电影43（2013）

No! Oh, no!
好吧
All right.
9-1-1? 我朋友的阴♥道♥在流血!
9-1-1? Yeah, my friend is bleeding out of her vagina!
内森 内森 听我说!
Nathan, Nathan, listen!
为什么你在嘲笑我?
Why are you laughing at me?
就是... 阿曼达的内脏内膜...
It's just... it's... The... The lining of Amanda's...
从身体里排出来
internal organs just spilling out of her.
天啊!
Oh, my God!
我不会死的!
Look, I'm not dying!
我找到了冻豆子和一块海绵!
I got frozen peas and a sponge!
如果要保持内膜完整
If you wanna keep the lining intact,
男人需要把勃起的阴♥茎♥插入她的阴♥道♥
the man has to insert his erect phallus into her vagina.
什么?
A what?
你们猜我找到什么好东西了?
You know what? I got a perfect thing.
插在棍子上的卫生棉
Maxi pad on a stick.
天啊! 我死了算了!
Oh, my God! I wanna kill myself!
你们好! 宝贝儿 你准备好要走了吗?
Hello! Hey, baby, you ready?
- 麻♥痹♥的♥出什么事了? - 爸!
- What the hell's going on here? - Dad!
天啊! 宝贝儿!
Oh, my God! Honey!
你家得多变♥态♥
What the hell kind of sick family
才会把这么大一个西红柿砸到
squashes a large tomato...
我女儿裤子上?
on my daughter's pants?
哇 看看你是怎么暗讽我们家的
Whoa. Watch what you're implying about my family.
有什么好看的 杰克!
Oh, I don't gotta watch anything, Jack!
- 是吗? - 是的!
- Yeah? - Yeah!
你推我?
You touching me?
是的 是的 傻♥逼♥ 我推你了!
Yeah, yeah, bitch, yeah!
- 你还推我? - 你不准推我!
- You touching me? - You're not to touch me!
- 我们出去练 傻♥逼♥! - 我们走!
- Let's go, bitch! - Let's go!
打他! 照喉咙打!
Sucker punch him! Sucker punch him in the throat!
都给我闭嘴!
Everybody shut up!
只是个普通的七年级女孩来大姨妈而已
Look, I'm just a regular seventh-grade girl getting my period,
被你们这群白♥痴♥撞到 真是太差劲了
and it really sucks that it had to be in front of all you idiots.
爸 给我妈打电♥话♥ 让她回家等我们
Dad, call Mom and tell her to meet us at home.
她来大姨妈了?
She's got her period?
真恶心
So disgusting.
你没有那种防水布能借我用用 是吧?
You don't have a camping tarp I could borrow, do you?
发生这些事我很抱歉
Sorry about all that.
嗨 宝贝儿 不要坐在车里!
Hey, honey, don't sit in the car!
阴♥道♥真是太复杂了!
Vagina is way too complicated!
是啊 绝不是盖的
Yeah, no shit.
真的?
Really?
爸 太威武了
Dad, that was epic!
我从早上开会的时候起就一直攒着这个屁呢
I've been trying to push that puppy out since this morning's conference call.
哇! 我要去拉屎 然后我们看比赛
Woo! I gotta take a massive dump, and then we're watching the game.
- 嗯 - 好的!
- Yeah. - Yes!
真棒!
Oh, nice!
丹碧丝月经棉塞 全方位防漏
快点 过来 过来
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
看我们找到谁了
Look who we found.
J.J.?
J.J.?
- 史蒂夫·施瑞德? - 我就说吧
- Stevie Schraeder? - I freaking told you.
靠.. 妈的! 怎么找到他的?
Wh... What the fuck! How'd he get there?
史蒂夫 跟他们说电影四十三的事!
Stevie, tell them about Movie 43!
什么电影四十三? 他们一直在问我这个
What's Movie 43? They keep asking me that.
把史蒂夫·施瑞德的手指切下来
Cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger.
什么!
What!
不 不要切史蒂夫·施瑞德的手指!
No, don't cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger!
不要切我的手指! 求你了!
Don't cut off Stevie Schraeder's finger! Please!
电影四十三不是真的
Movie 43 isn't real.
只是我和卡尔文编出来耍你的!
It's just something Calvin and I made up to prank you!
显然它一定是存在的
Well, apparently it is real,
我们要找到它
and we need to find it
不然你那傻♥逼♥朋友就死定了!
or else your stupid friend dies!
- 除非... - 除非什么? 什么?
- Unless... - Unless what? Unless what?
我可以做一个91-F-西塔箱
I can fashion a ninety-one-F-Theta Box.
