老太啦啦队

God, I can't take it.
小心啊
Hey! Hey there!
-你 你好 -你好呀
- Yeah, hi, hello. - Hey
我想带你一起去吃午饭
I wanna take you to lunch.
不必了
That isn't really necessary.
顺便对你昨晚表示感谢
To say thank you for last night.
多么美妙的一晚 是吧
Whoa! What a night, right?
来吧 我不想听到拒绝
Come on, I don't take no for an answer!
我已经早早领会到这点了
I gathered that.
我赌你绝对没有其他安排
I bet you haven't got other plans.
-好吧 -那就上车
- Okay, fine. - Then hop in.
快上车 不然就太晚没饭吃啦
Hop in. We're gonna be late.
知道了 我这就上来
I got it. I'll get in right now.
-这真是 -我保证你会喜欢的
- This'll be... - I promise you'll love it.
♪ 出牌红心女王 ♪
♪ Playing with the Queen of Hearts ♪
你为什么会来阳光温泉
So what brings you to Sun Springs?
我听说南方佳人很不错
Well, I heard really good things about the Southern Belles.
-南方佳人 -是的
- The Southern Belles. - Yeah.
别烦我了
Gimme a break.
一群卑鄙的老姑娘和傻不拉几的俱乐部
Bunch of mean, old gals and their stupid club.
-谢丽尔 -你好
- Sheryl! - Hi!
很高兴见到你
Good to see ya!
你属于哪个俱乐部
What clubs do you belong to?
我只是稍微现一下身 假装我有兴趣
Well, I just turn up, pretend I'm interested,
这样就能吃到所有的免费食品了
and eat all the free food.
我们会在老年才汇演示上看到你的表演吗
Will we be seeing you perform at the Senior Showcase
我听到好多人在说这个
I've heard so much about?
当然不会
Oh, no.
我唯一的天赋就是打牌和闲逛
My only talents are poker and poking.
打牌和闲逛
Poker and poking?
你要带我去哪
Where are you taking me?
这里真正的好处
The real perk about this place...
就是一直会有人死掉
is that people are constantly dying.
他们把所有葬礼都列在文件里
They list all the funerals in the papers,
所以永远都有成吨♥的免费食物
and there's always tons of free food.
来 把这放到你包里
Here, put this in your purse.
不不不不 我不要
No, no, no, no. No.
谢谢 放你自己包里吧
Put it in your own purse, okay? Thanks.
可我的包已经满了 把它塞进去就行
Well, mine's already full. Just shove it in.
-不 我真的不想这样 -好吧
- No, I don't really want to. - Oh, okay.
我们去表达一下尊重吧
Shall we go pay our respects?
-好 我要走了 -你想来杯饮料吗
- Okay, I'm outta here. - Do you want to have a drink?
不 不 我晚点再喝 谢谢
No, no, I'll have a drink later, thanks.
我走了
I'm outta here.
玛莎 我是谢丽尔
Hey, Martha! It's Sheryl!
我们要玩宾果了 希望你加入
We're going to bingo and we'd love for you to join us.
奖品丰厚
There's some great prizes!
听着 我很抱歉
Listen, I'm sorry
带你去那种地方
about taking you to that wake.
我知道你不喜欢 对不起
I know you didn't like it. I'm sorry.
这
It was...
总之
Anyway,
回个电 好吗
give me a call, would you?
我都没见到你了
I haven't seen you.
我想 你知道 宾果很好玩
I'd love to... You know, bingo's fun.
你好 玛莎
Oh, hi, Martha.
我希望你能接我电♥话♥
I was hoping you'd pick up.
我们要打保龄球 希望你也来
We're going bowling and we'd love you to join us.
我能教你
I can teach you.
很简单的 只用手腕就行了
It's simple. It's all in the wrist.
你就给我回个电吧 好吗
So give a call, why don't you?
再见
Bye!
我是蒂姆·尼科尔斯
I'm Tim Nichols.
死亡代价不菲
Now, death can be expensive.
尸体要防腐 要准备棺材
There's the embalming, the caskets,
花圈 葬礼和墓地费用
the flowers, the funeral and cemetery fees,
这些也只是一小部分而已
just to name a few.
如果你想找一个更好的办法来处理这些事
If you ever wondered if there's a better way,
那么 现在就有啦
well, now there is.
通过我们的定制葬礼烟花
Send your loved one off in style by sending their ashes up
把你爱人的骨灰洒向空中
in one of our custom-made funeral fireworks.
我保证他们将乐在其中
I guarantee they'll get a bang out of it.
什么鬼
What?
天呐 怎么回事
Oh, my God, what is this?
你特么的在干什么
What the hell are you doing?!
我在干什么
What am I doing?
天呐 我还以为有小偷
Oh, my God! I thought you were a burglar!
你已经好几天没出门了
You haven't been out of this place for days!
我就想你是不是在浴室里摔昏了什么的
I thought you'd slipped in the shower or something.
我还在想你是不是被猫给吃了呢
I was worried the cats were getting at you.
我不养猫
I don't have cats.
老天呐
Jesus Christ!
-你差点把我给吓死 -我知道
- You could've killed me with that thing! - I know.
你是谁
Who are you?
我们来喝些酒吧
Let's have some wine.
来吧 坐下
Come on, let's sit down. Oh!
好吧
Okay, yeah.
天呐 靠
Oh, my God, Jesus Christ.
我真的很抱歉当时对你态度那么差
I'm really sorry about being such a bitch at the wake.
我当时正烦着别的事情
I was mad about something else, and, you know,
我不该在你身上撒气的 还有
I shouldn't have taken it out on you, and...
不 该抱歉的是我 我不该指使你的
No, I'm sorry for telling you what to do.
你是个成年女人 当然要随心所欲
You're a grown-ass woman. You can do whatever you want.
大概吧
Yeah.
这是什么
What's this?
只是些老旧的垃圾
Oh, no, it's just a bunch of old junk.
你以前是啦啦队的吗
You were a cheerleader?
你可真是浑身都充满惊喜
Oh, aren't you full of surprises?
啦啦队小姐哟
Ms. Pep Squad.
校园女王
Queen of the campus.
那简直就像上辈子的事情了
Yeah, in another life,
如果你这么说的话
I guess you'd call it.
那时候我经常跑步回家
I used to just come running home
这样就能训练一下午了
so that I could practice all afternoon,
这把我妈彻底逼疯了
and it drove my mom totally crazy.
我当时可以说是想它想疯了
That's how bad I wanted it.
是啊
Yeah.
我试了三次但都没成功
And I tried out three times and I never made the cut.
但是 终于
But get this.
我在高中的最后一年
Finally, in my senior year,
进了校队
I made the varsity squad.
迟到总比不到好
Better late than never!
是啊 可就在我们首场比赛的前一天
Yeah. On the day before our first game...
我发现我妈妈病得很重 所以
I found out that my mother was very sick, so...
我
I, uh...
我离队了 开始全心全意地照顾她
I quit the team, you know, started to take care of her.
你知道 天啊 我
Man, you know. Oh, my God. I...
我从未
You know, I never...
我从未表演过
I never did perform.
不 那
No, that's...
也许你该再尝试一次
Maybe you should give it another shot.
是啊
Yeah,
说不定达拉斯牛仔啦啦队还有个空位呢
maybe the Dallas Cowgirls have an opening, right?
是啊
Yeah.
-你知道吗 -什么
- You know what? - What?
我真喜欢这个
I really love this.
我觉得它 挺性感的
I think it's kinda... sexy.
你不觉得吗
Don't you think?
我能借去吗
Could I borrow this?
不行
No.
我不能吗