自由职业者（2023）

As of today, I am no longer the president of Paldoñia.
从今天起，我不再是帕尔多尼亚的总统
A transitional government has been put in place
过渡政♥府♥已经成立
until the next free elections.
直到下一次自♥由♥选举
During this transitional period, $5 billion will be invested
在过渡时期，50 亿美元将投资
in health, education, and infrastructure.
在卫生 教育和基础设施方面
This is an investment in the people of Paldoñia.
这是对帕尔多尼亚人♥民♥的投资
Today, you get back what is rightfully yours,
今天，你将拿回属于自己的东西
and for the years to come, we'll protect
在未来的岁月里，我们将保护
and control these resources with the sole purpose...
并控制这些资源的唯一目的...
Mason.
梅森
Of giving this beautiful nation...
让这个美丽的国家
Like, uh, dancing when he's, like, not fluent.
比如，呃，在他不流利的时候跳舞
He's literally...
他简直...
That's only because you know...
那只是因为 你知道...
Anyway, I want to teach...
总之，我想教...
Daddy!
爸爸
Hey, Worm. Ha ha ha!
嘿 小甜心 哈哈！
And check this out.
再看看这个
What happened to your face?
你的脸怎么了？
It's a long story.
说来话长
Oh, baby. Here I am.
哦 宝贝 我回来了
In one piece.
完好无损
Just so you know, that broken man
你要知道，那个让你想离婚的
you wanted a divorce, he disappeared somewhere
破碎男人 他在南美洲
in South America.
不知去向了
I was really hoping you'd reconsider.
我真的希望你能重新考虑一下
Ah, you know what?
啊，你知道吗？
I think I'm gonna have to consult my lawyer.
我想我得去咨♥询♥一下我的律师了
Oh, Mason.
哦，梅森
谢谢你到帕尔多尼亚来
我给你送了一个"小"惊喜
I'm just gonna make a... quick stop.
我只是要...临时停靠一下
Jesus
天啊
Yes!
太棒了
And just like that,
就这样
I saw an incredible life of minivans,
我看到了令人难以置信的面包车
play dates, and amusement parks,
玩耍聚会和游乐园的生活
and for the first time in my entire overachieving life...
这是我一生中第一次...
No! That dance.
不，是那支舞
I was happy.
我很开心
What's up?
怎么了？
What do you say we just take the rest
我们今天就休息一天
of the day off and spend it with the family?
和家人在一起，怎么样？
Yeah, you like that?
喜欢吗？
Yeah. - Let's do it.
喜欢 - 就这么办
You're so cute. Why?
你真可爱 为什么？
I had purpose.
我有目标
He says he doesn't know that I know.
他说他不知道我知道
I think he does know.
我想他是知道的
He was there, and then we came out,
他在那里，然后我们就出来了
and he was, like, just dick staring,
而他，就像，只是家伙盯着
and it was, like, weird because, you know, like,
这很奇怪，因为，你知道，就像，
you only have 2 seconds, 5... 5 tops...
你只有2秒钟，5...最多5秒...
Well, because it's... it's impressive.
嗯，因为它...它令人印象深刻
To stare at a guy's dick.
盯着男人的鸡♥巴♥看
You look at that, it is like a beast of its own.
你看，它就像一头自己的野兽
He... it was, like... I'm telling you it was...
他...好像...我告诉你...
It's a snake. It's a monster.
这是一条蛇。这是一个怪物
8 Mississippi.
8 密西西比州
Yeah, it's... yeah. All right. What else?
是啊，这是...是啊。好吧 还有什么?
Are you a serious journalist for sure?
你确定自己是一名严肃的记者吗？
I am for sure a serious journalist,
我肯定是一名严肃的记者
and I would like you to take me seriously.
我希望你们能认真对待我
I don't understand why...
我不明白为什么...
I think... I think I can do that after what just happened.
我想...经过刚才的事 我想我能做到
You're not. No, that's fair.
你没有不，这很公平
Yeah.
是啊
2-5 seconds max, dude.
最多 2-5 秒，老兄
I am still very sorry.
我仍然感到非常抱歉
I didn't know you felt this way, but we can...
我不知道你有这种感觉，但我们可以...
Those are... those are unwritten rules
这些是...这些是不成文的规定
on the walls of every YMCA.
在每个基♥督♥教青年会的墙上
There are rooms up there, We can... we can take this...
上面有房♥间，我们可以...我们可以把这个...
Every fucking YMCA has something
每个该死的基♥督♥教青年会都有
in the bathroom about 5 seconds dick staring max.
在浴室里最多盯着小♥弟♥弟♥看 5 秒钟
Really? Yeah, man.
真的吗？是啊
Welcome to America.
欢迎来到美国