哥们营地搞笑之旅（2019）

YeahOkay.
嘿 嗯 那这个呢
Hey, uh, what about, uh, what about this one?
不 不 那烧不了
No, no, that won't burn.
还在上面 这些不行
Up top, let's not make a thing out of this.
但这看起来可以
But this one's got, like, kindling on it.
还是要上面的才可以
Got to have that top wood, bud!
你改变主意的正是时候 伙计
About time you came around, man.
好戏马上开始
We were like ten minutes away from a show tunes review.
是的 伙计 你是对的 这个家伙必须要走
Yeah, man, you're right. This guy's got to go.
你知道 如果这张地图可以做到
And you know, if this map is the way to do it,
那么我认为值得一试
then I guess it's worth a shot.
听起来不错 凯夫 你加入吗
Sounds good to me. Kev, you in?
我一生致力于和平主义 那个
I've dedicated my life to pacifism, so.
太好了 凯夫要参加
Great, Kev's in.
我 但是我先说好 别弄出人命
I, I do draw the line at murder though.
棒
Sweet.
我举了几根手指
How many fingers am I holding up?
三个吗 好的 你会没事的
ThreeGood job. You're going to be fine.
我还在往下落吗
Am I still falling?
黑暗的邪恶已经唤醒 你需要逃离这个地方
A dark evil has awakened. You need to flee this place.
谁说的 这只不过是小问题啦
Oh, nonsense, it's just a scratch.
嘿 凯夫 帮我个忙
Hey, KevDo me a favor,
我还带了这么多的柴火下来
there's a lot of good wood that came down with me.
到处都是
It's all over there in the woods.
帮我拿起来一下
Just, just pick it up, would you?
所以 嗯 你曾经生过火吗
So, uh, Al, you ever start a fire before?
没有 保密哈 蒂姆 你妈妈和我...
No. Confidentiality, Tim, your mother and I...
-太好了 伙计 嘿 小凯 -怎么了
- That's great, man. Hey, Kev. - Yeah?
你过来 给艾伦说说
Why don't you come over here and
咱们男子汉营地怎么生火
show Alan how to start a Man Camp fire.
没问题
Oh, sure.
你拿上这个 呃 这叫做火石
You take, uh, this is called a flint.
然后 拿起火镰 继续这样
And you take, uh, the back of a knife and just get going.
哦 很好 你可以打出一些火花
Oh, that's good, you're getting some sparks.
真的有火花
Really getting some sparks there.
哦 让我来 我想我可以做到 谢谢
Oh, let me, I think I can do that. Thank you.
-是的 -来吧 哥们
- Yes! - There you go, bud.
现在 你可以看到火花
Now you got a spark going there.
-哦 -好吧
- Oh! - All right, Al.
知道了 就像鞭炮
You got it, you're like a firecracker.
-过来 伙计 试一试 - 我
- Al, come on over, man. Try it on the pile. - Me?
-是的 你很好 -让我近点
- Yeah, you're good. - Let me get in close.
我想我看到了魔鬼
I think I saw Satan.
-哦 -是的
- Oh! - Yes!
-哦 -对你来说有点多了
- Oh. - A little much for you there, Al?
噢 不 啤酒不对劲
Ew, no, there beer is not right.
哪里出问题了
There's something wrong there.
- 芦笋的味道 -蒂姆
- Asparagus. - Timbo?
蒂宝 该你了 伙计 我玩的太好了
Timbo, it's your shot, I'm killing it out here, man.
-蒂姆 -蒂姆
- Tim- Tim!
蒂姆
Tim?
蒂姆 蒂姆 该我们了 兄弟
Your pound, Tim. It's our shot, bud. Bud?
蒂姆
Tim?
蒂姆
Tim?
嘘 嘘 嘘 是我 是我
Shh, shh, shh. It's me, it's me.
-你脸上涂灰了吗 - 什么
- Are you in blackface- What?
不 这是海军的海豹迷彩涂料 别那么菜鸟
No, it's Navy Seal camo paint, don't be such a noob.
- 你在做什么 -为下一步计划部署
- What are you doing- Going commando for this next phase.
那你弄成这样干吗
What does that have to do with anything?
只是把艾伦带到小溪
Just get Alan out about 15 yards
旁边15码的树林
into the woods towards the creek.
- 好的 - 好的
- Okay. - Okay.
嘿 嗯
Hey, um, d
你在杯子里撒尿了吗
id you pee in one of the cups?
