哥们营地搞笑之旅（2019）

Thanks, Kevin, yeah, we're not torturing this guy.
但是谢谢你破坏了整个周末
But thank you for ruining this entire weekend
因为你那愚蠢的计划
because of your stupid little plan.
所以 你宁愿只是我们三个人在这里
So, you'd rather it just be the three of us up here?
当他在我们屋子里抚摸我们妈妈时 我们爸爸的妈妈
While he's down in our house touching our momDad's Mom?
兄弟 我不比你更喜欢这个人
Dude, I'm not a bigger fan of this guy than you are,
但我们需要一个切实的计划
but we need a real plan.
你表现得好像我画的这张如此
You're acting as if I didn't create
详尽的地图
an incredibly detailed map for that very purpose!
你知道这里有什么危险吗
Are you even aware of what's at stake here?
凯文 告诉他你告诉我的话
Kevin, tell him what you told me.
你的梦想成为唯一不可能实现的地方
The only place a dream becomes impossible
就是你自己的想法
is in your own mind.
关于妈妈和艾伦
About Mom and Alan.
哦 嗯 他们...彼此相爱
Oh, um, they... they love each other.
他们如何彼此相爱
And how do they love each other?
在床上
In the sheets.
谢谢
Thank you.
-好吧 -有时候在沙发上
- Well... - Sometimes on the couch.
凯文 明白了 把这几件事放在一起
Kevin, got it. Kind of put two and two together
当我们走进来 妈妈躺在熊皮地毯上
when we walked in on Mom spread eagle on the bearskin rug.
爸爸的熊皮地毯
Dad's bearskin rug.
爸爸妈妈的熊皮地毯
Dad's Mom's bearskin rug.
蒂姆 我想因为你
Tim, I'm not going to jail again
愚蠢的计划而坐牢 洗洗睡吧
for another one of your stupid little plans. Goodnight.
嘿 我开始有种感觉
Hey, I'm starting to get the feeling
你不在乎捍卫妈妈的荣誉
you don't care about defending Mom's honor.
-爸爸妈妈的荣幸 -好的 首先 爸爸的妈妈是奶奶
- Dad's Mom's honor. - Okay, first of all, Dad's mom is Grandma,
其次 是的 我绝对会在乎
and second, yes, I absolutely do care,
但是必须有更好的方法
but there has to be a better way.
就是这样 伙计 选择站哪一边
This is it, man. Pick a side.
我站在你这边 但是你现在这样的表现
I'm on your side, but this kind of childish shit
就是是妈妈不告诉我们这些
is the exact reason that Mom doesn't tell us
这些所有事情的原因
any of this stuff in the first place.
谢谢爸爸 谢谢你给我上的这一课
Thank you, Dad, for the lecture.
嘿 如果你看到我的兄弟 请告诉我
Hey, let me know if you see my brother around,
我需要他的帮助
I need his help with something.
-我就在这里 蒂姆 -不是你 凯文
- I'm right here, Tim. - Not you, Kevin.
我说的是丁格尔船长
I'm talking about Captain Dingle over here.
你知道吗 伙计 行吧
You know what, dudeFine.
你试试杀了他 看会有什么后果吧 好吗
You just kill a guy and see where that gets you, okay?
玩得开心
Have fun.
我没疯 好吧 伙计 我知道了
I'm not crazy, okay, dude. I get it.
你知道 也许将来有一天
You know, maybe one day in the future
妈妈要去找个男的或什么的 好吗
Mom's going to find some guy or something, okay?
我并不完全会反对这一点
I'm not totally opposed to that,
但是如果他不能通过一些关于男子气概的测试
but if he can't prove himself a worthy successor,
来证明自己
by a few tests of manhood,
那么 也许他不是对的人
then, you know, maybe he's not the right guy.
老兄 死亡不是对男儿气概的考验 他又不是耶稣
Death is not a test of manhood, dude. He's not Jesus.
他不能从死里复活
He can't rise from the dead.
甘道夫就可以
Gandalf did it.
甘道夫可以 我谢谢你 凯文
Gandalf did it, thank you, Kevin.
选啊 亚当 你来不来吗
Make a choice, Adam. Are you in or out?
选
Choose!
那是熊吗
Is that a bear?
熊坑
Bear pit.
传说
Legend.
我要睡了
I'm going to bed.
当我醒来时
And when I wake up,
最好丢掉你的想法
this little idea of yours better be gone.
好吧 亚当
All right, Adam.
你是领导 地图不要了
You're the leader, map's out.
是的 刚开始我就知道
Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it, bud.
这么大的蛇得南美才有
A snake this large would have to be flown in from South America.
