电影43（2013）

我会
I did.
艾琳·布劳科维奇: 出演电影<永不妥协>
放轻松 死较真儿
Take it easy, Erin Brockovich.
研发小组 你们做过大量试验
R and D team. You did extensive testing here.
各位预料下 会有人破坏冷却系统吗?
Did you anticipate anybody breaching the cooling system?
有没有反对意见?
Any red flags?
戴夫?
Dave?
而且 我们把问题分解成了三步
Also, we've broken down our problem into three steps.
第一 孩子们购买♥♥爱宝
Step 1: Kid buys iBabe.
第二 孩子们和爱宝乱搞
Step 2: Kid fucks iBabe.
第三 孩子们的老二被切坏了 控告我们
Step 3: Kid mangles dick and sues us.
我们的目标是 杜绝第二步和第三步
Our goal is to eliminate step two and step three.
现在我知道问题出在哪了
Now I know what the problem is.
为什么不把风扇移走?
Why don't we just move the fan?
为什么不放在她的耳朵里?
Why don't we just put it in her ear?
不不不不不不 先生
No. No, no, no, no, no, sir.
我们花了两年才取得这些成果
Uh, my team spent two years doing the impossible,
你这样几乎就是命令我们从头开始
and you're pretty much just telling us to go back and start from scratch.
你懂的 就是打自己的脸
You know, to go fuck ourselves!
听我说 爱宝重达一百多磅 知道吗?
Okay, look. The iBabe weighs over a hundred pounds, okay?
把它带到公共场合是违法的
It's basically illegal to take it out in public.
妇女组织正在呼吁联合抵♥制♥我们公♥司♥
Women's organizations are calling for the boycott of our entire company.
我们的股价直线下跌
Our stock is plummeting
而且孩子们的小♥弟♥弟♥时刻都可能受重伤
and kids' dicks are getting horribly mangled!
进来 进来 进来
Uh, come in, come in, come in.
先生 请允许我为您介绍特版爱宝
Sir, may I introduce you to the iBabe Special Edition.
天啊
Oh, my God.
更快的处理器 双倍内存
Faster processing, double storage capacity,
还有这优雅的外形
and how about that elegant finish.
真是太美了 太美了 太美了!
Just gorgeous. Gorgeous, gorgeous!
- 恭喜你! - 谢谢
- Congratulations! - Thank you.
终于可以为顾客提供肤色选择了
Finally we can give our customers a choice of color.
天啊 我怎么觉得它烂到不能再烂了呢
Oh, my God. Just when I thought it couldn't get more offensive.
饶了我吧
Oh, for Christ's sake.
啊 现在我懂了
Yeah. Now I understand.
爱宝
只可远观 不可亵玩
够了! 够了!
Enough! Enough!
你们想要什么? 钱? 女人?
What do you want? Money? Women?
不要再找电影四十三了
Just stop looking for Movie 43.
嗨! 你们是谁?
Hey! Who are you?
电影四十三 电影四十三在哪?
Movie 43. Where is Movie 43?
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
电影四十三在哪? 不许说谎!
Where is Movie 43? Don't lie!
放开我! 别碰我! 不要!
Get away from me! Get off me! No!
他妈的!
The fuck, man!
那么你们知道一定电影四十三在哪里
So you know where Movie 43 is.
不!
No!
能让你预见未来的电影
The movie that allows you to see into the future.
不要! 它会毁了全社会!
No! It will destroy society!
按照协议 会使死人复活的!
He will unleash the dead up in protocol!
史蒂夫·施瑞德跟你说过这些吗?
Did Stevie Schraeder tell you any of this?
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is this Stevie Schroeder?
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is Stevie Schroeder?
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is this Stevie Schraeder?
我不认识史蒂夫·施瑞德!
I don't know Stevie Schraeder!
- 你在说谎! - 搞什么?
- You lie! - What the fuck?
操!
Fuck you!
史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁?
Who is Stevie Schroeder?
快告诉我史蒂夫·施瑞德是谁!
You tell me where Stevie Schroeder is!
那混账是谁?
Who is this motherfucker?
妈的 他是我驾驶课的同学!
He's a kid in my fucking Driver's Ed class!
J.j.和巴克斯特
You will find us Movie 43,
你们要为我找到电影四十三
J.J. and Baxter.
麻♥痹♥的♥
What the fuck, man!
继续找!
Keep looking!
- 我在找! - 不要找!
- I'm looking! - Don't look!
