哥们营地搞笑之旅（2019）

Don't you have classes or something?
兄弟 我修到了足够的学分
Dude, I've had enough credits
毕业一年半了
to graduate for a year and a half.
好吧
okay.
嗯 你打算找份学位相关的工作吗
Um, so are you going to, like, use your degree for your job or?
-别扯远了 兄弟 -对 对 对
- Don't push it, bro. - Right, right, right.
- 几点了 -嗯 大约七点 七点接你吗
- What time- Uh, how 'about sevenPick you up at seven?
-四点钟到这里 -大概一个小时
- Be here at four. - That's in, like, an hour.
我就知道 我知道艾伦永远不会发送色情邮件
I knew it, I knew Alan would never send sex mails
给一个叫希拉的女人
to some woman named Sheila.
是的 凯文 我想我们所有人都想歪了
Yeah, Kevin, I think we all got a little carried away.
现在 如果那是凯蒂
Now, if it were Katie.
别再说我老婆了 计划是这样
Stop talking about my wife. Here's the plan.
凯文 你比任何人都更了解艾伦
Kevin, you know Alan better than anybody,
所以你和蒂姆要去找他
so you and Tim are going to go find him,
道歉 并把他带回这里
apologize, and bring him back here.
道歉
Apologize?
我不知道那是什么意思
I don't know what that means.
按我说的做 混♥蛋♥
Just do it, asshole.
听起来不错
Sounds good to me.
- 我们开始吧 -放下剑 凯夫
- Let's do it. - Put the sword down, Kev.
那么 我们要去哪里
So, where are we going?
现在是星期二下午11:30
It's 11:30, Tuesday afternoon.
需要我为你讲清楚吗
Do I have to spell it out for you?
从顶部开始
From the top and punch.
是的 哦 你做得很好
Yes, oh, you're doing so good.
给我看看 是的
Show me that body, yes!
膝盖 双膝 越来越重 莱斯利
Knee, double knee, harder, harder, Leslie!
莱斯利 重一点 不用那么重
Harder, not that hard, Leslie.
可别在地板上拉屎
Don't poop on the floor, don't poop on the floor.
肘 一 二 再来一遍
Elbow, one, two. Do it again.
如果有人来攻击你 你会怎么做
If somebody comes to attack you, what do you do?
我们从重拳开始
We take it from the punch and over.
再说 继续 是的
And over, keep going, yes!
起来 是的 继续
Up, yes, keep going.
哦 我的天 哦 喔
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
-哇 - 不 不
- Whoa! - No, no!
我还不想死 不要 我是无辜的
I don't think I'm ready to die, please don't, I'm innocent!
- 哦 我的上帝 -闭上眼睛 小男孩
- Oh, my God. - Go down, Mimi boy.
哦 我的上帝 哦 我的上帝
Oh, my God, oh, my God!
淡定淡定
This is normal! This is normal!
闭上你♥他♥妈♥的嘴闭嘴
Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up!
七 八 一 二
Seven, eight, and one, and two.
是的 那么
Yeah. So.
好吧 我感觉就像是傻叉
Well, I feel like a B-I-T-C-H.
这不是你的错
It's not your fault.
就像是我们挖的坑
You know, we kind of set you up.
好消息是 现在还可以回到
The good news is, now things can go back
像以前一样
to the way they were before, you know?
你真的以为他还能待我如初么
You really think he's going to take me back after me
在我把他三个星期当了三个星期的恋童癖之后
treating him like a sexual predator for three weeks?
是的 完全是
Yeah, totally.
-冷静 没关系 我们在帮你们 - 啥
- Chill, it's okay, we're helping. - What the hell?
你可以呼吸
You can breathe,
如果你可以说话 你就可以呼吸
if you can talk, you can breathe.
好吧 好吧 好吧
Okay, okay, okay.
抱歉
Sorry, Al.
没关系
Oh, that's okay.
-亲爱的 -那么 幸福的家庭 对吧
- Oh, sweetie. - So, happy family, huh?
-听...-看...
- Listen... - Look...
不 你开始
No, you start.
很抱歉 我感觉自己像个傻瓜
I am so sorry, I feel like a complete fool.
-如果你不想和我有任何关系 我会完全...-嘘 嘘 嘘
- If you want nothing to do with me, I completely... - Shh, shh, shh.
我等了53年才找到真爱
I waited 53 years to find someone to fall in love with.
我认为我没有另一个53年
I don't think I have another 53 years
再来等待了
to wait to see if it happens again.
我爱你
I love you.
- 我爱你 嗯
- I love you. - Mm.
把他解开 伙计
Cut him free, dude.
什么 他们可以用手做想做的事了么
What, so they can do whatever they want with their hands?
不行 兄弟
No dice, bro.
我们走吧
Let's go.
幸福的一家
Happy family.
三个月后
走
Go!
没关系
It's okay.
-嘿 -凯夫
- Hey. - Hey, Kev.
斗篷呢
What happened to the cape?
我不再需要了
I don't need it anymore.
敬艾伦
To Alan.
敬爸爸
To Dad.
敬家人
To family.
嗨 蒂姆
Hey, Tim.
她在我后面 是吧
She's right behind me, isn't she?
-克里斯蒂 -我来打个招呼
- Christy. - I was just coming over to say hi,
看看你好吗
and see how you're doing.
-真的很好 -好
- Really good. - Good.
呃 你妈妈说你的大学进展还顺利
Uh, your mom said college is going great.
是的
Yeah.
她一直在和我说
She keeps talking about it.
好的 玩得开心
all right, well, have a good night.
你也是
You, too.
接着
Hold this.
我以为她很恶心
I thought she was gross?
别傻了
Don't be stupid.
她是个完美的女人
She's the perfect woman.
这就是为什么我永远不能和她在一起
That's why I could never be with her.
一切都结束了
It'd be all over.
所以
So?
我不知道 也许为时已晚
I don't know, maybe it's too late.
凯文 告诉他你告诉我的话
Kevin, tell him what you told me.
梦想能不能实现
The only place where dreams become impossible
取决于你自己
is in your own mind.
去吧
Go get them.
喂 嗯
Hey, um...
-我记得她有男朋友 - 哦耶 是的
- I think she has a boyfriend. - Oh, yeah. Yeah.
随它吧
Let's just let it play out.
我还留着那些信件
I kept those letters.
哦 我敢肯定那些很糟糕
Oh, I'm sure they're awful.
很好 特别是像...
Pretty good, one in particular was like...
“玫瑰是红色 紫罗兰是蓝色 我想吻你 ”
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to kiss you."
嗯嗯
Okay, um...
嘿 嘿 那是我的女朋友 你这个王八蛋
Hey, hey, that's my girlfriend, you son of a bitch!
为时已晚 为时已晚
It's too late, it's too late!
-别 克里斯蒂 -停 停 停
- Not now, Christy. - Stop, stop, stop.
安德鲁
Andrew!
不 不 不 去睡觉吧 去睡觉
No, no, no, no. Go to sleep, go to sleep.
去吧 哥们 去吧
Go, buddy, go, go, go.
好啊 那么 我们狂欢吧
That's two, well, let's party!