电影43（2013）

CougarCrate, where the web's hottest cougars hang out.
熟♥女♥当道 太牛逼了
CougarCrate. Perfect.
准备好了呦 熟♥女♥们已蓄势待发
Prepare yourselves, because the cougars are on the prowl.
看看你 太正点了 我喜欢那个反战标志
Look at you. You are nice. I like that peace sign.
开始热身...什么事?
Just warmin' up... What?
卡尔文?
Calvin?
发... 发生什么事了?
Wh... What's going on?
Beautiful Mind: <美丽心灵>里的克劳叔犯过这毛病
他开始钻牛角尖了
He's gone all Beautiful Mind on us.
他已完全失控
He's off the fuckin' grid.
- 拜托 巴克斯特 想想法子! - 兄弟
- Come on, Baxter. Think! - Dude,
他把这玩笑当真 要搞出大事了
he's taken this shit to a whole new level.
所有东西...除以九...
Everything... divided by nine...
卡尔文 太棒了
Calvin, great.
J.J.和我试图限定我们的搜索条件
J.J. and I were trying to delineate our search protocols.
你能多提供些关于这个视频的信息吗?
Can you tell me anything more about this video?
你从哪里得知的?
Where'd you hear about it?
圣史蒂夫·施瑞德
St-Stevie Schraeder.
史蒂夫·施瑞德 史蒂夫
Stevie Schraeder. Stevie.
就是它! 是时候大显身手了
Got it! It's time to bring out the big guns.
"鹰眼特狙网"? 这是什么?
"Falcontron"? What's this?
这是网上最牛的搜索引擎
It's the most elite search engine on the Internet.
只有五十个人有使用权限
Only fifty humans have access.
其中十二人是国家领袖
Twelve are heads of state.
那你怎么进去的?
So how do you have access to it?
我黑了BND的主机
I hacked into the mainframe of the Bundesnachrichtendienst.
别编词了 巴克斯特 又开玩笑了
Stop making up words, Baxter. Seriously.
他总这样 他只是在骗人...
He does that all the time. He just makes up...
是德国情报局
It's the German intelligence bureau.
- "情报局"? - 别废话了
- "Bureau"? - It's not a word.
尊敬的顾客朋友们
Attention P-Town shoppers
请看看我们刊在<时尚女刊>上的宣传♥单♥
Be sure to check out our insert in Sassy Lass magazine...
科尔博士旗下产品特惠惊喜价
for killer deals on the Dr. Cole family of products.
另有"舞会必备"减价特卖♥♥
We're now offering a buy one get one "Senior Prom" special...
羔羊皮安全套和瓶装酒买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥
on lambskin condoms and boxed wine.
当然还有"赖账老爹"优♥惠♥
And don't forget our "Deadbeat Dad" discount.
所有一次性相机和儿童棒球组合打折出♥售♥
On all disposable cameras and whiffle ball bats.
亲们 阴♥部♥干痒吗?
Got a dry, itchy vag?
今天 飞逸乳液特惠 买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥
Today, we are offering a two-for-one deal on Beave Lotion.
这款乳液保湿效果大受广大女士的青睐
That's lotion for your beave by Moisture Maid, ladies...
现在第四通道打折出♥售♥中 请惠顾...
now on sale on aisle four. Be sure to check out...
尼尔
Neil.
维罗尼卡
Veronica.
尼尔
Neil.
你憔悴万分啊
You look pale.
你孕味十足
You look pregnant.
你像是睡厨房♥馊水池的
You look like you slept in a soup kitchen urinal.
你像是在那流产诊所后废墟里泡过澡的
You look like you bathed in a Dumpster behind the abortion clinic.
你就是那圣诞节得癌症的倒霉孩子
You look like the kid who got cancer for Christmas.
The Golden Girls:<黄金女郎>
几位老奶奶住在一起回忆过去
你就是混迹夜♥总♥会♥的老荡♥妇♥
You look like the slutty one on The Golden Girls.
<黄金女郎>里角色名
- 你说桃乐茜? - 布兰奇.
- Dorothy? - Blanche.
收回那话! 你♥他♥妈♥婊♥子♥养♥的♥!
You take that back! You son of a bitch!
收回那话! 收回那话!
You take it back! Take that back!
我想好好品尝你
I want to taste you.
慢慢舔到你湿得不行
I want to lick you till you weep.
你胃酸反流怎么样了?
How's your acid reflux?
你的瘤病毒病怎么样了?
How's your HPV?
是你发病了 维罗尼卡 我只是携带者
It's your HPV, Veronica. I'm just carrying it.
我们还是别来争论先有鸡还是先有蛋了 尼尔
Let's not have another chicken or the egg debate, Neil.
