电影43（2013）

你的蛋蛋
Your balls...
听着 你这个臭婊♥子♥
Listen, Cookie O' Puss...
小矮妖在我这 把金子交出来 不然我杀了他
I got a leprechaun and I want some gold or we're going to kill him.
我把你的蛋蛋切了怎么样?
How do you feel about having your balls cut off?
靠 他们那么喜欢蛋蛋
Jeez, they're so into balls.
我是认真的 最好把金子交出来
I'm serious. You better make with the gold...
不然你的小矮妖就要被大卸八块
or your little green man will be pushing up four-leaf clovers!
你的语气够强硬 很好
That was so good. You sounded so tough.
好吧
Okay.
他说什么?
What did he say?
他说好吧
He said "Okay."
不可能 他怎么来得这么快?
No way. How did he get here so fast?
太好了
Sweet!
- 金币 - 金的
- Gold coins! - Gold!
- 老兄 生日快乐 - 太好了
- Happy birthday, dude! - Holy crap!
我们得到金币了 还留着这个小贱♥货♥?
So, we get the gold and we keep this little fucker?
你听见没? 看来你的护身符失效了啊
Did you hear that? Looks like your lucky charms just ran out.
现在是谁的魔法管用啊 臭婊♥子♥?
Who's magically delicious now, bitch?
什么? 你说什么?
What? Did you say something?
有个这么大个金盆 听不见你讲什么
I couldn't hear you over my giant pot of leprechaun gold!
今早的高♥潮♥来了 婊♥子♥们
Top o' the morning, ladies!
他打中了我的眼睛
He shot me in the eye!
他打中了我的乳♥头♥
He shot me in my nipples!
我一只眼瞎了
I'm half goddamn blind!
让你知道凯尔特人的厉害
Taste Celtic steel!
老兄 就是这样 干♥死♥他
That's right, brother! Fuck him up good!
这就是拿走小矮妖的黄金的下场
This is what happens when you take a leprechaun's gold!
用你的小妖刀捅他 切掉他蛋蛋
Stab him with your leprechaun knife! Cut off his balls!
快上啊!
Go leprechauns!
- 见天国去吧 - 什么?
- Walk to the rainbow. - What?
- 切掉他蛋蛋 - 救命 皮特 救命!
- Cut off his balls! - Help! Pete! Help!
我要把你蛋蛋剁碎!
I'm going to mangle your balls!
开枪打死这个死小矮妖
Shoot him! Shoot the fucking leprechaun!
你个笨蛋 不是那个小矮妖 是这个!
You moron! Not that leprechaun! This leprechaun!
圣帕特里克:爱尔兰守护神
跟圣帕特里克说这样爽死了
Tell St. Patty you like it up the ass!
现在怎么办?
What now?
这些小矮妖也太小了嘛
Not much to these guys.
是啊 比我想象中的还小
Yeah. I thought they'd be bigger.
嘿 皮特 我要对你说声谢谢
Hey, Pete, I just want to say thank you.
- 是啊 黄金很多 - 不仅仅是因为黄金
- Yeah, it is a lot of gold. - Nah, it's more than gold.
抓住小矮妖肯定也费了不少工夫
Catching that leprechaun must have been hard work.
只有真正的朋友才会为我这么做
Something that only a true friend would do for me.
我要是没有睡过你女友就好了
Yeah, well, I should have never slept with your girlfriend.
没关系 再买♥♥个新女友就好了
Whatever. We can buy new girlfriends.
老兄 我都把你的第二份生日礼物给忘了
Dude, I totally forgot the second part of your gift!
不是吧?
Really?
- 她是谁? - 仙女 童话书中的仙女
- Who is she? - She's a fairy. Storybook fairy.
要个仙女有什么用?
What the hell am I supposed to do with a fairy?
你给我金币 我帮你吹♥箫♥
I suck cock for gold coins.
J.J. 腾个地方出来!
J.J., make some space!
我能做点什么?
What can I do?
找点♥金♥属来 现在就要
I need metal. Right now! Go!
用你的拆装玩具
Use your Tinker Toys.
奖杯 勺子
Trophies! Spoons!
别再冲我喊了 马上就好
Stop yelling at me! I'll do it!
- 好 - 开始 启动序列
- Right. - I'm go. Initiate sequence.
这样有效吗?
Is this going to work?
但愿行
It better!
好了
Here we go!
怎么搞呢?
How do you do this?
快好了
We're getting close!
看到没?
Yeah?
是啊 快成功了
Yes, we're getting very close!
一杯玛格丽塔 谢谢
Uno marguerita, por favor?
加盐吗?
You want salt?
嗯 很好
Sí, bueno.