我撒了所有的杯子
I peed in all the cups.
这是我的招牌动作 每个人都输了
It's my signature move. Everybody loses.
-你翻了四 -不
- You rolled a four. - No!
我的意思是说一个严重的失败
I mean, talk about a critical fail.
因此 他陷入了结界
So he garrisoned on an enchantment.
没错没错
Exactly! Exactly!
- 难以置信 - 难以置信
- That's unbelievable! - Unbelievable!
你 甚至不用担心
You, don't even worry about it,
因为我们在聊地下城与勇士
because we're just rapping some D&D here.
-他不知道 -你不知道
- He don't know. - You don't know.
你们在一起打团吗
You guys having, like, a fellowship together?
-是的 不是 这比公会更像是行会 -是的
- Yes, and no, it's more of a guild than a fellowship. - Yeah!
艾伦 那个 我要你下山去小溪那边
Alan, actually uh, I need you to go down um, to the creek
去小河边拿些东西
to um, get something from the creek.
什么 这是秘密吗
What, is it a secret?
呃 打些水...水
Uh, water... water.
明天做早餐要用
For breakfast tomorrow.
-但是我们不能用水槽里的吗 -不可以喝
- But can't we just use the sink- It's not potable.
听着 艾伦 我们在这还有事要做
Listen, Alan, we all got to pull our weight around here.
你能去那里吗
Can you just head down there and get that?
我会不负期望 把东西带回来的
I will be back before you can say prestidigitation.
哎呀
Whoops!
这条小河挤满了贾第虫
The, the creek, it's swarming with Giardia.
是的 有可能
Yeah, probably.
低 中 高 满
Low, medium, high, full.
你来啦 哥们
There you are, buddy.
- 我们在做什么 -嘘 看就好
- What are we doing- Shh! Watching.
去拿点水 对我来说轻而易举
Go get some water, I can do that easy enough,
只要我找到小河
as soon as I find the creek.
-专业强度电化动物围栏 -你来啦
- "Professional Strength Electrified Animal Fence." - There you go.
来吧 继续走
There you go, keep walking.
所以 我想每个人都应该尽自己的一份力量
So, I guess everybody's got to do their share.
每个人都必须承担起自己的责任
Everybody's got to carry their weight.
他是什么意思
What did he mean by that?
对我来说 这听起来像是个胖子
It sounded like kind of a fat crack to me.
就在我的小...
Right into my little...
他在做什么
What's he doing?
该死 他在撒尿
Dammit, he's taking a piss.
嘿 你确定这是安全的吗
Hey, are you sure this is safe?
艾伦
Alan!
妈的
Oh, shit!
老兄 老兄
Dude, dude!
该死
Sick.
- 发生了什么 -我不知道 凯文
- What happened- I don't know, Kevin.
-艾伦 - 什么
- Alan- What?
-艾伦 你还好吗 - 哦 我的上帝
- Alan, are you okay- Oh, my God.
-他还好吗 -我不知道 凯文
- Is he okay- I don't know, Kevin!
妈 该上学了吗
Mom, is it time for school?
让他去沙发上
Let's get him to the couch.
艾伦 嘿 你还好吧 哥们
Alan, hey, you okay, bud?
- 什么 什么 -你还好吗
- What, what- Are you going to be all right?
-谁 我 -是的
- Who, me- Yeah.
哦 不 我是说 不 我很好
Oh, no, I mean, no, I'm fine.
嘿 伙计们 我错过什么了吗 哇 你怎么了
Hey, guys, what'd I missWoof, what happened to you?
哦 我不知道
Oh, I don't know.
我只是在放松一下
I just relieving myself,
然后我听到凯文在叫我 然后
and then I heard Kevin calling me over, and then
我感受到一股强大的能量
from out of nowhere this surge of,
从我的小鸡鸡涌了进来
this surge of energy entered from my, my penis.
然后我整个身体都被震到了
And then it just electrified my entire body.
我们没有问你第一次看到海豚跳跃时发生了什么
We didn't ask what happened the first time you saw a dolphin jump.
外面怎么回事
What happened outside?
-你会没事的 艾伦 - 我不知道
- Are you going to be all right, Alan- I don't know.
我是说 我想是 我只是不知道发生了什么
I mean, I think so, I just, I don't know what happened.
可能是热闪电
Heat lightning probably.
你的尿液可能铁含量比较高
You must have some extremely high iron levels in your piss.
一定吸引了