不行 开始
No. Let's.
- 鸡 - 蛋
- Chicken. - Egg.
你那涂满
Your flesh...
可可油的肌肤
slick with cocoa butter...
让我魂牵梦绕
it haunts me.
维罗尼卡怎么样了?
How's Veronica?
维罗尼卡很好 维罗尼卡
Veronica's fine, Veronica.
真不敢相信你居然把你的狗叫做维罗尼卡
I can't believe you named your dog Veronica.
无法想象你居然会去
Can't believe you sucked off
和魔法豆游乐场的流浪汉搞口♥交♥
that hobo from Magic Bean.
他是男巫 尼尔
He was a wizard, Neil.
嘘 我想推倒你
Shh. I wanna be on you.
上你
In you.
我想...
I wanna be...
吻遍
all...
你的下巴
over your chin.
你还喜欢法式焦糖布丁吗?
Do you still like crme brle?
你还喜欢被爆菊吗?
Do you still like fingers in your butthole?
你明知故问
You know the answer is yes.
噢 尼尔
Oh, Neil.
维罗尼卡
Veronica.
- 尼尔 - 维罗尼卡
- Neil. - Veronica.
我想忘记你
I wanna get over you.
我想在你阴♥部♥留下爱的印记
I wanna give you a hickey on your vagina.
你已经做到了 尼尔
You already have, Neil.
你已经做到了
You already have.
教堂见
I'll see you in church.
我要先去找你...
Not if I see you f...
我说两句?
May I?
我不是罗密欧 诸位 但我知道什么是爱
I'm no Romeo, folks, but I know what love is.
爱情就是在你首次互戒会上隔着裤子撸一发
It's an over-the-chinos rub and tug during your first AA meeting.
对 对 没错
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
如果我是你
And if I was in your shoes,
我会不惜低声下气奋力把她挽回
I would climb Dick Mountain mouth first just to get her back!
对的 先生
Yes Sir!
我们会让那小狐狸精
Are we gonna let that foxy little thing...
随便就与这男孩不相往来吗?
run willy-nilly out of this boy's life?
不会! 不会!
No! No!
我们要帮助这年轻人
Are we gonna help this youngster...
挽回那甜妞吗?
take that sweet ass to pound town?
- 你什么时候换班? - 凌晨五点
- When's your shift up? - Five a.m.
- 我代班到三点 - 三点到五点我来!
- I'll take it till three. - I got three to five!
谢谢
Thank you.
无需多说
Don't be a bitch about it.
去追她回来 孩子!
Go get her, son!
这是什么?
What's that?
音乐新畅享
爱宝
没你想的那么激动人心 也就是...
It's not as exciting as you might think. It's... It's...
对我来说 也就是助人为乐
For me, I like to say it's more about, just like, helping people, you know.
- 不是处罚不法分子 - 是的 我懂的
- It's not about punishing criminals... - Right, yeah, I totally understand.
- 帮助人会让我觉得开心 - 罗宾!
- It's just, it makes you feel good... - Robin!
- 不是吧 - 罗宾!
- Oh, no. - Robin!
罗宾 你去哪啦? 嗨 你好啊
Hey, Robin. Where you been? Hi, how you doing.
你竟敢和假释官爽约
You missed your meeting with your parole officer.
什么? 假释官?
What? Parole officer?
不是 他开玩笑的
No. He's kidding.
是啊 这家伙前阵子惹了点麻烦
Yeah, yeah, this guy got in some trouble a while back for...
在操场上玩弄他的小鸡鸡
whipping out his little Dick Grayson on a playground.
没有 我才没有
No, I didn't.
但是 没事的
But, it's all good.
我是说 反正你老婆都原谅你了 是吧?
I mean, your wife forgave you, right?
- 什么? - 你结婚了?
- What? - You're married?
- 误入婚途了啊 - 不是 我没有!
- Married pervert. Yeah. - No, I'm not!
史黛西 我没有结婚! 他开玩笑的!
Stacey, I'm... I'm not married! He's kidding!
兄弟 你这可是躲过一劫啊
Oh, man. Dodged that bullet.
你♥他♥妈♥想干什么 蝙蝠侠! 都被你给毁了!
The hell are you doing here, Batman! You're gonna ruin this!
淡定啦! 听着 我刚刷微博看到
Calm down! Hey, look, I read on Twitter...
一超级混♥蛋♥要来炸场子
that a super-villain's gonna bomb this loser meet and greet.
所以我来拯救拯救啦 我不是向来如此嘛
So I'm here to save the day, like I do, all the time.
你懂啦 这是我的职责
I mean, you know, it's my thing.
- 谁要我是蝙蝠侠! - 胡说八道