电影43（2013）

Hi.
看
There.
开始野餐吧
Now it's a picnic.
你喜欢巧克力脆皮草莓吗?
Would you care for a chocolate-covered strawberry?
天啊 亲爱的 说到浪漫
Oh my gosh, sweetie. Talk about romantic.
太完美了!
This is perfect!
朱莉 我们在一起一年多了...
Julie, we've been together for over a year...
十六个月两个星期
Sixteen months and two weeks.
这段交往时期 我意识到你对我来说很重要
And in that time, I've come to realize that you mean everything to me.
道格 你也是
Oh, Doug. You, too.
有些话我想问你
And there's something I want to ask you.
我也有些话想问你
There's something I'd like to ask you.
好吧 你先
Okay, uh, you go first.
- 不 你先 - 不 你先
- No, you go first. - No, you first.
不 你先嘛
No, you first.
不然我们同时说出来好了?
How about we say it at the same time?
好啊
Okay.
- 一 二... - 一 二
- One, two... - One, two.
你愿意和我来几炮吗?
Will you poop on me?
- 什么? - 你愿意和我来几炮吗?
- What? - Will you poop on me?
什么 你什么意思...
What? What are you...
等等 你在说什么?
Wait, what did- what did you say?
我信任你 我觉得你就是我的灵魂伴侣
I... I trust you. I feel like you're my soul mate.
我想送你份厚礼 把我的第一次给你
I want to give you this gift. I want you to be my first.
拉一泡...
To poop...
- 在我身上 - 什么?
- On me. - What?
你不想吗?
You don't want to?
不是 我...我是说...
No, I... I mean...
你对我没感觉了吗?
Are you not attracted to me anymore?
宝贝 当然有感觉
Of course I'm attracted to you, honey.
那你愿意? 对我来一炮吗?
So will you? Poop on me?
哥们 你算是中奖了
Ah, man. You just hit the fucking lottery, man.
你不觉得要在她身上拉屎很奇怪吗?
You don't think it's a little weird for wanting him to shit on her?
慢着 哥们 尊重下这位兄弟 可以吗?
Slow down, man. Have some respect for this guy, okay?
她不是要他来一发
She did not ask him to shit on her.
来一发只是找妓♥女♥逢场作戏
Shitting is something you do on a whore.
- 对 - 对?
- Right. - Right?
屎交是献给灵魂伴侣的礼物
Pooping is a gift you give to your soul mate.
- 必须的 - 我从没这么想过
- of Course. - I never looked at it like that.
说吧 兄弟 有啥煽情菜?
So tell me, man, what's on the menu?
在你行动之前告诉我嘛
Before you do the big deed.
我不...我不知道 有那么重要吗?
I don't... I don't know. Does it fucking matter?
- 她是素食主义者? - 不是
- Is she a vegetarian? - No.
多好的机会! 你个大傻蛋 真愚蠢到不行
Boom! Big beef burrito, with extra beans on that bad boy.
放些调味汁和鳄梨色拉酱来调色嘛
Put some salsa, some guacamole for color.
便出来的话 会充满节日气氛 你懂的吧?
When it come out of you, it's a festival. You know what I'm saying?
为了心上人就豁出去吧 听见没有?
You went the extra yard for your lady. You hear me?
不了 我还是弄点有品位的东西 好吗?
No, I'm doing something classy, okay?
我会烤黄鳍金枪鱼牛排 做份沙拉 开瓶红酒
I'm doing seared ahi tuna steaks, a salad, and red wine.
- 不 不! 不能这样 - 不错
- No. No, no, no! Fuckin' no! - Nice.
重点不在于吃上去怎么样 而在于产生的效果
It's not about how fancy it goes in. It's about how fancy it comes out.
相信我 墨西哥菜真的催便能力超强
Well... And believe me, Mexican food makes a fuckin' mess.
可别吃沙拉
And don't mess with fuckin' salads.
你知道沙拉有什么作用吗? 会让你便秘
You know what salad does? It locks down your bowels.
你不希望上垒的时候肠子不给力吧? 当然不
You don't want your bowels all locked down, do you? No.
喝酒还不错 喝上几杯
Drinks are cool. Have a few fuckin' drinks.
会让你挺得更持久
Makes you last longer.
更持久?
Last longer?
拜托 你不想成为挤便先生 对吧?
You don't want to be Mr.Two Squeeze, Thank-You Please, right?
- 你肯定不想的 - 比利 该死的
- You really don't want to be that. - Billy, goddamn, Billy.
我俩大人谈话你就不能走远点啊
Why don't you go over there while grown people are talking over here.
去一边玩你的美国大兵玩具吧
Go over there and play with your GI Joes or some shit, man.
恩 我去就是了
Yeah, I'll go over there.
记着 用我的建议试试
Look it. Take my advice on this one.
今晚就出去找人试试 好吗?
