荣誉团队（2022）

啊
Dah!
你在等什么 等口♥交♥吗
What you waiting for, a blowjob?
继续练
Get going!
现在看看他 通过他的儿子特拉维斯生活
Now look at him. Lives through his son, Travis.
投
Go.
所以同学们 我们学到了什么
So, class, what have we learned?
不仅是为了上大学
It's not just about going to college,
也是为了确保我毕业后不必回来
it's making sure I don't have to come back after college.
我举的例子都读了好学校
All my examples went to good schools,
所以这和接受良好的教育无关
so it has nothing to do with getting a good education.
而是关乎声望 人脉
It's about prestige, contacts,
还有那个机会最多的地方
the place that's going to open the most doors,
一个鲤鱼可以跃龙门的地方
where mediocre people get outsized opportunities,
这个天才在那里写了这本书
and where the genius who wrote this book
发挥了她的潜质 也是我要去的地方
fulfilled her potential, where I'm gonna go.
这是一个四年计划
It's been a four-year plan,
今天就要结束了
and it's coming to a close today.
我认为第二稿很棒 昂娜
I think the second draft is terrific, Honor.
非常不错
It is--wow, it is so good.
这都得感谢……
It's all thanks--
D 我在调D弦
♪ D, I'm a-tuning the D string ♪
D D D D D
♪ D, D, D, D, D ♪
这都得感谢你 卡尔文先生
It's all thanks to you, Mr. Calvin.
要不是你 我都不会知道
I mean, without you, I wouldn't have even known
为了进一所好学校
how important my college essay was
我的大学论文有多重要
to getting into a good school.
不 别说了
No, stop it.
你知道 昂娜 如果我必须打个比方
You know, Honor, if I had to use a metaphor,
我会说这就像我教了音乐课
I would say that it's like I taught the music class,
而你演奏了这首歌♥
but you played the song.
我喜欢好的比喻
I love a good metaphor.
这是我们的另一个共同点
Well, that is just another thing we have in common,
要不了多久 我们就能完成
and soon enough, we're gonna be finishing
彼此的比喻
each other's metaphors.
我们现在再看看你的大学名单
Now, let's take a look at your college list again.
我知道
I know.
我为什么要拍这家伙的马屁
Why am I kissing up to this guy?
那里有个线索
There's a clue.
这是我非去不可的地方
This is the place I have to go,
哈佛
Harvard.
这学校的招牌打得很响
The school's brand is success.
赢得的成功 不劳而获的成功
Earned success,unearned success,
都不重要
it doesn't matter.
这是我离开这鬼地方的单程票
That's my one-way ticket out of this hellhole.
保证我不会他这样
And a guarantee to not end up like--
结束人生
well, like this guy.
好的 我在看你的名单
Okay, so I'm looking at your list here,
好像你漏掉了一个
and it seems like you left one off.
你对哈佛没兴趣吗
Are you not interested in Harvard?
哦 我很想去那里
Oh, I would love to go there,
但我觉得我没有机会被录取
but I didn't think I had a chance of getting in.
你说的没错
You're not wrong.
录取率约为5%
The acceptance rate is about 5%.
4.6% -4.6% 对
4.6%. - 4.6%, yes.
但我要给你个惊喜 昂娜
But I got a surprise for you, Honor.
知道这一点的人不多 但我在那里有关系
Not many people know this, but I have a connection there.
真的吗
Really?
上面的这位豪伊·卡普兰
This gentleman right here, Howie Kaplan,
我高中的死党
my best friend from high school,
是一位非常成功的哈佛校友
is a very successful Harvard alumni.
搞对冲基金的
Hedge fund guy.
哇哦 我一点都不知道
Oh, wow, I had no idea.
我九年级时就知道了
I knew this in ninth grade.
即使没有读同一所大学
We remained very close even though we didn't go
我们依然很亲密
to the same college.
我们甚至成立了自己的清唱团
We even started our own a cappella group,
来势汹汹
You've Got Scale.
AOL那时候很火
AOL was big back then.
AOL是什么
What's AOL?
天呐
Oh, my God.
我可以替你编编故事 昂娜
Well, I could spin ya some stories, Honor.
呜
Whew.
我很想听听
I would love to hear them.
有一次 我们去了圣路易斯
Well, one time, we went to Saint Louis
参加一个清唱比赛
for an a cappella competition,
豪伊从酒店大厅偷了一部手♥机♥
and Howie stole a phone out of the hotel lobby.
不会吧
No way.
真够狂野 卡尔文先生
Wild times, Mr. Calvin.
我们那时候是一群疯子
We were a crazy bunch back then.
他最后把手♥机♥还回去了 不过不重要
He did give the phone back, but that doesn't matter.
因为我和豪伊很亲密
But because Howie and I are so close,
他喜欢利用自己的影响力
he likes to use his influence to get
把我最拔尖的学生介绍给
my best and brightest student a good look
招生办的人
with the admissions people.
虽然不是保证 但能助你一臂之力
It's not a guarantee, but it is a leg up.
虽然很缥缈 但这是我最好的选择
As tenuous as it is, this is my best bet.
所以我才有好消息告诉你 昂娜
That's why I got some big news for you, Honor.
天哪 你不会是说……
My goodness, you don't mean--
哦 没错
Oh, yes I do.
在我四分之一的生命里
For a quarter of my life,
我一直拼命努力就为了这一刻
I've been working my ass off for this moment.
你在我的前四选之列
You are in my top four choices.
等等 你是说前四吗
Wait, did you say top four?
对
Yeah.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
没事
Yes.
没事
Yes.
我只是不知所措了
I'm just overwhelmed.
一想到我是前四
I mean, to think I'm in the top four,
这太过奢望了
it's too much to hope for.
G G
♪ G, G ♪
我在调G弦
♪ I'm tuning my G string ♪
我严重失算了
I've made a serious miscalculation.
这个变♥态♥认为他爱上我了
This creep thinks he's in love with me.
我以为我在利用这一点
I thought I was using that to my advantage,
但光是奉承他还不够
but fawning over him wasn't enough.
他想让我给他另外的奖励
He wants me to offer him another incentive.
我太激动了 卡尔文先生
I'm so thrilled, Mr. Calvin.
非常感谢你考虑我
Thank you so much for considering me.
等等 你要去哪儿
Oh, wait. Where are you going?
你不想知道你的对手是谁吗
Don't you want to see who you're up against?
天啊 不 不
Oh, my God, no, no, no.
我不想卷入和朋友的某种竞争
I don't want to get caught up in some kind of competition with my friends,
特别是自从……
especially since...
我知道你不会选错人
I know you'll pick the right person.
再见
See ya.
我不会说谎
I won't lie.
这是个挫折 我不想让他告诉我
That was a setback, but I didn't want him
谁是我的竞争对手 有两点原因
to tell me who the competition was for two reasons.
第一 我不用他告诉
One, I don't need him to.
在学校的这群差生中
In this school of underachieving losers,
只有三个人有这个可能
there's only three people it could be.
第二 当我把他们扫出路面的时候
And two, when I leave them on the side of the road,
我不想让他怀疑我与之有关
I don't want him to suspect I had anything to do with it.
我拼得太狠太久
I've worked too hard and too long.
这不过是需要克服的又一个障碍
It's just another obstacle to overcome.
生活给别人柠檬 他们就做柠檬汁
Life gives other people lemons, they make lemonade.
生活给我柠檬 我就卖♥♥了赚钱
Life gives me lemons, I sell them for a dollar
卖♥♥给那些不知道我是免费得来的笨蛋
to some chump who doesn't know I got them for free.
我不敢相信他没有把机会
Well, I cannot believe he's not