不要 不要用西塔箱 拜托! 不要那样做!
No. Not the Theta Box. Please! Do not do that!
快去! 弄个西塔箱 管它是什么呢
Go! Make a Theta Box, dude. Whatever that is.
好吧 不用等我
Okay. Don't wait for me.
检索"电影四十三"+"是否存在"
电影四十三在哪 在哪?
Movie 43. Wh... Where is it? Where is it?
混♥蛋♥ 滚开
Go fuck yourself, asshole!
别这样
Don't do this.
布莱恩 我们是最好的朋友啊 别搬走
Brian, we're best friends, man. You can't move out.
你干了我的女友 老兄
You fucked my girlfriend, dude.
才一次
One time.
连续干了一周
For a week.
- 什么? - 但我想补偿你的
- What? - But I want to make it up to you.
我能干♥你♥女友吗?
Can I fuck your girlfriend?
可以 但是她发现我睡了你女友之后
Yes, but she broke up with me...
就和我分手了
when she found out I slept with your girlfriend...
所以这事我办不了
so I can't arrange it.
但布莱恩 我有惊喜给你
But Brian, I got you something.
最好的生日礼物 你一定会喜欢的
Best birthday present ever. You are going to love this.
- 有必要吗? - 相信我
- Is this really necessary? - Trust me.
最好是...
It's better if it's a...
一 二 三 想不到吧
One, two, three, surprise!
吃惊吧 老兄 生日快乐
I know, right, buddy? Happy birthday.
你绑♥架♥了一个爱尔兰小矮子
You kidnapped an Irish midget.
小矮妖:爱尔兰精灵 喜欢搞恶作剧
不 这是小矮妖
No, I caught you a leprechaun.
笨蛋 根本就没有小矮妖
Moron. There's no such thing as leprechauns.
老兄 看着
Dude, watch this.
嘿 小兄弟
Hey, little buddy.
跟我朋友说 你会给我们一大罐黄金
Tell my friend you're going to give us a big pot of gold.
我要切掉你蛋蛋然后喂你们吃掉
I'm going to cut off your balls and feed them to you!
天啊
Good Lord.
他在开玩笑 他会给我们黄金的
He's just joking. He's got to give us the gold.
这是行规 是吧?
That's the rules. Right?
你等着看我♥操♥♥死♥你!
The last thing you'll ever see is my cock, skull-fucking you!
我再问他一次
Let me ask him again.
你♥他♥妈♥的把黄金交出来
Give us the fucking gold!
我拿一把破剪刀操翻你时
Do you want the lights on or off...
你喜望开着灯还是关灯呢?
when I fuck you with a pair of rusty scissors?
住手 住手 冷静 冷静
Stop, stop! Chill! Chill!
你在干什么? 你这样会弄死他的
What are you doing? You're going to kill him!
当心 放松 我来处理 好吗? 我来处理
Watch out! Relax! I'll handle this, okay? I'll handle this.
嘿 小矮妖先生
Hey, Mr. Leprechaun.
我为此感到非常抱歉
I am super sorry about this.
这是个误会
It's just a misunderstanding,
我马上就给你松绑 把你放了
so what I'm going to do... is untie you and let you go.
这样如何?
How does that sound?
好的 但首先
Okay... but first...
先给我口♥爆♥一下 你这狗♥娘♥养♥的杂种
Lick my crusty Irish taint, you yeast-breeding cunt hole!
去死 去死 你这小混球
Die! Die, you little magical fuck!
哇 停 停 好好想想
Whoa, stop! Stop! Think!
他死了 就无法告诉我们黄金藏在哪
If he's dead, he can't tell us where the gold is!
该死的巨人 不要脸的混♥蛋♥
Fucking giants. Motherfucking full-growns!
一结束 我马上干破你♥妈♥的♥私穴
When all this is over, I'm going to crawl up your mother's cunt...
再在上面插棍点篝火
and start a fucking campfire!
闭嘴 你什么也做不了
Hey! No! Shut up! You can't do anything...
你这么个矬样 被绑在椅子上
because you're tiny and tied to a chair,
没人知道你在哪
and nobody knows where you are.
没人知道
No one!
此言差矣
I wouldn't bet on that.
谁打过来?
Who's calling?
喂
Hello?
快死之人就是这么说话的
So this is what a dead man sounds like.
- 又一个小矮妖 - 操
- It's another leprechaun. - Fuck!
是我哥哥打来的话
If that's my brother...
做好老二被绑到消防栓上的准备吧
prepare to have your dickhole stretched over a fucking fire hydrant!
- 你怎么那么嘴贱? - 封住他嘴
- What's wrong with your fucking mouth? - Gag him.