You go out tonight and you shit on a few skanks. Okay?
马力全开
Get it all out your system.
你明天一准儿做回真男人
Fuckin' tomorrow, you are a one-poop man.
懂吗?
Understand?
这是毛东西?
What the fuck is this?
兄弟 泻药界伟哥啊 帮你一泄(泻)千里
Viagra, brother. Poop Viagra. Yeah.
- 你随身携带? - 对啊 就是随身携带
- Just carry that on you? - Yeah, I carry that shit around on me.
- 户外烤肉也带着? - 还真被你说对了
- At barbecues? - You goddamn right.
我吃不惯荤腥的东西
I got a meat problem.
各种肉类都是 我得去方便一下
All your fuckin' meat, I gotta clean that shit out.
- 好吧 - 好吧? 随便
- Okay, yeah. - Okay? Fine, then.
- 我准备好了 宝贝 - 噢 不是吧
- I'm ready, sweetie. - Oh, fuck.
马上
One second.
泻药
我爱她 我爱她
I love her. Hey, I love her.
- 噢! 你看起来真美 - 谢谢
- Oh, oh! You look nice. - Thank you.
那么 我们就...
Okay. Let's go...
哇哦 哇哦x7f亲爱的 你要干嘛?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Honey. What are you doing?
我要干嘛? 我... 你知道我在干嘛
What am I doing? I'm... You know what I'm doing.
我尽力...
I'm trying to, you know.
还不是时候 猛♥男♥ 我想慢慢享受
Not yet, tiger. I wanna savor this.
好吧 我有点... 额...
Oh, okay. Well, I kinda... I kinda got to, uh...
不 不 不 不 来 来吻我
No, no, no, no. Come here. Come here and kiss me,
然后给我你的特别礼物
and then you can give me your special present.
- 快说你有多爱我 - 我很爱你
- Tell me how much you love me. - Oh, I love you so much.
- 有多爱? - 爱你爱到肯为你杀人
- How much? - I love you so much I'd kill a man.
现在开始吧 拜托?
Can we do this, please?
- 我买♥♥了瓶特制薰衣草润肤露 - 好吧
- I bought this special lavender lotion. - Okay.
给我脖子擦擦乳液咯
Why don't you get my neck ready.
你想涂在脖子上?
You want it on your neck?
怎么了? 你不愿意吗?
Why? Does that not work for you?
愿意 愿意 来吧
It's fine, it's fine. Here we go.
很不错
That's nice.
好吧 好吧 我们来吧 让我们...
Okay, okay. There we go. Let's get it and...
- 不 不 还没到 - 什么?
- No. No. Not yet. - What?
- 不 过来 - 干嘛?
- No. Come here. - What?
- 你太兴奋了 - 我知道 我把持不住了
- You're so excited. - I know. I can't stand it.
还记得我们相遇的那天么?
Gosh. Remember the day that we met?
记得
Yes.
你有没有想过有天你会...
Did you ever think that someday you'd be able to...
- 你懂的? - 老实说 不 不 我不懂
- you know? - Honestly, no. No, I didn't.
还记得我那天穿了什么吗?
Do you remember what I was wearing that day?
宝贝 我穿了什么?
Baby, what was I wearing?
记得我那天穿了什么吗?
Do you remember what I was wearing?
一件黄色夏装!
A yellow sun dress!
快点! 转过去 让我拉你身上吧!
Come on! Roll over and let me shit on you, please!
你说什么?
Excuse me?
抱歉 拉一泡 拉在你身上
I'm sorry. Poop on you. I meant poop on you.
宝贝 我绝不是有意对你不敬
Honey, I would never shit on you.
宝贝 我绝不会拉你身上?
I would never shit on you. Honey?
回来 我爱你! 操!
Come here. I love you! Fuck!
真不敢相信
Oh, I can't.
朱莉! 回来!
Julie! Come back!
宝贝! 我爱你! 我想向你求婚!
Oh, baby, please! I love you! I want you to marry you!
我的天啊! 道格 不!
Oh, my God! Doug, no!
上帝啊!
Oh, jeez!
噢 上帝! 我的上帝!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- 道格! 赶紧叫救护车 - 马上!
- Doug! Doug! Call a fucking ambulance! - I'm on it!
坚持住 宝贝 好吗? 坚持住 你会没事的
Hold on. Hold on, baby, okay? Hold on. You're gonna make it.
朱莉 我爱你
Oh, Julie, I love you.
我爱你
I love you.
这些都是给我准备的?
All of this was for me?
是的 我想是吧
Yeah, I guess so.
是吗? 太美了 这是我见过的最美场面
Oh, yeah? It's so beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
是的...我愿意嫁给你
Yes... I will marry you.
道格 我愿意嫁给你
I will marry you, Doug.
熟♥女♥当道
网上最火♥辣♥的熟♥女♥会出现在哪里