 今天我们看电影
Miss Ferris is away sick, so we'll be watching a movie.
-请说 -看什么电影
- Yes. - What's the movie?
是个教育视频
It's an educational video
有关性病危害的
about the dangers of STDs.
你真的有资格教我们吗
Are you even qualified to be teaching us?
你叫什么
What's your name?
克洛伊
Chloe.
克洛伊 佐治亚州对就任代课老师
Well, Chloe, the state of Georgia has surprisingly low standards
的要求出奇地低
for substitute teachers.
如果你对此有意见
If you've got a problem with that,
你就要跟国会议员反映
you take it up with your congressman.
行 但我们本该学的是罗密欧与朱丽叶
Okay, but we're supposed to be studying Romeo and Juliet.
但你今天学的是性病
Well, today you'll be studying gonorrhea.
你想做♥爱♥吗
So you wanna have sex?
你应该在开始之前了解它的来龙去脉
You should know what's up before getting down.
♪ 耶 ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ 性♥爱♥欢愉别染病 ♪
♪ Sex can be fun, but there's STDs ♪
♪ 能不能治很难说 ♪
♪ Some can be cured But some you can't treat ♪
♪ 梅毒乙肝远离我 ♪
♪ Uh-oh, herpes! Oh, no, hep B! ♪
♪ 得了艾滋怎么办 ♪
♪ Whoa, oh! What if it's HIV? ♪
一 二 三 四
And one, two, three, four...
所以你是个老师
So you're a teacher.
我更喜欢称自己为人生导师
Well, I like to think of myself as more of a life coach.
我以前是个老师
I was a teacher.
-真的吗 -是啊 是啊
- Yeah? - Yes, yes.
你怀念那段时光吗
Do you ever miss it?
虽然有时候我会觉得
Sometimes. I mean, God, the hours
那份工作事倍功半
were long and the pay was ridiculous,
但是 应该 我觉得
but yeah, I guess I...
我是挺怀念的吧
guess I miss it.
话说回来 你怎么过来了
So, what are you doing here?
我有重磅消息要宣布
I have an announcement to make.
我们在阳光温泉成立一个啦啦队俱乐部吧
We're starting a cheerleading club at Sun Springs.
这个笑话是刚开始还是已经结束了
Is that the set-up or the punchline?
不 不 不 我是认真的 好吗
No, no, no. I'm really serious, right?
我是说我必须加入一个俱乐部
I mean, I have to join a club.
但我不喜欢其它的俱乐部 所以
I don't like any of their clubs, so...
我就自己建立一个
I'm creating my own.
对 别闹了 我说真的
Yes, come on, seriously!
你很清楚你自己有多老
You do know how old you are.
那有什么关系呢 我是说 我们只要
What's the difference? I mean, we'll learn
学几个动作就好了 没啥大不了 我
a few moves. There's nothing to it. I--
"我们"是什么意思
Hey, what's this "we"?
我知道这听起来很疯狂 但
I know this sounds so crazy, but I...
功成必定有你
I can't do it without you.
那我能得到什么
What's in it for me?
你想要什么
Well, what do you want?
我想你教本开车 他
I want you to teach Ben how to drive. He--
其他孩子都拿到驾照了
All of the other kids have got their license.
我觉得他会有点无地自容
I think he's embarrassed.
我很想手把手地教他 但我没有车
I'd teach him myself, but I don't have a car.
对 但 我♥干♥不了
Yeah, no, I can't do that.
干不了
Cannot do that.
那就是我开的条件 干不干随你
Well, that's the deal. Take it or leave it.
你才是那个告诉我说
You're the one who told me I should
我应该重拾啦啦队之梦的那个人 对不
take up cheerleading again, right?
我 我只是那么说说而已
Well, I-I didn't mean literally.
那只是隐喻 你懂吧
It was more of a metaphor for, you know,
是人和人之间套近乎的小办法
getting laid or something.
你懂的
You know.
接下来我们审查玛莎·沃克的申请
So next up we have Martha Walker's application.
到我们了
Okay.
我们想成立一个啦啦队俱乐部
We're starting a cheerleading club.
很好
Well.
但是你们为谁加油打气呢
But who will you be cheering for?
我们自己
Ourselves.
我们会参加老年才艺汇演的
And, of course, we will be performing for the Senior Showcase.
真的吗
will you?
抱歉 怕是不能让你们如愿了
Well, I'm sorry, but we can't allow this.
说啥呢 为什么不行
Oh come off it! Why not?
保险起见 安全第一
Well, insurance, for one thing.
这没什么不好的 权且娱乐一下
There's nothing dangerous about this. It's just for fun.
我们还要考虑到阳光温泉的荣誉
we also have Sun Spring's reputation to think about.
这是啦啦队舞蹈 不是钢管舞
It's cheerleading, not pole dancing.
抱歉
Sorry.
玛莎 你当过啦啦队队员吗
Were you ever a cheerleader, Martha?
不完全是
Not exactly.
我当过
Well, I was.
而且还是队长
Captain of my squad.
那你可真是嗨棒棒
What a surprise!
而且它对身体素质的要求超乎人们想象
And it's a lot more physically demanding than people realize.
就连年轻人也会吃不消
Even for younger women.
我还是建议你们创立一个
And may I suggest that you form a club that's a little more...
更适合我们这个年龄的俱乐部
age appropriate.
但你说过 如果我
I do believe that you told me that if I...
如果我找不到喜欢的俱乐部的话
if I didn't find a club that I really liked,
我就能自己建一家我喜欢的
I could start my own.
你到目前为止招到多少人了
How many members do you have? So far...
只有两个
Just two.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
你至少要8名成员才能创立正式的俱乐部
You need eight members to form an official club.
那我们会找齐8位成员的
then, we're gonna find eight members.
你们好 我叫奥利弗
Hi, I'm Olive.
我没有过参加啦啦队的经验
I don't have any cheerleading experience,
但是我的丈夫和我上过探戈舞课
but my husband and I, we take a tango class.
要么跳探戈要么离婚 所以
It was either tango or a divorce, so--
你直接展示你的才能就可以了
You could just show us what you've got.
那我开始了
Let me begin.
♪ 马林巴琴始作歌♥ ♪
♪ When marimba rhythms start to play ♪
♪ 君其和我共一舞 ♪
♪ Dance with me ♪
♪ 云鬓花颜金步摇 ♪
♪ Make me sway ♪
♪ 似那海洋绕海岸 ♪
♪ Like the lazy ocean hugs the shore ♪
♪ 心心相印紧相拥 ♪
♪ Hold me close ♪
♪ 金步舞动曲来终 ♪
♪ Sway me more ♪
-那真是太棒了 -真美好