如果有腿，我会踢你（2025）

- Yes? - Hi, it's Stephen.
-喂 -嗨 我是斯蒂芬
May I come in?
我能进来吗
I'm expecting a patient. He just buzzed in.
我在等病人 他刚过门禁
Would you mind waiting in my office
你介意在我办公室等等吗
down the hall just a few moments?
就在走廊尽头
Your office? Who are you, the boss?
你的办公室 你是谁 老板吗
No. Just another therapist.
不 只是另一个咨♥询♥师
I have an office. It's down the hall.
我有一个办公室 在走廊尽头
Door is open. You'll see it.
门是开着的 你会看见的
This is my time. She's mine right now.
这是我预约的时间 现在她属于我
You can't make me wait, okay?
你不能让我等 好吗
This is an emergency situation.
这是个紧急情况
You can either wait in my office
你可以在我的办公室等
or you need to leave the building entirely.
要不你就得离开这座大楼
Is that a baby?
那是个宝宝吗
Is that your baby? You have a baby?
那是你的宝宝吗 你有宝宝？
I mean, do you guys have a baby together?
我意思是 你们有一个宝宝吗
Okay, this situation does not concern you, okay?
好的 这个情况与你无关 好吗
Make a choice.
自己选
Okay, I'll be in your office.
好吧 我会在你办公室
But I won't wait that long.
但我不会等太久
Okay.
好的
Wow.
哇
Can you believe that I got talked into getting
你敢信我最后真的同意
this fucking hamster after all of that? My God, I...
买♥♥那只该死的仓鼠吗 我的天 我
She's right. I really am so stretchable.
她没错 我真的很有拉伸性
- It's disgusting. - You know...
-太恶心了 -你知道
when I was in medical school,
我在医学院的时候
I had to do a stint in a medical experiments lab.
我必须在医学实验室干一段时间
And we were testing the efficacy of a drug on rats.
我们那时在测试一种药物对小鼠的效力
- Oh, I... So cool. - And the way it worked is we'd take the rats,
-哦我...真酷 -是这样进行的 我们抓起小鼠
and we'd drop them in this guillotine thingy,
丢进这个断头台一样的装置里
chop their heads off individually,
砍下它们的头 一个个地
peel the skin back
把皮掀开
and then look at their brains under a microscope.
然后在显微镜下观察它们的大脑
I'm just so curious
我好好奇
about the process with that.
这个过程的情况
- I wonder-- - The rats would claw and bite you...
- 我想知道... -那些小鼠会挠你 咬你
...when you put your hand in the cage to pick them up.
当你把手伸进笼子去抓它们的时候
So they gave us these steel chain mail gloves.
所以他们给了我们这种钢环手套
They're German. They're beautiful.
德国制的 非常精美
So you put on the glove and you put your hand in the cage,
然后你戴上手套 把手伸进笼子里
and the rats would just attach themselves to the glove,
那些小鼠会紧紧抓住手套
clinging for dear life, you know?
奋力求生 你明白吗
And then when you got to the guillotine box,
然后等你走到断头台盒子的时候
you had to shake them off.
你不得不把它们甩下来
Really shake them.
很用力地甩
I was always worried that the rat would get hurt
我一直担心这会伤到小鼠
when it hit its head on the guillotine, you know?
它们的头撞到断头台的时候 你明白吧
But their brains were always fine
但它们的大脑总是没事
when we looked under the microscope.
在显微镜下看的时候
Oh.
哦
Rodents are resilient creatures.
啮齿动物是顽强的生物
Mm-hm. Yeah.
嗯哼 对
I'll tell Stephen your session's cancelled.
我会告诉斯蒂芬你的咨♥询♥取消了
You have to take care of this, okay?
你得处理这个 对吧
I love you.
我爱你
Just tell me, was she suicidal? Homicidal?
就告诉我 她有自杀倾向吗 杀人倾向？
No. Mm-mm. No.
不 不会 没有
No, she was obsessed with protecting the baby...
不 她执着于保护宝宝
And, uh, yeah.
所以 对
She wouldn't hurt the baby.
她不会伤害宝宝
And she didn't talk about suicide.
她也没有提过自杀
She wouldn't abandon Riley.
她不会遗弃莱利
She just did abandon him.
她已经遗弃他了
Right, well, you know, I mean, um...
对 你知道 我意思是
you know, permanently. Forever.