我想去参加萨米成人礼 在等答复
I'm, uh, RSVP...ing to Sammy's Bar Mitzvah.
我也是
Yeah, me too.
只去聚会 不去成人礼现场
The party, not the service.
我妈♥逼♥我两个都参加 太逊了!
My mom always makes me go to both. Sucks.
是啊
Yeah.
哇哦!
Yeah!
内森这次终于找到妹子约会了!
Nathan on a date for once!
天啊 米奇 闭嘴!
Jesus, Mikey, shut up!
什么? 妈妈让我看着你们的
What? Mom told me to watch you guys.
我只是按她说的做
I'm just doing my job.
我是认真的 米奇 走开!
I mean it, Mikey. Leave!
我在盯着你哦!
I'm watching you.
抱歉 我哥哥是个白♥痴♥
Sorry, my brother's an idiot.
没事的
Whatever.
- 这有卫生间吗? - 当然 就在那后面
- You have a bathroom? - Totally. It's right back there.
- 呸! - 内森?
- Yuck! - Nathan?
内森 我...
Nathan, I...
我哥哥把果汁喷趣酒洒在沙发上了
My brother spilled fruit punch on the couch.
染了好大一块红色
There's a big red stain.
我 我 嗯... 我要走了
I, I, um... I need to go.
但是再过半小时才会有人来接你啊
But you're not getting picked up for another half hour.
要再坐一会儿看看电视吗?
Wanna sit and watch some more TV?
好 我... 我就...
Yeah. I'll... I'll just...
我就在这边站着看吧
I'll just watch it from back here.
好棒 我喜欢站着
That's cool. I like standing.
哇! 米奇还把果酒喷到墙上了!
Whoa! Mikey spilled fruit punch on the wall, too!
我妈会气疯的!
My mom is gonna be so pissed!
内森 我真的要走了
Nathan, I really need to go!
嗨 小情侣 希望我没有...
Hey, lovebirds, I hope I'm not...
天啊 你流血了! 噢 天啊!
Holy shit, you are covered in blood! Oh, my God!
- 什么? - 噢 天啊!
- What? - Oh, my God!
- 天啊! - 天啊!
- Oh, my God! - Oh, my God!
天啊! 你一定是...
Oh, my God! You must've s...
坐在钉子或者什么东西上了!
sat on a nail or something!
你个白♥痴♥! 她这是来大姨妈了!
You idiot! She's having her period!
天啊!
Oh, my God!
我该做什么?
What do I do?
你不知道该做什么?
You don't know what to do?
你之前没有来过大姨妈?
You've never had your period before?
- 没有 - 噢 天啊!
- No, I haven't. - Oh, my God,
米奇 她已经流了好多血了!
Mikey, she's already lost a lot of blood!
好吧 嗯 听好了?
Okay. Um, you know what?
妈妈在这边存放过一些卫生棉条 知道吧?
Mom's gotta have some tampons around here somewhere, right?
天啊! 真不敢相信!
Oh, my God! This is not happening!
妈的! 你比妈妈瘦小多了!
Fuck! You are way skinnier than Mom!
那... 那东西绝不适合你用!
There... There's no way they're gonna fit you!
我想走回家去!
Look, I'm just gonna walk home!
不 不 不! 你不能就这样走回家 傻瓜!
No, no, no, no! You can't walk home in your condition, silly!
米奇 快!
Mikey, hurry!
只能找到塑料袋!
There's just plastic bags!
我不知道我他妈还能干什么!
I don't know what the fuck you want me to do!
- 干嘛? - 自己擦一擦!
- What? - Wipe yourself!
嗨 嗨 嗨! 孩子们 我提前回来了
Hey, hey, hey! Guys, I'm home early.
爸 帮帮我们!
Dad, help us!
怎么回事 我是内森的爸爸 我叫史蒂夫
Pardon me, I'm Nathan's father, Steve.
先塞住止血好了 我找到了这个 还有这个
Oh, we're just gonna have to plug it up. I found this and this.
出什么事了?
All right, what's going on here?
内森这次约会正赶上她第一次来大姨妈
Nathan's date is on her period for the first time,
她的血流得到处都是!
and she's bleeding everywhere!
- 噢 真恶心 - 什么?
- Oh, disgusting. - What?
我是说 恭喜你 小姐
I mean, congratulations, young lady.
"恭喜"? 她要流血致死了!
"Congratulations"? She's bleeding to death!
天啊! 我的肚子好疼!
Oh, my God! My stomach hurts!
她在宫缩了!
She's having contractions!
不要! 噢 不!