哥们营地搞笑之旅（2019）

老实告诉我们吧
You might want to tell us about and be honest.
好吧 答案是
Well, the answer is,
除了你妈妈 我不想浪费我生命中的
there's absolutely no one besides your mother
任何一秒钟
that I would like to spend
在其他人身上
even a second of the rest of my life with.
那真的是我的感觉 我不骗你...
That's really the way I feel, and I don't appreciate you...
老兄 你实在太烂了
You're so full of shit, dude.
-伙计们 这是什么 -别这么混♥蛋♥ 老兄
- Guys, what is this- Don't be such an asshole, man.
你知道自己做了什么 只是承认而已
You know what you did, just admit it.
老实说 我不知道你们在说什么 凯文
I honestly have no idea what you guys are talking about. Kevin?
我很困惑 因为你真是个好人 艾伦
I'm so confused because you're such a great guy, Alan,
而且 你几乎是我最好的朋友...
and you're, like, pretty much my best friend...
但是你手♥机♥上的图片
but the pictures on your phone.
什么
What?
你听到他说的话 我们知道了
You heard what he said, we know.
伙计们 来吧 如果你愿意 我可以解释一下...
Guys, come on, that's something that I can explain if you want...
伙计 我们不需要你该死的解释
We don't need your Goddamn explanation, man.
好吧 我们只想让你离开这里
Okay, we just want you to get the hell out of here
离开我们的家人
and leave our family alone.
你知道 如果你不要这么的
You know, if you would stop
胡搅蛮缠
this macho barbarian bullshit for one second
然后听我说 我可以解释一下
and just listen to what I have to say, I can explain this.
你离我妈妈远点
You leave my mom alone.
她嫁的那个男人
She's already married
比你任何时候都要男人一些
to someone who even if he is six feet underground,
尽管他不在了
is more of a man than you'll ever be.
好吧 好吧
Okay, okay.
没关系
That's fine.
你知道 我知道我永远不会
You know, I know that I'll never be
成为你们想要的样子
what you guys want me to be,
但是你有想过吗
but did you ever think for even a second
也许你父亲并不完美
that maybe your dad wasn't perfect?
也许他实际上也有一些自己的问题
Maybe that he actually had some problems of his own?
-小心点 伙计 -你们这么大了 应该知道这一点
- Careful, man. - You're old enough to know this,
你们想让我达到的标准
that this impossible standard
根本是不真实的
that you're holding me to is not real.
你为什么不问你妈妈到底发生了什么
Why don't you ask your mom what really happened?
- 你在说什么 -我说的是你♥爸♥爸 蒂姆
- What are you talking about- I'm talking about your dad, Tim.
那不是癌症 好吗
He didn't have cancer, okay?
是肝衰竭
It was liver failure.
他是一个酒鬼
He was an alcoholic.
但是那又怎样呢
But so what?
我的意思是 这不会改变事实
I mean, that doesn't change the fact
他是一个伟大的父亲
that he was a great dad.
但是你们一直拿来和我比的那个超人
But this superhuman person
根本就不存在
that you guys keep comparing me to doesn't exist.
就像我们其他人一样他也不完美
He was broken just like the rest of us,
只是你们想象出来的...
and you made him out to be this person that...
走
Get out.
-我... -滚
- I'm... - Just go!
-妈的 -什么
- Shit. - What?
杆子在艾伦那
Alan had the poles.
卷云
Cirrus cloud.
那更像是层云
It's more of a stratus.
看 它是平的 而且在顶部
See, it's flat on top.
嗯
Hmm.
你认为艾伦说的是真的吗
You think it's true what Alan said about Dad?
我不知道
I don't know.
即使是这样 那又有什么不同
Even if it was, what would it change?
一切都会不同
Everything.
他可能仍然会和我们在一起
He could've still been here with us.
不是 那是他的错
It would've been his fault that he's not.
他本可以给我们更多时间
He could've given us more time.
是的
Yeah.
太疯狂了 你知道...
It's crazy, you know...
看到你所有的朋友长大...
to see all your friends grow up...
了解到自己的父母 无论是为人还是其他
get to know their parents, you know, as people or whatever.
我们永远都不会看到爸爸的那一面了
We're never going to get that with Dad.
