自由职业者（2023）

《自♥由♥职业者》
Do you know that feeling when you're doing
你们体会过那种服从召唤
exactly what you were put on the Earth to do?
履行使命的感觉吗？
The one where it's like everything inside you
那种一腔热血
is moving together in harmony with the universe?
激♥情♥澎湃的感觉？
Get off!
下车！
Get off!
下车！
Get in formation!
整队
No matter what happens...
无论发生什么...
What the fuck took you so long, private?
你♥他♥妈♥怎么这么久才来，二等兵？
everything will be OK.
一切都会好起来的
Do not fuck it up on me, private!
别他妈搞砸了，二等兵！
Sweet fucking baby Jesus!
我他妈的老天啊
Yeah.
是的
Me neither...
我也没有体会过...
but, you know, one can hope, right?
但是，你知道，要满怀希望，对吧？
It started when I was a kid.
这要从我小时候说起
I always needed to help people.
我总是需要帮助别人
Hey! Leave him alone!
放开他
Or at least I wanted to...
至少我是这么想的...
Unh!
呃
So I did what any normal, red-blooded American would do.
所以我做了任何一个正常的 有血性的美国人都会做的事
To our top summer associate.
敬我们最优秀的暑期实习生
I became a lawyer.
我成了一名律师
That seemed like a safe move.
这似乎是一个安全的选项
You're welcome here at this firm
本公♥司♥欢迎您
anytime you want.
随时随地
You're one of us now, all right? - Yeah!
你现在是我们的一员了，好吗？ - 是啊
But then, I saw it...
但后来，我彷佛看到了一生...
a life of backyard grilling and play dates,
后院烧烤和玩耍，
home improvement projects
搞搞家庭装♥修♥
and over planned tourist adventures,
和计划外的旅游探险，
neighbors I probably didn't want to know,
一些我可能不想认识的邻居，
a wife I probably didn't want to know either,
一个我可能也不想认识的妻子，
maybe an affair with my neighbor.
也许和我的邻居有一腿
The thing was whenever I saw people like that,
问题是，每当我看到这样的人，
I always thought,"When did you decide to stop trying?"
我总在想，"你是什么时候决定接受命运拒绝尝试的？
So I folded that hand.
所以我弃了那把牌
Yeah. A year of law school left, 6 figures waiting,
对，法学院还剩一年，6 位数收入在等着
and I enlist in the fucking army?
我还是来参他妈的军了？
I mean, what the actual fuck?
我是说，这到底他妈的怎么回事？
Everyone thought I was insane.
大家都以为我疯了
1, 2, 3!
1, 2, 3!
I thought I was insane.
我也以为我疯了
The next thing I knew,
我知道的下一件事是
I made it through the Q Course with Special Forces selection.
我通过了特种部队的选拔测试
One minute!
一分钟
And for the first time
然后我一生中
in my entire life...
第一次
Let's go surprise some assholes!
我们去给那些混♥蛋♥一个惊喜吧
I was happy.
开心得不行
Whoo! Let's do this!
喔！我们开始吧
Saddle up!
上马
Whoo!
喔！
I'd found something worth doing
我找到了值得做的事
in a world where things worth doing
在这个世界上，真正值得做的事情
they didn't come around very often.
并不常有
I found myself...
我发现了自我...
Aah!
啊
I found love...
也找到了真爱...
Push! Push!
用力 用力
I found family...
我拥有了家人...
Come on! Let's go!
来吧 我们走
and most of all,
最重要的是，
I found purpose.
我找到了使命
That's our target. President Venegas.
这就是我们的目标 韦内加斯总统
We're here to take him out.
我们是来干掉他的
See you on the ground!
地面上见
Huh?
啊？
No! Shit! Ohh!
不 靠 哦
Whoa! Ohh! Huh!
哇 哦 哦
Ohh!
噢
Unh!
啊
Oh, fuck! Aw, shit!
操 妈的
Huh!
啊
Ohh!
哦
Huh!
呃
Guys. Ugh.
伙计们 啊
And just like that,
就这样
my purpose was gone.
我的使命没了
I went back to the normal life that I tried to avoid
我回到了我一直在逃避的普通人的生活
and couldn't feel more like a failure.
感觉自己失败得不能再失败了
Mason!
梅森
Mason!
梅森
Casey's gonna be late for school!
凯西上学要迟到了
Good morning.
早上好
Hey! Hey!
嘿！
Ew! Your breath smells, Daddy.
呃 你口臭 爸爸
Ohh. Got to brush my teeth.
哦 我去刷个牙
OK. You want to drive? - No!
好的 你想开车吗？ - 不想
OK. Yeah. In a few years, it's all yours, though.
好吧 不过再过几年 就轮到你来开了
All right? You in? Everything...
好了 你东西都带齐了吗
Mason, don't forget her seat belt.
梅森，别忘了她的安全带
Make sure to buckle your seat belt.
确保系好安全带
Please.
请
Wave to Mommy because she'll hate me
向妈妈挥手，因为如果你不挥
even more than she already does if you don't.
她会比现在更讨厌我
You know, how's school going?
学校怎么样？
There's a boy named Chase
有个男孩叫切斯
that bothers me all the time.
一直来烦我
He tries to kiss me and stuff.
他老是想亲我之类的
Boy tries to kiss you? You're 9.
男孩想亲你？你才9岁
I'm 8, Daddy.
我才8岁，爸爸
That makes it even worse.
那就更糟了
Tell you what. The next time he tries to kiss you,
我教你一招 下次他想亲你的时候
you hit him in the throat.
你打他的喉咙
You know what the throat is?
你知道喉咙是什么吗？
I'm not an idiot.
我不是白♥痴♥
Just hit him in the Adam's apple.
就打他的喉结
All boys have them.
所有男孩都有
Like penises?
比如阴♥茎♥？
Uh, yes. Kind... yes.
嗯 是的 那种 也对
Um, just... just hit him right here, OK?
嗯，就...就打他这里，好吗？
It'll make it so he can't breathe for a little bit.
这会让他暂时无法呼吸
Like hitting him in the penis.
像打他的小♥弟♥弟♥一样
Yes, and you know what? You can do that, also.
是的，你知道吗？你也可以这样做
All right? OK. We're here.
好吗？ 我们到了
Remember your backpack.
拿上你的背包
Go forth, wreak havoc, and don't forget your book bag.
去吧，去大显身手吧，别忘了你的书包
Bye, Daddy.
再见 爸爸
You have a great day, OK?
祝你今天过得愉快，好吗？
Learn things.
学点东西
So I told them...
所以我告诉他们
they can't charge me those calls.
他们不能问我要这些电♥话♥费
I... I... I didn't make those calls.
那些电♥话♥又不是我打的
I... I... I don't even know any of those numbers.
我都不知道这些号♥码
They won't leave me alone, man.
他们不肯放过我 伙计
So, um... so you want to hire me
所以，嗯...所以你想雇我
to... argue with your phone company for you?
来...帮你和电♥话♥公♥司♥争论这个？
Just my old phone company.
只是我以前的电♥话♥公♥司♥
Scott, uh...