-现在 我有一个... -给我
- Now, I have a guy but... - Give me that!
那是什么味道
What's that smell?
哦 我们的小懒虫起来了
Oh, I see we have a late riser on our hands.
亚当 下午好
Good almost afternoon to you, Adam.
什么...这是怎么回事
What's... what's going on here?
艾伦在为我们做早餐 素食煎蛋卷
Alan made us breakfast, cruelty-free veggie omelets.
-还有羽衣甘蓝之类的 -哦
- They've got kale and everything. - Oh.
就像噩梦变成现实一样
It's like a dream come true.
-你会喜欢的 -这很好吃 艾伦
- You're going to love it. - These are delicious, Alan.
亚当 要来点什么
Now, Adam, what'll it be?
你想来两个散养母鸡的蛋吗
Would you like a two cage-free free range egger
还是三个散养母鸡的蛋
or a three cage-free free range egger?
嗯 随便
Uh, whatever.
什么蛋
What egg-er?
我...我不知道
I just... I don't know.
我们刚刚告诉艾伦
We were just telling Alan
我们如何制定周末计划
how we're throwing out our plans for the weekend,
这样我们就可以彼此了解
so we can just get to know each other.
哦 太好了
Oh, great.
太好了 谢谢你 蒂姆 谢谢
That's great, thank you, Tim. Thank you.
你知道 我不想打扰 但我想知道
You know, I don't want to interrupt, but I just was wondering,
你们来这儿时通常做什么
what do you guys usually do when you're here?
我的意思是 你出去玩吗
I mean, do you just hang out?
还是就聊聊天 还是其他什么的
Do you just kind of shoot the crap, or what?
就是 一般男孩子玩的的东西
Just, you know, typical guy stuff.
我们 呃 我们生火
We, uh, we light stuff on fire.
喝点啤酒
We drink alcoholic beers.
还有 钓鱼 随便吧
You know, fish, whatever.
哦 那么 我得把那个去掉
Ooh, yikes, I'll definitely have to sit that one out,
因为我无法想象还有比这更残酷的事情
because I can't imagine anything crueler
你想 用钩子钩住你的嘴
than having a hook in your mouth.
我觉得 呃 哦
I mean, just, ugh, ow.
我 嗯 我尊重你对所有事物的
I, um, I respect your compassion
同情心 你也知道的
for all creatures on this earth, you know I do.
但是 嗯 你必须听我说
But, um, and you got to hear me on this.
鱼不是生物
Fish are not living things.
他们就像大海里的蔬菜 不用担心 艾伦
They are the vegetables of the sea. No worries, Alan.
不要钓鱼
Fishing's out.
不管我们的计划了
Our plans are out the window.
-我们想听听你的计划 -真的吗
- We want to hear about your plans. - Really?
你妈妈和我经常去看鸟
Your mother and I were going to do some birdwatching,
所以我们绝对也可以这么做 而且这也适合当下的时节
so we could definitely do that, and they're in season,
然后 哦 最重要的是 我们没有鸟
and then also, oh, this tops it. We not even bird.
我所有的剪贴簿材料都放在这里
I have all my scrapbooking stuff up here.
-剪贴簿 -嗯
- Scrapbooking- Mm-hmm.
亚当喜欢剪贴簿
Adam loves scrapbooking.
不会吧 你也喜欢吗
No way! Are you a scrapper?
- 嗯 -我感觉我们就像双胞胎
- Uh-huh. - I totally felt that, we're twinsies.
好吧 为什么你不来安排下呢
Well, tell you whatWhy don't you take the reins for today, huh?
-你觉得呢 亚当 -我在过去24小时内听到的最好的计划 蒂姆
- What do you say, Adam- Best plan I've heard in the past 24 hours, Tim.
哦 太好了
Oh, that's wonderful!
就是这样 我要面对挑战
This is it, I'm going to step up to the challenge.
好吧 有人要第二份吗
Okay, does anybody want seconds
因为还能再加一点
because we definitely have seconds?
那是一只鸟吗
Is that a bird out there?
-10:00之后我不吃早餐了 - 哦 好的 小凯
- I don't eat breakfast after 10:00. - Oh, okay. Kev?
拿一个吧
Pick one of those.
哦
Ooh!
- 哇 - 你喜欢它么
- Wow! - You like it?
给你
There you go.
你真没劲
你真没劲
不 你才没劲
实际上 你才没劲
嘿 嘿 嘿 ...
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
这是我七年级的写的日记 关于我的梦想
This is from my seventh grade dream diary,
嗯 “有一天我会交到朋友的 ”
and it's, uh, "One day I'll have friends."
好吧 伙计们 真棒队得三分