他 永远都会是孩子时期的版本
He's just, always going to be a kid version.
我知道 很多东西都不完美
I know, like, a lot of that stuff is shitty or whatever,
但是我只希望他能看到我们变成男人 你知道吗
but I just wish he could see us as men, you know?
我知道12年了 我们该慢慢忘却了 等等
I know after 12 years we should be over it or whatever, but..
我仍然每天都想念他
I still miss him, every day.
这个新家伙进来了...
This new guy comes in and...
我只想要爸爸
I just want Dad.
我也是
Me, too.
我也一样
Me, three.
我确实希望妈妈开心
I do want Mom to be happy though.
好吧 也许她明年会找到另一个男人
Well, maybe she'll find another guy next year.
想象一下 如果我们有一年的计划
Imagine if we had a year to plan?
兄弟 你真是个傻叉
Dude, you're such a dick.
你们可能恨我 但我会想念艾伦的
You guys might hate me, but I'm going to miss Alan.
我很高兴和他在一起
He was nice to have around.
我知道 凯文 他不是我们认为的那样
I know, Kevin, he's not who we thought he was.
我确定妈妈会找到其他人的
I'm sure Mom will find somebody else.
是的 你可能是对的
Yeah, you're probably right.
蚂蚁 蚂蚁 蚂蚁
Ants, ants, ants!
-哦 该死 -该死 凯文
- Oh, oh shit. - Dammit, Kevin!
没有蚂蚁 伙计
There's no ants, dude.
你做了什么
What did you do?
我可能已经发出去了...
I may or may not have sent the, uh...
我被愤怒蒙蔽了双眼 无法确定
I was blinded by rage. There's no way of knowing for sure.
-亲爱的 我昨晚打电♥话♥给你 - 离我远点
- Sweetie, I tried calling you all last night. - Stay away from me!
我不想听到你的声音 我只想你走
I don't want to hear it from you, I just want you to go.
但是宝贝 我完全可以解释那些照片
But babe, I can totally explain those pictures.
不要叫我宝贝
Do not call me babe!
-我以为你是一个正派的人 -我是一个正派的人
- I thought you were a decent man. - I am a decent man.
不 不 不 别说了
No, no, no, save it!
天哪 我应该知道的
God, I should've known.
我不该和你搅在一起
I never should've gotten involved with you.
我曾经找到我一生的爱
I found the love of my life once,
应该就足够了
that should've been enough.
我需要你远离我的孩子们
I need you to stay away from my boys, just...-
离他们远一点
just stay away from them!
凯文 上车
Kevin, get in the car!
但是我没有...我没有
But I don't... I don't have my stuff.
不 蒂米和亚当会带来的 上车
No, Timmy and Adam will bring it. Get in the car, now!
凯文 再见
See you, Kevin.
茜拉医生男性诊所
你是否患有勃起功能障碍
Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction?
你是否患有勃起功能障碍
Do you suffer from erectile dysfunction?
你遭受了可怕的副作用
Have you suffered horrible side effects
从品牌名称处理
from brand name treatments?
如果你准备试试其他的
If you're ready to try something different
并恢复性生活 今天就打电♥话♥给我 茜拉医生
and get your sex life back, call me, Dr. Sheila Sterns today.
你可以在白天或晚上随时打电♥话♥
You can call anytime, day or night.
或拨♥打♥我们的24小时热♥线♥ 我们会接的
Or call our 24 hour hotline, I will pick up.
妈的
Oh, shit.
妈的
Oh, shit.
-怎么了 兄弟 -茜拉是个男科医生
- What's up, bro- Sheila is a dick doctor.
- 闭嘴 -不 伙计
- Shut up. - No, dude.
我刚刚在电视上看过广♥告♥ 我打了热♥线♥
I just literally saw a commercial on TV. I called the hotline,
他们是说你可以发一张
and they said you could literally
你的阴♥茎♥的照片
send her a picture of your penis.
想一想 他发了一张照片
Think about it, he sends a picture.
她说:“那太大了 你需要马上过来 ”
She says, "That's so big, you need to come in right now."
天哪 你是对的
Holy shit, you're right.
我们怎么办
What are we going to do?
好吧 我们现在必须弥补一下
Well, we got to fix it, now.
你早上几点起床
What time are you up in the morning?
你没有课吗