- 你呢? - 朗姆鸡尾酒 谢谢
- And for you? - Whynatte and rum, please.
好的
Got it.
问你个问题好吗? 私人问题
Do you mind me asking a question? It may seem personal.
我很吃惊
I'm quite surprised
您有这么一张漂亮的脸蛋还要求助于
that a lady with your face needs to resort to...
- 婚恋网? - 是啊
- Match dot com? - Right.
说真的 我身边的备选者全部都很无趣
Truth is, I have completely exhausted all of my options.
- 是吗? - 是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
真可惜 你的生活圈子真的那样?
Oh, dear. That's a shame. And are you from the area?
不 我们别这样 好吗?
No. Let's not do that, okay?
这些年我相亲无数
I've been on so many blind dates in the past year,
他们总是问同样的问题
and they're all the same.
"你住哪? 你姐妹是做什么的?"
"Where are you from? What does your sister do?
你的父亲..." 一堆废话
What does your father..." Blah, blah, blah.
就算我父亲是清洁工 你真的在乎吗?
Do you really care if my father is a garbage man?
你的父亲是清洁工吗?
Is your father a garbage man?
不是 这不是重点
No, he's not! That's the point.
- 管他呢? - 无关紧要
- Who cares? - Not important.
所以别再那样问了 这次约会我们玩点新花样
So let's not do that. Let's have this date be different.
- 说点切实际的 好吗? - 好
- Let's talk about real things, okay? - Great.
- 直接了当地说话 - 我一向如此
- Real, straight conversations. - I'm all about that.
你父亲到底是做什么的?
So what does your father do for a living?
好吧 来玩个游戏
Okay. Let's play a game.
- 好 - 你玩过真心话大冒险吗?
- Okay. - Have you played Truth or Dare?
没玩过 但我听说过
I haven't played it, but I'm aware of it.
那你先吧 你先问我 "真心话还是挑战"
Well, you start first. You ask me, "Truth or Dare."
- 真心话还是挑战? - 真心话
- Truth or Dare? - Truth.
在这个神奇的宇宙
Is there any possibility in this noble cosmos...
或其他的平行宇宙里
or any alternative parallel cosmos where you might...
有没有可能 我是你的菜?
Is there any chance I'm your type?
当然有 你长得高
Yeah. Yeah. You're tall.
- 高个子好? - 我喜欢高个子
- And that's good? - I like tall.
好吧 真心话还是挑战?
Okay, Truth or Dare?
真心话
Truth?
就知道你会这么说 我说的会有点过哦
I knew you'd say that. I am going to push the limits just a little bit.
- 你切过包皮吗? - 我切包皮了吗?
- Are you circumcised? - Am I circumcised?
这是隐私
That's personal.
在我住的地方 没有切包皮的习惯
Circumcision has never really taken off, to be honest, where I'm from.
这个不是 不是很流行
It's not... it's not the vogue.
我觉得只有犹太人会这么做
I tend to associate it with Jewish people...
在欧洲又没有多少犹太人
and we don't have many Jewish people in Europe anymore...
因为他们摊上点... 小麻烦
because of the... trouble.
所以 我没有切
So, no, I'm not.
但如果你想让我切 我可以切的
But if you would need me to get circumcised, I'm sure I could.
- 真心话还是挑战? - 真心话
- Truth or Dare? - Truth.
你最后一次亲男人是什么时候?
When was the last time you kissed a man?
二十六天前 在普拉提工作室后的小巷里
Twenty-six days ago in an alley behind a Pilates studio.
真心话还是挑战?
Truth or Dare?
挑战 我试试挑战
Dare. I'm going to go with a Dare.
好的 终于来点给力的了
Here we go. Now we're cooking. Okay.
我向你挑战 你要去那边
I dare you to go over there.
看到穿黑夹克的那个猛♥男♥了吗?
See that man with the black jacket? The husky guy?
我向你挑战 去捏他屁♥股♥
I dare you to go and pinch his ass.
- 要做什么? - 去捏他屁♥股♥
- Do what now? - Just cup it.
抓住他屁♥股♥ 捏捏
Grab his cheeks and cup it.
- 不了吧 - 去吧
- No. - Yeah.
是你说挑战的 不是我 挑战就是要这样
You said Dare, not me. That's what Dare is.
- 你看看他 他那么... - 我见了
- Have a look at him. He's quite... - I see him.
去他身后 捏他屁♥股♥
Go back there and cup his ass.
他那么强壮
He's quite a stocky man.
- 他可能带着把刀 - 看来我白来了
- He might have a knife. - I don't even have to be here.
你不想玩的话
I can go home and watch Family Guy
我还是回家看<居家男人>好了
if you don't want to play.
我要买♥♥单了 打扰一下!