你明白 完全遗弃 永远
Is that it? I have another patient waiting
就这些吗 我还有病人在等
who really needs my help.
非常需要帮助的人
It's fine. It's more common than you think.
没事的 这比你想象的常见
A woman tries to run away from all the responsibilities.
一个想逃避所有责任的女人
- Yeah. - Everybody gets all upset,
-对 -大家都很苦恼
then they come back with their tails between their legs.
然后她们就夹着尾巴灰溜溜回来了
Okay. Okay.
好了 好了
Thank you, Officer.
谢谢你 警官
When you have finished recording,
结束录制时
you may hang up or press one for more options.
您可以挂断或按1获取更多选项
Hi. Hi,
嗨 嗨
it's, uh... it's me again,
是 呃 又是我
your tenant from 22 Algonquin, unit one. You know,
亚岗昆22号♥一单元的租户 你知道
the one with the giant fucking hole in the ceiling!
就是天花板上有他妈的天坑的那个
Your repairs guy ran off, and it's getting worse
你的修理工跑了 状况更糟糕了
and I want to know why you're doing nothing,
我想知道为什么你不作为
and why you're happy for my daughter and I to be staying
为什么你乐意看着我女儿和我住在
at a flophouse full of freaks
全是怪人的破旅馆
while I continue to pay you rent!
而我还要继续付你房♥租
And I have a very, very, very important patient
而且我有个非常 非常 非常重要的病人
that is a prominent lawyer, and I am not afraid to--
是一位名律师 我不怕使用...
Fuck!
操
I was after some Visa gift cards.
我想找那种维萨礼品卡
Uh, what denominations do you have?
呃 你们有哪些面值的
Do you have a minute to talk before the children come out?
孩子出来前你有时间谈谈吗
- Mm-hm. Sure. - Okay, come.
-嗯 当然 -好的 来
So, I've noticed that you still haven't made the appointment
所以 我注意到你依然没有确定时间
for family therapy like we discussed the other morning.
来做我们那天早上谈过的家庭咨♥询♥
I know. It's just been so crazy at work.
我知道 我工作那边出了大事
Right. So I can't stress to you enough how important this is.
行 这件事的重要性我已经强调多次了
I'm on your side here.
我和你是一边的
Yes. Yes. Yes, I understand.
是 是 是 我理解
We need her off the machine.
我们必须让她脱离机器
Yeah, so do I.
对 我也想
Okay. I'm gonna be frank.
好 我就直话直说了
We need her off of it as soon as possible for her to remain here.
她需要尽快脱离机器才能留在这里
And to do that, she needs to gain faster.
而要实现这点 她就得更快增重
Okay. Well, but we have until next week, right?
好 不过我们还有下周 对吧
- The 50 pound goal. - No.
-45斤目标 -不
The way things are going, uh, she's not gonna make that goal.
照目前状况 呃 她完不成目标
What are you saying?
你在说什么
We do weigh-ins every morning. She's not gonna make the goal.
我们每天早上都会称重 她完不成目标
Because the goal you set was impossible.
因为你定了个不可能的目标
We were set up to fail.
我们注定会失败
- It's unrealistic. - No.
-不现实 -不
We're gonna have to reassess the level of care.
我们需要重新评估护理等级
What does that mean?
那是什么意思
Well, we can discuss it in our meeting.
我们可以会议上谈
You know what I would love, and think would be so good,
你知道我想怎样吗 我觉得最好怎样
is if we could get a date on the calendar for the surgery.
就是我们能确定一个手术的日期
A concrete goal that we can all work towards.
一个大家有奔头的切实目标
It's not... it's not a surgery.
不 不是什么手术
The tube removal? Well, uh... procedure, whatever you call it.
拔管吗 呃 操作 随你怎么叫
It's not a procedure either.
也不是操作
Uh, when it's time to remove it, the doctor just pulls it out.
等到要取的时候 医生只是单纯把它拔♥出♥来♥
Pull it out?
拔♥出♥来♥
Yeah, it just slides out.
对 它会滑出来
They could just... really just pull it out?
他们真的可以 就这样拔♥出♥来♥吗
Yeah, it's that simple.
对 就那么简单
Oh. But what happens to the hole?
哦 那那个洞怎么办
It closes up on its own.
会自己闭合
Oh.
哦
It's kinda like when you get a cut on your tongue.
有点类似舌头上的切口